Leaning Slightly to the Left | HG | Rated: T
Title: Leaning Slightly to the Left: Chapter 7
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: T
Chapter Warnings: Angst, bitchiness
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 7,250
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: Bitchiness is soooooooooooooo much fun to write!
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Confrontation
'You know, I'm going to start getting offended when you're working late when I am waiting at home for you!'
Hermione frowned and then laughed at the indignant look on Ginny's face. After a second Ginny grinned. Hermione threw her quill down on to her pile of parchment and stretched her arms above her head.
'In my defence, you're going out tonight so would only be at home for half an hour before flitting off for a night of eating too much, probably drinking too much and then more... stuff with Harry which I will ask you don't go into details about, tomorrow.'
Ginny raised her eyebrows. 'I'll have you know I am a professional athlete and would never abuse my body in such ways!'
Hermione snorted and then quickly covered her mouth, surprised at how loud the noise that escaped her was.
'Gin, it's the last weekend off you have until the season finishes, and two of your last four games are against the teams who are snapping at your heels in the league table, therefore you won't be touching a drop of alcohol until after the last game of the season, and so tonight you are going to make the most of being free while you can. You forget that you do this every year and that for the past two years of you doing this you have drunkenly phoned me at three the following morning telling me how much you love me.'
'Well, you can be certain I won't be doing that this year!' Ginny exclaimed, trying to look annoyed. 'Anyway, do you know where Harry and Ron are? We checked the Auror office and they're not there.'
The 'we' registered with Hermione and her eyes flickered to the doorway and saw Mattie standing outside, her arms folded across her chest looking like she would rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment than outside Hermione's office.
'I haven't seen them all afternoon but that's nothing unusual. I haven't had any need to go into their office and they haven't come in here so... sorry, no.'
Ginny shrugged and nodded her head. 'Okay, well I'll-'
There was a small shriek from the doorway and then shouts and many, heavy footsteps thundered up the corridor. Mattie ran backwards into the office away from the commotion.
'What the hell?' Ginny said to the room before taking a few steps towards the door.
Hermione stood and gazed in confusion through the windows to the corridor. She walked out from around her desk and hurried to the door. As she reached the doorway four more people rushed down the corridor and a terrified looking woman followed them.
'Lucy!' Hermione said as the dark haired assistant fell into the wall, her eyes frantic. Hermione knew Lucy had only just started in the Department of Magical Law, having left Hogwarts a few weeks ago and could see she had never experienced Aurors running full pelt through the corridors. She had never experienced it in this Ministry, but it had happened a few times during her time in Paris. She knew how unnerving it was and until she knew what was going on she wouldn't be calm.
'Hermione! They just started running! What's going on?'
'Hey, calm down, there'll be some kind of emergency and they'll need to be somewhere quickly. Is there anyone else in your office?'
Lucy shook her head. 'N…no, I had one last piece of paperwork to finish and I was the last one there.'
'Okay, well if you want to go and get it and stay in here with me then-.'
A low pitched siren started up and Hermione felt the ground vibrate under her feet. A red line appeared at the top of the doorway in front of her and she watched as it quickly moved towards the floor. She grabbed Lucy's arm and pulled her into the office before she was buffeted into the corridor.
'Well, I suppose we're staying here for a while.'
'What?' shrieked Mattie from behind her. 'What just happened?'
'The security wards just covered the whole building. Whatever room, office or toilet you're in, you're staying in until they're lifted.'
'So we're stuck here?' Mattie shrieked again. 'Why? Why would they do that?'
'Generally, when the security wards come down, it's because there's a security issue.'
Hermione hoped her tone had conveyed that Mattie was asking a rather silly question.
'What type of security issue?'
Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Lucy.
'Did you hear anything before you came in here? Any snippets of conversations? Shouted words?'
Hermione put her hand on Lucy's shoulder to try and calm her down.
'Um, I think… I think I heard… heard the words… D-Death Eater… but surely… surely not!'
Hermione suppressed the shudder that threatened to fill every cell of her body.
'Probably copycat people trying to ride the coat tails of a memory that hasn't faded yet. Don't panic. They have to check everything out and they have to be overly cautious, hence the wards and the lock down. Chances are we won't be stuck here long we just have to sit it out. We're not going to find out anything by worrying.'
'It might be the reason why Harry and Ron weren't in their office, though,' Ginny said quietly.
Hermione shrugged and started walking back to her desk, suddenly hungry and thankful that she had a stash of chocolate bars and bags of crisps in one of her desk drawers.
'So, we're stuck until they sort out what's going on?' Lucy said, her voice a little firmer now that she was safe inside a warded room.
'Yep!' Hermione replied as she landed in her chair.
'Stuck is not good.'
Hermione didn't look up at Mattie, she knew that ignoring her probably wasn't going to be an option for the entire time they were in the office, but she would try and do it for as long as possible.
'Well, we are stuck,' Lucy replied as she walked over to Hermione's desk and perched on the edge.
'Stop saying that word! I'm claustrophobic! I can't cope with small spaces!' Hermione managed not to roll her eyes.
'But we're not in a small space!' Lucy replied slowly. Hermione smiled and picked up the piece of parchment she had been working on before Ginny had arrived.
'We can't get OUT! Therefore it's an enclosed SPACE!'
Hermione glared at Mattie.
'Don't shout at her!'
Mattie turned and glared at Hermione. She opened her mouth to say something. Hermione raised her eyebrows as a sort of warning. Mattie turned and stormed to the door. She raised her hands and banged on the glass looking out onto the corridor.
'Well, I think I can say with some certainty the next hour is going to be pretty uncomfortable, wouldn't you agree, Lucy?'
Lucy snorted and walked to the nearest desk to Hermione's. She dragged the chair from behind it and set it in front of Hermione's desk. Hermione looked up at Ginny who was looking at her with a frown on her face. She turned and walked over to Mattie and started talking to her quietly.
'Are you okay?' Hermione asked Lucy.
Lucy nodded. 'Yeah, it was just a bit shocking seeing all those big professional crime fighters look terrified as they ran through the place. Just brought back… memories… you know?'
Hermione nodded. 'Believe me, I know.'
Lucy nodded and leant back in her chair. 'Do you need any help with anything? I may as well be useful while I'm here.'
'Is filing to tedious for you? I was going to leave it until next week but if you don't mind…'
Lucy shrugged. 'It can't be any more tedious than not doing anything. What am I filing?'
Hermione talked Lucy through the stack of parchment she'd had to put on the floor for fear of it falling off her desk and making a difficult job impossible. There was cross referencing to do of case notes and index cards to update as she filed. Thankfully Lucy caught on to the system quickly and took to the task enthusiastically.
A few minutes later Ginny walked over to Hermione's desk.
'Do you have something sugary? Some chocolate or something? I think it's best Mattie gets some sugar inside her before she passes out.'
Hermione knew she was being childish when her first reaction was to deny Mattie some of her chocolate, but as Ginny's eyebrow started to rise slowly she turned and tapped her desk drawer with her wand. It sprung open and she took one of her two bars of Honeyduke's dark chocolate out and handed it to Ginny.
'Thank you,' Ginny said without a smile.
Hermione looked at her stash of unhealthy snack food and decided she would try and wait as long as possible before she started eating.
'If I pretend to be claustrophobic can I have some chocolate, too?'
A smile pulled at Hermione's mouth but she managed not to laugh.
'I have a stash of crisps should you get hungry later. I'm trying to hold out as long as possible though. Kinda like when you need to-.'
'Oh Merlin, you did not just inadvertently bring peeing up when there is nowhere we can! Well, in private anyway…'
'Lucy!'
'What? You brought it up!'
'Inadvertently! Anyway, you're a smart witch I'm sure you'll be able to compromise! Just… as far away from my desk as possible!'
Lucy laughed out loud. 'I'll be sure to find the furthest point away from your desk as physically possible.'
'And never mention it again!'
'I think that is a given, Hermione, this is hardly something I want bringing up at the office Christmas party!'
~~~
'How long have we been in here?'
Hermione had her eyes closed and she had reclined her chair backwards and propped her feet on the edge of her desk.
'Thirty… seven minutes,' Ginny replied to Mattie's question.
'Is that all? Feels like we've been in here hours.'
'Yes, it does, doesn't it,' Hermione replied to herself. Lucy snorted and Hermione opened her eyes to see her colleague grinning from her seat on another desk.
'Hermione, you're not the type of person to have alcohol hidden in the bottom drawer of your desk alongside your stash of crisps, are you?' Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at Lucy. 'Didn't think so,' Lucy said in reply to Hermione's look.
'Do you really think alcohol is the solution to this problem? Ginny asked the parchment she was drawing Quidditch formations on.
'It's definitely not a solution but it will help me cope with the problem a little better. Do you reckon Accio would work?' she asked as she turned towards Hermione.
Hermione raised her eyebrows and was about to answer when Mattie beat her to it.
'I suppose it would work as long as drawers aren't locked. What's the worst that could happen?'
'Really? What's the worst that could happen?' Hermione asked in response to Mattie's words.
'This is why I need a drink! Accio alcohol!'
'No! Wait!' Hermione cried as a series of thuds preceded nine glass bottles flying through the air straight at Lucy.
Hermione jumped from her seat, ran around her desk and grabbed her wand off the table before shouting 'Protego!' The air shifted in front of Lucy and the semi transparent barrier shimmered around her. The nine bottles bounced off the shield and fell towards the floor. Ginny launched herself sideways from her seating position and, while catching the largest bottle filled with amber liquid in her left hand as it ricocheted off Hermione's shield, she shouted 'Pulminartis!' and the rest of the bottles landed softly on her cushioning charm.
After a few seconds Hermione's shield charm disappeared and her arm fell to her side.
'Um… oops!' Lucy said, turning round and looking at Ginny lying on her back, bottle raised off the ground and Hermione looking shocked.
'What's the worst that could happen?' Hermione shrieked, glaring at Lucy and then Mattie.
'Admittedly that was probably not the best idea. Thank you, Hermione, for saving my nose from being rearranged and thank you, Ginny for saving the biggest bottle of alcohol that came out of a Ministry Employee’s unlocked desk.'
'You're welcome as long as I'm the first to drink from the damn thing. Someone conjure some glasses while I stand up.' Lucy stepped over the other bottles that had slowly lowered to the floor thanks to Ginny's charm and offered her hand out to Ginny. Ginny took it and was pulled to her feet.
'When you play Quidditch, you don't normally throw yourself off your broom to catch the Quaffle, do you?' Lucy asked with a look of concern.
'No, I don't. Generally brooms move with you, whereas chairs stay firmly where they are.'
'Good, because that would make an already ridiculous game, stupid.'
'Do you want this alcohol to meet the floor at speed?'
'Um… no… sorry, I'll shut up about Quidditch. Thank you for the alcohol saving heroics and please have the first drink from the very full bottle.'
She waved her wand which she had picked up from Hermione's desk and a short glass appeared in her hand. She handed it to Ginny.
'Can I just point out how much alcohol appeared from that one spell?' Mattie said. 'And that's not counting the many, many thuds that indicated how much is still trapped in locked drawers! Is the whole of the Department of Magical Law an alcoholic waiting to happen?' Mattie propped her feet on the edge of the nearest desk and folded her arms across her chest.
'Please don't accuse my colleagues of being alcoholics. You have no idea the things they have to see on a daily basis. Just because the war's over doesn't mean that all horrific things have been irradiated from the world.'
Her words had been quite but firm.
'I… I wasn't judging, but you have to admit it's a lot of alcohol in one office.'
Hermione didn't answer but turned to sit back down at her desk. She picked up her quill and carried on the notes she had been taking before the alcohol incident. A couple of minutes later a glass appeared in front of her with a healthy measure - of what she presumed was Firewhisky - in it.
'Something tells me you'll need that,' Lucy said quietly.
She wasn't wrong.
~~~
'What's the connection between a Killer Whale, a Koala Bear, a Starfish and a Polecat?'
Lucy was lying along the desk closest to Hermione's with her head dangling over the edge and her feet pointing towards the ceiling. Without looking up from her parchment Hermione answered Lucy's question.
'They're not what their names suggest they are.'
Lucy turned her head towards Hermione.
'It's impossible to feel intelligent with you in the room, isn't it?'
Hermione snorted at Lucy's comment.
'I'm so sorry, I'll just keep drinking until I kill some brain cells, shall I?'
'If you would!'
'For those of us who aren't quite as intelligent as the Department of Magical Law's new teacher's pet,' Mattie said as she stared into her glass. Hermione ignored the jibe but a wave of anger surged through her. She picked up her glass and downed the contents. She didn't feel guilty about drinking yet, it was only her second glass, 'would you please explain to us lesser beings the answer to the question?'
Lucy stared at the ceiling and while she pointed and flexed her toes she answered.
'Certainly! They are not what their names suggest they are because a Polecat is not a cat, it is a weasel, a Killer Whale is in fact the largest member of the dolphin family, a Koala Bear is a marsupial and a Starfish is in no way a fish but an echinoderm.'
'Wow, every day really is a school day!' Mattie said before filling up her empty glass once more.
Hermione had flinched at her words. She knew where Mattie had got that phrase from; it was the same place she got it from.
'Where on earth did you get that from?' Ginny asked from her position on the floor.
'I am a fountain of random knowledge!' Lucy replied as she sat up and turned to face Ginny.
'Or you watched television last night and got it off a slightly pretentious but brilliant game show.'
'Oh come on! I was so close to pulling off intelligent!'
Hermione grinned.
'You could have let her have her moment of glory! We're not all ridiculously intelligent!' Mattie had a smile on her face as she said the words but it slipped when she turned to Hermione.
Hermione closed her eyes and put her quill and parchment down on the desk. She stood and took her glass with her as she started walking towards the back of the office.
'Oh so now you're going to go and sit on your own and ignore us all?'
Hermione turned and glared at Mattie.
'Yes, because if I don't I may actually give you the satisfaction of calling you a bitch and if there is something I do not want to do it is give you any satisfaction whatsoever. I really was trying to be civil to you but I think I'll stop now. It's not worth the stress or toll on my ridiculously intelligent brain.'
She turned and stalked to the other end of the office, and sat herself in the furthest corner from her desk. She sat on the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees. She sighed and let her head drop onto her arms wishing she could be anywhere but in the same room as the woman who had everything she ever wanted.
~~~
'Come and sit with us. I hate you being back here, brooding about… everything.'
Ginny sat heavily next to Hermione and rested her head against her shoulder.
'Did you know that this spot is exactly above the centre of the rotating room in the Department of Mysteries? I don't know why, especially since we've been through so much other stuff since but… recently I've found myself thinking about our adventures down there and how… how that was the first time I truly believed that I could die. I know being Harry's best friend was always dangerous but the danger was never aimed at me. I was never the person who the spells were aimed at, I was never the person who had a psychotic wizard hell-bent on killing me and with Dumbledore there I truly believed none of us could be harmed. But here… we were so far away from what we knew was safe and we were six teenagers fighting Death Eaters! How the hell none of us died, I-… I mean, I didn't mean-'
'I know what you meant, it's okay.'
'Do you know… well I never told you so I don't think you know but Ron might have told you…' She took a deep breath and let her head fall against the wall behind her. 'The curse that I was hit with… that day… the time I was unconscious, I was stuck in my head. I was… somewhere, maybe between life and death, I don't know. I felt compos mentis, I thought that I was wandering around a black room and I… I shouted for someone to help me, but I eventually figured out that it wasn't real and that I might be dead or dying and… I hated that I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to anyone. My parents, my friends… Ron…'
She took a deep breath and a tear fell down her cheek.
'I didn't know that I loved him, I was sixteen years old! I didn't know about anything really! Not in comparison to what we learned during the war about loss and love and life. But… I knew that there was something about him that was special and I needed to have him near me until I figured out what the hell was going on.'
'So…' Ginny said quietly, 'I know I've asked you this once before but you didn't answer it properly… when he proposed, why did you say no? He was giving you all that you wanted and you said… no.'
Hermione smiled and leant her head against Ginny's.
'Now it seems ridiculous. Believe me, I know, but… I was scared. We were so young and we barely saw each other. We'd never had time to be an 'us' you know? The war ended and he went to work and I went to school and then I went to France. We'd never really been a proper couple and part of me was scared that when we had the chance to spend proper time together and live together and learn everything there was to know about each other that I'd… I'd fall short of his expectations or I'd annoy him constantly or we'd end up hating each other and I… I got terrified. And I didn't say no. I told him that I wanted to marry him and I wanted us to be together just that I wanted to wait.'
She felt Ginny nod.
'I didn't even let myself look at the ring because I wanted to see it for the first time when I knew I was going to say yes…'
Ginny lifted her head and Hermione looked at her.
'You didn't even see the ring?'
'Did you?'
'Yeah… Do you remember the story I told you about George giving Ron the ring that Fred was going to give to Angelina after the war?'
Realisation slid into Hermione's brain.
'It was… he was going to give me… Fred's… ring…'
'Yeah…'
A second realisation bumped into the first.
'It's Mattie's ring now, isn't it?'
'Um… yeah… it is… I nearly fell off my chair when she showed it me but… it's Ron's choice and he chose to give it her.'
Hermione nodded and refused to let any more tears fall from her eyes. Footsteps filled her ears.
'Er, Gin?'
Mattie's voice made her sit up and hastily look for her drink on the floor.
'Yeah?' Ginny replied with a smile.
'I think your phone just beeped.'
'Phones!' Hermione yelled. She scrambled to her feet and Ginny pulled on her flailing hand to get herself on the floor. 'How did I forget we both had a mobile phone?'
She ran to her desk and grabbed her bag off the floor. She plunged her hand into the mess that she had told herself she had to clear out on numerous occasion and after what felt like hours her hand found the hard plastic of the device she craved.
She looked over at Ginny who was fumbling with the keys on her phone. She looked down at her phone and willed it to come to life. She never relied on her mobile phone because it was so unreliable around any form of magic. She found that the older the phone, the more robust it was to the interference but it was still hit and miss. She held down the power button and prayed the something would happen. But her attention was diverted when Ginny collapsed into the chair behind her.
'No…' she whispered. 'No, Harry… no.'
She had only heard one thing more terrible come from Ginny than those words in that desperate tone, and that was when Hagrid had carried Harry out of the forest on that fateful night. She looked at Ginny and all the colour had drained from her face. She was aware of Lucy and Mattie moving around her but she only had eyes for her best friend and the obvious terror that was invading her. She walked to her, dropping her phone on the desk as she went and knelt down in front of her.
She put her hands on her shoulder and looked at her.
'Gin?' she said quietly, 'Gin, what does it say?'
Ginny raised her eyes to Hermione's and pushed the phone towards her. Hermione didn't take the phone from her but glanced down at the illuminated screen. Upside down she read the words, I love you, forever and eternity.
From Ginny's earlier exclamation she knew the message was from Harry, but she had no idea why Ginny had reacted so badly. Ginny had received plenty of 'I love you's from Harry in the past, via owl, floo and her muggle mobile phone but never had she seen this reaction. There was something she didn't understand.
'Ginny, what's going on? Apart from what he said, what does that message mean?'
Ginny swallowed hard and her eyes moved from the phone to Hermione, back to the phone and finally staying locked on Hermione. She cleared her throat but the sound that came out was quieter then Hermione had ever heard come out of her best friend. This terrified her more than anything.
'A couple of years ago Harry had been in the heart of training with Ron and they came back to their flat and I've never seen either of them so shaken since the end of the war.' She took a shaky breath but still stared at Hermione as if looking at her was the only way she could focus. 'I only managed to get the bare minimum out of them but apparently… they were called into a situation… even as juniors who weren't fully qualified because they needed every wand available. Anyway, as it turns out by the time they'd got there the drama was over, but they were charged with finding the Aurors who were missing. There was one guy who they didn't find for twenty minutes or so. They were in woods and they spanned for miles and when they found him… well he'd lost so much blood he had no colour and he told them he was dying. They wanted to apparated him to the hospital but the man - Daniel his name was - told them he only had a few minutes left… that he could feel… it.
'They tried to persuade him but he told them in no uncertain terms that he was not going to die in hospital, he was going to die on his own terms and that was staring through the trees at the sky, comforted by the warm breeze and the wisps of clouds above him, waiting for the inevitable to happen. He er… he also wanted to make sure that Harry got a message to his wife and… their daughter. Neither Ron nor Harry ever told me what the message was, I was lucky to get all that I've just said out of them, I wasn't going to get anything else.
'I stayed over that night and about three in the morning I needed to pee but Harry wasn't in his bed. I walked through to the lounge and stopped when I heard them talking. I know I shouldn't have listened or I should have made myself heard but… I just couldn't. I needed to hear what was tearing them both apart. Harry was nearly in tears and he said to Ron that…'
She swallowed hard and Hermione squeezed her shoulders encouraging her to continue. Tears appeared in her eyes but she kept on talking.
'Harry said to Ron that he never wanted his last 'I love you' to me to come from a complete stranger. He was sitting there just thinking out loud the different ways he could think of that would stop it happening. Ron seemed… it was like he wanted to slap Harry to get him to calm down and snap out of it, but he just let him talk and work out what he needed to. Eventually he remembered that he had a phone and he could pre-save messages in it. He even went so far as to start memorising the shortcuts to send the message without having to look at his phone. It was only a short combination, it wouldn't have taken him long. Ron asked what he would have as his last message and Harry replied with…'
The tears fell from her eyes and her head dropped. Hermione moved so she was side on to the chair and pulled Ginny into a hug. Ginny sobbed into Hermione's shoulder and Hermione felt her own eyes burn with tears.
'But what does that mean? It can't mean…'
Hermione ignored Mattie's words and stroked Ginny's back trying to give her some sort of comfort.
'If they're in trouble there's no way Harry would have had time to send a text so maybe… whatever's he said in that message… what did he say?'
Ginny gave a particularly loud sob. Hermione heard the phone drop to the floor and felt Ginny's arms around her clinging on as if for her life. She heard Mattie move around her and knew she had picked up the phone off the floor.
'So… so what does this mean?'
Hermione closed her eyes and tried to think logically but she couldn't help but think the worst. She knew that if Harry was in danger, Ron was in danger; when it really mattered they never left each other's side.
'It's not supposed to be like this,' Ginny whispered.
Hermione pulled back, she had to find a way to keep some sort of optimism in her and Ginny's heart until they knew exactly what was going on.
'Hey, Gin, we don't know what's happening, do we? It's entirely plausible that Harry thought that things were going to turn out… bad but they didn't. He doesn't know that you know what that text could mean, does he? So as far as he knows he's just made your day that little bit brighter, so there's no reason for him to follow it up with reassurance that he's fine because all he did was tell you he loved you.'
Ginny opened her mouth to argue but Hermione cut her off.
'I know! I know that there is a chance that they're not okay and that thought is… suffocating, I can't even begin to think that he won't… that neither of them…' she shook her head to make herself concentrate on her point and not the horror that threatened to overwhelm her, 'but for the minute we both have to believe that they're okay.'
She wiped the tears off Ginny's face and looked her in the eye until Ginny looked at her.
'Okay?' she said once more, her voice firmer.
Ginny nodded and took a shaky breath.
'Well as long as you two are calm and fine then I guess that's all that matters!'
Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. She stood up and turned to lean on her desk.
'Mattie, I-'
'You know, I don't know if you've noticed but there are other people in the world who have the right to be shit scared right now. My fiancé is missing and I have no idea what the hell is going on and you're sitting there like you're the only one who cares about him!'
'Really? You're playing the 'I have more right to be worried' card? Do you actually want to play that game?'
'Well, I seem to be winning everything else so I think I'll try this one as well.'
'Winning? You think this is all a game?'
'Well, it's better than thinking it's a fairy tale with only one pre-destined happily ever after!'
'Okay, I'm not going to even consider replying to that because it is ridiculous, but I am going to tell you exactly why I have every right to be worried about my two best friends. I-… you know what? I'm not going to. I’m not going to stand here and justify my worry because I have every right to feel the way I feel.'
'Heh! Saying no? You're good at that, I suppose.'
Hermione prided herself on being able to walk away from a potentially volatile situation but this time she couldn't. She set her jaw and took a step towards Mattie. Mattie did the same.
'Oh no, no, no!' Ginny said, suddenly jumping up from her chair and standing in front of Hermione. She had her hand out behind her as a warning to Mattie.
'Turn around and walk away,' Ginny said trying to catch Hermione's eye.
Hermione looked past Ginny and watched as Mattie smiled.
'Yeah, walk away Hermione, before you get injured for a second time on Ministry premises.'
For a second all she could concentrate on was not moving an inch until she calmed down. She could remember the only time in her life previously when she had felt the compulsion to attack someone, that time she had lost control, this time she wouldn't.
She opened her eyes, took a deep breath, smiled and turned around, and went and sat in the spot once more that she found comfort in.
~~~
'Please take the high road. You've done it all your life, why stop now?'
Ginny leant on the bookcase Hermione was staring at but didn't make a move to sit down.
'Because I can't stop staring and wondering what might have been. I keep telling myself to move on. I even told Ron that was what I was going to do but…'
She didn’t need to finish the sentence for Ginny to know what she meant.
'Like you said, you need to stop. It's a one way ticket to insanity.'
'Oh, believe me, Gin, I'm already there. Anyway, are you okay?'
Ginny shrugged. 'Not thinking about anything I don't know about.'
Hermione nodded. 'Good idea.'
'She's a good person, you know,' Ginny said, staring at the ground. 'When she was editing the book and going over the chapter where Ron wrote about you arriving back at Shell Cottage after you were captured and... tortured, she said that she wanted to make sure that every word Ron had used was good enough to describe what had happened, because what you went through then and what Ron and Harry went through listening and trying to save you deserved to have every word be perfect.
'She earned my respect instantly and we've been friends ever since. Don't get me wrong, Hermione, you're my best friend, but that doesn't mean she can't have my friendship, too. I am trying to keep the peace and my sanity in tact but I need you both to try harder. Please.'
She took her weight back on her feet and tried to smile at Hermione before turning and walking back through the office.
~~~
Twenty minutes later Hermione walked towards her desk. Ginny was curled up in a squashy arm chair Hermione presumed she had transfigured from one of the normal office chairs, Lucy was nowhere to be seen and Mattie was juggling balled up pieces of parchment with her wand.
'Um… is Lucy…'
'Otherwise engaged.'
'Oh, right.'
'How long has Ginny been asleep?'
'About ten minutes. She's… wiped out. If she hadn't fallen asleep I was going to ask if you had any chocolate left, she'd lost some colour, thought she could use the sugar.'
Hermione nodded.
'There is one more bar if anyone needs it. Are you hungry? I have some crisps if you want.'
Mattie shook her head.
'I was starving before… but now I just… feel sick.'
Hermione nodded again. She took a deep breath and started talking before her nerve left her.
'Look, Mattie, I'm sorry I've behaved badly. I don't know why, but for whatever reason you bring out every insecurity I have and it turns me into someone I don't like. But you have to know that I am not a threat to you.'
Mattie didn't take her eyes off the balls of parchment that were sailing through the air.
'Well, that's something we have in common. But…'
'But…?'
'You're always a threat, Hermione. I edited a book that was pretty much a love letter to you cleverly disguised as a tale of a year on the run. For Merlin's sake I nearly fell in love with you his words were that strong.'
Hermione smiled.
'I don't think I can ever be as good as you.'
'Mattie, you don't ever have to try at being as good as me. Surely all you have to do is be as good as you?'
'But I read how he loved you so completely and-'
'But he proposed to you.'
Mattie smiled and let the parchment fall to the ground.
'He proposed to you first. The ring on my finger was yours, how can I not see you as a threat?'
Hermione put her head in her hands.
'It was never my ring. It's Ron's ring to give to the woman he is so totally in love with that he wants to spend the rest of his days with her.' Mattie didn't respond to her words. 'Gin told me what you said about that chapter in the book... the... torture one. Maybe that's why I'm finding this so hard, because he found someone that's such a good person and understands what needs to be understood within Ron. I don't in any way want that to sound patronising, but you know what I mean. Ron loves you, Mattie. I can see that, everyone can see that, that's why he put that ring on your finger. You heard Ginny tell me that Fred... Fred was supposed to give that ring to Angelina. George made sure everything of Fred's got divided equally between the family, but he chose Ron to have that ring, to remind him that if you have nothing else, you have the ability to love. He gave you that ring because he loves you more than anything.'
'I er… I didn't know about it being Fred's ring before tonight. Ron... Ron never told me that. I knew the ring was tied to someone in the family, I just presumed it was an heirloom. Why would you try and convince me of the way he feels, though? I don't understand after everything…'
'So that all this stops. So that you stop doubting. So that my sanity and yours can return. So that I can keep my word to Ron and be civil to you again. I wasn't being and that was wrong. I wish I could be the girl in the book with the ideas and ideals that I had back then. Even after all the hurt, anger and hatred the three of us went through in that year, my optimism managed to survive. Then again, maybe I never was that girl, maybe that was just a front to protect myself. Maybe everything Ron thought was just his presumption.'
Mattie sat forward on her chair.
'I don't think that's true. I think you were the girl in the book and that you still are. But you're not that couple anymore and you know... part of me hates it because I read that book and I wanted that couple to overcome all odds from page one. But that book finished and Ron and I started writing our own history and I can't, won't apologise for a word of it.'
'You should never have to! And… I told Ginny after the first time I met you that I hated that I liked you. You're smart, you're pretty and you're good for Ron, so... yeah... We, I need to take things for what they are and we both need to move on.'
Mattie nodded. 'Well, I'm awful at accepting compliments so before I turn bright red, I think we should move on.'
Hermione smiled. 'Moving on sounds... excellent.'
~~~
The low rumbling and vibration had her heart racing before she knew exactly what was going on. She looked over to the door and she watched as the red line appeared at the bottom of the wall and made its way up.
'Harry!' Ginny exclaimed having been awoken by the vibration. She stumbled to her feet and ran through the office and out the door. Mattie started to follow her but stopped suddenly. Hermione walked over to her, dying to copy Ginny's movements but she stopped and gently placed her hand on Mattie's arm.
'What is it?'
'What if it's bad news?'
'Then you'll deal with whatever it is, but chances are there'll be nothing to deal with.'
Mattie nodded and after taking a deep breath started walking quickly through and out the office.
Lucy came and stood next to Hermione.
'Come on, it's like you said, you have a right to be worried, too.'
Lucy linked her arm through Hermione's and they followed Mattie out the door.
The Auror department was utter chaos. There were shouts and people frantically looking at maps and bits of paper. She automatically looked for Ron's desk and her heart soared when she saw him sitting on his desk. He had blood down one side of his face and his eye was starting to darken. She couldn't asses the rest of his condition because Mattie was holding him tightly.
She took a deep breath and her eyes found Ginny and Harry. Ginny was shaking in Harry's arms and Harry was sobbing into Ginny's shoulder. She knew that more things should be registering with her but only one fact seemed to stick: Harry and Ron were safe.
Without her realising it, Kingsley had arrived at her side.
'They'll be okay, they're battered and bruised and they're exhausted and they'll need all the support they can get, but… they'll get through it. I'd go into details but I'll leave that until tomorrow. I take it you were caught here when the wards came down?'
Hermione nodded. 'Did they actually get anywhere near the Ministry?'
'Were ninety-eight percent sure they didn't but there are still a couple of things we have to check.'
'But we're okay going home?' Hermione asked.
Kingsley nodded.
'Go home, have a drink and get some sleep, it's going to be crazy for the next few weeks, both of you will have to be on the ball, especially you, Miss Granger, I'll tell you more about that, tomorrow. Go home.'
Hermione nodded.
'Will do.'
Kingsley walked into the chaos in front of them. Hermione turned to Lucy.
'I have a very old bottle of red wine at home that I have been saving for an occasion that will likely never transpire. Life's to short to not drink good wine. Do you want a glass?'
'You don't want my company tonight. I'm not much fun when I'm on edge. I was safe before, hence the jovial act, but now…'
'Well then, let's be on edge together.'
Lucy nodded. 'Thanks, but are you sure you aren't needed here? The Minister said they'd need all the help they could get.' She nodded towards Harry and Ron.
Hermione looked at Harry and Ginny and then Ron and Mattie.
'They both have exactly what they need. Just give me a second.'
She walked over to Harry and Ginny and kissed the tops of both of their heads and gave their shoulders a squeeze.
She turned to Ron and Mattie. Ron's eyes were closed to everything around him but she caught Mattie's eye. Look after him she mouthed. Mattie nodded.
Hermione turned and followed Lucy out of the office not thinking about tomorrow or the days and weeks of chaos that would come, but just at the comfort of being able to go home.
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: T
Chapter Warnings: Angst, bitchiness
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 7,250
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: Bitchiness is soooooooooooooo much fun to write!
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Confrontation
'You know, I'm going to start getting offended when you're working late when I am waiting at home for you!'
Hermione frowned and then laughed at the indignant look on Ginny's face. After a second Ginny grinned. Hermione threw her quill down on to her pile of parchment and stretched her arms above her head.
'In my defence, you're going out tonight so would only be at home for half an hour before flitting off for a night of eating too much, probably drinking too much and then more... stuff with Harry which I will ask you don't go into details about, tomorrow.'
Ginny raised her eyebrows. 'I'll have you know I am a professional athlete and would never abuse my body in such ways!'
Hermione snorted and then quickly covered her mouth, surprised at how loud the noise that escaped her was.
'Gin, it's the last weekend off you have until the season finishes, and two of your last four games are against the teams who are snapping at your heels in the league table, therefore you won't be touching a drop of alcohol until after the last game of the season, and so tonight you are going to make the most of being free while you can. You forget that you do this every year and that for the past two years of you doing this you have drunkenly phoned me at three the following morning telling me how much you love me.'
'Well, you can be certain I won't be doing that this year!' Ginny exclaimed, trying to look annoyed. 'Anyway, do you know where Harry and Ron are? We checked the Auror office and they're not there.'
The 'we' registered with Hermione and her eyes flickered to the doorway and saw Mattie standing outside, her arms folded across her chest looking like she would rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment than outside Hermione's office.
'I haven't seen them all afternoon but that's nothing unusual. I haven't had any need to go into their office and they haven't come in here so... sorry, no.'
Ginny shrugged and nodded her head. 'Okay, well I'll-'
There was a small shriek from the doorway and then shouts and many, heavy footsteps thundered up the corridor. Mattie ran backwards into the office away from the commotion.
'What the hell?' Ginny said to the room before taking a few steps towards the door.
Hermione stood and gazed in confusion through the windows to the corridor. She walked out from around her desk and hurried to the door. As she reached the doorway four more people rushed down the corridor and a terrified looking woman followed them.
'Lucy!' Hermione said as the dark haired assistant fell into the wall, her eyes frantic. Hermione knew Lucy had only just started in the Department of Magical Law, having left Hogwarts a few weeks ago and could see she had never experienced Aurors running full pelt through the corridors. She had never experienced it in this Ministry, but it had happened a few times during her time in Paris. She knew how unnerving it was and until she knew what was going on she wouldn't be calm.
'Hermione! They just started running! What's going on?'
'Hey, calm down, there'll be some kind of emergency and they'll need to be somewhere quickly. Is there anyone else in your office?'
Lucy shook her head. 'N…no, I had one last piece of paperwork to finish and I was the last one there.'
'Okay, well if you want to go and get it and stay in here with me then-.'
A low pitched siren started up and Hermione felt the ground vibrate under her feet. A red line appeared at the top of the doorway in front of her and she watched as it quickly moved towards the floor. She grabbed Lucy's arm and pulled her into the office before she was buffeted into the corridor.
'Well, I suppose we're staying here for a while.'
'What?' shrieked Mattie from behind her. 'What just happened?'
'The security wards just covered the whole building. Whatever room, office or toilet you're in, you're staying in until they're lifted.'
'So we're stuck here?' Mattie shrieked again. 'Why? Why would they do that?'
'Generally, when the security wards come down, it's because there's a security issue.'
Hermione hoped her tone had conveyed that Mattie was asking a rather silly question.
'What type of security issue?'
Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Lucy.
'Did you hear anything before you came in here? Any snippets of conversations? Shouted words?'
Hermione put her hand on Lucy's shoulder to try and calm her down.
'Um, I think… I think I heard… heard the words… D-Death Eater… but surely… surely not!'
Hermione suppressed the shudder that threatened to fill every cell of her body.
'Probably copycat people trying to ride the coat tails of a memory that hasn't faded yet. Don't panic. They have to check everything out and they have to be overly cautious, hence the wards and the lock down. Chances are we won't be stuck here long we just have to sit it out. We're not going to find out anything by worrying.'
'It might be the reason why Harry and Ron weren't in their office, though,' Ginny said quietly.
Hermione shrugged and started walking back to her desk, suddenly hungry and thankful that she had a stash of chocolate bars and bags of crisps in one of her desk drawers.
'So, we're stuck until they sort out what's going on?' Lucy said, her voice a little firmer now that she was safe inside a warded room.
'Yep!' Hermione replied as she landed in her chair.
'Stuck is not good.'
Hermione didn't look up at Mattie, she knew that ignoring her probably wasn't going to be an option for the entire time they were in the office, but she would try and do it for as long as possible.
'Well, we are stuck,' Lucy replied as she walked over to Hermione's desk and perched on the edge.
'Stop saying that word! I'm claustrophobic! I can't cope with small spaces!' Hermione managed not to roll her eyes.
'But we're not in a small space!' Lucy replied slowly. Hermione smiled and picked up the piece of parchment she had been working on before Ginny had arrived.
'We can't get OUT! Therefore it's an enclosed SPACE!'
Hermione glared at Mattie.
'Don't shout at her!'
Mattie turned and glared at Hermione. She opened her mouth to say something. Hermione raised her eyebrows as a sort of warning. Mattie turned and stormed to the door. She raised her hands and banged on the glass looking out onto the corridor.
'Well, I think I can say with some certainty the next hour is going to be pretty uncomfortable, wouldn't you agree, Lucy?'
Lucy snorted and walked to the nearest desk to Hermione's. She dragged the chair from behind it and set it in front of Hermione's desk. Hermione looked up at Ginny who was looking at her with a frown on her face. She turned and walked over to Mattie and started talking to her quietly.
'Are you okay?' Hermione asked Lucy.
Lucy nodded. 'Yeah, it was just a bit shocking seeing all those big professional crime fighters look terrified as they ran through the place. Just brought back… memories… you know?'
Hermione nodded. 'Believe me, I know.'
Lucy nodded and leant back in her chair. 'Do you need any help with anything? I may as well be useful while I'm here.'
'Is filing to tedious for you? I was going to leave it until next week but if you don't mind…'
Lucy shrugged. 'It can't be any more tedious than not doing anything. What am I filing?'
Hermione talked Lucy through the stack of parchment she'd had to put on the floor for fear of it falling off her desk and making a difficult job impossible. There was cross referencing to do of case notes and index cards to update as she filed. Thankfully Lucy caught on to the system quickly and took to the task enthusiastically.
A few minutes later Ginny walked over to Hermione's desk.
'Do you have something sugary? Some chocolate or something? I think it's best Mattie gets some sugar inside her before she passes out.'
Hermione knew she was being childish when her first reaction was to deny Mattie some of her chocolate, but as Ginny's eyebrow started to rise slowly she turned and tapped her desk drawer with her wand. It sprung open and she took one of her two bars of Honeyduke's dark chocolate out and handed it to Ginny.
'Thank you,' Ginny said without a smile.
Hermione looked at her stash of unhealthy snack food and decided she would try and wait as long as possible before she started eating.
'If I pretend to be claustrophobic can I have some chocolate, too?'
A smile pulled at Hermione's mouth but she managed not to laugh.
'I have a stash of crisps should you get hungry later. I'm trying to hold out as long as possible though. Kinda like when you need to-.'
'Oh Merlin, you did not just inadvertently bring peeing up when there is nowhere we can! Well, in private anyway…'
'Lucy!'
'What? You brought it up!'
'Inadvertently! Anyway, you're a smart witch I'm sure you'll be able to compromise! Just… as far away from my desk as possible!'
Lucy laughed out loud. 'I'll be sure to find the furthest point away from your desk as physically possible.'
'And never mention it again!'
'I think that is a given, Hermione, this is hardly something I want bringing up at the office Christmas party!'
~~~
'How long have we been in here?'
Hermione had her eyes closed and she had reclined her chair backwards and propped her feet on the edge of her desk.
'Thirty… seven minutes,' Ginny replied to Mattie's question.
'Is that all? Feels like we've been in here hours.'
'Yes, it does, doesn't it,' Hermione replied to herself. Lucy snorted and Hermione opened her eyes to see her colleague grinning from her seat on another desk.
'Hermione, you're not the type of person to have alcohol hidden in the bottom drawer of your desk alongside your stash of crisps, are you?' Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at Lucy. 'Didn't think so,' Lucy said in reply to Hermione's look.
'Do you really think alcohol is the solution to this problem? Ginny asked the parchment she was drawing Quidditch formations on.
'It's definitely not a solution but it will help me cope with the problem a little better. Do you reckon Accio would work?' she asked as she turned towards Hermione.
Hermione raised her eyebrows and was about to answer when Mattie beat her to it.
'I suppose it would work as long as drawers aren't locked. What's the worst that could happen?'
'Really? What's the worst that could happen?' Hermione asked in response to Mattie's words.
'This is why I need a drink! Accio alcohol!'
'No! Wait!' Hermione cried as a series of thuds preceded nine glass bottles flying through the air straight at Lucy.
Hermione jumped from her seat, ran around her desk and grabbed her wand off the table before shouting 'Protego!' The air shifted in front of Lucy and the semi transparent barrier shimmered around her. The nine bottles bounced off the shield and fell towards the floor. Ginny launched herself sideways from her seating position and, while catching the largest bottle filled with amber liquid in her left hand as it ricocheted off Hermione's shield, she shouted 'Pulminartis!' and the rest of the bottles landed softly on her cushioning charm.
After a few seconds Hermione's shield charm disappeared and her arm fell to her side.
'Um… oops!' Lucy said, turning round and looking at Ginny lying on her back, bottle raised off the ground and Hermione looking shocked.
'What's the worst that could happen?' Hermione shrieked, glaring at Lucy and then Mattie.
'Admittedly that was probably not the best idea. Thank you, Hermione, for saving my nose from being rearranged and thank you, Ginny for saving the biggest bottle of alcohol that came out of a Ministry Employee’s unlocked desk.'
'You're welcome as long as I'm the first to drink from the damn thing. Someone conjure some glasses while I stand up.' Lucy stepped over the other bottles that had slowly lowered to the floor thanks to Ginny's charm and offered her hand out to Ginny. Ginny took it and was pulled to her feet.
'When you play Quidditch, you don't normally throw yourself off your broom to catch the Quaffle, do you?' Lucy asked with a look of concern.
'No, I don't. Generally brooms move with you, whereas chairs stay firmly where they are.'
'Good, because that would make an already ridiculous game, stupid.'
'Do you want this alcohol to meet the floor at speed?'
'Um… no… sorry, I'll shut up about Quidditch. Thank you for the alcohol saving heroics and please have the first drink from the very full bottle.'
She waved her wand which she had picked up from Hermione's desk and a short glass appeared in her hand. She handed it to Ginny.
'Can I just point out how much alcohol appeared from that one spell?' Mattie said. 'And that's not counting the many, many thuds that indicated how much is still trapped in locked drawers! Is the whole of the Department of Magical Law an alcoholic waiting to happen?' Mattie propped her feet on the edge of the nearest desk and folded her arms across her chest.
'Please don't accuse my colleagues of being alcoholics. You have no idea the things they have to see on a daily basis. Just because the war's over doesn't mean that all horrific things have been irradiated from the world.'
Her words had been quite but firm.
'I… I wasn't judging, but you have to admit it's a lot of alcohol in one office.'
Hermione didn't answer but turned to sit back down at her desk. She picked up her quill and carried on the notes she had been taking before the alcohol incident. A couple of minutes later a glass appeared in front of her with a healthy measure - of what she presumed was Firewhisky - in it.
'Something tells me you'll need that,' Lucy said quietly.
She wasn't wrong.
~~~
'What's the connection between a Killer Whale, a Koala Bear, a Starfish and a Polecat?'
Lucy was lying along the desk closest to Hermione's with her head dangling over the edge and her feet pointing towards the ceiling. Without looking up from her parchment Hermione answered Lucy's question.
'They're not what their names suggest they are.'
Lucy turned her head towards Hermione.
'It's impossible to feel intelligent with you in the room, isn't it?'
Hermione snorted at Lucy's comment.
'I'm so sorry, I'll just keep drinking until I kill some brain cells, shall I?'
'If you would!'
'For those of us who aren't quite as intelligent as the Department of Magical Law's new teacher's pet,' Mattie said as she stared into her glass. Hermione ignored the jibe but a wave of anger surged through her. She picked up her glass and downed the contents. She didn't feel guilty about drinking yet, it was only her second glass, 'would you please explain to us lesser beings the answer to the question?'
Lucy stared at the ceiling and while she pointed and flexed her toes she answered.
'Certainly! They are not what their names suggest they are because a Polecat is not a cat, it is a weasel, a Killer Whale is in fact the largest member of the dolphin family, a Koala Bear is a marsupial and a Starfish is in no way a fish but an echinoderm.'
'Wow, every day really is a school day!' Mattie said before filling up her empty glass once more.
Hermione had flinched at her words. She knew where Mattie had got that phrase from; it was the same place she got it from.
'Where on earth did you get that from?' Ginny asked from her position on the floor.
'I am a fountain of random knowledge!' Lucy replied as she sat up and turned to face Ginny.
'Or you watched television last night and got it off a slightly pretentious but brilliant game show.'
'Oh come on! I was so close to pulling off intelligent!'
Hermione grinned.
'You could have let her have her moment of glory! We're not all ridiculously intelligent!' Mattie had a smile on her face as she said the words but it slipped when she turned to Hermione.
Hermione closed her eyes and put her quill and parchment down on the desk. She stood and took her glass with her as she started walking towards the back of the office.
'Oh so now you're going to go and sit on your own and ignore us all?'
Hermione turned and glared at Mattie.
'Yes, because if I don't I may actually give you the satisfaction of calling you a bitch and if there is something I do not want to do it is give you any satisfaction whatsoever. I really was trying to be civil to you but I think I'll stop now. It's not worth the stress or toll on my ridiculously intelligent brain.'
She turned and stalked to the other end of the office, and sat herself in the furthest corner from her desk. She sat on the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees. She sighed and let her head drop onto her arms wishing she could be anywhere but in the same room as the woman who had everything she ever wanted.
~~~
'Come and sit with us. I hate you being back here, brooding about… everything.'
Ginny sat heavily next to Hermione and rested her head against her shoulder.
'Did you know that this spot is exactly above the centre of the rotating room in the Department of Mysteries? I don't know why, especially since we've been through so much other stuff since but… recently I've found myself thinking about our adventures down there and how… how that was the first time I truly believed that I could die. I know being Harry's best friend was always dangerous but the danger was never aimed at me. I was never the person who the spells were aimed at, I was never the person who had a psychotic wizard hell-bent on killing me and with Dumbledore there I truly believed none of us could be harmed. But here… we were so far away from what we knew was safe and we were six teenagers fighting Death Eaters! How the hell none of us died, I-… I mean, I didn't mean-'
'I know what you meant, it's okay.'
'Do you know… well I never told you so I don't think you know but Ron might have told you…' She took a deep breath and let her head fall against the wall behind her. 'The curse that I was hit with… that day… the time I was unconscious, I was stuck in my head. I was… somewhere, maybe between life and death, I don't know. I felt compos mentis, I thought that I was wandering around a black room and I… I shouted for someone to help me, but I eventually figured out that it wasn't real and that I might be dead or dying and… I hated that I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to anyone. My parents, my friends… Ron…'
She took a deep breath and a tear fell down her cheek.
'I didn't know that I loved him, I was sixteen years old! I didn't know about anything really! Not in comparison to what we learned during the war about loss and love and life. But… I knew that there was something about him that was special and I needed to have him near me until I figured out what the hell was going on.'
'So…' Ginny said quietly, 'I know I've asked you this once before but you didn't answer it properly… when he proposed, why did you say no? He was giving you all that you wanted and you said… no.'
Hermione smiled and leant her head against Ginny's.
'Now it seems ridiculous. Believe me, I know, but… I was scared. We were so young and we barely saw each other. We'd never had time to be an 'us' you know? The war ended and he went to work and I went to school and then I went to France. We'd never really been a proper couple and part of me was scared that when we had the chance to spend proper time together and live together and learn everything there was to know about each other that I'd… I'd fall short of his expectations or I'd annoy him constantly or we'd end up hating each other and I… I got terrified. And I didn't say no. I told him that I wanted to marry him and I wanted us to be together just that I wanted to wait.'
She felt Ginny nod.
'I didn't even let myself look at the ring because I wanted to see it for the first time when I knew I was going to say yes…'
Ginny lifted her head and Hermione looked at her.
'You didn't even see the ring?'
'Did you?'
'Yeah… Do you remember the story I told you about George giving Ron the ring that Fred was going to give to Angelina after the war?'
Realisation slid into Hermione's brain.
'It was… he was going to give me… Fred's… ring…'
'Yeah…'
A second realisation bumped into the first.
'It's Mattie's ring now, isn't it?'
'Um… yeah… it is… I nearly fell off my chair when she showed it me but… it's Ron's choice and he chose to give it her.'
Hermione nodded and refused to let any more tears fall from her eyes. Footsteps filled her ears.
'Er, Gin?'
Mattie's voice made her sit up and hastily look for her drink on the floor.
'Yeah?' Ginny replied with a smile.
'I think your phone just beeped.'
'Phones!' Hermione yelled. She scrambled to her feet and Ginny pulled on her flailing hand to get herself on the floor. 'How did I forget we both had a mobile phone?'
She ran to her desk and grabbed her bag off the floor. She plunged her hand into the mess that she had told herself she had to clear out on numerous occasion and after what felt like hours her hand found the hard plastic of the device she craved.
She looked over at Ginny who was fumbling with the keys on her phone. She looked down at her phone and willed it to come to life. She never relied on her mobile phone because it was so unreliable around any form of magic. She found that the older the phone, the more robust it was to the interference but it was still hit and miss. She held down the power button and prayed the something would happen. But her attention was diverted when Ginny collapsed into the chair behind her.
'No…' she whispered. 'No, Harry… no.'
She had only heard one thing more terrible come from Ginny than those words in that desperate tone, and that was when Hagrid had carried Harry out of the forest on that fateful night. She looked at Ginny and all the colour had drained from her face. She was aware of Lucy and Mattie moving around her but she only had eyes for her best friend and the obvious terror that was invading her. She walked to her, dropping her phone on the desk as she went and knelt down in front of her.
She put her hands on her shoulder and looked at her.
'Gin?' she said quietly, 'Gin, what does it say?'
Ginny raised her eyes to Hermione's and pushed the phone towards her. Hermione didn't take the phone from her but glanced down at the illuminated screen. Upside down she read the words, I love you, forever and eternity.
From Ginny's earlier exclamation she knew the message was from Harry, but she had no idea why Ginny had reacted so badly. Ginny had received plenty of 'I love you's from Harry in the past, via owl, floo and her muggle mobile phone but never had she seen this reaction. There was something she didn't understand.
'Ginny, what's going on? Apart from what he said, what does that message mean?'
Ginny swallowed hard and her eyes moved from the phone to Hermione, back to the phone and finally staying locked on Hermione. She cleared her throat but the sound that came out was quieter then Hermione had ever heard come out of her best friend. This terrified her more than anything.
'A couple of years ago Harry had been in the heart of training with Ron and they came back to their flat and I've never seen either of them so shaken since the end of the war.' She took a shaky breath but still stared at Hermione as if looking at her was the only way she could focus. 'I only managed to get the bare minimum out of them but apparently… they were called into a situation… even as juniors who weren't fully qualified because they needed every wand available. Anyway, as it turns out by the time they'd got there the drama was over, but they were charged with finding the Aurors who were missing. There was one guy who they didn't find for twenty minutes or so. They were in woods and they spanned for miles and when they found him… well he'd lost so much blood he had no colour and he told them he was dying. They wanted to apparated him to the hospital but the man - Daniel his name was - told them he only had a few minutes left… that he could feel… it.
'They tried to persuade him but he told them in no uncertain terms that he was not going to die in hospital, he was going to die on his own terms and that was staring through the trees at the sky, comforted by the warm breeze and the wisps of clouds above him, waiting for the inevitable to happen. He er… he also wanted to make sure that Harry got a message to his wife and… their daughter. Neither Ron nor Harry ever told me what the message was, I was lucky to get all that I've just said out of them, I wasn't going to get anything else.
'I stayed over that night and about three in the morning I needed to pee but Harry wasn't in his bed. I walked through to the lounge and stopped when I heard them talking. I know I shouldn't have listened or I should have made myself heard but… I just couldn't. I needed to hear what was tearing them both apart. Harry was nearly in tears and he said to Ron that…'
She swallowed hard and Hermione squeezed her shoulders encouraging her to continue. Tears appeared in her eyes but she kept on talking.
'Harry said to Ron that he never wanted his last 'I love you' to me to come from a complete stranger. He was sitting there just thinking out loud the different ways he could think of that would stop it happening. Ron seemed… it was like he wanted to slap Harry to get him to calm down and snap out of it, but he just let him talk and work out what he needed to. Eventually he remembered that he had a phone and he could pre-save messages in it. He even went so far as to start memorising the shortcuts to send the message without having to look at his phone. It was only a short combination, it wouldn't have taken him long. Ron asked what he would have as his last message and Harry replied with…'
The tears fell from her eyes and her head dropped. Hermione moved so she was side on to the chair and pulled Ginny into a hug. Ginny sobbed into Hermione's shoulder and Hermione felt her own eyes burn with tears.
'But what does that mean? It can't mean…'
Hermione ignored Mattie's words and stroked Ginny's back trying to give her some sort of comfort.
'If they're in trouble there's no way Harry would have had time to send a text so maybe… whatever's he said in that message… what did he say?'
Ginny gave a particularly loud sob. Hermione heard the phone drop to the floor and felt Ginny's arms around her clinging on as if for her life. She heard Mattie move around her and knew she had picked up the phone off the floor.
'So… so what does this mean?'
Hermione closed her eyes and tried to think logically but she couldn't help but think the worst. She knew that if Harry was in danger, Ron was in danger; when it really mattered they never left each other's side.
'It's not supposed to be like this,' Ginny whispered.
Hermione pulled back, she had to find a way to keep some sort of optimism in her and Ginny's heart until they knew exactly what was going on.
'Hey, Gin, we don't know what's happening, do we? It's entirely plausible that Harry thought that things were going to turn out… bad but they didn't. He doesn't know that you know what that text could mean, does he? So as far as he knows he's just made your day that little bit brighter, so there's no reason for him to follow it up with reassurance that he's fine because all he did was tell you he loved you.'
Ginny opened her mouth to argue but Hermione cut her off.
'I know! I know that there is a chance that they're not okay and that thought is… suffocating, I can't even begin to think that he won't… that neither of them…' she shook her head to make herself concentrate on her point and not the horror that threatened to overwhelm her, 'but for the minute we both have to believe that they're okay.'
She wiped the tears off Ginny's face and looked her in the eye until Ginny looked at her.
'Okay?' she said once more, her voice firmer.
Ginny nodded and took a shaky breath.
'Well as long as you two are calm and fine then I guess that's all that matters!'
Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. She stood up and turned to lean on her desk.
'Mattie, I-'
'You know, I don't know if you've noticed but there are other people in the world who have the right to be shit scared right now. My fiancé is missing and I have no idea what the hell is going on and you're sitting there like you're the only one who cares about him!'
'Really? You're playing the 'I have more right to be worried' card? Do you actually want to play that game?'
'Well, I seem to be winning everything else so I think I'll try this one as well.'
'Winning? You think this is all a game?'
'Well, it's better than thinking it's a fairy tale with only one pre-destined happily ever after!'
'Okay, I'm not going to even consider replying to that because it is ridiculous, but I am going to tell you exactly why I have every right to be worried about my two best friends. I-… you know what? I'm not going to. I’m not going to stand here and justify my worry because I have every right to feel the way I feel.'
'Heh! Saying no? You're good at that, I suppose.'
Hermione prided herself on being able to walk away from a potentially volatile situation but this time she couldn't. She set her jaw and took a step towards Mattie. Mattie did the same.
'Oh no, no, no!' Ginny said, suddenly jumping up from her chair and standing in front of Hermione. She had her hand out behind her as a warning to Mattie.
'Turn around and walk away,' Ginny said trying to catch Hermione's eye.
Hermione looked past Ginny and watched as Mattie smiled.
'Yeah, walk away Hermione, before you get injured for a second time on Ministry premises.'
For a second all she could concentrate on was not moving an inch until she calmed down. She could remember the only time in her life previously when she had felt the compulsion to attack someone, that time she had lost control, this time she wouldn't.
She opened her eyes, took a deep breath, smiled and turned around, and went and sat in the spot once more that she found comfort in.
~~~
'Please take the high road. You've done it all your life, why stop now?'
Ginny leant on the bookcase Hermione was staring at but didn't make a move to sit down.
'Because I can't stop staring and wondering what might have been. I keep telling myself to move on. I even told Ron that was what I was going to do but…'
She didn’t need to finish the sentence for Ginny to know what she meant.
'Like you said, you need to stop. It's a one way ticket to insanity.'
'Oh, believe me, Gin, I'm already there. Anyway, are you okay?'
Ginny shrugged. 'Not thinking about anything I don't know about.'
Hermione nodded. 'Good idea.'
'She's a good person, you know,' Ginny said, staring at the ground. 'When she was editing the book and going over the chapter where Ron wrote about you arriving back at Shell Cottage after you were captured and... tortured, she said that she wanted to make sure that every word Ron had used was good enough to describe what had happened, because what you went through then and what Ron and Harry went through listening and trying to save you deserved to have every word be perfect.
'She earned my respect instantly and we've been friends ever since. Don't get me wrong, Hermione, you're my best friend, but that doesn't mean she can't have my friendship, too. I am trying to keep the peace and my sanity in tact but I need you both to try harder. Please.'
She took her weight back on her feet and tried to smile at Hermione before turning and walking back through the office.
~~~
Twenty minutes later Hermione walked towards her desk. Ginny was curled up in a squashy arm chair Hermione presumed she had transfigured from one of the normal office chairs, Lucy was nowhere to be seen and Mattie was juggling balled up pieces of parchment with her wand.
'Um… is Lucy…'
'Otherwise engaged.'
'Oh, right.'
'How long has Ginny been asleep?'
'About ten minutes. She's… wiped out. If she hadn't fallen asleep I was going to ask if you had any chocolate left, she'd lost some colour, thought she could use the sugar.'
Hermione nodded.
'There is one more bar if anyone needs it. Are you hungry? I have some crisps if you want.'
Mattie shook her head.
'I was starving before… but now I just… feel sick.'
Hermione nodded again. She took a deep breath and started talking before her nerve left her.
'Look, Mattie, I'm sorry I've behaved badly. I don't know why, but for whatever reason you bring out every insecurity I have and it turns me into someone I don't like. But you have to know that I am not a threat to you.'
Mattie didn't take her eyes off the balls of parchment that were sailing through the air.
'Well, that's something we have in common. But…'
'But…?'
'You're always a threat, Hermione. I edited a book that was pretty much a love letter to you cleverly disguised as a tale of a year on the run. For Merlin's sake I nearly fell in love with you his words were that strong.'
Hermione smiled.
'I don't think I can ever be as good as you.'
'Mattie, you don't ever have to try at being as good as me. Surely all you have to do is be as good as you?'
'But I read how he loved you so completely and-'
'But he proposed to you.'
Mattie smiled and let the parchment fall to the ground.
'He proposed to you first. The ring on my finger was yours, how can I not see you as a threat?'
Hermione put her head in her hands.
'It was never my ring. It's Ron's ring to give to the woman he is so totally in love with that he wants to spend the rest of his days with her.' Mattie didn't respond to her words. 'Gin told me what you said about that chapter in the book... the... torture one. Maybe that's why I'm finding this so hard, because he found someone that's such a good person and understands what needs to be understood within Ron. I don't in any way want that to sound patronising, but you know what I mean. Ron loves you, Mattie. I can see that, everyone can see that, that's why he put that ring on your finger. You heard Ginny tell me that Fred... Fred was supposed to give that ring to Angelina. George made sure everything of Fred's got divided equally between the family, but he chose Ron to have that ring, to remind him that if you have nothing else, you have the ability to love. He gave you that ring because he loves you more than anything.'
'I er… I didn't know about it being Fred's ring before tonight. Ron... Ron never told me that. I knew the ring was tied to someone in the family, I just presumed it was an heirloom. Why would you try and convince me of the way he feels, though? I don't understand after everything…'
'So that all this stops. So that you stop doubting. So that my sanity and yours can return. So that I can keep my word to Ron and be civil to you again. I wasn't being and that was wrong. I wish I could be the girl in the book with the ideas and ideals that I had back then. Even after all the hurt, anger and hatred the three of us went through in that year, my optimism managed to survive. Then again, maybe I never was that girl, maybe that was just a front to protect myself. Maybe everything Ron thought was just his presumption.'
Mattie sat forward on her chair.
'I don't think that's true. I think you were the girl in the book and that you still are. But you're not that couple anymore and you know... part of me hates it because I read that book and I wanted that couple to overcome all odds from page one. But that book finished and Ron and I started writing our own history and I can't, won't apologise for a word of it.'
'You should never have to! And… I told Ginny after the first time I met you that I hated that I liked you. You're smart, you're pretty and you're good for Ron, so... yeah... We, I need to take things for what they are and we both need to move on.'
Mattie nodded. 'Well, I'm awful at accepting compliments so before I turn bright red, I think we should move on.'
Hermione smiled. 'Moving on sounds... excellent.'
~~~
The low rumbling and vibration had her heart racing before she knew exactly what was going on. She looked over to the door and she watched as the red line appeared at the bottom of the wall and made its way up.
'Harry!' Ginny exclaimed having been awoken by the vibration. She stumbled to her feet and ran through the office and out the door. Mattie started to follow her but stopped suddenly. Hermione walked over to her, dying to copy Ginny's movements but she stopped and gently placed her hand on Mattie's arm.
'What is it?'
'What if it's bad news?'
'Then you'll deal with whatever it is, but chances are there'll be nothing to deal with.'
Mattie nodded and after taking a deep breath started walking quickly through and out the office.
Lucy came and stood next to Hermione.
'Come on, it's like you said, you have a right to be worried, too.'
Lucy linked her arm through Hermione's and they followed Mattie out the door.
The Auror department was utter chaos. There were shouts and people frantically looking at maps and bits of paper. She automatically looked for Ron's desk and her heart soared when she saw him sitting on his desk. He had blood down one side of his face and his eye was starting to darken. She couldn't asses the rest of his condition because Mattie was holding him tightly.
She took a deep breath and her eyes found Ginny and Harry. Ginny was shaking in Harry's arms and Harry was sobbing into Ginny's shoulder. She knew that more things should be registering with her but only one fact seemed to stick: Harry and Ron were safe.
Without her realising it, Kingsley had arrived at her side.
'They'll be okay, they're battered and bruised and they're exhausted and they'll need all the support they can get, but… they'll get through it. I'd go into details but I'll leave that until tomorrow. I take it you were caught here when the wards came down?'
Hermione nodded. 'Did they actually get anywhere near the Ministry?'
'Were ninety-eight percent sure they didn't but there are still a couple of things we have to check.'
'But we're okay going home?' Hermione asked.
Kingsley nodded.
'Go home, have a drink and get some sleep, it's going to be crazy for the next few weeks, both of you will have to be on the ball, especially you, Miss Granger, I'll tell you more about that, tomorrow. Go home.'
Hermione nodded.
'Will do.'
Kingsley walked into the chaos in front of them. Hermione turned to Lucy.
'I have a very old bottle of red wine at home that I have been saving for an occasion that will likely never transpire. Life's to short to not drink good wine. Do you want a glass?'
'You don't want my company tonight. I'm not much fun when I'm on edge. I was safe before, hence the jovial act, but now…'
'Well then, let's be on edge together.'
Lucy nodded. 'Thanks, but are you sure you aren't needed here? The Minister said they'd need all the help they could get.' She nodded towards Harry and Ron.
Hermione looked at Harry and Ginny and then Ron and Mattie.
'They both have exactly what they need. Just give me a second.'
She walked over to Harry and Ginny and kissed the tops of both of their heads and gave their shoulders a squeeze.
She turned to Ron and Mattie. Ron's eyes were closed to everything around him but she caught Mattie's eye. Look after him she mouthed. Mattie nodded.
Hermione turned and followed Lucy out of the office not thinking about tomorrow or the days and weeks of chaos that would come, but just at the comfort of being able to go home.