Hogwarts Overexposed: Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
The Spider's Web
At first no one stirred, then as one everybody seemed to rush toward Nora's motionless body.
"Don't touch her!" Harry shouted, his voice filled with trepidation. "She may have broken her neck." He jumped to the ground and hurried to Nora's side. "Caitlin, are you able to diagnose her with just simple contact, without moving her?"
"I'm sure I can," Caitlin said confidently.
"Jamie, will you and the team help me make a circle around them and keep everyone else back?" Harry asked. "And please try to block those photographers from getting any more pictures of her."
There are PHOTOGRAPHERS? At a PRACTICE SESSION? Taking pictures of mostly naked minors?
Caitlin got down on her knees next to Nora and gently placed a hand on each of the older girl's arms. Within seconds they were as one. Sooooo....they had sex? Then as rapidly as she had gone into a trance, it ended and Caitlin smiled.
"Just a broken shoulder and minor concussion," she said with a grin.
"Can you put it right?" Harry asked.
"It's already mended," Caitlin said. "She won't even know that it was broken. I'll bring her around as soon as I make her more respectable." Caitlin hesitantly adjusted Nora's costume so that both her breasts were once again covered, and then prodded the girl lightly with her penis until she opened her eyes.
"What happened?" Nora asked, looking around anxiously.
"You gave us a fright," Caitlin answered, "but you're fine now."
"My breasts!" Nora cried, looking down at her chest. "I felt them burst into flames out of the costume. Did people see them?"
Caitlin didn't lie. "I tucked you back together. Nora, it's not that big a deal. I spent most of the summer totally nude. The fact that YOU are comfortable being naked is completely IRRELEVANT! Geez. Nora is clearly not ok with it. What's important is that you're okay."
Nora looked questioningly at Caitlin who was still holding her hand. "You do realize that I can actually see you as you really are?" she asked. "You're...a Sue."
"I'm sorry," Caitlin said, letting go of Nora's hand. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."
"It didn't make me uncomfortable to see you nude; I'd only be distressed if you saw me that way," Nora explained.
Caitlin shrugged her shoulders. "There was a time I felt like that," Caitlin said, "but now, thanks to brainwashing and extensive peer pressure, I enjoy showing off my naked body to everyone! but before she could elaborate, they were besieged by well-wishers.
* * * * *
Matt kisses Caitlin's ass, so they get back together. But oh no! She already asked Evan to the not!Yule ball! What will she do?
* * * * *
Rishard and Eric meet up, and it turns out that viewers want to see naked children in horrible peril! So Rishard has to engineer things to put them in danger. You know, in the Triwizard Tournament, things were pretty dangerous. But that was just the way it was, not to get "ratings." Not to mention, there were always people standing by to make sure that no one got killed.
* * * * *
Caitlin takes Evan up to her dorm (NAKED) and tells him that she won't be going to the not!Yule ball with him since she's back with Matt. Caitlin's a bitch.
* * * * *
Draco is spying on Slytherin & Minions. I'm guessing this was written before HBP, because supposedly he's just learning Occlumency now.
* * * * *
Ron finds nothing wrong with sucking on Sam's tits while Timmy is around. Geez, no wonder Draco thought he was an unfit parent. Forget the werewolf thing, why didn't they bring this up in the trial?
* * * * *
Evil!Matt has reared his head again and he gets mad at Evan for hanging out with Caitlin. If I were in Matt's position, I'd be pretty pissed off too (although not at Evan). Caitlin dumps him AGAIN.
* * * * *
Apparently, Caitlin being a Hyperempath is HUGE news and she is just SO special. I hate her almost as much as I hate Emily.
* * * * *
Caitlin had thrown herself on the bed in frustration trying to smother herself rage by burying her head in the pillow. Here, use this plastic bag. It will work much better. She thought Matt had changed. Or in truth had she just wanted to believe he had changed? What had made her so desperate to rekindle their relationship?
She anguished for what seemed like hours, desperate to escape reality and enter the world of dreams, but sleep evaded her. Go cry, emo kid. One by one, through her hangings, she heard the voices of her roommates enter the dorm. Finally the room was once again quiet, but still sleep eluded her.
"Are you okay?" asked a high-pitched nervous voice she recognized as Evan's.
"Evan! What are you doing here?" she asked, drawing open her hangings.
"I wanted to see you naked again was worried about you," he said shyly. "You never came back down to the common room. I wanted to make sure you were all right."
Caitlin looked nervously about the dorm, fearful that one or more of her mates might still be awake. "Hurry and climb in here before anyone sees you," she whispered.
"In your bed?" Evan asked, taken aback by the very suggestion.
"Yes," Caitlin insisted. "If any of the others see you, they might mistakenly sound an alarm in panic." Yeah, I would panic if I saw my roommate MOLESTING A PREPUBESCENT BOY.
She wiggled to one side of the bed to make room for Evan. "Evan, there is blood on your face," she said, alarm evident in her voice.
"I'm okay," Evan insisted. "I just got too close to Matt when he reacted to my remark."
"What remark was that?" Caitlin asked.
"I told him that he was a stupid git for losing you a second time," Evan said. Evan's an insufferable little bastard. "I can state for a fact that the truth hurts."
Caitlin leaned into Evan and kissed him gently on the nose. "Are you sure it's not broken? You should have gone to see Madam Pomfrey."
"I don't think it's serious," Evan said without conviction. "Besides, I didn't want to get in trouble for fighting." Evan looked apprehensively at the vision lying next to him. "I better go before I get us both in trouble. I just wanted to check on you."
Caitlin smiled. "You're a rarity. I hope you never change." You don't want him to change at all? Not even to GROW UP? She placed her hand gently on his nose.
"Does that feel better?" she asked.
He smiled, but didn't answer. Instead he just continued to stare at her adoringly.
Caitlin hesitated a moment and then asked, "Evan would you do me a favor before you go? Would you just put your arm around me and hold me for a short time."
"Sure!" Evan answered excitedly as Caitlin nuzzled close to him. He placed his arm around her and trembled as his hand touched her soft bare skin.
* * * * *
Caitlin was awakened from a deep sleep by a voice calling out, "Are you going to sleep all day, Potter? We're going down to breakfast. You better get a move on if you don't want to starve."
Caitlin sighed as she contentedly, slowly opened her eyes. She froze into a block of ice and died painfully. She wasn't alone. There were several Sue Assassins staring down at her, ready to strike. Evan was still lying next to her, his arm draped innocently across her chest, his palm gently touching her breast. Innocently, my ass. For a few minutes she just watched him peacefully sleep. It felt reassuring to have him nestled next to her. She placed her hand on top of his and then, reluctantly moved it off her chest. She continued to hold Evan's hand as she gently kissed his lips. He didn't stir until she tried to part his lips with her tongue and then he woke with a start. HOLY SHIT DID SHE JUST TRY TO GIVE HIM TONGUE WHILE HE WAS ASLEEP?!?!
He looked around, terror filling his eyes. "Did you...touch me while I was asleep? We both fell asleep," he said, guilt and panic both rushing through his body. "I've got to somehow get out of here before anyone finds out I spent the entire night here."
"Relax," Caitlin said reassuringly. "My parents are both child molesters, so they won't mind that I'm one, too. Most of the house is down at breakfast. I know for sure my roommates are." She opened her drapes slightly and peered about the empty room. "Let me quickly check the staircase and common room." Caitlin scampered out the door and returned in a few moments, bleeding from a mortal wound in her side.
"Hurry," she said. "The common room is empty. If you scurry down now, no one will be any the wiser." Evan quickly followed Caitlin down the stairs and safely to the common room. "Evan, I'm going to take a quick shower and slip on some clothes. Will you wait and go to breakfast with me? There is something important I want to talk to you about."
Evan says he wouldn't mind if other boys saw her naked, and we get lots more moralizing on how oppressive it is to make people wear clothes. I think he and Caitlin are dating now. I'm going to vomit.
* * * * *
Thursday, November 24, 2005
They are celebrating Thanksgiving. At Hogwarts. Snape acts even less Snapey than I previously thought possible. Oh, and apparently any weight that Emily gains goes straight to her boobs.
* * * * *
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Blah blah blah. Neil rips off the breakfast scene from Sorcerer's Stone (when Harry is too nervous to eat before his first Quidditch game). I hope JK Rowling beats you to death with a pile of money, Neil. Nora has Jamie do the concealment charm on her because she doesn't want her parents to see her like that. Maybe if they saw her popping out of her top, they would PROTEST THIS like they should.
As they left the locker room, they were met by the American contingent and both teams marched out toward the Quidditch pitch.
"Here come our contenders," Rishard Simone announced in his magically magnified voice. "I could have been one, you know." The crowd burst into horrified gasps as they saw the horribly inappropriate costumes their children had been forced to wear, and the competition was immediately canceled cheers as the two teams entered the pitch and then lined up on either side of Rishard.
In the middle of the pitch were two identical structures separated by about fifty feet. The buildings could best be described as looking like two very large garages, minus both their rollup doors and roofs.
"This game is called the spider's web," Rishard announced. "Since both teams are at their full strength, I think we'll allow the alternates to play as well."
Rishard made this sound like he was playing Santa Claus by giving out special treats, but Nora didn't look at all pleased.
"We have to participate too?" she moaned quietly, seemingly horrified at the prospect. "I thought we'd only take part in the events if one of the regulars were sick."
"Now, then," Rishard continued. "The rules are rather straightforward. Once the teams have entered the corrals, the entrances will each be covered with a web. The web itself is about ten feet across and six feet high. . There is no way around the web; the only way out of the enclosure is through it.
"The web will be a classic spider's web with large holes on the sides and spiraling smaller toward the center. Oh, thanks. I had NO IDEA what a spider's web looked like. Each person on the team must pass through a hole of the web. The challenge is the order of the people going though, as well as not touching the web while being passed though. If the web is touched, that section will close up and the player will be trapped. They will then need to be pulled free and try a different hole; pushing them forward is not an option. Trying to force a person through a sealed hole will only cause more holes to give way.
"A person also cannot be thrown through a hole. All this talk of "holes" is taking my brain to a bad, bad place. This will merely make the web shake and more holes collapse. Also, if a person puts a hand or any other body part through a hole and pulls it back the hole will close. As each hole collapses, there are less and less holes to go though. FEWER, not LESS, you stupid assmonkey. If you start running out of holes large enough for a person to pass though, two people can be passed through the same hole as long as they hold hands during the entire procedure. Yeah, I'm still reading this as really elaborate, disturbing innudendo. Both teams must get all their members through. "Members"? You're not helping, Neil. Points will be awarded to the winning team based on the difference in time needed to complete the task."
"We're going to have to think this out carefully before we start," Jamie said to the group in general. "We'll have to figure out who should go first and last and in what order we should use the holes." AAAAAAAAAAAGH STOP SAYING HOLES.
"Typical Zacherley philosophy," Dick Bancroft barked. "Make a simple task complicated so that she can take charge and play Miss Intelligent."
"I'm not trying to..." Jamie started, but she was drowned out by the amplified voice of Rishard.
"Now if the teams will please proceed to the enclosures, we will get started," he advised. "Coaches, you stay here with me. We wouldn't want you giving your lovely teams any extra aid."
"I'm certainly glad I'm not involved with this event," Ron said. He and Sam were sitting in the stands with Hermione. "I hate anything to do with spiders." HA HA RON IS SO STUPID AND COWARDLY HE HATES SPIDERS. After what the twins did to him, I think ANYONE would be afraid of spiders. And that whole Aragog thing probably didn't help, either.
"As we all well know," Hermione said with a laugh. "Spider's Web is only the name of the task. I'm sure they are using a synthetic web and I doubt we'll see any real spiders." OH NO THERE WILL NOT BE ANY ACTUAL SPIDERS. NOPE.
"I wouldn't bet on that," Sam said. "They look awfully real to me."
As soon as the teams had entered the enclosures, two gigantic spiders had appeared out of the shadows and were now quickly spinning webs to close the entrances to each corral, thus trapping the teams within.
"What the hell is going on here?" Snape yelled as he rushed toward Rishard. "You said nothing about using real spiders in this event."
"I thought it would be an entertaining surprise," he answered. "Don't you think it makes for a fabulously more thrilling event having a bona fide web and the hideous maker lurking threateningly just off to the side?"
"Have you ever dealt with these monsters before?" Harry asked angrily.
"No," answered Rishard. "This is my first time, but these two seemed extremely eager to participate."
"Have you ever considered that they might be planning on lunching on the competitors?" Harry asked.
"Now Harry! You mustn't be so fast to misjudge our fellow magical creatures," Simone contended. "I understand that outwardly they may look gruesome, but they are actually quite docile and very misunderstood creatures." Is he supposed to be Hagrid's gay cousin or something?
"Like hell they are," Harry barked. "I've dealt with Aragog's children up close and personal. They are anything, but docile and I did not get the wrong end of the stick. What does that even mean? They tried to kill and eat both Ron and I."
"How many years ago was that? People change, so do spiders," Rishard insisted. "These two are working for a side of beef each. The students are perfectly safe." Wow, does Neil really think that everyone, even fictional characters, are as brainless as he is?
Harry and Severus exchanged meaningful looks. Neither man seemed to share Rishard's confidence.
"Did you know there would be gigantic penises spiders involved with this competition?" Kim asked.
"No!" Caitlin answered. "And if their facial expressions are any indication, it looks like one and all were surprised by their being here. It sure makes a person hesitant about going anywhere near the web with that huge ugly thing sitting up there in the corner watching your every move with its eight eyes."
"You're a bunch of hopeless cowards," Dick shouted. "I doubt that's even a genuine penis spider. Probably just some transfigured toy." He walked over toward the web and stuck his hand through one of the larger holes; then pulled it back out. "See, the great hairy beast didn't even budge."
"You brainless git," Lee yelled. "The penis spider may not have stirred, but look what you've done to the web." As if an opaque window had closed, the hole was now covered with dense stringy webbing. "Didn't you pay any attention when Rishard was explaining the rules about the webs."
"I have better things to do than listen to a talking fruit bowl," Dick spewed. Talking fruit bowl? "Incidentally, have you losers taken notice that the Americans already have one person through the web? I imagine they're more interested in winning this stupid game than they are in gawking at a revolting fake penis spider. At the rate they're going, the Americans will have all their players through the web before you people even get your grand strategy session started."
"You people can sit and plan a line of attack if you like, but I'm fully capable of going through a hole without first having a family meeting." Before anyone had time to respond, Dick ran toward the web and lunged.
It will never be known for certain whether or not he touched the web, but something caused the hole to close instantly around him, trapping and holding him midway through.
"I don't believe him," Jamie cried out in frustration. "Not only has he caused us to lose two of the best holes, but now we have to waste even more time pulling him free."
"I don't think so," Kim said, pointing nervously toward the web where the gigantic penis spider was moving swiftly toward Dick, its pincers clicking excitedly.
End of Chapter 16
Chapter Fifteen: Life Goes On ~ Table of Contents ~ Chapter Seventeen: Who Said Life Was Fair?