Leaning Slightly to the Left | HG | Rated: T
Title: Leaning Slightly to the Left: Chapter 5
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: T
Chapter Warnings: Angst, bitchiness
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 10,289
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: You trust me, yes?
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Redirection
'Hermione, the Minister wants to see you in his office.'
She had jumped at the voice because she was so immersed in the research she was doing for her assignment that she hadn't noticed her colleague, who looked very overworked, walk up to her desk.
'The... Minister?' she asked, trying to engage her brain in the conversation.
'For Magic,' her colleague said, a hint of humour in her voice.
Those words woke her brain up.
'Kings-... er, Minister Shacklebolt wants to see me?
'Apparently so.' She tucked her hair behind her ears and started walking away from Hermione's desk
'Oh. Right. Okay. Right.'
She blotted her quill and shuffled the parchment so it was in a neat pile. She stood and made sure her robes were straight. She left the office and called the lift. As she rode the lift to the top floor she started to feel nervous. As much as the Minister always made a point of greeting her when they met at the Ministry either in the office or the corridor and he had been more than happy to accept her back in to his workforce, he was still the Minister for Magic and the most senior boss she had.
The lift doors opened and she walked through the reception area. She smiled at Coop - Rosemary Cooper, PA to the Minister - who smiled back at her.
Instantly Hermione felt more relaxed. Harry had told her that if Coop was smiling, then the Minister was happy.
'You're to go straight in, Miss Granger, the Minister is expecting you.'
'Oh, okay. Thank you.'
Her smile went back to nervous and she knocked lightly on the door before stepping inside. She shut the door behind her before turning with the same nervous smile and walked towards the Minister's desk and, of course, the Minister.
'Good afternoon, Miss Granger. I trust you are settled in now?'
Kingsley gestured towards the chair and Hermione answered his question with a nod as she pulled out the chair and sat down.
'Yes, thank you, everyone's been very helpful.'
'Good. As much as I was proud that you were working in the French Ministry as a representative of us over there, I'm rather happy you've come back to us.'
Hermione could feel herself blushing but she smiled and tried to keep eye contact with her most senior boss without looking away too often.
'Thank you,' she replied quietly.
'Now, I've heard on the grapevine that you are seriously considering the possibility of completing all your junior assignments ahead of time and applying for an assistant's post earlier than normal.'
Hermione frowned. The grapevine? She had only told one person and she didn't think Ron would shout any detail about her professional life around his or her office.
'I... er... I only told one person that it had crossed my mind. I hadn't made any decision or even worked out if I could do it-.'
Kingsley raised his hand and she stopped talking. He smirked.
'Ron simply asked if it would be possible for something like the scenario you had thought about to happen. I told him that it has happened but not for a couple of decades or so. There may be a few raised eyebrows but I try to make it our philosophy that it doesn't matter who or what can do any job here, as long as they do it as well as they should. Should you wish to look at these,' he opened a drawer Hermione couldn't see and pulled out a stack of parchment a couple of inches thick, 'then you are more than welcome to take them away with you today.'
She opened her mouth to speak but found she didn't know what to say.
'Before you protest this will be seen as favouritism, well, maybe it will by some, but they will have me to answer to if they step out of line.'
'It will be seen that way, though, won't it? I mean, I'm a good friend of Harry's and people will talk that I'm getting special treatment because of that.'
Kingsley nodded slowly and leaned back in his chair.
'Hermione, I can't sit here and argue that rules weren't bent to let Harry, Ron and Neville join the Auror programme when none of them had the correct qualifications, but I wanted them here because they had shown that they had the strength of character, the willingness to learn, the want to do well in what they do and, more importantly, their fight for what they believe in. If you had wanted to join them, you would be with them at work, now.'
Hermione's stomach squirmed, she had thought about what taking that specific decision would have done to her life path and hated that it could have led her to her happily ever after. Then again, her sanity may not have survived the Auror programme.
'However, considering the Head of the Department of Magical Law wanted you to work for her so badly that she was devastated when the French Ministry asked you to work in Paris, there will be no word of favouritism around here. It was she who got the assignments for you within five minutes of me mentioning this whole thing to her. She thinks it's a brilliant idea and she's looking forward to see how it works out.'
'No pressure then!' she said with a small smile. Kingsley laughed out loud. 'Christine really didn't want me to go to France?'
'She knew that for your career it was the perfect opportunity to stretch yourself but she'd been keeping an eye on you through your final year and when your N.E.W.T results came in your name was on the enrolment forms before you knew anything about it.'
Hermione took a deep breath and felt her face go red.
'She was one of the reasons I wanted to get into Magical Law. When all the rebuilding of everything was going on she was so driven and determined to make sure justice was served and to get laws passed that were fair.'
Kingsley nodded. 'She's a remarkable woman and has been my friend for many years. When I became Minister quite a few people stopped being able to tell me what they thought because they were scared of the position I held, but you can rest assured that if I start abusing my power she will take her foot to my arse faster than I can blink.'
Hermione laughed out loud. 'Well, not wishing to sound like I'm sucking up to the Minister for Magic, but I don't think that will ever happen.'
Kingsley shuffled the pile of assignments into a neat pile and handed them to Hermione. 'Let's hope you're right, Hermione.'
She took the papers and stood up. Kingsley followed her to the door.
'Thank you again for these, Minister.'
'You're welcome and good luck.'
...oooOOOooo...
She knew she should have gone home at half five like the rest of her colleagues but the new assignments had drawn her in and she was researching the first one well after hours. It was ten to nine and she was hungry, well she had been hungry but she had passed the stage where it was bothering her. Harry had stuck his head around the door when he hadn't seen her pass the Auror office on her way home and had rolled his eyes when she gave half-hearted excuses to his pleas for her to leave her work and go home.
He had told her that he would drop some dinner off at Ginny's flat if she promised to be home before midnight. She had thanked him and smiled at him and when she promised him she would be home before midnight he left with a chuckle and a wave.
At nine o'clock she decided she had put off eating for long enough and packed up her things into her bag. She left the assignments locked in her desk drawer so she would have some sort of 'down time' when she got home. Well, as much as her brain would allow her. She knew she would catch herself thinking about her work at numerous times during the evening, but she was used to this and after a couple of years of work she managed to learn how to relax her mind despite the invasion of work thoughts.
The lanterns dimmed automatically as she walked out of the office and made her way along the corridor. She automatically turned her head to the right and looked through the windows to the Auror department. She was a little shocked to see one lantern lit in the place where she knew Ron's desk was.
She hadn't forgotten her annoyance at Ron's interference with her work, regardless of the fact that she had dived headfirst into her new assignments. She was adamant that it should have been her decision to ask the question and test the water, not Ron's.
Irritated but determined not to fight with him any more she walked through the office and stopped a few metres from his desk. He looked up and then got back to his writing. He held out his hand to acknowledge her presence but let her know he was in the middle of something.
She leant against one of the boards with parchment pinned to it haphazardously and waited for him to finish. He stabbed his parchment and threw his quill down.
'Pinning down a thought before it got away?' she asked with a smirk.
He gave her a half smile. 'Yeah, actually. I have to admit it's nothing to do with work, I got... inspired about...' he checked the clock on the wall, 'Merlin, about three hours ago.'
He shuffled the parchment on his desk and Hermione smiled as he piled his muse inspired writing together.
'I tried for years to get you enthused in writing and when you finally get into it I'm never here to see it happen.'
He smiled and blotted his quill before putting it in his drawer. Hermione frowned momentarily as she thought she recognised the quill he was putting away. She thought it looked like the one she had bought him when the publisher had finally agreed to publish Ron's book.
Despite the want and apparent need for a tale about Harry Potter's year on the run, people were sceptical that Ron Weasley could write what they wanted. Hermione knew they would want every one of his words when they had read the first chapter and when everyone had signed all the dotted lines necessary, Hermione had bought him a quill with Right Hand Man, by Ronald Weasley inscribed up the feather. She knew it was foolish to presume he still used it, but she was damn sure she had just seen it.
'So... is it still the fiction that's capturing your imagination? Or something else?'
He nodded. 'Still the fiction. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I think it's the worst thing ever written, but I thought that during Right Hand Man so I don't take my opinion too seriously.'
She tilted her head to the side. 'If I remember rightly, you judged what you wrote on whether it was truthful or not. I know it's different with fiction, because it's just that, but... if you keep your characters true to what you intended them to be then you can't go wrong. If you're making them something they're not then you know you need to change something.'
He looked at her and she tried not to get drawn into his eyes.
'How come you always know just what to say?'
She was taken unaware by her shiver and she didn't know why she had. She mentally cursed herself for reacting to his words. She shrugged and cleared her throat.
'How are things with Mattie?'
She needed to break the tension and steer the conversation to safer waters. Well, safer in some ways.
'Fine, thanks.'
She raised her eyebrows but Ron didn't take the conversation any further.
'Right. Good, well, I'd best be off. Harry promised he'd drop some dinner off at Ginny's and I'm rather hungry.
'Harry's... making you dinner?'
'He said he would if I promised to be home before midnight.'
'How come you're still here?'
'Oh, you know me and work.'
'You haven't...'
'I haven't... what?'
Ron shook his head.
'Nothing. Doesn't matter.'
'Haven't spoken to Kingsley today? Haven't been given all the assignments that would normally take me a few years to complete? Haven't had my ex-boyfriend take the decision that should have been mine to make?'
She hadn't raised her voice but her tone was clear.
'You're... angry with me for just mentioning something in passing to Kingsley?'
'Ron, I wasn't even sure if I was going to ask Kingsley or Christine about any of this. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons before taking such a huge task on.'
He frowned. 'What wrong reasons could there be?'
She was about to say something but bit back her retort. She smirked and shook her head.
'Nothing, Ron. Nothing. Have a good evening.'
She turned and walked out of the office. All too soon she heard footsteps behind her.
'Why is it that every time I try and do something to help you, you turn it around and I become the villain?' She stopped walking and her head dropped with a sigh. 'And tell me what you were going to say then, before you stopped yourself.'
She slowly turned to face him.
'To answer your first question, I repeat: it wasn't your decision to make and considering you're so adamant that you've moved on and are happy, you seem to be taking a hell of a lot of interest in my life and the way I'm choosing to live it. You decided that trying to get ahead in my career was good for me so you made sure Kingsley heard about it. And to say what I should have said in there but didn't want to argue with you,' she took a deep breath and sighed, really, really not wanting to argue with him again, 'I had to make sure and promise myself that I wasn't replacing the part of my life that's missing with assignments and excess work. Life's too short to live to work, Ron, we both know that, but at the minute, that's what I'm about to do: fill the gap in my life with paperwork.'
She looked at him and he stared at her. Before he had chance to reply or she had chance to say something else she may regret at a later date she turned and walked away from him. He didn't follow her, and ten minutes later she was curled up on the sofa, reading her book and eating the dinner Harry had left her. For that minute, she couldn't be happier.
...oooOOOooo...
'Oh, please, no, don't make me go. Pleeeeeeeeaaaase Harry!'
Harry sniggered.
'Why are you whining so much? It's not that bad an evening! There's free alcohol... well, you get your first drink for free, the rest they make you pay for...' Hermione snorted. 'And Neville says Hannah's giving us the back room of the 'Sticks for afterwards. We only really have to show our face for the speeches and a bit of networking before we can all bugger off and relax!'
'But I don't want to gooooo-oooooo!'
Her head met her desk and she heard Harry chuckle. She lifted her head to glare at him.
'Well if there was ever any doubt that you were an only child it disappeared just then!'
Despite her determination to continue to glare at him, she had to giggle.
'It may be true doing that to my dad on specific occasions got me out of things I didn't want to do.'
'Well, thankfully I'm not your dad, and am immune to such antics. You're going and you're going to have fun! If nothing else you can get drunk and chances are no one'll notice because the High and Mighty will also be rat-arsed.'
'Are you really trying to sell this evening to me on the fact that if I make a total arse of myself, chances are it won't damage my career?'
Harry thought for a second. 'Yeah, pretty much.'
She threw herself back in her chair and let her head drop against the top of the cushioned furniture.
'But it's not even for this department! It's for the High and Mighty as you call them in the Auror office to pat themselves on the back and congratulate themselves on not letting any future Voldemorts raise terror in the past year!'
'True, but senior members of the Magical Law Department are going-'
'Of which I am not!'
'And Christine wants you to be there. She told Kingsley to invite you and Kingsley told me to make sure you were there.'
She sighed, finally beaten.
'Fine! But only because you played the 'I'm only here on a higher authority' card.'
'Excellent!'
'And you're buying my drinks all evening.'
Harry laughed. 'No problem.'
'And you're not to leave me alone with any random Auror people who I don't know.'
'Promise.'
'Cross you heart?'
'And hope to die. Well, I'd try, my success rate at that isn't brilliant. Then again, might be third time lucky!'
She laughed and sat up in her chair.
'When is it? Sometime next week, yes?'
Harry stared at her, she thought he looked concerned for a second.
'Er, Hermione, it's tonight.'
She smirked. 'Very funny Harry. Tell me when it is.'
'No. Really. It's tonight. I'll pick you up from Ginny's at seven. Don't eat before hand, there's also free food as well as your one free drink. Ginny says you can borrow anything in her wardrobe if you're stuck and she suggests you pin half your hair up and leave the rest down. Or... something else that I shouldn't have understood as well as I did.'
She would have laughed had she not been in shock.
'But it's Thursday! It's not even the weekend yet!'
'They put it on a school night in the vain attempt to stop us getting drunk and not turning in tomorrow morning.'
'Right. And this tactic works, does it?'
'Not at all. But we have a supplier of Hangover Cure in the office that gets it cheap and passes the discount on to us.'
Hermione blinked. 'So not only will half the Auror department be worse for wear in the morning, but you have what boils down to a drug dealer in the department.'
Harry nodded. 'I think that sums it up quite well. Now, go home. You have precisely...' He pulled up his sleeve and consulted his watch. 'Two hours and three minutes to get ready. At least for once I know you'll not be in here until midnight when you should be relaxing.'
'Yes, I can see exactly how tonight is going to be relaxing for me.'
Images of what happened the last time she was at a function at which Ron was present ran through her mind.
'Go, Hermione!'
She glared at him. 'Only for you, Potter. Only for you.'
...oooOOOooo...
Well, she thought, things could be worse.
She had managed to blend in to the crowd quite successfully, despite being escorted by Harry Potter. She had managed to talk to one of her colleagues for the thirty seconds that Mattie and Ron spoke to Harry, and when she next looked she saw them working their way through the crowd to the bar. She knew that at some point during the evening she would have to speak to them, but if she could keep postponing it there was a chance the opportunity may never come round. She rolled her eyes at herself for being childish, but she found she didn't really care a great deal.
She checked her watch, she had been here an hour and a half and by the looks of the High and Mighty (as her brain kept calling the higher members of the Auror Department) there were about to be the speeches that were the sole purpose of this evening. Sure enough, two minutes later Kingsley's low, smooth voice erupted over the crowd. His introduction was short and to the point before he handed over to the Head of the Auror Department.
Darius Piening shook Kingsley's hand and then proceeded to talk for fifteen minutes solid. Even Hermione's built in need to absorb all information given by a speaker was tested and failed her with three minutes to go. She thought Harry was doing very well in looking interested until she looked at him closely and noticed he was blinking far fewer times than she thought normal. His eyes were definitely glazed and the half smile on his face was definitely fixed.
Sure enough, when she nudged him he did jump a little and blinked more in five seconds than he had in the previous five minutes. She snorted which thankfully was drowned out by the outbreak of rapturous applause from all around her. She joined in and beamed to show her support for whatever had just been said.
'Right, I reckon we can go. Give me five minutes to say goodbye to Kingsley, find Ron and tell everyone we're good to go.'
She was a bit ashamed to find herself thinking of any excuse to go on ahead and avoid having to see Ron again. She hated the fact that she was finding ways to avoid him but considering their last few conversations had ended in harsh or uncomfortable words she took some comfort in the fact that it was an act of self-preservation of sorts.
'Why don't I go on and warn Hannah everyone's coming back now so we don't all turn up at once and ambush her?'
Harry raised his eyebrows.
'She does know we're coming.'
'I know, but it's nice to give her some warning.'
Harry tilted his head to the side as if trying to read her mind. Finally he nodded.
'Okay, you go on and tell Hannah we're about to descend and I'll spread the word that we can all leave.'
She nodded and left the function room at the Ministry. She called the lift and waited patiently for it to rattle its way up to her. As she stepped in and the doors closed behind her she thought she heard someone call her name but the lift started moving. When she reached the Atrium she threw Floo Powder into the nearest fireplace and arrived in a rush of flames into The Three Broomsticks.
She made her way through the room and caught Hannah's eye as she walked back behind the bar.
Hannah grinned at her and mouthed 'one minute'. Hermione smiled and eventually got a space at the bar. A couple of minutes later Hannah tapped her on the shoulder.
'Am I right in thinking your lot are about to descend?'
Hermione turned round and smiled at Hannah.
'You are entirely correct. I was sent as an early warning. I reckon you've got about three minutes until the masses descend.'
'Well, I've got the world's dodgiest music system ready to either work perfectly or explode and the bar's stocked. I'll get Frederica behind this bar when she's out the loo and then I'll come and serve you lot.'
'Thanks for doing all this, Hannah. It must be an inconvenience, not to mention you're letting us drink you dry for free!'
Hannah laughed. 'Well, both me and Neville wouldn't have it any other way. I know he's left the Auror Department but it gave him purpose when he needed it and for that he's forever grateful. Hence the free alcohol. However, I want my pub in this state when you're done so I have no problem cutting anyone off who's had too much!'
'Sounds very sensible.'
A series of pops and cracks sounded outside the pub and Hannah glanced at Hermione.
'Best get in the back.'
'Do you need any help?' Hermione asked, following Hannah through to the back bar.
Hannah turned round to look at her as she walked and frowned at Hermione.
'Hermione, why are you trying to avoid having fun? I'm the one working, you're the one who is supposed to be enjoying yourself with your friends and work colleagues. What's going on?'
Hermione smiled but looked at the floor. 'Life got...-'
'Hey Hannah!' Ron said from behind Hermione. 'We're in the back, yeah?'
Hannah beamed at Ron. 'Yeah, make yourselves comfortable, I'll be ready to get you very drunk in a minute.'
'Excellent!' Ron replied with a grin.
He walked past them and pulled Mattie by the hand after him. Hermione's stomach clenched as she watched the scene unfold. Mattie turned around and smirked at her before turning and putting a possessive hand on Ron's shoulder.
'...complicated.'
'Did she just smirk at you?' Hannah asked, turning to face Hermione and stepping in so there was less chance of them being overheard. A few more people walked past them into the back room and said a few hellos to Hannah before moving on.
'I believe she did, yes.'
'But... why?'
Hermione chuckled. 'Maybe she just likes to remind me who has Ron on her arm.'
Hannah raised her eyebrows. 'Well, if she carries on like that it won't be her that's got Ron on her arm for long.'
'Yeah... maybe...'
Hermione appreciated the comments from Hannah but they did little to lighten her mood. All she wanted to do was go home, but if she did that all she would do was sit and wallow and that wasn't healthy. She decided she would stay at the pub and make the most of the evening.
After half an hour she'd wish she had gone home.
~~~
She wasn’t exactly sure who's idea the round of shots was but it didn't take a great deal of persuasion to take the shot glass from Harry as he handed them out. All she knew was that the contents were blue and they were probably going to burn her throat raw. But she didn't care, because after two more smirks from Mattie she just couldn't care anymore.
'To old friends and new, and to getting drunk on a school night!' Ron said as he raised his glass to the centre of the circle. She smiled and watched as Ron downed the contents of his glass. He shut his eyes and grimaced and she smiled as she tipped the liquid into her mouth. She was right about one thing, the liquor burned her mouth and she swallowed it despite her overwhelming desire to spit it out.
Stars filled her vision and she had to blink a few times before they disappeared.
''Kin 'ell!' Harry exclaimed as he shook his head, obviously trying to clear the stars he could also see.
Ron laughed but coughed at the same time, his lungs protesting at being made to inhale the fumes of whatever he had just consumed. Hermione looked round the circle and her eyes fell on Mattie. She had one arm across her chest and the other was holding her empty glass to her lips. The frown and glare directed at Hermione was definitely hostile, not that Hermione was surprised.
She stared right back but when Mattie's lip started to curl into yet another smirk, Hermione rolled her eyes, picked up her other drink off the table behind her, turned on her heal and walked through the crowd to the furthest possible point from Ron and Mattie. Unfortunately, it also took her from the majority of people she knew in the room. Neville was wandering around somewhere but she didn't want to talk to Neville about her problems, not because she had issue with him knowing but because she didn't want to put a downer on his evening.
She slumped on the bench that ran around the edge of the room and leant forward onto the table. She picked up one of the beer mats and started turning it between her fingers. After thinking about her situation for five minutes she realised that she was doing exactly what she would be doing at home, and considering she was supposed to be avoiding doing that she was getting irritated with both herself, and the entire situation.
While she was staring intently at the beer mat in her hands someone sat down heavily next to her.
She turned to look and she smirked when she saw Ron sitting next to her, a frown on his face.
'I've asked Mattie to stop smirking at you and I've told her I'm asking you to be civil with her like I've already asked her.'
Hermione couldn't help but snort. 'And what did Matilda say to that?' she asked before taking a drink from her glass.
'She said she would play nice if you would.'
'Considering I've been nothing but civil to her I find that a little insulting.'
'Hermione, she heard you say you didn't like her!'
'And because she knows the exact context that was said in she should understand I wasn't having a go at her character but the entire situation! She's too intelligent to not be able to make that distinction!'
Ron let his head fall back against the wall and shut his eyes with a sigh.
'Merlin, give me strength!' He opened his eyes and turned to face Hermione, a determined look set on his face. 'Look, Hermione, we used to be best friends and if I have anything to do with it then that fact will be true for years to come. I can't live with my best friend and my girlfriend fighting, I just can't...'
Hermione stood and looked down at Ron.
'Shouldn't your girlfriend be your best friend, Ron? Life would be a lot simpler if she was, don't you think?'
She picked up her drink and downed it before pushing through the crowd. Deciding the bathroom was her safest haven she quickly made her way there and sighed deeply when she shut the door to one of the cubicles behind her. She slumped down the door and let her head fall backwards against the wood.
She wanted go home and be away from all this, but the stubborn part of her brain was telling her she had every right to be there and that she shouldn't let Mattie ruin her evening. For the minute her stubborn streak won but as a compromise she stayed where she was.
She heard the door to the bathroom open and prayed they would leave as soon as possible.
'Hermione Granger, stop hiding in the bathroom.'
She couldn't help but smile at Ginny's voice but she was confused as to why she wasn't in Wales.
'I could be using the bathroom for legitimate reasons you know!' she replied, not moving.
'I pray to Merlin you're not because your arse is on the floor which means you're doing it very, very wrong.'
Hermione snorted and got to her feet. She opened the door to find Ginny in her tightest jeans and a glittery top with one eyebrow raised.
'Admit you were hiding.'
Hermione leant against the doorframe and crossed her arms.
'I was merely giving myself a break from the chaos out there.'
'So... hiding then.'
Hermione raised her eyebrows and ignored Ginny's statement.
'How come you're here? Shouldn't you be failing to get to sleep before a mammoth training session tomorrow like every other Thursday night?'
'Lovely to see you, too oh best friend of mine, you look beautiful, too, Hermione, no need to thank me for borrowing my dress, and yes, thank you, I did have a good midweek match yesterday. I topped my highest score in a match and got player of the match for the third week in a row and because the team played brilliantly we have the weekend off and I thought I'd come and see how my best friend is faring at an evening out she could probably do without instead of going home and letting the small fracture in my wrist heal without risk of making it worse!'
Ginny gasped for air at the end of her mini-monologue.
Hermione closed her eyes and stood up properly. She opened her eyes and held her hand out to Ginny who thankfully took it and saw it as a peace offering.
'I'm sorry, Gin. Thank you for letting me have free reign of your wardrobe and congratulations on the excellent performance yesterday, you deserve the title and I'm sorry I forgot about your midweek match. I'm also very jealous that you've managed to make that ridiculously small wrist support look like it's part of your outfit, your ingenious knows no bounds.'
She smiled and was pleased to see Ginny do the same.
'Thank yous and apologies accepted.'
'How did you fracture your wrist?'
Ginny shrugged and started rubbing the support with her other hand. 'Not entirely sure. Could have been when I intercepted some fast throws or when I got barged by another player. It's not serious, it's already healed I've just been advised to rest it over the weekend. I'll be back training hard on Monday.'
Hermione nodded and smiled.
'So...' Ginny started as she leant back against the sinks. 'I hear there was a case of, er... mistaken identity last week.'
Hermione sighed knowing exactly what Ginny was talking about.
'What did Ron say to you?'
'It wasn't Ron that told me, Mattie came to see me.'
Hermione didn't try and hide her look of outrage.
'She interrupted your working week with her personal issues?' Hermione said, her voice rising as she finished her sentence and her indignation building with every word.
Ginny held her hand up as if to buffer Hermione's words. 'She left a message to check it was okay that she visit and I replied telling her when I was free. She was pretty upset, Hermione. She wouldn't have come otherwise. If it had been you I would have done the same. Actually I wouldn't,' Hermione's stomach clenched, 'I'd've apparated home as soon as possible.'
Hermione smiled and nodded, not trusting herself to put a sentence together properly.
'She told me what had happened and I reckon after talking it through with her I got what actually happened and tried to be the voice of reason. I tried to tell her that it wasn't her that you didn't like just... everything else. I tried to convince her that you didn't come back home for Ron, even though I don't believe that for one second and don't even start protesting, your reasons for being here are not the point of this conversation, so I thought she left me calmer and less pissed off, but I'm guessing something else has happened because she, for the thirty seconds I talked to her in there, as well as being a little worse for wear due to alcohol consumption, she seems highly strung.'
'You mean she stopped trying to glare and smirk at me long enough to hold a conversation? Wow! Impressive!'
Ginny ignored Hermione's jibe.
'Do you know what's happened?'
Hermione frowned. 'Honestly I'm not sure. I've not seen Mattie since that night and I've only seen Ron to talk to properly once. That was to do with... Unless she's annoyed with him for...'
She thought for a second, wondering if Mattie had found out about and therefore had issue with Ron's interference with Hermione's career.
'I swear if you don't finish the next sentence you start I will shout loudly.'
'Sorry! Didn't mean to...' Ginny raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something before Hermione interrupted her with a laugh. 'I'm joking. Ron took it upon himself to mention something I had been thinking about regarding work to Kingsley.'
'That assignment thing you mentioned weeks ago?' Ginny asked.
Hermione nodded. 'Christine - my boss - thinks it's an excellent idea and insisted I give it a try.'
Ginny grinned. 'Hermione that's brilliant!'
Hermione couldn't help but smile but it slipped when she thought of Mattie.
'For me, yes. But maybe to Mattie it means Ron did me a favour, or that I feel I owe him so I'll be around him more, or maybe she thinks he did it for reasons bigger than friendship... I don't know.'
'Sounds possible. I'll speak to her and try to talk her off the edge.'
Ginny sounded fed up at the prospect and Hermione felt her guilt about the whole situation build up again.
'I'm so sorry, Gin. This isn't your mess to sort out.'
Ginny waved away Hermione's words. 'I could get out if I wanted to but I don't. I'd rather do this than watch all this explode from the sidelines.'
Hermione smiled. 'You're a brilliant friend, Gin.'
She held her arms out and Ginny walked forwards into the hug.
'I know! Just remember that when my birthday comes around!'
They pulled apart laughing.
'Will d-.'
The door banged open and Mattie stalked in. Hermione could almost see the sarcastic comments trying to form in her head. Not wanting to stand around and wait to be insulted she turned to Ginny.
'I'll see you later, Gin.'
Ginny nodded and gave a small smile. Hermione walked past Mattie and was almost out the door before Mattie spoke.
'What? Leaving before you can find another reason to call me a bitch?'
Anger flooded through her, not only because Mattie was deliberately trying to provoke her, but because what Mattie had said was inaccurate. She hated things being wrong, especially when they were things being said about her and this was something she was determined to correct. The sensible part of her brain was telling her to carry on walking. She ignored it.
She turned and glared at Mattie.
'Matilda, if you're going to accuse me of something at least do it accurately. I have not ever called you a bitch, I said I didn't like you. Believe me, if I ever do call you a bitch I will remember that vividly for years to come. Keep behaving like this and it will happen sooner rather than later.'
She left Mattie staring at her open mouthed and walked through the now smaller crowd towards the main bar. She wanted to storm out but she didn't want to give Mattie that satisfaction. She wanted to scream and shout but she didn't want to cause a scene. She wanted to do something that would get rid of all the anger and frustration surging through her but she just couldn't see a way to do so.
She was near the main doors to the pub and found herself spinning around trying to decide what she was going to do.
'Woah, Hermione stop spinning! You'll make me fall over and I don't know if I can get back up in these heels!'
Of all the people she expected to see with their hand on her shoulder, Lavender Brown was way down on her list of probable candidates.
'Oh! Hi Lavender! Sorry, I just... Never mind. How are you? I haven't seen you in ages.'
'I'm fine, thank you, but you're clearly not. What's wrong?'
Hermione smiled, but really didn't want to go into details about her love life with someone else. Then again, maybe Lavender was the exact person she should talk to. She was detached from the situation and would definitely tell Hermione her opinion.
'Oh, nothing much. My ex-boyfriend seems intent on running my life despite being oh so very happy with his new girlfriend and said new girlfriend is determined to glare or smirk at me at every opportunity! All I want to do is have an uneventful evening where everyone is civil, but apparently that's not allowed!'
She had raised her voice more than she intended and a couple of people around her had turned to see what the disruption was. Lavender raised her eyebrows.
'Come with me.'
It was a demand, not a request and a second later her grip was vice like on Hermione's arm and she was being pulled through the pub to the other set of toilets. Hermione wondered if all of her meaningful conversations of the evening were going to take place in bathrooms but kept the thought to herself.
She watched as Lavender charmed the door behind them, she presumed it was a silenced and locked and when it glowed green for a second, knew it had been charmed to make people decide to use the other bathroom instead of this one. She hoped no one was desperate to the point of not being able to walk.
'Right! Spill!' Lavender said as she hopped up onto the polished wooden bench the three sinks were set in. Hermione was impressed at how much elegance Lavender had managed the manoeuvre but didn't try to copy. She just leant backwards against the wall.
'You don't have to listen to my pathetic stories, Lavender. You must have better ways to spend your evening.'
'Hermione, I only came out half an hour ago as it's barely ten o'clock, I'm still waiting for three of my friends to arrive before I can start drinking in earnest and the creepy guy with bleached blond tips who was intent on staring at me constantly was starting to irritate me, believe me when I say, I don't mind hearing about your drama!'
Hermione couldn't help but smile. 'I'd hardly call it drama. Just...' She didn't know how to finish that sentence.
'Just a jealous girlfriend driving the ex-girlfriend crazy and the boyfriend stuck in between floundering around.'
Hermione thought for a second and then laughed out loud. It was something of a relief to have someone sum up the situation with a comical mental image so she could laugh instead of cry.
She controlled her laughter. 'Yeah, something like that. I'm guessing you've met Matilda?'
Lavender thought for a second. 'Once to talk to. I literally bumped into her in Diagon Alley and Ron introduced us. We talked small talk for a minute before we went our separate ways. She seemed... nice. A little plain but nice enough.'
'Oh my! Lavender, if you're calling her plain, I've got no hope!'
Lavender chuckled. 'Hermione, believe me when I say you have never been plain.'
Hermione didn't know whether that was an out and out compliment or not, so she just smiled and waited for Lavender to continue.
'So, just to clarify, you've been in France for four years and now you're back. Did you come back for Ron?'
'No! I didn't! I came back because I wanted to come home.'
Lavender tilted her head to the side and stared at Hermione.
'Of course you did,' she said slowly, obviously not believing a word of Hermione's previous sentence. Hermione opened her mouth to protest but Lavender held her hand up to top her.
'Did you know Ron was seeing someone before you came back?'
Hermione stared at the floor. 'No.' She replied reluctantly.
'And the official line on why your relationship ended was because you drifted apart. Is that true?'
'Wait... official line?'
'Printed in Witch Weekly the week after you broke up, yes.'
'But I never-'
'Never heard a word of the gossip because you were safely tucked away in the French Ministry. With Ron not telling anyone any details they may have tried to insinuate various situations which could have arose, but it became apparent that none of those were true.'
Hermione was reeling from the information overload.
'What...? When...? What? When did our relationship become gossip material?'
Lavender rolled her eyes as if she was having to explain something ridiculously easy.
'Darling, relationships are never worthy of Witch Weekly's column inches, however, break ups are. Especially when they are occurring between the hottest new writer to emerge this decade and Harry Potter's two best friends!'
For a second Hermione's heart soared at Lavender mentioning Ron's status as a published author before his friendship with Harry but then her indignation at the general mindset of gossip magazines to print people's misery for everyone to read took over. She frowned.
'So, am I right? Was it simply that you drifted apart? Or was there something else?'
Hermione sighed. 'No, nothing else. It wasn't quite as simple as 'we drifted apart' but essentially, yes, that's what happened.'
'Okay, I'm all caught up. Now fill me in on what had you spinning around out there.'
Again, Hermione sighed. 'Let's just say that for at least two reasons Mattie is annoyed with me and possibly Ron as well. She has spent the most part of this evening glaring and smirking at me and she just accused me of calling her a bitch, which I have never done. I just happened to say I didn't like her which she overheard.'
'So, no cat fights, no hair pulling, no slanging matches, just the occasional cross word.'
'Just the occasional cross word, yes.'
'And here's me thinking I'm going to get a blow-by-blow account of an epic cat fight. Ah well. So, you want Ron back and you have to get this Mattie out the way.'
Hermione chuckled. 'I told you, Lavender, I didn't come home for Ron. He's with Mattie and has made his choice. I will be civil to the girl as long as she is civil to me, but...'
'But...'
Hermione shook her head.
'But... nothing.'
'Well, clearly, you're lying to yourself about wanting him back because it's plain as day that you still love him. Yes, you say you came back because you wanted to come home but I'll bet every knut I possess that the picture that formed in your head when you thought of home had Ron in it.'
Hermione dropped her gaze and once again stared at the floor.
'I'm right aren't I?'
Hermione shrugged in response.
'I'm taking that as a yes, so that makes my advice very easy. Fight for him, Hermione.'
Hermione raised her head and, although at the minute smirking was her least favourite facial expression, she felt her face pull into one.
'He's made his choice, Lavender, he knows how I feel. Nothing I can say will make him change his mind.'
Lavender jumped off the bench and stepped towards Hermione.
'Then do something that will make him change his mind. I've been the other girl in the way of the Ron, Hermione love story. It isn't easy because eventually you realise that you just aren't supposed to be there. It's no one's fault, it just is because that's the way it's supposed to be. Fight for that. You're an intelligent girl, Hermione and you know him better than anyone. Use what you know to get you what you want.'
Hermione watched as Lavender took out her wand and removed the charms.
'If you ever want to talk again, come and find me. I'll always listen. But remember, you only get one chance at all this stuff. We all know life is not a dress rehearsal.'
It was only then that Hermione noticed the three long scars that followed Lavenders jaw down her face and to her neck. She could only nod as Lavender smiled at her and opened the door.
'Thank you,' she said weekly as Lavender walked away from her and as Lavender responded with a wave without looking back Hermione was as conflicted as ever.
She wanted to do what Lavender said and do everything possible to get Ron to love her like she loved him. But how could she be that person when all Mattie ever did was fall in love with Ron after Hermione had rejected him. Not that she saw the whole thing that way, but that's what it boiled down to. She could hardly blame him for running to someone who cared for him and loved him.
She sighed, finally deciding she should go home with her thoughts and her dignity. At least she still had that.
'All I ask is that you're civil to her!'
The harsh words made her flinch and shrink away from the person to her left. Her head whipped around and she saw Ron with anger rolling off him.
'And as I said to you earlier,' she replied, her jaw set and her tone ice cold, 'when she starts being civil to me, I'll start being civil to her!'
'Why can't you be the bigger person here?' Ron replied, his hands pulling through his hair.
'Why do I have to be that person? She has nothing to be jealous of, nothing to fear from me yet for some reason I'm the one in the wrong! It's not me you should be speaking to, Ron!' She saw Mattie stalk up behind Ron and she sighed. 'As I said, I'm not the one who needs talking to, and if you keep talking to me, you're going to get in trouble.'
She turned before either Ron could reply or Mattie could smirk at her yet again. She decided her evening was over and before it could get any worse, she made her way through to the back room and found her jacket and her bag. She tried to find Ginny in the crowd which had grown since she had last been in the room. Her glance around didn't spot long red hair or the mess of black that belonged to Harry so she walked out the room and then out of the pub.
Without thinking she started to walk along the street. Apparition was far from her mind, mainly because Ron and her situation was filling it but also because she knew her concentration wasn't good enough for apparition at the minute.
She had walked all of twenty metres before she heard footsteps behind her. When they came up behind her quickly she turned out of habit to protect herself. When she saw Ron slowing down to speak to her she turned around and picked up her face.
'God, Ron! Leave me alone!' She shouted.
'Did you cast a spell on me?'
The question made her stop walking and turn to glare at him.
'What?'
'Did you hex me so that you would know when I was happy so you could come back home and ruin everything? What do you want from me? I proposed to you and you said no! So I did the healthy thing and moved on, why haven't you?'
'Because I should have said yes!' He stopped as if her words had been a physical barrier between them. 'I was young and I was scared and if I had know that asking you to wait a few years meant losing you forever then I would have said yes with no hesitation. I miss you, Ron. I miss you and I want you and I need you.'
Without thinking about what she was doing she stepped in to him and looked at him. He was looking down at her and she got lost in his eyes. She knew that she only had this opportunity to show him exactly how she felt.
'I love you, always will.'
She took the step that closed the space between them and placed her hands on either side of his face. Before her nerve lost her or he had the chance to pull away she reached up and kissed him. She wanted to press herself into him and for him to wrap his arms around her and kiss her like he did all those years ago. But she didn't and he didn't so she stepped back.
She raised her eyes to him once more, scared as about seeing anger in his eyes. But there was no anger just a look that Hermione hadn't seen for a long time. Before she could process what was happening he stepped towards her and pulled her to him. His lips came down to hers and she gasped into his mouth. Their tongues fought and their hands roamed. She couldn't believe what was happening. This was all she had wanted since she came home. Of course she came home for Ron and she came home for this.
They broke apart, panting and staring at each other.
'Just say that... you still love me.'
She stared at him, willing him to say the words. He took half a step back.
'I need to go and find Mattie.'
She knew she should take those words as discouragement or as a reason to not get her hopes up, but she didn't care anymore. She would hope with all her heart that the kiss was the start of something more.
Ron hurried back to the pub and Hermione just stood staring at his back.
She made herself move and found her legs carrying her back to the pub. She needed to talk to someone but didn't want to speak to anyone. She stopped and turned on the spot, a second later appearing in front of the rock she found so much peace at.
She perched on the edge of the rock and let the memory of Ron kissing her run through her mind. She told herself that if she had nothing else, then at least she had that, but the thought that that was the last time she would kiss Ron brought tears to her eyes quicker than she thought possible.
The wind was cold on her bare arms and she pulled on her jacket. It dawned on her that when she was with Ron she hadn't felt cold at all.
Fifteen minutes later she apparated back to Hogsmeade. She found herself in the exact spot where Ron had left her. Smirking at the cruelty of her subconscious mind she walked forwards.
'Don't you dare let him walk out of your life after that.'
She jumped and reached inside her jacket for her wand.
'Just me!' Lavender said as she emerged from the shadows of an alleyway to her right.
'Merlin, Lavender, you scared me!'
'Good! Maybe the extra adrenaline will wake you up to the fact that you can't let Ron leave after he kissed you like you were the only thing he needs to live.'
Hermione didn't say anything. 'Surely the decision's up to him.'
'Bollocks to that! Hermione! What is it going to take to make you find him and make him yours?'
'I just...'
'Go and find him, before you regret making the wrong decision for the second time in your life.'
Hermione stared at Lavender, not knowing if she really did know exactly what went on in their relationship or not. Either way, what she was saying was true.
She nodded and turned before her nerve left her. She heard Lavender say 'that's my girl,' and she couldn't help but smile.
She started jogging as best as she could in the shoes she was wearing. She reached the doors to the pub and had a quick glance through the main bar before pushing her way through to the back bar.
She found Harry and pushed through the crowd to speak to him. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned and looked at her with a smile.
‘Hi! I haven’t seen you since we got here!’
‘I know. Have you seen Ron?’
Harry thought for a second. ‘Um, yeah he left a while ago with Mattie but they looked a bit… stressed.’
Hermione nodded. Before her nerve could leave her she walked out of the pub. On her way through she thought she saw a flash of long red hair but when she looked properly it had disappeared.
She turned on the spot and appeared outside the building Ron and Harry’s flat was in. She walked up to the door and because the wards surrounding the building recognised her she could open the door. She walked up the stairs, her nerves building with each step. She turned to face their front door and hesitated as she lifted her hand to knock. She closed her eyes and let the memory of the kiss overwhelm her. That was why she was here, to see if she could have all that again.
She knocked sharply on the door and after a couple of seconds she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. The door swung open and Mattie stood before her, tear tracks down her face with confusion in her eyes.
‘Oh Mattie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-.’
‘Ron proposed to me.’
Hermione stared at her and watched as Mattie lifted her left hand up. Hermione looked at the ring on her finger and shock filled her every cell. She knew she should say something, anything to try and show that she wasn’t as affected by those words as she was but her brain refused to give her any direction.
It was Mattie’s smile that brought her back to herself and it was then that she saw Ron appear in her line of sight. He glanced up at her but looked away quickly.
‘Congratulations. Both of you. Really. I’ll… leave you alone.’
She took a step back and then turned and hurried down the stairs. She knew what she was doing but she didn’t know how long she could stay in control of herself.
As soon as she was out the main door she apparated home. She stood for a second before her knees gave way and she landed in a heap on the floor.
‘It’s over,’ she whispered to herself. A tear escaped her eye and then another and another. Her breath hitched in her throat and then she was sobbing, mourning what she could once have said yes to but now could never have. She hugged her knees to her chest and didn’t try and keep quiet or calm herself down. Some part of her wanted all this to happen now so it would be gone tomorrow. She knew that was ridiculous, but maybe crying her eyes out now would help somewhat.
She didn’t know how long she sat there, huddled in front of the fireplace, but it was only green flames erupting in front of her that made her move. She watched as if detached for herself as Ginny hurried forwards and knelt next to her on the floor.
‘Hermione, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?’
She wanted to tell Ginny she was hurt and it would never stop hurting, but that would be silly and unfair to panic Ginny.
She shook her head.
‘R…Ron’s… proposed t-to… Mattie.’
She had yet to look Ginny in the eye, and she didn’t try to now.
‘He… he proposed to her? After-…’
A sob caught in Hermione’s throat and Ginny pulled her into her side.
‘Hey, come on, calm down or you’ll make yourself sick.’
She let her head fall on her friend’s shoulder. For a few minutes all she did was concentrate on breathing slowly and trying to suppress her sobs.
‘It should have been me and I threw it all away.’
She felt Ginny start stroking her hair.
‘It’s easy to look back and build up this perfect picture of what you think should have been.’
‘We had a future,’ she said, her voice suddenly strong as she spoke the words she had memorised years ago, ‘and that was pretty scary. Not because I didn't know what I wanted but because I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted the girl next to me to be there for everything I had to do. I wanted her to be the person I went to for everything I ever needed to talk about. I wanted her to kiss me like she had when I'd mentioned saving House Elves and I wanted to tell her I loved her.’
To her surprise Ginny got up quickly and left her exactly where she was. Hermione didn’t look to see where she had gone. A minute later she returned and sat down where she was before. She pushed Hermione’s most battered copy of Right Hand Man into her hands.
‘Hermione, for whatever reason, life didn’t turn out the way you expected. I know you’re hurting but you have to pick yourself up form this and carry on. So here’s what you’re going to do, you’re going to light a fire and throw this on it, you’re going to watch it burn and let all the hurt evaporate with it, and then… then you’re going to sit here and cry on my shoulder for as long as you want okay?’
It was testament to how much she needed to do something that the idea of burning a book didn’t disgust her. If this was the physical act that would help her move on, then so be it.
She nodded and pulled her wand from her jacket. A few waves of it had a roaring fire in the fireplace. She looked down at the battered and well-thumbed copy of the book and watched as her tears landed on the front cover. She took a deep breath and threw it on the flames. For a few seconds nothing happened, and then the edges of the pages succumbed to the flames. She watched as they blackened and curled and as the ashes started to rise up the chimney she willed herself to let go of the dream she had had when she returned all those weeks ago.
She slumped back into a sitting position and Ginny wrapped her arms around her.
‘It’ll be okay, Hermione. It really will. I promise.’
For the time being she clung onto those words as if they were her only hope.
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: T
Chapter Warnings: Angst, bitchiness
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 10,289
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: You trust me, yes?
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Redirection
'Hermione, the Minister wants to see you in his office.'
She had jumped at the voice because she was so immersed in the research she was doing for her assignment that she hadn't noticed her colleague, who looked very overworked, walk up to her desk.
'The... Minister?' she asked, trying to engage her brain in the conversation.
'For Magic,' her colleague said, a hint of humour in her voice.
Those words woke her brain up.
'Kings-... er, Minister Shacklebolt wants to see me?
'Apparently so.' She tucked her hair behind her ears and started walking away from Hermione's desk
'Oh. Right. Okay. Right.'
She blotted her quill and shuffled the parchment so it was in a neat pile. She stood and made sure her robes were straight. She left the office and called the lift. As she rode the lift to the top floor she started to feel nervous. As much as the Minister always made a point of greeting her when they met at the Ministry either in the office or the corridor and he had been more than happy to accept her back in to his workforce, he was still the Minister for Magic and the most senior boss she had.
The lift doors opened and she walked through the reception area. She smiled at Coop - Rosemary Cooper, PA to the Minister - who smiled back at her.
Instantly Hermione felt more relaxed. Harry had told her that if Coop was smiling, then the Minister was happy.
'You're to go straight in, Miss Granger, the Minister is expecting you.'
'Oh, okay. Thank you.'
Her smile went back to nervous and she knocked lightly on the door before stepping inside. She shut the door behind her before turning with the same nervous smile and walked towards the Minister's desk and, of course, the Minister.
'Good afternoon, Miss Granger. I trust you are settled in now?'
Kingsley gestured towards the chair and Hermione answered his question with a nod as she pulled out the chair and sat down.
'Yes, thank you, everyone's been very helpful.'
'Good. As much as I was proud that you were working in the French Ministry as a representative of us over there, I'm rather happy you've come back to us.'
Hermione could feel herself blushing but she smiled and tried to keep eye contact with her most senior boss without looking away too often.
'Thank you,' she replied quietly.
'Now, I've heard on the grapevine that you are seriously considering the possibility of completing all your junior assignments ahead of time and applying for an assistant's post earlier than normal.'
Hermione frowned. The grapevine? She had only told one person and she didn't think Ron would shout any detail about her professional life around his or her office.
'I... er... I only told one person that it had crossed my mind. I hadn't made any decision or even worked out if I could do it-.'
Kingsley raised his hand and she stopped talking. He smirked.
'Ron simply asked if it would be possible for something like the scenario you had thought about to happen. I told him that it has happened but not for a couple of decades or so. There may be a few raised eyebrows but I try to make it our philosophy that it doesn't matter who or what can do any job here, as long as they do it as well as they should. Should you wish to look at these,' he opened a drawer Hermione couldn't see and pulled out a stack of parchment a couple of inches thick, 'then you are more than welcome to take them away with you today.'
She opened her mouth to speak but found she didn't know what to say.
'Before you protest this will be seen as favouritism, well, maybe it will by some, but they will have me to answer to if they step out of line.'
'It will be seen that way, though, won't it? I mean, I'm a good friend of Harry's and people will talk that I'm getting special treatment because of that.'
Kingsley nodded slowly and leaned back in his chair.
'Hermione, I can't sit here and argue that rules weren't bent to let Harry, Ron and Neville join the Auror programme when none of them had the correct qualifications, but I wanted them here because they had shown that they had the strength of character, the willingness to learn, the want to do well in what they do and, more importantly, their fight for what they believe in. If you had wanted to join them, you would be with them at work, now.'
Hermione's stomach squirmed, she had thought about what taking that specific decision would have done to her life path and hated that it could have led her to her happily ever after. Then again, her sanity may not have survived the Auror programme.
'However, considering the Head of the Department of Magical Law wanted you to work for her so badly that she was devastated when the French Ministry asked you to work in Paris, there will be no word of favouritism around here. It was she who got the assignments for you within five minutes of me mentioning this whole thing to her. She thinks it's a brilliant idea and she's looking forward to see how it works out.'
'No pressure then!' she said with a small smile. Kingsley laughed out loud. 'Christine really didn't want me to go to France?'
'She knew that for your career it was the perfect opportunity to stretch yourself but she'd been keeping an eye on you through your final year and when your N.E.W.T results came in your name was on the enrolment forms before you knew anything about it.'
Hermione took a deep breath and felt her face go red.
'She was one of the reasons I wanted to get into Magical Law. When all the rebuilding of everything was going on she was so driven and determined to make sure justice was served and to get laws passed that were fair.'
Kingsley nodded. 'She's a remarkable woman and has been my friend for many years. When I became Minister quite a few people stopped being able to tell me what they thought because they were scared of the position I held, but you can rest assured that if I start abusing my power she will take her foot to my arse faster than I can blink.'
Hermione laughed out loud. 'Well, not wishing to sound like I'm sucking up to the Minister for Magic, but I don't think that will ever happen.'
Kingsley shuffled the pile of assignments into a neat pile and handed them to Hermione. 'Let's hope you're right, Hermione.'
She took the papers and stood up. Kingsley followed her to the door.
'Thank you again for these, Minister.'
'You're welcome and good luck.'
...oooOOOooo...
She knew she should have gone home at half five like the rest of her colleagues but the new assignments had drawn her in and she was researching the first one well after hours. It was ten to nine and she was hungry, well she had been hungry but she had passed the stage where it was bothering her. Harry had stuck his head around the door when he hadn't seen her pass the Auror office on her way home and had rolled his eyes when she gave half-hearted excuses to his pleas for her to leave her work and go home.
He had told her that he would drop some dinner off at Ginny's flat if she promised to be home before midnight. She had thanked him and smiled at him and when she promised him she would be home before midnight he left with a chuckle and a wave.
At nine o'clock she decided she had put off eating for long enough and packed up her things into her bag. She left the assignments locked in her desk drawer so she would have some sort of 'down time' when she got home. Well, as much as her brain would allow her. She knew she would catch herself thinking about her work at numerous times during the evening, but she was used to this and after a couple of years of work she managed to learn how to relax her mind despite the invasion of work thoughts.
The lanterns dimmed automatically as she walked out of the office and made her way along the corridor. She automatically turned her head to the right and looked through the windows to the Auror department. She was a little shocked to see one lantern lit in the place where she knew Ron's desk was.
She hadn't forgotten her annoyance at Ron's interference with her work, regardless of the fact that she had dived headfirst into her new assignments. She was adamant that it should have been her decision to ask the question and test the water, not Ron's.
Irritated but determined not to fight with him any more she walked through the office and stopped a few metres from his desk. He looked up and then got back to his writing. He held out his hand to acknowledge her presence but let her know he was in the middle of something.
She leant against one of the boards with parchment pinned to it haphazardously and waited for him to finish. He stabbed his parchment and threw his quill down.
'Pinning down a thought before it got away?' she asked with a smirk.
He gave her a half smile. 'Yeah, actually. I have to admit it's nothing to do with work, I got... inspired about...' he checked the clock on the wall, 'Merlin, about three hours ago.'
He shuffled the parchment on his desk and Hermione smiled as he piled his muse inspired writing together.
'I tried for years to get you enthused in writing and when you finally get into it I'm never here to see it happen.'
He smiled and blotted his quill before putting it in his drawer. Hermione frowned momentarily as she thought she recognised the quill he was putting away. She thought it looked like the one she had bought him when the publisher had finally agreed to publish Ron's book.
Despite the want and apparent need for a tale about Harry Potter's year on the run, people were sceptical that Ron Weasley could write what they wanted. Hermione knew they would want every one of his words when they had read the first chapter and when everyone had signed all the dotted lines necessary, Hermione had bought him a quill with Right Hand Man, by Ronald Weasley inscribed up the feather. She knew it was foolish to presume he still used it, but she was damn sure she had just seen it.
'So... is it still the fiction that's capturing your imagination? Or something else?'
He nodded. 'Still the fiction. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I think it's the worst thing ever written, but I thought that during Right Hand Man so I don't take my opinion too seriously.'
She tilted her head to the side. 'If I remember rightly, you judged what you wrote on whether it was truthful or not. I know it's different with fiction, because it's just that, but... if you keep your characters true to what you intended them to be then you can't go wrong. If you're making them something they're not then you know you need to change something.'
He looked at her and she tried not to get drawn into his eyes.
'How come you always know just what to say?'
She was taken unaware by her shiver and she didn't know why she had. She mentally cursed herself for reacting to his words. She shrugged and cleared her throat.
'How are things with Mattie?'
She needed to break the tension and steer the conversation to safer waters. Well, safer in some ways.
'Fine, thanks.'
She raised her eyebrows but Ron didn't take the conversation any further.
'Right. Good, well, I'd best be off. Harry promised he'd drop some dinner off at Ginny's and I'm rather hungry.
'Harry's... making you dinner?'
'He said he would if I promised to be home before midnight.'
'How come you're still here?'
'Oh, you know me and work.'
'You haven't...'
'I haven't... what?'
Ron shook his head.
'Nothing. Doesn't matter.'
'Haven't spoken to Kingsley today? Haven't been given all the assignments that would normally take me a few years to complete? Haven't had my ex-boyfriend take the decision that should have been mine to make?'
She hadn't raised her voice but her tone was clear.
'You're... angry with me for just mentioning something in passing to Kingsley?'
'Ron, I wasn't even sure if I was going to ask Kingsley or Christine about any of this. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons before taking such a huge task on.'
He frowned. 'What wrong reasons could there be?'
She was about to say something but bit back her retort. She smirked and shook her head.
'Nothing, Ron. Nothing. Have a good evening.'
She turned and walked out of the office. All too soon she heard footsteps behind her.
'Why is it that every time I try and do something to help you, you turn it around and I become the villain?' She stopped walking and her head dropped with a sigh. 'And tell me what you were going to say then, before you stopped yourself.'
She slowly turned to face him.
'To answer your first question, I repeat: it wasn't your decision to make and considering you're so adamant that you've moved on and are happy, you seem to be taking a hell of a lot of interest in my life and the way I'm choosing to live it. You decided that trying to get ahead in my career was good for me so you made sure Kingsley heard about it. And to say what I should have said in there but didn't want to argue with you,' she took a deep breath and sighed, really, really not wanting to argue with him again, 'I had to make sure and promise myself that I wasn't replacing the part of my life that's missing with assignments and excess work. Life's too short to live to work, Ron, we both know that, but at the minute, that's what I'm about to do: fill the gap in my life with paperwork.'
She looked at him and he stared at her. Before he had chance to reply or she had chance to say something else she may regret at a later date she turned and walked away from him. He didn't follow her, and ten minutes later she was curled up on the sofa, reading her book and eating the dinner Harry had left her. For that minute, she couldn't be happier.
...oooOOOooo...
'Oh, please, no, don't make me go. Pleeeeeeeeaaaase Harry!'
Harry sniggered.
'Why are you whining so much? It's not that bad an evening! There's free alcohol... well, you get your first drink for free, the rest they make you pay for...' Hermione snorted. 'And Neville says Hannah's giving us the back room of the 'Sticks for afterwards. We only really have to show our face for the speeches and a bit of networking before we can all bugger off and relax!'
'But I don't want to gooooo-oooooo!'
Her head met her desk and she heard Harry chuckle. She lifted her head to glare at him.
'Well if there was ever any doubt that you were an only child it disappeared just then!'
Despite her determination to continue to glare at him, she had to giggle.
'It may be true doing that to my dad on specific occasions got me out of things I didn't want to do.'
'Well, thankfully I'm not your dad, and am immune to such antics. You're going and you're going to have fun! If nothing else you can get drunk and chances are no one'll notice because the High and Mighty will also be rat-arsed.'
'Are you really trying to sell this evening to me on the fact that if I make a total arse of myself, chances are it won't damage my career?'
Harry thought for a second. 'Yeah, pretty much.'
She threw herself back in her chair and let her head drop against the top of the cushioned furniture.
'But it's not even for this department! It's for the High and Mighty as you call them in the Auror office to pat themselves on the back and congratulate themselves on not letting any future Voldemorts raise terror in the past year!'
'True, but senior members of the Magical Law Department are going-'
'Of which I am not!'
'And Christine wants you to be there. She told Kingsley to invite you and Kingsley told me to make sure you were there.'
She sighed, finally beaten.
'Fine! But only because you played the 'I'm only here on a higher authority' card.'
'Excellent!'
'And you're buying my drinks all evening.'
Harry laughed. 'No problem.'
'And you're not to leave me alone with any random Auror people who I don't know.'
'Promise.'
'Cross you heart?'
'And hope to die. Well, I'd try, my success rate at that isn't brilliant. Then again, might be third time lucky!'
She laughed and sat up in her chair.
'When is it? Sometime next week, yes?'
Harry stared at her, she thought he looked concerned for a second.
'Er, Hermione, it's tonight.'
She smirked. 'Very funny Harry. Tell me when it is.'
'No. Really. It's tonight. I'll pick you up from Ginny's at seven. Don't eat before hand, there's also free food as well as your one free drink. Ginny says you can borrow anything in her wardrobe if you're stuck and she suggests you pin half your hair up and leave the rest down. Or... something else that I shouldn't have understood as well as I did.'
She would have laughed had she not been in shock.
'But it's Thursday! It's not even the weekend yet!'
'They put it on a school night in the vain attempt to stop us getting drunk and not turning in tomorrow morning.'
'Right. And this tactic works, does it?'
'Not at all. But we have a supplier of Hangover Cure in the office that gets it cheap and passes the discount on to us.'
Hermione blinked. 'So not only will half the Auror department be worse for wear in the morning, but you have what boils down to a drug dealer in the department.'
Harry nodded. 'I think that sums it up quite well. Now, go home. You have precisely...' He pulled up his sleeve and consulted his watch. 'Two hours and three minutes to get ready. At least for once I know you'll not be in here until midnight when you should be relaxing.'
'Yes, I can see exactly how tonight is going to be relaxing for me.'
Images of what happened the last time she was at a function at which Ron was present ran through her mind.
'Go, Hermione!'
She glared at him. 'Only for you, Potter. Only for you.'
...oooOOOooo...
Well, she thought, things could be worse.
She had managed to blend in to the crowd quite successfully, despite being escorted by Harry Potter. She had managed to talk to one of her colleagues for the thirty seconds that Mattie and Ron spoke to Harry, and when she next looked she saw them working their way through the crowd to the bar. She knew that at some point during the evening she would have to speak to them, but if she could keep postponing it there was a chance the opportunity may never come round. She rolled her eyes at herself for being childish, but she found she didn't really care a great deal.
She checked her watch, she had been here an hour and a half and by the looks of the High and Mighty (as her brain kept calling the higher members of the Auror Department) there were about to be the speeches that were the sole purpose of this evening. Sure enough, two minutes later Kingsley's low, smooth voice erupted over the crowd. His introduction was short and to the point before he handed over to the Head of the Auror Department.
Darius Piening shook Kingsley's hand and then proceeded to talk for fifteen minutes solid. Even Hermione's built in need to absorb all information given by a speaker was tested and failed her with three minutes to go. She thought Harry was doing very well in looking interested until she looked at him closely and noticed he was blinking far fewer times than she thought normal. His eyes were definitely glazed and the half smile on his face was definitely fixed.
Sure enough, when she nudged him he did jump a little and blinked more in five seconds than he had in the previous five minutes. She snorted which thankfully was drowned out by the outbreak of rapturous applause from all around her. She joined in and beamed to show her support for whatever had just been said.
'Right, I reckon we can go. Give me five minutes to say goodbye to Kingsley, find Ron and tell everyone we're good to go.'
She was a bit ashamed to find herself thinking of any excuse to go on ahead and avoid having to see Ron again. She hated the fact that she was finding ways to avoid him but considering their last few conversations had ended in harsh or uncomfortable words she took some comfort in the fact that it was an act of self-preservation of sorts.
'Why don't I go on and warn Hannah everyone's coming back now so we don't all turn up at once and ambush her?'
Harry raised his eyebrows.
'She does know we're coming.'
'I know, but it's nice to give her some warning.'
Harry tilted his head to the side as if trying to read her mind. Finally he nodded.
'Okay, you go on and tell Hannah we're about to descend and I'll spread the word that we can all leave.'
She nodded and left the function room at the Ministry. She called the lift and waited patiently for it to rattle its way up to her. As she stepped in and the doors closed behind her she thought she heard someone call her name but the lift started moving. When she reached the Atrium she threw Floo Powder into the nearest fireplace and arrived in a rush of flames into The Three Broomsticks.
She made her way through the room and caught Hannah's eye as she walked back behind the bar.
Hannah grinned at her and mouthed 'one minute'. Hermione smiled and eventually got a space at the bar. A couple of minutes later Hannah tapped her on the shoulder.
'Am I right in thinking your lot are about to descend?'
Hermione turned round and smiled at Hannah.
'You are entirely correct. I was sent as an early warning. I reckon you've got about three minutes until the masses descend.'
'Well, I've got the world's dodgiest music system ready to either work perfectly or explode and the bar's stocked. I'll get Frederica behind this bar when she's out the loo and then I'll come and serve you lot.'
'Thanks for doing all this, Hannah. It must be an inconvenience, not to mention you're letting us drink you dry for free!'
Hannah laughed. 'Well, both me and Neville wouldn't have it any other way. I know he's left the Auror Department but it gave him purpose when he needed it and for that he's forever grateful. Hence the free alcohol. However, I want my pub in this state when you're done so I have no problem cutting anyone off who's had too much!'
'Sounds very sensible.'
A series of pops and cracks sounded outside the pub and Hannah glanced at Hermione.
'Best get in the back.'
'Do you need any help?' Hermione asked, following Hannah through to the back bar.
Hannah turned round to look at her as she walked and frowned at Hermione.
'Hermione, why are you trying to avoid having fun? I'm the one working, you're the one who is supposed to be enjoying yourself with your friends and work colleagues. What's going on?'
Hermione smiled but looked at the floor. 'Life got...-'
'Hey Hannah!' Ron said from behind Hermione. 'We're in the back, yeah?'
Hannah beamed at Ron. 'Yeah, make yourselves comfortable, I'll be ready to get you very drunk in a minute.'
'Excellent!' Ron replied with a grin.
He walked past them and pulled Mattie by the hand after him. Hermione's stomach clenched as she watched the scene unfold. Mattie turned around and smirked at her before turning and putting a possessive hand on Ron's shoulder.
'...complicated.'
'Did she just smirk at you?' Hannah asked, turning to face Hermione and stepping in so there was less chance of them being overheard. A few more people walked past them into the back room and said a few hellos to Hannah before moving on.
'I believe she did, yes.'
'But... why?'
Hermione chuckled. 'Maybe she just likes to remind me who has Ron on her arm.'
Hannah raised her eyebrows. 'Well, if she carries on like that it won't be her that's got Ron on her arm for long.'
'Yeah... maybe...'
Hermione appreciated the comments from Hannah but they did little to lighten her mood. All she wanted to do was go home, but if she did that all she would do was sit and wallow and that wasn't healthy. She decided she would stay at the pub and make the most of the evening.
After half an hour she'd wish she had gone home.
~~~
She wasn’t exactly sure who's idea the round of shots was but it didn't take a great deal of persuasion to take the shot glass from Harry as he handed them out. All she knew was that the contents were blue and they were probably going to burn her throat raw. But she didn't care, because after two more smirks from Mattie she just couldn't care anymore.
'To old friends and new, and to getting drunk on a school night!' Ron said as he raised his glass to the centre of the circle. She smiled and watched as Ron downed the contents of his glass. He shut his eyes and grimaced and she smiled as she tipped the liquid into her mouth. She was right about one thing, the liquor burned her mouth and she swallowed it despite her overwhelming desire to spit it out.
Stars filled her vision and she had to blink a few times before they disappeared.
''Kin 'ell!' Harry exclaimed as he shook his head, obviously trying to clear the stars he could also see.
Ron laughed but coughed at the same time, his lungs protesting at being made to inhale the fumes of whatever he had just consumed. Hermione looked round the circle and her eyes fell on Mattie. She had one arm across her chest and the other was holding her empty glass to her lips. The frown and glare directed at Hermione was definitely hostile, not that Hermione was surprised.
She stared right back but when Mattie's lip started to curl into yet another smirk, Hermione rolled her eyes, picked up her other drink off the table behind her, turned on her heal and walked through the crowd to the furthest possible point from Ron and Mattie. Unfortunately, it also took her from the majority of people she knew in the room. Neville was wandering around somewhere but she didn't want to talk to Neville about her problems, not because she had issue with him knowing but because she didn't want to put a downer on his evening.
She slumped on the bench that ran around the edge of the room and leant forward onto the table. She picked up one of the beer mats and started turning it between her fingers. After thinking about her situation for five minutes she realised that she was doing exactly what she would be doing at home, and considering she was supposed to be avoiding doing that she was getting irritated with both herself, and the entire situation.
While she was staring intently at the beer mat in her hands someone sat down heavily next to her.
She turned to look and she smirked when she saw Ron sitting next to her, a frown on his face.
'I've asked Mattie to stop smirking at you and I've told her I'm asking you to be civil with her like I've already asked her.'
Hermione couldn't help but snort. 'And what did Matilda say to that?' she asked before taking a drink from her glass.
'She said she would play nice if you would.'
'Considering I've been nothing but civil to her I find that a little insulting.'
'Hermione, she heard you say you didn't like her!'
'And because she knows the exact context that was said in she should understand I wasn't having a go at her character but the entire situation! She's too intelligent to not be able to make that distinction!'
Ron let his head fall back against the wall and shut his eyes with a sigh.
'Merlin, give me strength!' He opened his eyes and turned to face Hermione, a determined look set on his face. 'Look, Hermione, we used to be best friends and if I have anything to do with it then that fact will be true for years to come. I can't live with my best friend and my girlfriend fighting, I just can't...'
Hermione stood and looked down at Ron.
'Shouldn't your girlfriend be your best friend, Ron? Life would be a lot simpler if she was, don't you think?'
She picked up her drink and downed it before pushing through the crowd. Deciding the bathroom was her safest haven she quickly made her way there and sighed deeply when she shut the door to one of the cubicles behind her. She slumped down the door and let her head fall backwards against the wood.
She wanted go home and be away from all this, but the stubborn part of her brain was telling her she had every right to be there and that she shouldn't let Mattie ruin her evening. For the minute her stubborn streak won but as a compromise she stayed where she was.
She heard the door to the bathroom open and prayed they would leave as soon as possible.
'Hermione Granger, stop hiding in the bathroom.'
She couldn't help but smile at Ginny's voice but she was confused as to why she wasn't in Wales.
'I could be using the bathroom for legitimate reasons you know!' she replied, not moving.
'I pray to Merlin you're not because your arse is on the floor which means you're doing it very, very wrong.'
Hermione snorted and got to her feet. She opened the door to find Ginny in her tightest jeans and a glittery top with one eyebrow raised.
'Admit you were hiding.'
Hermione leant against the doorframe and crossed her arms.
'I was merely giving myself a break from the chaos out there.'
'So... hiding then.'
Hermione raised her eyebrows and ignored Ginny's statement.
'How come you're here? Shouldn't you be failing to get to sleep before a mammoth training session tomorrow like every other Thursday night?'
'Lovely to see you, too oh best friend of mine, you look beautiful, too, Hermione, no need to thank me for borrowing my dress, and yes, thank you, I did have a good midweek match yesterday. I topped my highest score in a match and got player of the match for the third week in a row and because the team played brilliantly we have the weekend off and I thought I'd come and see how my best friend is faring at an evening out she could probably do without instead of going home and letting the small fracture in my wrist heal without risk of making it worse!'
Ginny gasped for air at the end of her mini-monologue.
Hermione closed her eyes and stood up properly. She opened her eyes and held her hand out to Ginny who thankfully took it and saw it as a peace offering.
'I'm sorry, Gin. Thank you for letting me have free reign of your wardrobe and congratulations on the excellent performance yesterday, you deserve the title and I'm sorry I forgot about your midweek match. I'm also very jealous that you've managed to make that ridiculously small wrist support look like it's part of your outfit, your ingenious knows no bounds.'
She smiled and was pleased to see Ginny do the same.
'Thank yous and apologies accepted.'
'How did you fracture your wrist?'
Ginny shrugged and started rubbing the support with her other hand. 'Not entirely sure. Could have been when I intercepted some fast throws or when I got barged by another player. It's not serious, it's already healed I've just been advised to rest it over the weekend. I'll be back training hard on Monday.'
Hermione nodded and smiled.
'So...' Ginny started as she leant back against the sinks. 'I hear there was a case of, er... mistaken identity last week.'
Hermione sighed knowing exactly what Ginny was talking about.
'What did Ron say to you?'
'It wasn't Ron that told me, Mattie came to see me.'
Hermione didn't try and hide her look of outrage.
'She interrupted your working week with her personal issues?' Hermione said, her voice rising as she finished her sentence and her indignation building with every word.
Ginny held her hand up as if to buffer Hermione's words. 'She left a message to check it was okay that she visit and I replied telling her when I was free. She was pretty upset, Hermione. She wouldn't have come otherwise. If it had been you I would have done the same. Actually I wouldn't,' Hermione's stomach clenched, 'I'd've apparated home as soon as possible.'
Hermione smiled and nodded, not trusting herself to put a sentence together properly.
'She told me what had happened and I reckon after talking it through with her I got what actually happened and tried to be the voice of reason. I tried to tell her that it wasn't her that you didn't like just... everything else. I tried to convince her that you didn't come back home for Ron, even though I don't believe that for one second and don't even start protesting, your reasons for being here are not the point of this conversation, so I thought she left me calmer and less pissed off, but I'm guessing something else has happened because she, for the thirty seconds I talked to her in there, as well as being a little worse for wear due to alcohol consumption, she seems highly strung.'
'You mean she stopped trying to glare and smirk at me long enough to hold a conversation? Wow! Impressive!'
Ginny ignored Hermione's jibe.
'Do you know what's happened?'
Hermione frowned. 'Honestly I'm not sure. I've not seen Mattie since that night and I've only seen Ron to talk to properly once. That was to do with... Unless she's annoyed with him for...'
She thought for a second, wondering if Mattie had found out about and therefore had issue with Ron's interference with Hermione's career.
'I swear if you don't finish the next sentence you start I will shout loudly.'
'Sorry! Didn't mean to...' Ginny raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something before Hermione interrupted her with a laugh. 'I'm joking. Ron took it upon himself to mention something I had been thinking about regarding work to Kingsley.'
'That assignment thing you mentioned weeks ago?' Ginny asked.
Hermione nodded. 'Christine - my boss - thinks it's an excellent idea and insisted I give it a try.'
Ginny grinned. 'Hermione that's brilliant!'
Hermione couldn't help but smile but it slipped when she thought of Mattie.
'For me, yes. But maybe to Mattie it means Ron did me a favour, or that I feel I owe him so I'll be around him more, or maybe she thinks he did it for reasons bigger than friendship... I don't know.'
'Sounds possible. I'll speak to her and try to talk her off the edge.'
Ginny sounded fed up at the prospect and Hermione felt her guilt about the whole situation build up again.
'I'm so sorry, Gin. This isn't your mess to sort out.'
Ginny waved away Hermione's words. 'I could get out if I wanted to but I don't. I'd rather do this than watch all this explode from the sidelines.'
Hermione smiled. 'You're a brilliant friend, Gin.'
She held her arms out and Ginny walked forwards into the hug.
'I know! Just remember that when my birthday comes around!'
They pulled apart laughing.
'Will d-.'
The door banged open and Mattie stalked in. Hermione could almost see the sarcastic comments trying to form in her head. Not wanting to stand around and wait to be insulted she turned to Ginny.
'I'll see you later, Gin.'
Ginny nodded and gave a small smile. Hermione walked past Mattie and was almost out the door before Mattie spoke.
'What? Leaving before you can find another reason to call me a bitch?'
Anger flooded through her, not only because Mattie was deliberately trying to provoke her, but because what Mattie had said was inaccurate. She hated things being wrong, especially when they were things being said about her and this was something she was determined to correct. The sensible part of her brain was telling her to carry on walking. She ignored it.
She turned and glared at Mattie.
'Matilda, if you're going to accuse me of something at least do it accurately. I have not ever called you a bitch, I said I didn't like you. Believe me, if I ever do call you a bitch I will remember that vividly for years to come. Keep behaving like this and it will happen sooner rather than later.'
She left Mattie staring at her open mouthed and walked through the now smaller crowd towards the main bar. She wanted to storm out but she didn't want to give Mattie that satisfaction. She wanted to scream and shout but she didn't want to cause a scene. She wanted to do something that would get rid of all the anger and frustration surging through her but she just couldn't see a way to do so.
She was near the main doors to the pub and found herself spinning around trying to decide what she was going to do.
'Woah, Hermione stop spinning! You'll make me fall over and I don't know if I can get back up in these heels!'
Of all the people she expected to see with their hand on her shoulder, Lavender Brown was way down on her list of probable candidates.
'Oh! Hi Lavender! Sorry, I just... Never mind. How are you? I haven't seen you in ages.'
'I'm fine, thank you, but you're clearly not. What's wrong?'
Hermione smiled, but really didn't want to go into details about her love life with someone else. Then again, maybe Lavender was the exact person she should talk to. She was detached from the situation and would definitely tell Hermione her opinion.
'Oh, nothing much. My ex-boyfriend seems intent on running my life despite being oh so very happy with his new girlfriend and said new girlfriend is determined to glare or smirk at me at every opportunity! All I want to do is have an uneventful evening where everyone is civil, but apparently that's not allowed!'
She had raised her voice more than she intended and a couple of people around her had turned to see what the disruption was. Lavender raised her eyebrows.
'Come with me.'
It was a demand, not a request and a second later her grip was vice like on Hermione's arm and she was being pulled through the pub to the other set of toilets. Hermione wondered if all of her meaningful conversations of the evening were going to take place in bathrooms but kept the thought to herself.
She watched as Lavender charmed the door behind them, she presumed it was a silenced and locked and when it glowed green for a second, knew it had been charmed to make people decide to use the other bathroom instead of this one. She hoped no one was desperate to the point of not being able to walk.
'Right! Spill!' Lavender said as she hopped up onto the polished wooden bench the three sinks were set in. Hermione was impressed at how much elegance Lavender had managed the manoeuvre but didn't try to copy. She just leant backwards against the wall.
'You don't have to listen to my pathetic stories, Lavender. You must have better ways to spend your evening.'
'Hermione, I only came out half an hour ago as it's barely ten o'clock, I'm still waiting for three of my friends to arrive before I can start drinking in earnest and the creepy guy with bleached blond tips who was intent on staring at me constantly was starting to irritate me, believe me when I say, I don't mind hearing about your drama!'
Hermione couldn't help but smile. 'I'd hardly call it drama. Just...' She didn't know how to finish that sentence.
'Just a jealous girlfriend driving the ex-girlfriend crazy and the boyfriend stuck in between floundering around.'
Hermione thought for a second and then laughed out loud. It was something of a relief to have someone sum up the situation with a comical mental image so she could laugh instead of cry.
She controlled her laughter. 'Yeah, something like that. I'm guessing you've met Matilda?'
Lavender thought for a second. 'Once to talk to. I literally bumped into her in Diagon Alley and Ron introduced us. We talked small talk for a minute before we went our separate ways. She seemed... nice. A little plain but nice enough.'
'Oh my! Lavender, if you're calling her plain, I've got no hope!'
Lavender chuckled. 'Hermione, believe me when I say you have never been plain.'
Hermione didn't know whether that was an out and out compliment or not, so she just smiled and waited for Lavender to continue.
'So, just to clarify, you've been in France for four years and now you're back. Did you come back for Ron?'
'No! I didn't! I came back because I wanted to come home.'
Lavender tilted her head to the side and stared at Hermione.
'Of course you did,' she said slowly, obviously not believing a word of Hermione's previous sentence. Hermione opened her mouth to protest but Lavender held her hand up to top her.
'Did you know Ron was seeing someone before you came back?'
Hermione stared at the floor. 'No.' She replied reluctantly.
'And the official line on why your relationship ended was because you drifted apart. Is that true?'
'Wait... official line?'
'Printed in Witch Weekly the week after you broke up, yes.'
'But I never-'
'Never heard a word of the gossip because you were safely tucked away in the French Ministry. With Ron not telling anyone any details they may have tried to insinuate various situations which could have arose, but it became apparent that none of those were true.'
Hermione was reeling from the information overload.
'What...? When...? What? When did our relationship become gossip material?'
Lavender rolled her eyes as if she was having to explain something ridiculously easy.
'Darling, relationships are never worthy of Witch Weekly's column inches, however, break ups are. Especially when they are occurring between the hottest new writer to emerge this decade and Harry Potter's two best friends!'
For a second Hermione's heart soared at Lavender mentioning Ron's status as a published author before his friendship with Harry but then her indignation at the general mindset of gossip magazines to print people's misery for everyone to read took over. She frowned.
'So, am I right? Was it simply that you drifted apart? Or was there something else?'
Hermione sighed. 'No, nothing else. It wasn't quite as simple as 'we drifted apart' but essentially, yes, that's what happened.'
'Okay, I'm all caught up. Now fill me in on what had you spinning around out there.'
Again, Hermione sighed. 'Let's just say that for at least two reasons Mattie is annoyed with me and possibly Ron as well. She has spent the most part of this evening glaring and smirking at me and she just accused me of calling her a bitch, which I have never done. I just happened to say I didn't like her which she overheard.'
'So, no cat fights, no hair pulling, no slanging matches, just the occasional cross word.'
'Just the occasional cross word, yes.'
'And here's me thinking I'm going to get a blow-by-blow account of an epic cat fight. Ah well. So, you want Ron back and you have to get this Mattie out the way.'
Hermione chuckled. 'I told you, Lavender, I didn't come home for Ron. He's with Mattie and has made his choice. I will be civil to the girl as long as she is civil to me, but...'
'But...'
Hermione shook her head.
'But... nothing.'
'Well, clearly, you're lying to yourself about wanting him back because it's plain as day that you still love him. Yes, you say you came back because you wanted to come home but I'll bet every knut I possess that the picture that formed in your head when you thought of home had Ron in it.'
Hermione dropped her gaze and once again stared at the floor.
'I'm right aren't I?'
Hermione shrugged in response.
'I'm taking that as a yes, so that makes my advice very easy. Fight for him, Hermione.'
Hermione raised her head and, although at the minute smirking was her least favourite facial expression, she felt her face pull into one.
'He's made his choice, Lavender, he knows how I feel. Nothing I can say will make him change his mind.'
Lavender jumped off the bench and stepped towards Hermione.
'Then do something that will make him change his mind. I've been the other girl in the way of the Ron, Hermione love story. It isn't easy because eventually you realise that you just aren't supposed to be there. It's no one's fault, it just is because that's the way it's supposed to be. Fight for that. You're an intelligent girl, Hermione and you know him better than anyone. Use what you know to get you what you want.'
Hermione watched as Lavender took out her wand and removed the charms.
'If you ever want to talk again, come and find me. I'll always listen. But remember, you only get one chance at all this stuff. We all know life is not a dress rehearsal.'
It was only then that Hermione noticed the three long scars that followed Lavenders jaw down her face and to her neck. She could only nod as Lavender smiled at her and opened the door.
'Thank you,' she said weekly as Lavender walked away from her and as Lavender responded with a wave without looking back Hermione was as conflicted as ever.
She wanted to do what Lavender said and do everything possible to get Ron to love her like she loved him. But how could she be that person when all Mattie ever did was fall in love with Ron after Hermione had rejected him. Not that she saw the whole thing that way, but that's what it boiled down to. She could hardly blame him for running to someone who cared for him and loved him.
She sighed, finally deciding she should go home with her thoughts and her dignity. At least she still had that.
'All I ask is that you're civil to her!'
The harsh words made her flinch and shrink away from the person to her left. Her head whipped around and she saw Ron with anger rolling off him.
'And as I said to you earlier,' she replied, her jaw set and her tone ice cold, 'when she starts being civil to me, I'll start being civil to her!'
'Why can't you be the bigger person here?' Ron replied, his hands pulling through his hair.
'Why do I have to be that person? She has nothing to be jealous of, nothing to fear from me yet for some reason I'm the one in the wrong! It's not me you should be speaking to, Ron!' She saw Mattie stalk up behind Ron and she sighed. 'As I said, I'm not the one who needs talking to, and if you keep talking to me, you're going to get in trouble.'
She turned before either Ron could reply or Mattie could smirk at her yet again. She decided her evening was over and before it could get any worse, she made her way through to the back room and found her jacket and her bag. She tried to find Ginny in the crowd which had grown since she had last been in the room. Her glance around didn't spot long red hair or the mess of black that belonged to Harry so she walked out the room and then out of the pub.
Without thinking she started to walk along the street. Apparition was far from her mind, mainly because Ron and her situation was filling it but also because she knew her concentration wasn't good enough for apparition at the minute.
She had walked all of twenty metres before she heard footsteps behind her. When they came up behind her quickly she turned out of habit to protect herself. When she saw Ron slowing down to speak to her she turned around and picked up her face.
'God, Ron! Leave me alone!' She shouted.
'Did you cast a spell on me?'
The question made her stop walking and turn to glare at him.
'What?'
'Did you hex me so that you would know when I was happy so you could come back home and ruin everything? What do you want from me? I proposed to you and you said no! So I did the healthy thing and moved on, why haven't you?'
'Because I should have said yes!' He stopped as if her words had been a physical barrier between them. 'I was young and I was scared and if I had know that asking you to wait a few years meant losing you forever then I would have said yes with no hesitation. I miss you, Ron. I miss you and I want you and I need you.'
Without thinking about what she was doing she stepped in to him and looked at him. He was looking down at her and she got lost in his eyes. She knew that she only had this opportunity to show him exactly how she felt.
'I love you, always will.'
She took the step that closed the space between them and placed her hands on either side of his face. Before her nerve lost her or he had the chance to pull away she reached up and kissed him. She wanted to press herself into him and for him to wrap his arms around her and kiss her like he did all those years ago. But she didn't and he didn't so she stepped back.
She raised her eyes to him once more, scared as about seeing anger in his eyes. But there was no anger just a look that Hermione hadn't seen for a long time. Before she could process what was happening he stepped towards her and pulled her to him. His lips came down to hers and she gasped into his mouth. Their tongues fought and their hands roamed. She couldn't believe what was happening. This was all she had wanted since she came home. Of course she came home for Ron and she came home for this.
They broke apart, panting and staring at each other.
'Just say that... you still love me.'
She stared at him, willing him to say the words. He took half a step back.
'I need to go and find Mattie.'
She knew she should take those words as discouragement or as a reason to not get her hopes up, but she didn't care anymore. She would hope with all her heart that the kiss was the start of something more.
Ron hurried back to the pub and Hermione just stood staring at his back.
She made herself move and found her legs carrying her back to the pub. She needed to talk to someone but didn't want to speak to anyone. She stopped and turned on the spot, a second later appearing in front of the rock she found so much peace at.
She perched on the edge of the rock and let the memory of Ron kissing her run through her mind. She told herself that if she had nothing else, then at least she had that, but the thought that that was the last time she would kiss Ron brought tears to her eyes quicker than she thought possible.
The wind was cold on her bare arms and she pulled on her jacket. It dawned on her that when she was with Ron she hadn't felt cold at all.
Fifteen minutes later she apparated back to Hogsmeade. She found herself in the exact spot where Ron had left her. Smirking at the cruelty of her subconscious mind she walked forwards.
'Don't you dare let him walk out of your life after that.'
She jumped and reached inside her jacket for her wand.
'Just me!' Lavender said as she emerged from the shadows of an alleyway to her right.
'Merlin, Lavender, you scared me!'
'Good! Maybe the extra adrenaline will wake you up to the fact that you can't let Ron leave after he kissed you like you were the only thing he needs to live.'
Hermione didn't say anything. 'Surely the decision's up to him.'
'Bollocks to that! Hermione! What is it going to take to make you find him and make him yours?'
'I just...'
'Go and find him, before you regret making the wrong decision for the second time in your life.'
Hermione stared at Lavender, not knowing if she really did know exactly what went on in their relationship or not. Either way, what she was saying was true.
She nodded and turned before her nerve left her. She heard Lavender say 'that's my girl,' and she couldn't help but smile.
She started jogging as best as she could in the shoes she was wearing. She reached the doors to the pub and had a quick glance through the main bar before pushing her way through to the back bar.
She found Harry and pushed through the crowd to speak to him. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned and looked at her with a smile.
‘Hi! I haven’t seen you since we got here!’
‘I know. Have you seen Ron?’
Harry thought for a second. ‘Um, yeah he left a while ago with Mattie but they looked a bit… stressed.’
Hermione nodded. Before her nerve could leave her she walked out of the pub. On her way through she thought she saw a flash of long red hair but when she looked properly it had disappeared.
She turned on the spot and appeared outside the building Ron and Harry’s flat was in. She walked up to the door and because the wards surrounding the building recognised her she could open the door. She walked up the stairs, her nerves building with each step. She turned to face their front door and hesitated as she lifted her hand to knock. She closed her eyes and let the memory of the kiss overwhelm her. That was why she was here, to see if she could have all that again.
She knocked sharply on the door and after a couple of seconds she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. The door swung open and Mattie stood before her, tear tracks down her face with confusion in her eyes.
‘Oh Mattie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-.’
‘Ron proposed to me.’
Hermione stared at her and watched as Mattie lifted her left hand up. Hermione looked at the ring on her finger and shock filled her every cell. She knew she should say something, anything to try and show that she wasn’t as affected by those words as she was but her brain refused to give her any direction.
It was Mattie’s smile that brought her back to herself and it was then that she saw Ron appear in her line of sight. He glanced up at her but looked away quickly.
‘Congratulations. Both of you. Really. I’ll… leave you alone.’
She took a step back and then turned and hurried down the stairs. She knew what she was doing but she didn’t know how long she could stay in control of herself.
As soon as she was out the main door she apparated home. She stood for a second before her knees gave way and she landed in a heap on the floor.
‘It’s over,’ she whispered to herself. A tear escaped her eye and then another and another. Her breath hitched in her throat and then she was sobbing, mourning what she could once have said yes to but now could never have. She hugged her knees to her chest and didn’t try and keep quiet or calm herself down. Some part of her wanted all this to happen now so it would be gone tomorrow. She knew that was ridiculous, but maybe crying her eyes out now would help somewhat.
She didn’t know how long she sat there, huddled in front of the fireplace, but it was only green flames erupting in front of her that made her move. She watched as if detached for herself as Ginny hurried forwards and knelt next to her on the floor.
‘Hermione, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?’
She wanted to tell Ginny she was hurt and it would never stop hurting, but that would be silly and unfair to panic Ginny.
She shook her head.
‘R…Ron’s… proposed t-to… Mattie.’
She had yet to look Ginny in the eye, and she didn’t try to now.
‘He… he proposed to her? After-…’
A sob caught in Hermione’s throat and Ginny pulled her into her side.
‘Hey, come on, calm down or you’ll make yourself sick.’
She let her head fall on her friend’s shoulder. For a few minutes all she did was concentrate on breathing slowly and trying to suppress her sobs.
‘It should have been me and I threw it all away.’
She felt Ginny start stroking her hair.
‘It’s easy to look back and build up this perfect picture of what you think should have been.’
‘We had a future,’ she said, her voice suddenly strong as she spoke the words she had memorised years ago, ‘and that was pretty scary. Not because I didn't know what I wanted but because I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted the girl next to me to be there for everything I had to do. I wanted her to be the person I went to for everything I ever needed to talk about. I wanted her to kiss me like she had when I'd mentioned saving House Elves and I wanted to tell her I loved her.’
To her surprise Ginny got up quickly and left her exactly where she was. Hermione didn’t look to see where she had gone. A minute later she returned and sat down where she was before. She pushed Hermione’s most battered copy of Right Hand Man into her hands.
‘Hermione, for whatever reason, life didn’t turn out the way you expected. I know you’re hurting but you have to pick yourself up form this and carry on. So here’s what you’re going to do, you’re going to light a fire and throw this on it, you’re going to watch it burn and let all the hurt evaporate with it, and then… then you’re going to sit here and cry on my shoulder for as long as you want okay?’
It was testament to how much she needed to do something that the idea of burning a book didn’t disgust her. If this was the physical act that would help her move on, then so be it.
She nodded and pulled her wand from her jacket. A few waves of it had a roaring fire in the fireplace. She looked down at the battered and well-thumbed copy of the book and watched as her tears landed on the front cover. She took a deep breath and threw it on the flames. For a few seconds nothing happened, and then the edges of the pages succumbed to the flames. She watched as they blackened and curled and as the ashes started to rise up the chimney she willed herself to let go of the dream she had had when she returned all those weeks ago.
She slumped back into a sitting position and Ginny wrapped her arms around her.
‘It’ll be okay, Hermione. It really will. I promise.’
For the time being she clung onto those words as if they were her only hope.