► Today was a very stressful and exhausting day. Without getting too deep into the details, things with Dean kinda came to a bit of a head in regards to her missing so much work the past couple of months and a meeting scheduled for Thursday. There was some massive panicking and despair on her part. I made some phone calls, she talked to some ( Read more... )

► My god, I was completely burned out this morning. For the past year I have become used to going out just once a week, sometimes less than that. Having to leave the apartment 3 days out of the past 6 I've felt really anxious and drained, and worrying about going out today was wearing on me. As per my usual ritual, I fasted yesterday so I ( Read more... )

► I took the garbage outside this morning and it's actually not too bad out right now (we're currently in a heat wave). Not too bad outside, cause inside the apartment it's sweltering. There's a slight breeze but it's coming from the North and we don't have any windows facing that direction. The cat seems fine and I keep checking his water dish ( Read more... )

► These weekend depression and anxiety spells are getting annoying. Hard to relax or sleep when your heart keeps pounding and you keep thinking of your loneliness. Eh, hell with that self pity crap.

► Last month Facebook introduced a new flash game called Marvel: Avengers Alliance. I only just found out about it a couple of weeks ago when my ( Read more... )

► My nerves are getting worse, worrying about having to finally go out on Thursday. My pulse has been racing all day, I've been panicky, and my vertigo seems to be back (although still relatively mild). I'll probably feel a hell of a lot better once I get through the outing and errands on Thursday, but getting there will be murder since I'm ( Read more... )

► Today ended up being a shockingly stressful day when it absolutely had no reason to be ( Read more... )

► While I only managed to get 2 hours of sleep, I made it through my shopping excursion with Dad today. As usually the massive anxiety and nausea built up over the two weeks since I last left the apartment fizzled once I was actually away. We actually ended up going more places than expected, first to the grocery store, Walmart, my grandmother's ( Read more... )

► I've long suspected I'm falling apart, but it seems to be worse lately. For the past several days I've had a weird tingling ache in the muscles on the left side of my back. They feel perpetually tensed. In addition to that last night after waking up from a nap I found I have some sore cankers far back on my tongue. Hopefully both problems ( Read more... )

► Another week done, another week where Dean didn't work. I'm alternating between worrying about her losing her job and us losing the apartment, and just being so tired of it all that I don't give a shit now. She just seems to be stuck in a self propelled spiral where she keeps missing because of her moods due to her bipolar disorder, but also ( Read more... )

► Yeah, yeah, yeah... I always worrying and build things up worse than they end up being. That's why they're called anxiety disorders ( Read more... )