I never thought I would get here, sadly, but I fortunately have: I've finally reached the point wherein I love Doron so much that when I'm in a shitty mood or when he does something that annoys me, I am not compelled to leave. It might be a small victory for some, but it's huge for me. I'm in a realm completely novel to me, and now I'm onto dealing ( Read more... )

I'm a little terrified right now. It's my experience that happiness in life comes in waves. I'm riding the upward wave, and it's terrifying me. Work is going well and my social life is thriving. I feel confident in myself; I am working out six days a week and my skin is looking pretty good. I keep making new friends, and my current friends and I ( Read more... )

I'm not sure why I even let myself date. What is the point in doing this to myself? Every time I like a guy I date, I become completely neurotic and obsessive about him. For instance, Mason. I had a great date with him last night, but during which I feel I spoke too much about random things, and I don't know if I succeeded in making a good ( Read more... )

I'm sitting in the dining area of my new apartment in Williamsburg. The birds are chirping. There's a light autumn breeze breathing through the window. I just finished breakfast ( Read more... )

Neurotic, for me, means caring too much. I suppose I'm neurotic in a positive way about John. I wouldn't ordinarily call it "positive," except that upon extreme self-psychoanalysis, I've decided that it's more positive to wonder if John feels the same way about me, than to wonder if I feel the same way about John. And I feel the same way about John ( Read more... )

I'm doing my course right now. These past few days have been bizarre. I miss John, and then I'm filled with this dull sense of unhappiness that has nothing to do with him; I've realized that I feel like this with or without him, that it's not because of him.

You know those driving thoughts in the back of your mind that are never loud enough to ( Read more... )