Hogwarts Overexposed: Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
The First Casualties of War
"Aren't you coming?" Jamie shouted as she made to run for the castle. My brain went to a bad, bad place. Thanks, Neil.
"I want to talk to Evan first," Caitlin said, indicating the diminutive first year Gryffindor boy that was standing nearby. Evan already appeared to be soaked to the skin by the heavy rain.
Caitlin and Evan exchanged quick looks and then both sprinted toward the bomb shelter to escape the massive anti-Sue missiles of the nearby building. They didn't speak until the door had closed behind them.
"My socks and trainers are soaked," Caitlin complained, as she led the way to the girls' locker room.
"I can't go in there," Evan said shyly, pointing to the sign on the door.
"Don't be ridiculous," Caitlin said, grabbing his hand and pulling him through the door. "No one is here but you and I."
BAD TOUCH, EVAN. RUN AWAY!
"But what if someone catches me in the girls' changing room?" Evan pleaded.
"They won't," Caitlin said reassuringly. "You and I are the only two people crazy enough to be dating despite the massive difference in maturity levels out of the castle in this weather."
Caitlin sat on a nearby bench and began to remove her trainers and socks.
"How come your costume didn't get wet?" Evan asked. "My clothes are sodden." Sodden? Really? Even I didn't talk like this at eleven, and I had a good vocabulary.
"That's because I don't actually have the costume on, it's in reality only a concealment charm. Watch!" Caitlin said, canceling the charm. And EMILY is the exhibitionist? Look Caitlin, I'm happy that you called her out on her disgusting behavior, but this just makes you look like a hypocrite.
Evan suddenly found himself looking at a very wet, very naked Caitlin. He had become accustomed to seeing her nude, but this was the first time he had ever been alone with her when she was naked. The fact that her body glistened from the rain made him even tenser.
I CAN HEAR THE FAPPING AGAIN MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.
"I've got the chills," Caitlin said. Well, maybe if you weren't running around NAKED in the RAIN, you wouldn't be. I hope you die of hypothermia, you twit. "I'm going to take a quick hot shower," she said, nodding toward the adjoining open room.
"I'll go wait outside," Evan said uncertainly. Poor kid is CLEARLY uncomfortable with where this is going.
"If you want," Caitlin said, seemingly bemused. "It seems rather silly though. You see me nude in the common room every day of the week and I'm sitting here now completely starkers. It would be ridiculous for you to leave just because I'm going to take a shower." Well, depending on the context, nudity can be more or less erotic.
For the first time since entering the changing rooms, Caitlin really looked at Evan. He was trembling uncontrollably because he just realized he was about to be molested by a Sue of his cold wet clothes. "You should get out of those clothes so that I can do a drying charm on them," Caitlin suggested. "It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to also take a good hot shower."
Evan shivered. "Maybe I should," he said, starting to head for the door with the intention of going to the boys' locker room.
"I don't have a problem with you staying here," Caitlin said. Well, maybe HE is the one with the problem with it, you self-centered assclam. "There is plenty of room and honestly I'd rather not be alone. Of course, I'll understand if you'd rather not have me see you naked."
Evan was knocked for six. You're still not fooling us, Neil. A goddess had just asked him to shower with her. Well, not actually shower together in the usual sense. They wouldn't, of course, be washing each other, Oh, I wouldn't count on it but they would be in the same room.
This was the type of fantasy teenage boys often dreamed of. Here he was, not even twelve and about to.... Could he actually do this? Could he really expose his little boy body to this beautiful girl?
As if able to read his mind, Caitlin took Evan's hand in hers. "Being a nudist has a lot of advantages," she said. "I've seen a multitude of men and boys naked. Nudity to me is really no big deal. I've also learned that physical appearance is only part of the package. Actually it's only the outer wrapping; what's inside is of much greater importance."
Evan blushed as he listened to Caitlin. He was ashamed of himself. Although he truly liked Caitlin, he had been placing a great deal of emphasis on her physical appearance. There is nothing wrong with finding people attractive. I'm going to guess that Neil is one ugly sonofabitch. Caitlin, on the other hand, seemed to place a much greater weight on character. She'd already judged him on what she considered was important. Without actually saying it, she had just told Evan that she wasn't about to judge him on his muscularity or penis size. Well, good, seeing as how he is ELEVEN YEARS OLD. And I can't imagine that penis size matters at all, unless you are planning on having sex with someone.
"I'd like to stay here with you, if you're sure it's all right," he said nervously.
"I'm sure that some people would find it very disturbing and improper," Caitlin said, "but those same people would probably consider anything involving nudity as dirty." Caitlin gave Evan a smile. "I'm not getting any warmer standing here talking. If you're going to join me for a nice hot shower, hurry and get out of those wet clothes."
No, I didn't miss the implication that anyone who has a problem with Caitlin/Evan is a dirty, dirty prude. Fuck you, Neil.
Evan would never know where he acquired the courage, that's not courage, it's peer pressure but he immediately sat down and started removing his trainers and socks. Then he stood and removed all his outer clothing until nothing remained but his boxers. He didn't even look to see whether Caitlin was watching; instead, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and slid them quickly to the floor. When he opened his eyes, Caitlin was dead.
Caitlin reached out and grasped his hand tightly. "You better hold on to my hand if you intend on keeping your eyes shut," she giggled, as she led him into the shower room.
They took spaces next to each other and at first both just stood, enjoying the warm water flowing over their naked bodies. Then Evan watched spellbound as Caitlin lathered her entire body with soap. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH
"Since you're just standing there gawking, would you mind scrubbing my back?" Caitlin asked, a genuine smile on her face. ALKJWHEUTHEWNITVUEWIIEWLVIERVTILRCTIURVLNTIRATCIMREVREFSJD
Evan stuttered incoherently in response.
"I'll take that as a yes." Caitlin said turning her back to Evan.
"Just my back and only from the shoulders to the waist," she instructed in a mock menacing way. "I don't want to have to hurt you."
As Evan gently applied a deadly toxin soap to Caitlin's back, he envisioned what it would be like to reach around and touch her breasts. He suppressed these desires realizing that Caitlin's friendship was worth much more to him than a quick feel.
After Caitlin rinsed her back, she offered to scrub Evan's. He declined, not sure whether he could withstand such intimacy.
OK, I'm going to make another wild guess here and say that when Neil was 10 or 11, he had a MAD crush on an older girl. Because this reads more like wish fulfillment than anything Stephenie Meyer ever crapped out.
After toweling off, they both returned to the locker room. "Evan, can I discuss something with you?" Caitlin asked, placing her towel on one on the benches and then sitting down on it.
Caitlin gives him the "let's just be friends" talk. What a cocktease. Oh, and then she asks him to go with her to the not!Yule ball. Bitch.
* * * * *
Ginny is preggers! Madam Pomfrey discovers the gender by sticking her wand up Ginny's vagina. Nope, still not making any of this up. It's a girl. I find it a little implausible that they can tell the gender when Ginny JUST conceived, but hey, I guess it's magic! External genitalia don't start to develop until about week 8, but maybe the spell can detect chromosomes or something?
* * * * *
After depositing Ben in the snake pit with Sam and Ron, they hastened to the Headmaster's office. Harry promptly gave the password to the stone gargoyle. He and Hermione reached the top of the spiraling staircase just as Tonks and Shacklebolt finished removing their rain gear. Rain gear? Wouldn't wizards have SPELLS for that kind of thing? One look at the solemn expressions on the Aurors' faces, and they knew that this most definitely wasn't a social call.
Snape gestured for everyone to be seated. "What is this visit concerning?" he asked, scrutinizing the Aurors.
"As you know, at the last meeting of the Order of the Phoenix, Harry asked Tonks and I ME! to be on the lookout for anything suspicious; anything that might point to Salazar Slytherin recruiting followers," Kingsley stated. "This morning The Magical Law Enforcement Patrol was contacted by an elf, reporting that her masters had been killed. Tonks and I decided to tag along. We hadn't seen any dead bodies for a while, and were really missing that part of the job."
The parents were killed by Slytherin and their youngest daughter was decapitated. This is supposed to show us that Slytherin is WAAAAY more evil than Voldemort, but I'm not buying it. Voldemort probably would have set Greyback on the kid in front of the parents or something.
Anyway, they are the family of Doris Burke. Hermione gasps in horror, so I'm guessing this is supposed to have some significance.
* * * * *
Blah blah blah. They tell Doris what happened. She says that when she graduates, she'll be forced to join, too. You know, I would think that Slytherin would want more willing followers.
* * * * *
SNIP. Harry and Snape go into Doris's memory of getting a letter from her parents about being forced to join Slytherin.
"I saw you and Tyler sitting together at the practice session," Kim taunted.
"We weren't sitting together." Emily corrected her. "We were simply sitting beside each other."
Kim looked skeptically at Emily. "Would you mind explaining the difference?"
"You have a propensity to use the word 'together' to indicate a relationship," Emily answered sharply. "We did not go to the practice session as a couple and we did not sit together. I arrived first and initially sat alone. When Tyler arrived, he politely asked if he could sit and talk with me. I graciously said yes. Oh, how GRACIOUS of you to allow him to be in your wondrous presence. Don't try to make more of it than there was."
"You can gloss over it if you like," Kim persisted, "but when it started to rain; the two of you were sitting so close that I couldn't have wedged a Knut between you."
Emily blushed. "Tyler was just being nice and sharing his robes. I was only covered by the concealment charm and I got rather cold when it began to rain." Well then, whose fault is that? And how is she sooo freezing from being naked in the rain, but frolics around naked in the SNOW?
Kim shook her head and then looked skyward at the Hellfire missiles streaking towards them. "What are you trying to do, drive the poor boy crazy? You refuse to be his girlfriend, you refuse to go to the Yule Ball with him, but you let him hold you in his arms when you are totally starkers." Kim lowered her head and continued to shake it in frustration. "Tyler is probably suffering from a massive case of 'blue balls' as we speak."
"Suffering from what?" Emily asked innocently. Emily hasn't done anything "innocently" since the day she exited her mother's vagina, probably touching her inappropriately on the way out.
It was Kim's turn to blush. "I'm a few chapters ahead in our sex education book," she confessed.
"How many?" Emily asked.
"I finished it last night," Kim admitted. "Anyway, 'blue balls' is a term used to describe the condition that occurs when a guy gets extremely aroused but doesn't get to ejaculate. Wasn't their book supposedly written in the middle ages? "Blue balls" is a colloquialism, and I doubt it goes back that far. It goes away fairly quickly, but can be extremely uncomfortable for a time."
"Why are you looking at me that way?" Emily asked. "I didn't tell him to have a stiffy. What was I suppose to do about it, masturbate him to orgasm?" Oh, well, how about NOT SNUGGLING UP AGAINST HIM WHILE NAKED?
"Of course not. But it's cruel to lead him on and continually build up his hopes," Kim said. "Why don't you reconsider and go to the Yule Ball with him?"
"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't," Emily said resolutely although Kim was sure she caught a hint of regret in Emily's eyes. "We both have dates. He's going with Denise and I'm.... Well, my invitation was accepted."
"Emily! I thought we were best friends?" Kim questioned. "When are you going to tell me who you asked to the Ball?"
Emily hesitated. She wanted to share her secret with someone, but she couldn't risk the information getting back to Harry and Hermione. Oh, even if they did know, I'm sure they'd cave to your wishes eventually since you are SPOILED ROTTEN. She was worried about their reaction.
"If I say who I'm taking, will you swear not to tell a soul?" Emily asked.
"Do I really have to answer that?" Kim asked. "After all we've been through, I'd hope you'd know that you can trust me with any secret."
Emily took a deep breath. "I asked Roger."
"Roger, as in Roger Fortescue?" Kim asked. "The jerkoff... ahh -- clerk from the ice cream shop in Hogsmeade. But isn't he over twenty?"
"It doesn't matter," Emily said defensively. "Headmaster Snape said that we could invite Hogwarts graduates as our dates." Yeah, I think if Snape were headmaster he would take more pleasure in canceling the Ball. Remember the rosebushes in GoF? He's a sadistic motherfucker, and I love him for it.
"I kind of think he meant that more for a seventh year to invite someone who only left school last year. I doubt he meant for a second year to invite a twenty year old," Kim exploded.
"Well, he didn't say we couldn't," Emily said haughtily. "Besides what's the big deal about eight years age difference? Wizards often marry witches much more than eight years their junior."
"Something like that is looked upon much differently once both parties are past legal age and considered adults," Kim declared. "It just isn't right for an adult to want to date a minor."
"Are you saying I look like a little girl?" Emily protested. IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOUR BOOBS WERE MAGICALLY ENHANCED TO MAKE YOU LOOK OLDER. YOU ARE STILL TWELVE.
"No! Not at all! Actually, I think your figure is going to rival Jamie's in a few more years. It's just that...." Kim shilly-shallied; she was not quite sure how to proceed. "If Roger wants to take you out because of your physical attributes, that makes the situation even worse. He shouldn't be thinking about you like that."
"Don't you consider that double standards?" Emily asked. "You were just defending and feeling sorry for Tyler because I gave him a douse of 'blue balls', but if Roger gets a stiffy looking at me, he's a pervert." YES, YES HE IS. TYLER IS YOUR AGE. ROGER IS NOT.
"No, he's not a pervert if he gets slightly aroused looking at you," Kim clarified. Oh, I beg to differ. My husband is just a couple years older than Roger, and if he was getting turned on by a twelve-year-old, I'd be worried. So would he. "He's human and you're attractively appealing. He's only a pervert if he keeps looking and takes actions on his desires."
"In that case you are prejudging him," Emily affirmed. "Roger has never touched me or even said anything out of line. Oh yeah? How about offering free ice cream for a strip show? How about asking you if you went both ways? He's always been a perfect gentleman around me. You should read his response to me. He was absolutely thrilled that I asked him. Roger is so happy in fact, that he offered to buy me a dress for the occasion; not just any dress, but an original from the House of Gayee in Paris. I had to send them a whole bunch of measurement since I can't go for a fitting. He even wanted my shoe size."
"Maybe, I'm judging him wrong," Kim admitted. "Originals from a Paris fashion house can be very pricey; he must genuinely like you, because buying gifts for someone is a sign of true love, not CHILD GROOMING. It was wrong of me to prejudge and categorize him." Kim thought for a while. "I can't remember where, but I think I've heard of the House of Gayee."
"Then you promise not to tell anyone?" Emily asked nervously.
"As long as you promise to let me be the first to see the dress when it arrives," Kim said. "Speaking of which, how are you going to explain that you don't need a dress for the Ball?"
"I told Mum that in order to cut down on expenses, I was wiling to wear Jamie's dress from two years ago. She said that it wasn't necessary, but I convinced her that I loved the dress and really wanted to wear it." Wow, what a lying little bitch. I would LOVE for her to spend some time with some parents who are actually DECENT at parenting.
"The Slytherin in you is showing, as are your genitals" Kim replied. "Exactly how do you intend to keep Roger a secret? Won't they ask who is taking you?"
"They already have and I told them I was going with Mr. Fortescue's son," Emily answered. "I think they assumed that I meant Darryl who is a fourth year in Ravenclaw." And they wouldn't wonder that they never heard about him? Never saw the two of you together?
"So what happens when they see you with Roger the night of the ball?" Kim inquired.
"I'm sure I'll be punished, but they won't make a scene at the Ball; they aren't like that. I'm not going to worry about the consequences beforehand; doing that would ruin the evening."
* * * * *
Ron is understandably upset that Draco got Ginny pregnant. He's also apparently had a COMPLETE personality change since the last installment.
* * * * *
The death of Doris's family is SO TRAGIC that Harry and Hermione consider not having sex. The gravity of the situation is really hitting me. Harry wants to induct ALL the Sues into the Order of the Phoenix. They didn't even induct HARRY when he was a fifth year, but they would let Emily and Caitlin in?
Harry brings up the possibility that Draco might have joined Slytherin, which makes sense given that he used to be a DEATH EATER. Hermione won't hear of it and wants to go see him.
"Wait, I'll go with you," Harry called. "Let me take a moment to check the Marauders' Map. We don't want to barge in on Draco and Ginny doing anything kinky. Now if we barge on them having vanilla sex, that would be fine. Besides, don't you think you should slip some clothing on before going any place?"
Hermione blushed, but instead of immediately grabbing her robes she followed Harry to check the map.
"How close are the dots?" Hermione asked.
"Not close at all," he answered. "Ginny is in their quarters, but Draco appears to be at the top of the Astronomy Tower."
"The Astronomy tower?" Hermione repeated questioningly. "Draco's never had any interest in the stars, besides it's still raining."
Harry looked at the map, a horrified expression on his face. "Draco's dot just moved from the middle of the tower to the extreme edge. You don't think he could possibly be considering jumping, do you?"
Harry looked up, waiting for Hermione's answer, but all he saw was her bare arse streaking out the door of their quarters. DUN DUN DUNNNN!
End of chapter fourteen
Chapter Thirteen: Day of Reckoning ~ Table of Contents ~ Chapter Fifteen: Life Goes On