Baptism by Blood
I think to inaugurate this journal, I will be sporking the worst of the worst: Hogwarts Exposed. The first two installments have already been sporked by much more capable hands than mind. The best place to find them is here: Hogwarts Exposed and Hogwarts Too Exposed
This series is the most horrible thing I have ever read. Do not read this if you have any shred of humanity left in you. If you attempt to read it, make sure you have copious amounts of alcohol on hand. Do not attempt to read it unsporked.
In a nutshell, this series is about Harry and Hermione being nudists. There are four fics in the series: Hogwarts Exposed, Hogwarts Too Exposed, Hogwarts Overexposed, and Hogwarts Underexposed.
In Hogwarts Exposed, Harry and Hermione are grown up and teaching at Hogwarts. Ron is a werewolf. Harry and Hermione discover their twu wub and have lots and lots of poorly written sex. Hermione adopts a first year, Caitlin, who was sexually molested by Madam Hooch. There is an obnoxious Mary Sue named Jamie who is a nudist. Soon Caitlin and Hermione are also nudists. There is more sex and lots of "innocent" nudity. There is a villain called "The Great One" and some torture porn. Then more sex and more innocent nudity. Harry and Hermione get married.
In Hogwarts Too Exposed, Harry and Hermione find themselves with even MORE nudist children. They adopt Jamie and her sister Emily (who is, you guessed it, a nudist) because their parents die tragically. They meet another first-year Sue who was sexually abused by her evil stepfather. She is also persuaded to become a nudist. Some bullshit prophecy is made about Salazar Slytherin rising again. Most importantly, there is more poorly written sex and even MORE nudity.
HARRY POTTER: The Boy Who Lived. He teaches DADA and enjoys the company of nude young girls.
HERMIONE GRANGER: So beautiful that everyone loves her and despairs. Apparently has massive knockers. Enjoys nudity. Has no problem with underaged incest.
SEVERUS SNAPE: Lovable Headmaster of Hogwarts. Sex god. Dated Ginny Weasley and her two older sisters. Woobie.
JAMIE ZACHERLY: Mary-Sue extraordinaire. Has even bigger boobs than Hermione. Nudist. Loved by all.
EMILY ZACHERLY: Jamie's obnoxious younger sister. Slytherin. Extremely pushy nudist.
CAITLIN GARRISON: Hermione's adopted daughter. Nudist. No boobs.
KIM THATCHER: Honorary Potter family member. Reluctant nudist. Is described as having a "nice body" when she is ELEVEN.
RON WEASLEY: Werewolf. Not comfortable with nudism, and therefore evil.
SAMANTHA "SAM" BOWMAN: American. Ron's wife. Nudist. Descendant of Salazar Slytherin
TIMMY: Son of Sam and Draco Malfoy. Lives with Sam and Ron. Two. Nudist. Annoying.
EMMA WRONG: Minister of Magic. Shockingly enough, she is evil.
DAMIEN: Her faithful servent. Pines for Hermione, even though she almost bit his weiner off.
MADAM HOOCH: Evil. Also pines for Hermione, but makes do by molesting young girls. Bit Hermione's nipple off.
On to the sporking!
Hogwarts Overexposed: Salazar's Return, by Neil
Chapter One: The Streets of Fort Lauderdale
Chapter Two: An Old Friend
Chapter Three: New Friends
Chapter Four: Listening, But Not Hearing
Chapter Five: Crime and Punishment
Chapter Six: From Heaven to Hell
Chapter Seven: Innocents All
Chapter Eight: The Milk of Life
Chapter Nine: Death Times Two
Chapter Ten: Twists and Turns
Chapter Eleven: Driving the Point Home
Chapter Twelve: Follow the Money Trail
Chapter Thirteen: Day of Reckoning
Chapter Fourteen: The First Casualties of War
Chapter Fifteen: Life Goes On
Chapter Sixteen: The Spider's Web
Chapter Seventeen: Who Said Life Was Fair?
Chapter Eighteen: Second Chance
Chapter Nineteen: The Second Task
Chapter Twenty: See, Hear and Speak No Evil
Chapter Twenty-One: Intimate Contact
Chapter Twenty-Two: Fantastic Island
Chapter Twenty-Three: No Where to Go
Chapter Twenty-Four: Dead or Alive
Chapter Twenty-Five: Missing
Hogwarts Overexposed: Spitefics
Hogwarts Underexposed: A New Girl in Town, by Neil
Chapter One: The Message
Chapter Two: Never Satisfied
Chapter Three: The New Girl
Chapter Four: Half-Truths
Chapter Five: Gone Astray
Chapter Six: Rainy Day Blues
Chapter Seven: Hard Decisions
Chapter Eight: Best Friends
Chapter Nine: Daddy's Little Girl
Chapter Ten: Anything For a Friend
Chapter Eleven: Will the Real Tom Pitt Please Stand Up?
Chapter Twelve: Nothing Personal
Chapter Thirteen: Totally Revealing
Chapter Fourteen: Luna's Gut Feeling
Chapter Fifteen: Snow Angels
Hogwarts Underexposed: Spitefics
This series is the most horrible thing I have ever read. Do not read this if you have any shred of humanity left in you. If you attempt to read it, make sure you have copious amounts of alcohol on hand. Do not attempt to read it unsporked.
In a nutshell, this series is about Harry and Hermione being nudists. There are four fics in the series: Hogwarts Exposed, Hogwarts Too Exposed, Hogwarts Overexposed, and Hogwarts Underexposed.
In Hogwarts Exposed, Harry and Hermione are grown up and teaching at Hogwarts. Ron is a werewolf. Harry and Hermione discover their twu wub and have lots and lots of poorly written sex. Hermione adopts a first year, Caitlin, who was sexually molested by Madam Hooch. There is an obnoxious Mary Sue named Jamie who is a nudist. Soon Caitlin and Hermione are also nudists. There is more sex and lots of "innocent" nudity. There is a villain called "The Great One" and some torture porn. Then more sex and more innocent nudity. Harry and Hermione get married.
In Hogwarts Too Exposed, Harry and Hermione find themselves with even MORE nudist children. They adopt Jamie and her sister Emily (who is, you guessed it, a nudist) because their parents die tragically. They meet another first-year Sue who was sexually abused by her evil stepfather. She is also persuaded to become a nudist. Some bullshit prophecy is made about Salazar Slytherin rising again. Most importantly, there is more poorly written sex and even MORE nudity.
HARRY POTTER: The Boy Who Lived. He teaches DADA and enjoys the company of nude young girls.
HERMIONE GRANGER: So beautiful that everyone loves her and despairs. Apparently has massive knockers. Enjoys nudity. Has no problem with underaged incest.
SEVERUS SNAPE: Lovable Headmaster of Hogwarts. Sex god. Dated Ginny Weasley and her two older sisters. Woobie.
JAMIE ZACHERLY: Mary-Sue extraordinaire. Has even bigger boobs than Hermione. Nudist. Loved by all.
EMILY ZACHERLY: Jamie's obnoxious younger sister. Slytherin. Extremely pushy nudist.
CAITLIN GARRISON: Hermione's adopted daughter. Nudist. No boobs.
KIM THATCHER: Honorary Potter family member. Reluctant nudist. Is described as having a "nice body" when she is ELEVEN.
RON WEASLEY: Werewolf. Not comfortable with nudism, and therefore evil.
SAMANTHA "SAM" BOWMAN: American. Ron's wife. Nudist. Descendant of Salazar Slytherin
TIMMY: Son of Sam and Draco Malfoy. Lives with Sam and Ron. Two. Nudist. Annoying.
EMMA WRONG: Minister of Magic. Shockingly enough, she is evil.
DAMIEN: Her faithful servent. Pines for Hermione, even though she almost bit his weiner off.
MADAM HOOCH: Evil. Also pines for Hermione, but makes do by molesting young girls. Bit Hermione's nipple off.
On to the sporking!
Hogwarts Overexposed: Salazar's Return, by Neil
Chapter One: The Streets of Fort Lauderdale
Chapter Two: An Old Friend
Chapter Three: New Friends
Chapter Four: Listening, But Not Hearing
Chapter Five: Crime and Punishment
Chapter Six: From Heaven to Hell
Chapter Seven: Innocents All
Chapter Eight: The Milk of Life
Chapter Nine: Death Times Two
Chapter Ten: Twists and Turns
Chapter Eleven: Driving the Point Home
Chapter Twelve: Follow the Money Trail
Chapter Thirteen: Day of Reckoning
Chapter Fourteen: The First Casualties of War
Chapter Fifteen: Life Goes On
Chapter Sixteen: The Spider's Web
Chapter Seventeen: Who Said Life Was Fair?
Chapter Eighteen: Second Chance
Chapter Nineteen: The Second Task
Chapter Twenty: See, Hear and Speak No Evil
Chapter Twenty-One: Intimate Contact
Chapter Twenty-Two: Fantastic Island
Chapter Twenty-Three: No Where to Go
Chapter Twenty-Four: Dead or Alive
Chapter Twenty-Five: Missing
Hogwarts Overexposed: Spitefics
Hogwarts Underexposed: A New Girl in Town, by Neil
Chapter One: The Message
Chapter Two: Never Satisfied
Chapter Three: The New Girl
Chapter Four: Half-Truths
Chapter Five: Gone Astray
Chapter Six: Rainy Day Blues
Chapter Seven: Hard Decisions
Chapter Eight: Best Friends
Chapter Nine: Daddy's Little Girl
Chapter Ten: Anything For a Friend
Chapter Eleven: Will the Real Tom Pitt Please Stand Up?
Chapter Twelve: Nothing Personal
Chapter Thirteen: Totally Revealing
Chapter Fourteen: Luna's Gut Feeling
Chapter Fifteen: Snow Angels
Hogwarts Underexposed: Spitefics