no rly... Y SO SRS
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JACOB: Yo.
JACOB FANGIRLS: YAY!!
BELLA: My vampire friend left, it’s cool.
JACOB: I’m mad. Let’s talk, even though Embry is back there in the car shaking his head.
BELLA: What’s your problem?
JACOB: I’m mad and don’t want to be here. Does your friend know about Victoria?
BELLA: Yes.
JACOB: Are the... other Cullens coming back?
BELLA: No.
JACOB: GOOD. Bye now.
BELLA: :(
JACOB: Wait, just kidding, sorry. I should be an ass, I knew you were a vampire-lover and I should have expected this.
BELLA:... Thanks? I think? Can’t we be friends while she’s here?
JACOB: Not really, no. By the way, you smell like her now and it’s gross.
BELLA: I’m torn because I’ll die when she leaves but I want to be your friend too! My life is so hard.
JACOB: YOU LOVE HER, DON’T YOU.
BELLA/ALICE SHIPPERS: :D
STEPHENIE MEYER: Not like that, I’m a saintly Mormon you pervs.
BELLA/ALICE SHIPPERS: D:
JACOB: Anyway, if I’m around I might lose my temper and kill her and you probably wouldn’t like that so I’ll wait until she’s gone before we hang out. Let’s almost kiss!
BELLA: Well I guess that’s okay, since my REAL Prince Charming dumped me.
PHONE: It’s okay, i’ll interrupt so there’s less awkwardness!
JACOB: *answers* Yeah? Yeah? No, he’s at a funeral. Okay fine, hang up on me.
BELLA: WHO WAS THAT, JERK?!
JACOB: Carlisle. It’s cool, he didn’t want to talk to you.
BELLA: Well that’s just-- what is wrong with you?
JACOB: HAVE TO NOW.
BELLA: Wait, let’s entangle our legs first!
ALICE: I’m back and something’s up with Edward.
BELLA: I FAINT.
READER: Oh come on!
JACOB: Good job, bloodsucker, you made her faint.
ALICE: Well to be fair, what doesn’t. BRB, calling people... Heeey Rose, what’s going on. Let’s be vague about Edward doing something stupid. What’s that? Oh, no, Bella’s fine, my vision was a little off. Okay... okay, bye.
BELLA: Alice, Carlisle called and Jacob told him Charlie was at a funeral.
ALICE: Good job! That was actually Edward and Rosalie kind of told him about my vision that you were dead and now he thinks it’s your funeral.
BELLA: Oh. Well that’s an unfortunate misunderstanding but some one can go clear that up for him.
ALICE: Not really, he’s running off to Italy to piss off some other vampires and get himself killed. I saw a vision, he asks them to kill him, they’ll say no but he’ll do something to provoke them to doing it anyway.
JACOB: God this is awkward for me.
BELLA: Alice we have to go save him. Oh wait, Charlie...
JACOB: It’s cool, we’ll keep an eye on him while you run off to save your ex-boyfriend right after you and I almost kissed.
BELLA: Awesome, I’ll go get my things!
JACOB: Alice, you’re an ass, taking her off to some leeches who AREN’T goody goody like you.
ALICE: Yeah, you’re right, vampires like those are the thing you werewolves actually hate.
JACOB: ... So WHY are you taking her?
ALICE: Well it’s either them or yet another vampire in town here obsessed with her whiny ass. It’s got to be one or the other.
BELLA: I’m ready to go!
JACOB: STAY WITH ME. D:
BELLA: No thanks, bye! I’ll kiss your hand before I go though. Take care of Charlie!
JACOB: ... Bitch :(
END OF CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JACOB/BELLA SHIPPERS: I HATE THIS BOOK NOW.
EDWARD/BELLA SHIPPERS: I HAVE HOPE AGAIN!
Back to chapter one!
JACOB: Yo.
JACOB FANGIRLS: YAY!!
BELLA: My vampire friend left, it’s cool.
JACOB: I’m mad. Let’s talk, even though Embry is back there in the car shaking his head.
BELLA: What’s your problem?
JACOB: I’m mad and don’t want to be here. Does your friend know about Victoria?
BELLA: Yes.
JACOB: Are the... other Cullens coming back?
BELLA: No.
JACOB: GOOD. Bye now.
BELLA: :(
JACOB: Wait, just kidding, sorry. I should be an ass, I knew you were a vampire-lover and I should have expected this.
BELLA:... Thanks? I think? Can’t we be friends while she’s here?
JACOB: Not really, no. By the way, you smell like her now and it’s gross.
BELLA: I’m torn because I’ll die when she leaves but I want to be your friend too! My life is so hard.
JACOB: YOU LOVE HER, DON’T YOU.
BELLA/ALICE SHIPPERS: :D
STEPHENIE MEYER: Not like that, I’m a saintly Mormon you pervs.
BELLA/ALICE SHIPPERS: D:
JACOB: Anyway, if I’m around I might lose my temper and kill her and you probably wouldn’t like that so I’ll wait until she’s gone before we hang out. Let’s almost kiss!
BELLA: Well I guess that’s okay, since my REAL Prince Charming dumped me.
PHONE: It’s okay, i’ll interrupt so there’s less awkwardness!
JACOB: *answers* Yeah? Yeah? No, he’s at a funeral. Okay fine, hang up on me.
BELLA: WHO WAS THAT, JERK?!
JACOB: Carlisle. It’s cool, he didn’t want to talk to you.
BELLA: Well that’s just-- what is wrong with you?
JACOB: HAVE TO NOW.
BELLA: Wait, let’s entangle our legs first!
ALICE: I’m back and something’s up with Edward.
BELLA: I FAINT.
READER: Oh come on!
JACOB: Good job, bloodsucker, you made her faint.
ALICE: Well to be fair, what doesn’t. BRB, calling people... Heeey Rose, what’s going on. Let’s be vague about Edward doing something stupid. What’s that? Oh, no, Bella’s fine, my vision was a little off. Okay... okay, bye.
BELLA: Alice, Carlisle called and Jacob told him Charlie was at a funeral.
ALICE: Good job! That was actually Edward and Rosalie kind of told him about my vision that you were dead and now he thinks it’s your funeral.
BELLA: Oh. Well that’s an unfortunate misunderstanding but some one can go clear that up for him.
ALICE: Not really, he’s running off to Italy to piss off some other vampires and get himself killed. I saw a vision, he asks them to kill him, they’ll say no but he’ll do something to provoke them to doing it anyway.
JACOB: God this is awkward for me.
BELLA: Alice we have to go save him. Oh wait, Charlie...
JACOB: It’s cool, we’ll keep an eye on him while you run off to save your ex-boyfriend right after you and I almost kissed.
BELLA: Awesome, I’ll go get my things!
JACOB: Alice, you’re an ass, taking her off to some leeches who AREN’T goody goody like you.
ALICE: Yeah, you’re right, vampires like those are the thing you werewolves actually hate.
JACOB: ... So WHY are you taking her?
ALICE: Well it’s either them or yet another vampire in town here obsessed with her whiny ass. It’s got to be one or the other.
BELLA: I’m ready to go!
JACOB: STAY WITH ME. D:
BELLA: No thanks, bye! I’ll kiss your hand before I go though. Take care of Charlie!
JACOB: ... Bitch :(
END OF CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JACOB/BELLA SHIPPERS: I HATE THIS BOOK NOW.
EDWARD/BELLA SHIPPERS: I HAVE HOPE AGAIN!
Back to chapter one!