I used to be very prolific in my poetry. Lately though I seem to have been losing my creative spark. Or maybe I have been able to express myself differently through my photography and knitting. All I know is that it's almost two years I think since the last time I've actually written a poem. I even put the goal to write 10 poems on my 101 list ( Read more... )

I was going through some boxes in my closet the other day and I found a stack of papers I thought I had lost. They were print-outs that I had made of my first website I had put together bay in 2000 after teaching myself HTML. One of the pages that I had but together back then was a little essay I wrote on being gay. I had written it about the ( Read more... )

I know I haven't written much of anything lately, but maybe it's because I've felt I haven't had much to write about lately except the same old stuff. I've told myself that I needed to post, but just could never bring myself to post. Lately though I've been in da funks. . .and have also found myself tearing up at the smallest things. I just ( Read more... )

Today is my 2 year sero-anniversary. Basically two years ago today I was sitting in a hospital bed after having knee surgery for a staph infection and was told that I am HIV+. It was shortly after that time that I was determined to celebrated my life every year around my birthday because these two dates were so close together. For two years now ( Read more... )

I've not been sleeping well lately. I try to go to sleep at a decent hour, I'm tired and I lay down, but I'm not able to actually sleep. I'm constantly up and down. Though I can't actually sleep until 1, 2, 3 o'clock in the morning. Yet like clockwork I'm up at 8:30. Sometimes I can go back to sleep, most times not. And it's beginning to ( Read more... )

Right now it is about 9:30 pm EST and I am sitting on the futon watching History Channel and taking my nightly medications ( Read more... )

I know that I haven't really posted anything lately aside from my Twitter posts. Mainly that's because nothing has really changed in my life. I'm still jobless, I'm still without health insurance, I still have HIV, and I'm still slowly dying. Honestly I don't really know where I'm going anymore with my life. Am I having a crisis of faith? ( Read more... )

For the past week (and still to this day really) I've been in a very dark place in my life mentally. I don't really know if I can even talk about it. It's not only the HIV, the HIV is only ever really a small part of it. I am 34 years old and really I feel like I'm a total failure in my life. I don't have a job. There are people out there ( Read more... )

I was first introduced to this song not long ago via jjirish79's Friday Musical Quotes. The lyrics he posted hit me deeply and I had to download the song. Upon listening to the original from the cast album, I was hooked. I was told recently that I was having a crisis of faith, a crisis of the soul. And maybe I am. All I know is that this song, every ( Read more... )

So far most of you know that 2007 was not my best year. I know that there has been positive things in my life, but it seems that the negative has been a constant weight upon my shoulders, that it makes the positives hard to see. It seems for even a little positive, negatives are there to overshadow them all. I can just pray that this next year ( Read more... )