Hogwarts Overexposed: Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
Life Goes On
We open with a "touching" scene of Jamie being "caring." She and Doris are spending the night together in the Room of Requirement. We get lots of talk of how huge her breasts are, and reminders that she and Alex have done the nasty in the Room of Requirement and how special Hermione is for helping her plan her cherry-popping.
* * * * *
"I was hoping Jamie would be here tonight," Caitlin said, climbing into her bed. "Our family orgies just aren't the same without her jugs flying everywhere. I wanted to talk to her about what happened today."
"Is there a reason you can't talk to me?" Emily asked, sounding hurt.
"You mean apart from the fact that you're a self-centered bitch? It's about Evan and you'll just make fun of me," Caitlin responded.
"Why would I make fun of you?" Emily asked. "I think the runt is kind of cute."
"He is not a runt; he's sweet," Caitlin retorted.
"He's a first year and nearly a foot shorter than you."
"Last year at this time you were a first year; or have you forgotten," Caitlin retorted. "At least he's not a perverted cradle robber. You invited that arse, Roger, to the Yule Ball, didn't you?" Ahahaha this is awesome.
"What makes you think that," Emily asked feigning innocence.
"Well, for one thing I happen to know who Darryl Fortescue is actually taking to the Ball and it isn't you," Caitlin said pompously. Pompously? I'm beginning to think that Neil just uses adverbs at random.
Emily looked at Caitlin, panic evident in her eyes. "Please don't tell Mum and Dad," she begged.
"If I did, it would be in your own best interest." Caitlin affirmed. "Mum and Dad are going to kill you when they find out. We can only hope. Besides, all Roger wants is to shag you."
"That's not true," Emily insisted. "He has never even as much as tried to touch me and I seriously doubt he wants to end up in Azkaban for rape. He knows that I'm only twelve."
"Then why on earth is he going out with you?" Caitlin asked.
Emily's eyes became teary. "Am I that awful a person? YES Did you ever consider that maybe he just likes me for me?" Well, if he likes you that much, he can WAIT TILL YOU'RE OLDER TO ASK YOU OUT Emily shook her head in dismay. "Did you ask Evan to the Ball so you could shag him?"
"Of course not," Caitlin proclaimed. "He's just a friend that I'm leading on and molesting to help me get over my ex-boyfriend."
"And I'm not allowed to have friends?" Emily asked, a hurt look on her face. Uh, I didn't think Roger was taking Emily as a friend.
Caitlin looked at the floor and gritted her teeth. "I won't say anything to Mum and Dad, but be careful. You know it's not the same."
Caitlin tells Emily about showering with Evan but insists that it's "nothing sexual." Uh huh. Oh, and then Emily asks if Caitlin "checked out his equipment." WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
* * * * * *
Denise is upset because Emily only started paying attention to Tyler again after she asked him out. I think that's understandable. She theorizes that Tyler only likes Emily because he's seen Emily naked. That's probably true. They talk about how Emily is much more attractive and how guys find it so much hotter when girls are "totally smooth down south." NEWSFLASH: not all guys think the same way, Neil.
* * * * * *
Hermione runs (NAKED) all the way to the Astronomy tower. Draco is going to jump because Slytherin will kill Ginny and their Knut-sized baby if he doesn't join him. I really don't understand Draco's characterization in this story AT ALL. It's really inconsistent. Anyway, Draco grabs Hermione's boobs and then jumps over the edge.
* * * * * *
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
"I hate funerals," Emily said, wiping tears from her eyes. "I'm never going to another one as long as I live. They're too depressing." Hey, Emily, it's not about you. No one LIKES going to funerals (although my uncle's wake was actually tons of fun), but that's not why you go. You go to support the family, you inconsiderate asswipe.
Jamie placed her arm around her sister's shoulder and silently slit her throat. "They are depressing," Jamie agreed. "Even if the person being buried wasn't close to you, it's still disheartening. Funerals bring back memories of those you've lost and remind you just how fragile life is. Regrettably the healthier you are and the longer you live, the more loved ones you'll see put to rest."
"That's a pleasant thought," Emily said, sarcastically. Really? I thought she was saying it sincerely. You're an idiot, Neil.
"I think the private ceremony after dusk tonight will be even more heartrending," Jamie said. "It's one thing for an adult to die, but it seems so unjust for a child to have her life ended before it has even truly begun, especially in such a gruesome way."
"How could anyone cut off somebody's head; it's inhumane?" Emily sobbed. That actually depends on the way it's done. There are MUCH worse ways to go. Personally, I would much rather be beheaded than drowned, suffocated, or burned. Especially if I kept blinking after losing my head and freaked people out.
"Unfortunately in our world there are those that have no respect for life," Jamie said. Some people can as easily kill another human being as you or I could trample on an insect. I doubt that the brute that killed little Hillary even lost a moments sleep over it."
Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. "I thought the atrocities of war were supposed to have ended with Voldemort's defeat. I guess I was wrong."
"I'm afraid evil will always exist in our world," Jamie replied sadly. Yes, evil will always exist as long as the Sues are alive.
- - - - - -
More of the funeral. I think Neil's spending almost as much time on this funeral as he did on Harry and Hermione's wedding.
* * * * * *
They induct Jamie, Doris, Caitlin, and Emily into the Order of the Phoenix. This makes me angry. Draco is also allowed to join. Oh yeah, he didn't die. Something about levitating him or something. I didn't really pay attention, because I was too distracted by his OoCness. He's also going to spy on Slytherin for them.
* * * * * *
Apparently, Sam is such a massive bitch that she would kick Ron to the couch for DARING to oppose Caitlin and Emily joining the Order.
* * * * * *
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Snape decides to do away with House tables and have everyone sit together. Dumbledore was HUGE on house unity, and even he never did something like this. Ugh.
* * * * * *
"Are you nervous about today's training session?" Kim asked as she and Caitlin walked toward the Quidditch Pitch.
"Not really," Caitlin answered, "I can't wait to be naked in front of people again! the way Mr. Simone talked it's just going to be more of those stupid 'get to know you' games. I'm anxious to see what the real challenges will be like."
"Me too. Eager, but nervous at the same time," Kim said.
"I just hope the sun comes out. I'm freezing," Caitlin said. "My goose bumps have goose bumps." What, too good to wear a coat?
"Me too," Kim whispered. "I guess that's a disadvantage of the concealment charm; at least we could have cast a warming charm on the costume."
"Not that it would have done much good. There is hardly any material to cast a warming charm on," Caitlin said with a laugh. "I'll check with Mum. There has to be some sort of warming charm that can be applied to the human body without burning it to a crisp." Yes, I guess it's too much to hope that the Sues are burned alive by a warming charm gone wrong.
"Caitlin, don't look now, but that group of fifth year boys is really checking us out," Kim whispered.
Caitlin laughed. "If they like the view in these costumes, imagine if they could see us as we really are, just socks and trainers." Here's another one of Neil's great lessons: women LOVE it when men objectify them and stare at them!
Kim blushed. "Caitlin, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell a soul."
"Yes, as long as it doesn't involve you performing any unforgivable curses on anybody," Caitlin said with a laugh.
"I can't believe this!" Kim said. "I'm embarrassed to tell you."
"Out with it!"
"Those guys! I'd rather that they had seen me nude then in this decadent outfit," Kim admitted. "I'm ashamed to be seen in this." Decadent? Again, stop picking descriptive words randomly. It doesn't make you look smart.
Caitlin smiled. "It's official," she said. "You're one of us, you're a naturist. You have been assimilated. You've learned that being nude is not dirty or sexual." Caitlin laughed. "But I'm afraid those guys would have had dirty and sexual thoughts no matter how we were dressed." So, since some guys will objectify you no matter what, you might as well be naked? That makes no sense.
"Caitlin, do you have a minute?" Matt asked running up to the two girls. "We need to talk."
"We better hurry," Kim cried. "It looks like they're ready to start."
"Matt, I can't now, we're late, but if you meet me after the session we can talk," Caitlin said sincerely.
Matt nodded his head as Kim and Caitlin both began to sprint toward their teammates.
"Did you see that Eric?" Rishard said in disgust as Kim and Caitlin reached the other Hogwarts champions. "How are they doing it? It should be impossible to run like that without their little tits popping out." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
"I agree," Eric said, frustration evident in his voice, "but they didn't and I suggest you find out why and find it out fast. We are paying you big bucks to delivery us nudity. We can get young girls in scanty costumes at any local beauty pageant. For your sake, there better be some tits and pussy on display today."
So what the public really wants to see is child porn? Is Neil really using a variation on "everybody else is doing it" to justify his disgusting habits?
"There will be, I'm sure there will be," Rishard guaranteed nervously as Eric returned to his seat in the stands.
"Both teams are assembled and ready whenever you are Mr. Simone," Harry said as he approached Rishard.
"Thank you, Harry!" Rishard said. His eyes caressed Harry as they always did, I hate the phrase "his eyes caressed" and it is used WAY too much in this fic but this time his mind seemed preoccupied. Suddenly he seemed to come out of his stupor. "Yes! Yes! Well on with the show."
Rishard drew out his wand, directed it at his throat, and said "Sonorus." Everyone in the stands could now hear his every word. He looked up at the sky.
"Hopefully we'll be able to complete our exercises today without any unwelcome rain," he said with a nervous laugh. "These exercises might seem easy and in some cases silly, but they serve an important purpose. They allow you to get acquainted with your teammates and to provide the author with lots of wank material learn to fully trust them.
They are doing a trust fall. Off raised platforms. Caitlin goes first, and Dick gropes her boobs and tries to finger her. I'm confused about the logistics of that, and also about how NO ONE noticed. Anyway, Jamie threatens to shrink his penis, so he behaves.
Now it is Nora's turn (she is wearing the costume, not using the charm.
Up until now, she had been able to shield her breasts even as she helped catch her teammates. How could she properly leap from the platform and at the same time screen her breasts? For that matter, how could she even climb the ladder?
Nora put her left foot on the ladder and reached up for the rung with her right arm. That was all it took for her right nipple to burst out of hiding. Nora turned crimson as she tucked the offending breast back into the minuscule costume and cowered in a ball at the foot of the ladder.
Rishard for the first time today, displayed his toothy smile. Nora didn't possess the largest or most perfect breasts on either team, wow, you can't stop kissing Jamie's ass for a SECOND, can you? but at this point Mr. Simone was happy for any display of nudity.
"We'll help you up the ladder," Jamie said, placing her arm around Nora.
"How can you do that?" Nora asked, a defeated tone to her voice.
"The ladder isn't that tall," Jamie answered. "Kim and I can hang on either side of the ladder holding the uniform cloth against your body so that your breasts don't pop out. Caitlin can wait at the top of the ladder to help you until you are standing upright."
OK, I had a thought. In this fic, it is possible to shrink and enlarge breasts. Why don't the girls wearing the costume just shrink their boobs temporarily? It would probably make the physical activity a lot less painful, too. The guys could do the same for their genitals, too.
"Then what?" Nora asked.
"Then you have to build up the nerve to jump," Jamie replied. "We'll do our best to conceal you once you're in our arms."
Nora looked at Jamie, desperation evident in her eyes. She couldn't do this, yet she knew she had to do this. She sadly nodded her head in agreement.
Mr. Simone watched crossly as the girls helped Nora successfully negotiate the ladder. He considered protesting, but remembered that this was just training and what they were doing violated no rules. Once Nora was standing upright on the platform, the girls all hurried back to their catching positions.
"You can do this Nora, I know you can," Harry said positively.
"I wish I had your confidence, Professor Potter," Nora answered, visibly shaking. WHY AREN'T HER PARENTS RAISING HELL?
"Just slowly walk to the edge of the platform," Harry encouraged. "Don't look down. I'll tell you when everybody is setup. Then just close your eyes and jump; they'll do the rest. Have faith."
Nora nodded. She had to stop being a coward and become part of the team. I love how the girl who is not confident with nudity is also the girl who is a "coward." Nice moralizing there, Neil. I hate you. Somehow she was able to block from her mind how scantily dressed she was, as she approached the edge of the platform. She stood there, her eyes pressed closed waiting for Harry's signal.
Harry lingered until everybody was ready and looked up at Nora before yelling, "Jump!"
In one quick movement Nora raised her arms and jumped forward and off the platform. As she raised her arms, both breasts burst out of her costume. Nora screamed and brought her arms down to clutch her chest. This had the affect of turning her prone lunge into a roll. She was headed toward the ground headfirst. Dick who was in the front position for this jump panicked to get out of the way and in so doing knocked Kim and Jeff both off balance.
Nora's head, neck and shoulders hit the ground simultaneously with a loud crack. She just lay there seemingly lifeless. I hope she is dead. She is too nice to be in this story. The only escape is death, Nora!
End of Chapter 15
Chapter Fourteen: The First Casualties of War ~ Table of Contents ~ Chapter Sixteen: The Spider's Web