What is with language books and pronunciation? Teach Yourself Butt kind of books always make language way more complicated than it actually is. We have an old Swedish textbook lying around and there are like 4 different symbols for a short E sound. And they have descriptions like "something between i and a, with a little bit of p and a half stop ( Read more... )

1. I just finished reading The Lost World and now I want to go hunt dinosaurs in the jungle. This is my admittedly poorly-thought-out plan for the future. I'll flesh out the details later.

2. Nevermind, it's just two things.

Happy birthday, Lard! She's 2 years old now. Celebrating one year of knocking things over and eating string!

We attract cats. We attract even more cats with cat food on the back porch. There are at least four different ones out there, not counting the opossum. The first was a sleek little brown kitty I named Medina. I haven't seen her in a while but she's sneaky. The second is small and fluffy with grey and black fur and a squeaky meow. I don't have ( Read more... )

So, the esteemed Doctor Banana thinks I have mitral valve prolapse. Apparently it's really common. But nonetheless COMPLETELY DEBILITATING. I have an echocardiogram on Friday and I see heart specialist on Valentine's (awww). If it is that and they offer surgery, I'm totally taking the surgery. The only other treatment options are beta blockers ( Read more... )

The username for my (useless) second livejournal should be:

Firing Squid
Stoner Food Run
Waves of Pants

I can't decide.

At the hippy food store I got a new plant food with microorganisms. It doesn't have the bacteria I was looking for in it, but it has about 6 others. Yes, I'm purchasing bacteria. I wish I could just cough into the dirt ( Read more... )

For those of you who missed my last episode of dumbassery, yesterday I almost passed out and then had deep muscle spasms for the next 30-40 minutes. Mom and Dad and I all went to the doctor and it happened again to a lesser extent in the waiting room. And like the pussy I suddenly am, I almost passed out (minus the heart pounding and spasms) ( Read more... )

For whatever reason, I receieved a set of three books on feng shui for Christmas. My room is neither feng nor shui. I guess there's room for improvement? Some comedy gems include ( Read more... )

I got a letter from Keystone today that said they'd nominated me for the Delta Epsilon Tau Society of Excellence and Integrity and Words Like That, I Forget The Real Name Of It (But Greek Letters Make You Look Smart!). Otherwise known as DETSEIWLTIFTRNOI(BGLMYLS!). From what I can gather, it's to honor the excellence, flatulence, and dissonance ( Read more... )