Christmas Blues

[speakscanadian]

"You have got to be kidding me."

That had been Ray's initial reaction anyway. Nearly five minutes later and his language had turned a bit more colorful. He'd tackled the mistletoe methodically, trying to rip it away so it would let him loose but he was still caught beneath it, looking like a prized idiot most probably. It was pretty much the end of

Comments

[bulletrained]

Riza had been doing her best to ignore the loud, angry man caught beneath the mistletoe. Dealing with the Colonel and the likes of Major Armstrong had given her practice, but this person had a peculiar talent for being incredibly annoying. He was making it very hard for her to concentrate on her reading.

She looked up finally when he voiced his threat, making sure that their eyes met before she looked down again so he could get the full effect of her expressionless disdain.

"How exactly are you going to do that while stuck?" she asked evenly, paging through her book as though bored.

[speakscanadian]

"I have a photographic memory," Ray warned, squinting his eyes so he could get a good look at her nose. Once it was imprinted in his mind, he reached up at tug at the mistletoe some more. "I can find 'em and book 'em when I'm free."

If he ever got free.

[bulletrained]

It was probably a bluff -- he struck Riza as the kind of person who believed the louder he shouted a lie, the more believable it became. She could easily go read elsewhere and he probably would not recognize her again; her appearance was not remarkable.

But there was the chance that he wasn't bluffing, and he also seemed like he could be petty enough to follow through on his threat.

Riza sighed softly. Closing her notes, she stood and walked over to where the man was trapped, making sure to stop just out of reach.

"Your badge, please." She could at least double check his power to make a threat.

[speakscanadian]

"You can see it from there," Ray countered, holding up the badge for her to see. He wasn't stupid enough to hand it over to any Tom, Dick or Harry. "Detective First Grade, Chicago PD. IPD now."

[asher_talos]

Follow an annoying voice, find an annoying human being. Mostly, Asher had been curious to know just who Ray was harassing this time, since he'd obviously managed to escape it that time. It was what he seemed to do best, after all. With no real crime to fight on a regular basis, he just made it up, and apparently his target was entire rooms of people now.

"So you do have one of those." Asher said as he eyed the badge, standing a safe distance away in the hallway. "Find it at the bottom of a cereal box?"

[speakscanadian]

After being snubbed the week before, Ray wasn't in a very forgiving mood when it came to Asher. From unsuccessfully wooing to being walked away from, his pride couldn't take many more blows for a while.

"You can keep going," Ray told him, lowering his badge almost protectively. "And I don't mean with the unfunny jokes."

[asher_talos]

"In case it didn't sink in last time, you're not exactly in charge of my comings and goings," Asher responded pointedly. It wasn't as if he'd been going out of his way to do the exact opposite of anything Ray said, it just seemed to work out that way naturally.

"And I thought it was funny."

[speakscanadian]

I can't take it
What am I waiting for?

Ray wasn't even in charge of his own comings and goings right now, so Asher's comment didn't surprise him. He strained against whatever was keeping his feet stuck to the ground and let out a long groan of frustration when it had absolutely no impact.

I'm still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before

"Then your sense of humor is impaired," he bit out, his mood plummeting despite the deep breaths he was taking to try and keep himself calm.

I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you

"And so is yours!" Ray shouted at the jukebox, fists balled at his sides and his face getting a reddish tint.

[deputyjo]

Jo looked up from the magazine she was reading and stared at the guy like he'd just lost his mind - well in her mind he had because really? He was trying to threaten her and the others in the room into kissing him?

He really must have lost his mind.

Making a show of swinging her feet up on a coffee table, Jo arched her eyesbrow. "Is that so?"

[speakscanadian]

"Yeah, that's so," he mimicked, a frown creasing his brow. He kept his badge on show in the hope that its influence was just a bit slow kicking in. "What the hell's happened to the season of goodwill?!"

[deputyjo]

"Uh huh." Jo flipped a page in her magazine, obviously not worried about his threats. "I'd like to see you try and arrest me." Maybe she should point out that she was now part of the IPD, but she decided not to, this was more amusing.

"What the hell happened to asking nicely?" she tossed back at him, rising to her feet and hooking her thumbs into her jean pockets.

[speakscanadian]

"Please," Ray enunciated in a childish tone. He was very close to pulling a face at her but had just enough restraint to glare instead. "I don't beg, so I'm drawing the line at that." Not that he could get on his knees anyway.

After a beat, he covered his face with his hands. "Please. There, that was nice."

[dinnerfor1_girl]

Sally approached him and stopped two feet from the man, hands on her hips as she studied him with the default setting she had for all men -- disgust tapered with a hint of attraction and self-loathing. "On what grounds would I even be served with?"

[speakscanadian]

"For obstructing the...for committing...for my grounds, okay?" Ray pointed his badge at her, like it might have special super powers. Mind control ones. "Now d'you wanna go to jail or d'you wanna do a good deed for the day and help a guy out?"

[dinnerfor1_girl]

Sally wasn't convinced. At all. In fact, she might have leaned forward to snatch the badge and study it. Once she was convinced it was real, she handed it back to him and eyed him. "So what exactly am I supposed to do? I don't speak mistletoe."

[speakscanadian]

"What most people do under mistletoe. Play tic-tac-toe and sing marching songs," Ray drawled, giving Sally an impatient look. "You gotta kiss me!"

[colbert_bump]

Guess who completely missed out on all of that yelling? Rev. Fr. Professor Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, Esquire, D.F.A, that's who.

Stephen was just coming in out of the cold, full of the kind of cheer he was only full of around this time of year. Even though he wasn't home with his wife and kids and servants and money, he still appreciated the month of cold weather.

It was a little odder than usual out there, but he wasn't too bothered by it.

What he was bothered with, however, was the way he suddenly found himself unable to move. He kept trying, which just managed to shake snow all over Ray's feet. Oh, Stephen hadn't even noticed him there.

"This better not be what I think it is."

[speakscanadian]

"Oh my God," Ray whined, tipping his head back and imploring the heavens. Why couldn't a hot woman have walked underneath instead? That, he could have worked with. "Keep your snow to yourself!"

[colbert_bump]

Why couldn't a hot woman be stuck under there?! Because dammit, it was what Stephen thought it was. He had managed to avoid the mistletoe most of the time. Why now? What had he done to deserve this??

"What the Hell are you doing?! Don't you know what this is??" Stephen hissed, pointing up at the plant. It made more snow fall all over them.

[speakscanadian]

"Mistletoe," Ray answered plainly, "and don't take that tone with me. I was here first." Childish, maybe, but still true.