For whatever reason, I receieved a set of three books on feng shui for Christmas. My room is neither feng nor shui. I guess there's room for improvement? Some comedy gems include
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"Simply saying a prayer or a mantra over a bowl of water has been proven to change the molecular structure of the water. Yelling or saying angry words over the same bowl of water will make it lose its crystalline structure."
Proven by WHO? The hobo on the corner?
This entry is wonderful. I also love that knives must be treated with respect. No shit, my friend.
it's sad that I know this, but there was this Japanese scientist that did some reaserch on this. I don't think it's all that true, though, because he froze the water before he yelled at it. There's a little blip about it in What the Bleep Do We Know?
Grandma buys you that same ugly sweater every goddamn year, so it's great revenge-uh, chi- to remind that bitch she's not getting any younger! Take that grandma-I mean, evil spirits!
You are hilarious, my dear. Despite all of those robots,you got some awesome gifts. I'm going shopping for you and Jess this weekend, so hopefully we can get together again.
LMFAO. OMG. I love your entries so much. They light up my friends page.
If your kitchen is in need of more Metal to balance the Water element, avoid actually sticking knives into your body. It could obstruct the flow of chi. *dying* I love that. The knife is a solitary beast - it prefers to roam alone and not in packs.
*dying* Yelling at water. That's the best mental image. I love the bit about molecular structures being CHANGED by PRAYER. Suddenly, my water just turned into liquid nitrogen! Stick your face in that, Feng Shui Bitch!
I think your pears are molding and bruised. That doesn't say anything good about the way you treat your spouse. -D
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Proven by WHO? The hobo on the corner?
This entry is wonderful. I also love that knives must be treated with respect. No shit, my friend.
*GWARR*
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That's just cheating. The power of your voice ALONE needs to be able to produce such stirrings in the water that its protons double in number!
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You are hilarious, my dear. Despite all of those robots,you got some awesome gifts. I'm going shopping for you and Jess this weekend, so hopefully we can get together again.
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We should do that.
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If your kitchen is in need of more Metal to balance the Water element, avoid actually sticking knives into your body. It could obstruct the flow of chi. *dying* I love that. The knife is a solitary beast - it prefers to roam alone and not in packs.
*dying* Yelling at water. That's the best mental image. I love the bit about molecular structures being CHANGED by PRAYER. Suddenly, my water just turned into liquid nitrogen! Stick your face in that, Feng Shui Bitch!
I think your pears are molding and bruised. That doesn't say anything good about the way you treat your spouse. -D
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Those pears are sneaky. I think time is different for pears.
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