Hogwarts Overexposed: Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
Twists and Turns
Monday, September 5, 2005
What a difference a year makes, Emily thought to herself as she watched Kim sleeping contentedly. When they first met, Kim was the shyest, most worried first year you could ever imagine, a perfect target for intense peer pressure to be nude. Her anxiety was only amplified when her dorm-mates mistakenly jumped to the conclusion that she was a nudist and she ended up having to live the lie. Right, because running to the bathroom naked = being a nudist.
Back then, Kim couldn't wait to close her bed hangings in order to hide her embarrassment at being naked. Now her hangings were wide open and Kim was sleeping coverless, her loveliness completely exposed. LOVELINESS? SHE IS TWELVE.
"Time to get up, you brazen hussy," Emily called.
"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black," Kim said, as she stretched unashamedly. "I don't see you rushing to hide your modesty." Hide your modesty? At this point, I'm wondering if Neil has any interaction at all with people, because he has no grasp of how the English language works.
"Probably because I don't have any," Emily said with a laugh. "You know how I feel about clothes. I'd have absolutely no problem spending the entire day like this."
Kim stared enviously at her best friend. "I've come to love being molested by your father nude," she said. "The cruise was fabulous, but I doubt I'll ever be as at ease with bareness as you. I couldn't imagine walking into the Great Hall starkers and having everyone else clothed and gawking at me."
"The staring is the best part! They'd eventually get tired of staring," Emily said unconcernedly. "I'd gladly give every stitch of clothing I own to charity if I were told I could remain like this the rest of my life without any ramifications."
Kim got out of bed, went over to Emily and embraced her best friend closely. "I'm glad that your ordeal didn't change you any. I love you just the way you are." Kim gave Emily a light kiss on the cheek.
You would think that being forced to spend several weeks naked and traumatized would have quelled Emily's desire for nudity. But I guess that would get in the way of TEH NAKED.
"Why don't you two lesbians get a private room?" Denise Graves, their least affable roommate suggested.
"Yeah! It's bad enough you both run around the dorm naked all the time," Janice complained. "Now are we going to be forced to watch you two fornicate as well?" Fornicate? What twelve-year-old uses the word fornicate?
"We aren't gay," Emily said decisively. "Kim and I simply love each other. But you two wouldn't understand that. You're both too 'me oriented' to have feelings for anyone else."
"What if we were gay?" Kim said angrily. "There is nothing wrong with being gay. People shouldn't be judged on their sexual orientation."
Kim, dear, it has nothing to do with your orientation, and everything to do with your AGE.
"You're right," Denise declared. "It doesn't matter whether you two are gay or not; you're still both losers." Zing! I like Denise.
"Come on love," Kim said, giving Emily a wink and grabbing her inappropriately. "We don't have to listen to this crap. Let's go take a shower."
"Can I lather you first?" Emily asked naughtily as they exited the room.
There is so much wrong with that I don't even know where to start.
"Not only are they nudists, but they're both queers, as well," Janice declared, as the bathroom door closed behind Kim and Emily.
"Does that really surprise you?" Denise crowed.
Neil, your whole "tolerance" thing doesn't really ring to true when it's obvious that it's only ok with you if GIRLS are homosexual.
Marta and Becky had been listening to the exchange of barbs take place, but hadn't made any comment. Now they traded glances before Marta got out of her four- poster and traced Kim and Emily's steps to the bathroom.
"I can't believe you grabbed me down there," Emily said, as both girls burst into giggles as soon as the door closed behind them.
"You're always going on about how it's just another body part," Kim said. "Besides, did you see the look on their faces when I did it?"
If one of my friends grabbed my crotch (especially if I was naked), they would not be my friend anymore. And no, it's not "just another body part," Neil. Is that what you tell yourself? Do you tell yourself that touching children's genitals is the same as shaking their hands?
"Yeah," Emily said laughing. "Denise actually turned green. I just LOVE making other people feel uncomfortable! You do realize that by lunchtime everyone in the school will think we are just characters created by a pedophile have the hots for each other."
"In all probability, you're right," Kim agreed. "Maybe I shouldn't have gone so far."
"We're not done yet," Emily said, smirking. "Remember, I promised to soap you up."
"I don't think we should do that," Kim said, suddenly sounding quite serious. "I'm afraid I might like it." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
Before Emily could respond, Marta entered the room. At first she just stared at them, without speaking. "You guys really do love each other, don't you?" she asked, seeming very impressed. "But not in the way you tried to make Denise and Janice believe."
So mutual molestation is a sign of true friendship?
"We're not gay if that's what you mean," Kim admitted, "but I'd do anything for Emily. Other than my Mum, I've never loved a person so much."
"I love her as much as I do Jamie and Caitlin. She's my sister," Emily avowed.
Marta studied them both cautiously as if she had something significant to share, but was extremely tentative. "Kim, did you mean what you said? Do you really not let sexual orientation affect how you feel about people? How about you, Emily? Do you think people who are gay are weird?"
Emily wavered, not certain just how much private information about herself she wanted to reveal to Marta with her answer. Emily, it's no secret that you like girls. "I treat people the way they treat me," she said. "Their sexual preferences are their own business." She faltered before adding, "It's not right for me to judge other people, when I can't even completely figure myself out. I'm only twelve, but I'm pretty sure I'm heterosexual." She took a deep breath. "But there is a good chance I might be bisexual."
So, how can she be pretty sure she's heterosexual if there is a good chance she is bisexual? On the other hand, at least Neil acknowledges the existence of bisexual people.
"Why are you asking all these questions?" Kim asked.
"Because it's hard to always be hiding your true feelings. It would be nice to have someone you could trust; someone you could let your guard down in front of." It was Marta's turn to take a deep breath. "Becky and I are a couple," she said quickly and then waited for a response.
"How long have you been together?" was the first question out of Kim's mouth.
"We've known each other since we were five," Marta answered, "but we've only been doing things to each other since we were ten."
"Ten?" Emily repeated in amazement. "You both knew you were gay at ten?"
"Not for sure. We just knew we liked to touch each other and be touched. It wasn't until we met you two that we were sure we were homosexuals," Marta explained.
TEN?!?! a;lskghlaskhowetuawgfbnmdaslkhgowiqwahn
OK, I don't care that it's not even three PM. I need a margarita.
"What did we have to do with it?" Kim asked.
Marta face turned a bright red. "Well, to be perfectly honest, the two of you running around in the buff all the time got both Becky and I rather keyed up." Emily and Kim exchanged nervous looks. "Don't worry, neither of us ever considered approaching either of you. We had each other to satisfy our wants. Besides, you both had us somewhat confused as to whether you liked boys or girls or both."
For all their talk of how it's ok to be gay, Kim and Emily seem awfully nervous at the thought of teh evol lesbians approaching them.
"Do we still get you excited?" Kim asked uncertainly.
"You both have attractive bodies, and Becky and I admittedly enjoy looking at you; similar to how someone looks at sexy pictures in a magazine." Marta paused. "I'm only confiding all this to you because we're tired of hiding our feelings. We want to be open about how we feel about each other, but we'd like to know that at least you two supported us."
I don't care who you are or what you like, I think it's creepy to tell someone you don't know very well that you use them as wank material. But maybe I'm just a prude.
"You both supported us last year," Emily said, without faltering. "I'll be there for you."
"That goes for me too," Kim said. "But...."
"You want to know how we can be sure about our feelings and choices," Marta said, as if reading Kim's mind. "We can't be absolutely positive. The two of us only know how we feel when we're together and neither of us wants that feeling to ever end."
"I envy you both," Emily sighed. "I hope you both still feel the same about each other a hundred years from now."
"I hope you and Kim both still share the marvelous friendship you have," Marta said sincerely. "I also hope that knowing about Becky and I won't make you self-conscious in front of us."
"Not in the least," Emily replied. "I can't think of any circumstances in which I'd prefer to be clothed rather than nude."
I hope you're happy, Neil. You're making me use up all my margarita mix.
* * * * *
When Emily and Kim returned to the dorm after completing their showers, they found Becky and Marta both sitting on Becky's bed talking conspiratorially. The four girls exchanged knowing smiles as Kim and Emily dressed for breakfast.
"Did I miss a lot on Thursday and Friday?" Emily asked concernedly.
"Not really," Kim said. "It was mostly review of stuff we learned last year. Today should be interesting though. This morning we have our first 'Anatomy of the Sexes' class with Professor Weasley, this doesn't sound good and then this afternoon Professor Longbottom is going to have us transplant Mandrakes in Herbology."
"Which one of the Weasleys do we have, the male or the female?" Emily asked.
"The one with boobs," Kim answered. "She is teaching first and second years." Wow, Ginny is such an evil whore that they can't even use her name.
"Somehow I doubt we'll learn anything in that class," Emily said assuredly. "I just can't picture Professor Weasley discussing sex frankly with a room full of twelve year olds, and the textbook looks like it is out of the Dark Ages."
"I think she'll be much better than her brother," Kim answered. "He's teaching the third and fourth years." Why are they making Ron teach sex ed? It's clearly not something he's comfortable with. Weasley-bashing makes me sad. :(
"You guys about ready?" Becky asked, giving Kim and Emily a smile.
"As soon as I slip on my skirt," Emily said, adjusting her mini.
"I can't believe you two tarts," Denise said with revulsion. "It's bad enough neither of you ever wear bras, but how can you parade around in such short skirts without knickers?"
Is Denise supposed to be a bad character? Because I like this girl!
Neither girl verbally answered Denise. Emily did, however, bend over while lifting her skirt to moon Denise and Janice. I HATE EMILY. I HOPE HER STUPID VULVA ROTS OFF
As they neared the door to their dorm room, Becky and Marta exchanged nervous glances before reaching out and clutching each other's hand tightly.
"What do you say?" Emily asked, giving Kim a devilish smile. "Should we give the school something to really talk about?"
"That depends on what you have in mind," Kim answered coyly. "I have no problem with you holding my hand, but I'll scream if you grab my butt in public."
"Would I do that?" Emily asked, starting to slip her hand under Kim's skirt. I HATE YOU EMILY. I HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE UMBRIDGE.
Kim slapped her hand away. "You're worse than Randy." Heh. Randy. Subtle, Neil.
"Speaking of Randy, how are the two of you getting along?" Emily asked. "Have you heard anything from Brian since he boned your ass on a surfboard?"
* * * * *
SNIP. Marta and Becky walk to breakfast holding hands. It causes shock! I'm not sure why; out of the thousands of students who have ever attended Hogwarts, I'm sure there have been more than a few lesbians. Kim and Emily are also holding hands, and even more people pay attention to them because they are just so special.
Percy sends Snape a Howler. Snape deserves to be sacked, really. I mean, look at what the Ministry tried to do to Dumbledore, and that was with him being polite and classy about his disapproval.
* * * * *
Snape doesn't care if the Board tries to sack him, as long as he has the support of Harry and Hermione! Who is this person and what has he done with Snape? Also, he's in a relationship with Katie Bell. What is it with this man fucking his former students?
* * * * *
"You never answered my question this morning," Emily said, as she and Kim took seats next to each other for their first 'Anatomy of the Sexes' class. "Has Brian written you at all?"
Kim didn't answer, but instead glowed pink as she held up six fingers. I can see why you did that, Kim. "Six" is such an embarrassing number to say. It sounds like "sex," and we all know how awkward everyone in this series is about that--oh wait.
"He's written you six letters," Emily said excitedly. "You must have really made an impression on him."
"I like him, too," Kim said shyly. "If only he wasn't a Muggle. It makes things so complicated. Even posting him a letter is a pain."
"When are you going to tell Randy?" Emily asked.
"I don't know what to do where he is concerned," Kim said concernedly. "He's really nice and I don't want to hurt him. He lost Caitlin to Matt and you to Tyler. If I break up with him, it will be a nasty blow job to his ego. Even more of a blow than staying together with him OUT OF PITY? Besides, what are the odds of Brian and I ever even seeing each other again, let alone becoming a couple? He's in the United States and I'm here."
OH NO, KIM WILL NEVER SEE BRIAN AGAIN. NOPE. Gah.
"I understand where you are coming from," Emily said supportively, "but somehow it just seems wrong to leave Randy under the impression that he is the foreskinmost guy in your life when you are writing Brian. How about Brian, does he know about Randy?"
"No," Kim said hanging her head. "I was afraid he'd stop writing if he knew I had a boyfriend."
The girls' conversation was brought to a halt by Ginny bringing the class to order.
"You won't be needing your wands in this class," she said with a smile. "At least not those wands. We'll be talking about a different kind of magic; the magic of love, intimacy, conception and birth. Although we will be following the printed guidelines in your textbooks, I want you to feel free to ask questions at any time and I'll do my best to answer them. Since this is our first session together, I think we should get to know each other. Suppose you each stand and introduce yourself. Then ask me a question that has been on your mind. Who wants to start?"
The students all exchanged glances, but no one raised their hand.
"I realize that you're all nervous," Professor Weasley said. "You probably aren't used to discussing sex in a mixed group. Thought was initially given to having separate classes for boys and girls, but the final decision was that you should be taught together for maximum sexiness!. Would anyone like to venture a guess as to why it was decided it was best to instruct you as a mixed group?"
At first no one moved, but then a hand timidly rose. "Yes, Miss Thatcher. What do you think was the reason?"
"We'll all be having sex together, so we should learn about it together," Kim said softly.
"Hopefully not all at once," Ginny said, straight faced.
When the inference of what Ginny had said settled in, the class broke into laughter. Even Kim laughed at her slip.
"That would be called an orgy, and something we hopefully won't be discussing," Professor Weasley said with a laugh as she put her hand on Kim's shoulder. "We all know what you meant, but I appreciate you breaking the tension. We will also be discussing same-sex relationships, but for the moment, let's confine our discussion to heterosexual, or boy/girl relationships."
As the giggles subsided, Emily's hand went in the air. I DO NOT like where this is going.
"Our first question," Ginny said, her voice sounding both pleased and edgy.
"Emily Zacherley-Potter," she said in introduction. "I've been a nudist all my life. That doesn't necessarily give me a heads up when it comes to knowledge about sex, but I probably have seen more naked people than anyone else in the room. I've noticed that some men have extremely large things. What happens if you fall in love with someone and it doesn't fit in your twat when you want to make love?"
DIE EMILY DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE I HATE YOU
SNIP. Ginny's answer is clearly copied from Wikipedia or something, because I doubt Neil has had any experience with actual vaginas. They want to study actual naked people, and Emily says she'd volunteer! Of course you would, Emily.
* * * * *
Percy is being a Fudge rip-off. Caitlin and her friends are only taking Divination so that there is more canon for Neil to plagiarize.
* * * * *
Draco proposes to Ginny. Boring and implausible.
* * * * *
Matt saw up Caitlin's skirt when they went up the ladder to Divination. He is bothered by the way she dresses, and asks her to dress differently. He is clearly evil and controlling.
WHY IS MY MARGARITA GONE ALREADY?
* * * * *
SNIP. Salazar Slytherin is trying to recruit former Death Eaters. Wow, Neil, could you make it any more obvious that you want him to be Voldemort 2.0?
* * * * *
Jamie grabbed the books off her bed and hurried out of the seventh year girls' dormitory to join Alex and Amanda, who were already in the common room. As she was about to pass the third year dorm, the door opened and Caitlin slowly emerged. She was having difficulty walking, due to being FILLED WITH BULLETS.
"What are you doing!?" Jamie asked, coming to an abrupt halt.
"I'm about to give Matt an answer," Caitlin answered, trying to hold back her tears.
"No you're not," Jamie barked. "At least not until I know the question." Wow, Jamie? And Matt is the controlling one?
End of Chapter 10
Chapter Nine: Death Times Two ~ Table of Contents ~ Chapter Eleven: Driving the Point Home