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[theapostleinme]

We attract cats. We attract even more cats with cat food on the back porch. There are at least four different ones out there, not counting the opossum. The first was a sleek little brown kitty I named Medina. I haven't seen her in a while but she's sneaky. The second is small and fluffy with grey and black fur and a squeaky meow. I don't have a name for that one yet. Mom and dad have seen a beige gimpy kitty missing one back leg that I'm calling House. The last one showed up last night while we were playing Prince of Persia and started howling for food. Good god, that cat. I thought it was a dying child. I looked out the back window and saw a Lard-patterned kitty sitting calmly at the foot of the steps. I'm going to feed them the rest of the Whiskas. It makes Lard's shit smelly and orange. They'll probably shit in my garden in revenge.

Last night I had a dream that was a strange marriage of Hackers and Prince of Persia. I was a boy trying to win the hand of the 1337 Pr1n(355 by finding some kind of fountain of youth. It was such a pain in the ass that there was only one other adventurer competing against me. I reached the fountain first and he tried to break my arm but then thought better of it and said "Hey, do you wanna do buttsex?" so I said "Um, okay. Later though. I'm kind of busy." "Yeah, sure." I got the 1337 Pr1n(355, he got buttsex, everyone's happy.

I needs ideas for a necklace/bracelet holder. I have too many meaty bracelets to cram into containers.