Leaning Slightly to the Left | HG | Rated: NC-17
Title: Leaning Slightly to the Left: Chapter 4
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: Nc-17. There be smut!
Chapter Warnings: Angst, swearing, smut
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 6,024
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: Flashback time, and hopefully an explanation to all the wtfery going on. Just don't stab me with a quill when you're finished reading. Have faith! :D
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Leaning Slightly to the Left
Revelation
She had spent the last couple of weeks avoiding Ron at all cost, to the point that when he came round one evening she pretended to be in her room asleep. She had found a note in the fireplace when she came home telling her he was coming over to see her, and when he arrived she had been lying on her bed reading. She wasn't sure why she did it, but when he walked through the house trying to find her, she just closed her eyes and let her book fall to the bed.
He poked his head around her door after knocking and telling her he was coming in. She heard him sigh and thought she could detect a smile when he did. She wondered what he would do, whether he would wake her and say what he wanted or walk away and leave it unsaid. He walked away.
She was disappointed, wanting to know that he needed to talk to her, but she knew that playing games with him was ridiculous and childish and she decided not to do it again.
But she hadn't had the chance because she had no reason to see Ron, and she hadn't made the effort to do so. She knew the longer she left it before seeing him the more impact there would be when she did, but at the minute she needed the escapism.
Which is why she found it very bizarre to find herself reading Right Hand Man. Again. She had flicked through the many pages, and had read Ron's account of the time he had spent at Shell Cottage without her and Harry. She had read his words describing how she had been tortured, and finally she had read the final chapter where the madness had ended and their future was just beginning.
She remembered the way he had stared at her while they sat at the table waiting for something to happen and she remembered him leaning in and kissing her. Before she knew it, she was remembering far more than she wanted to.
...oooOOOOoo...
2nd May 1997
She wasn't entirely sure how she felt. So much had happened and she could barely remember some of it. All she knew for certain was that she was alive, Harry and Ron were alive, other people she cared about were alive, but other people she cared about were not.
She wanted to jump up and down and run around with the relief that she had a life to live how she wanted, without oppression and the weight of something huge pressing down on her shoulders, but she didn't because she also wanted to sit where she was and cry because of everything she had had to do and everything she had been through. She felt like she was going to burst with all the things she was feeling, but at the same time she felt empty.
She looked at the wand in her hand - the wand she hadn't let go of since they arrived at Hogwarts - and was both terrified at what it had done to her and thankful that she had it.
Confusion didn't even begin to cover it.
For the seventh time in the past hour - she had no idea why she was counting - she felt tears burn her eyes and she turned to look at Ron. He was staring at the table in front of him and he looked afraid and shocked and her stomach squirmed in fear.
'What is it? What's wrong?'
He turned to look at her and she was partly relieved to see his expression change and a smile appear on his face. He leant forward and kissed her, taking her completely off guard, and she couldn't help but smile. This is what she wanted. Small things that were new and exciting but felt natural. She wanted to do this all day long, even though that was a ridiculous notion.
They both pulled apart and rested their foreheads together.
'Um...' she started before inwardly rolling her eyes at herself for not having a clue what to say.
'Fancy a walk?' Ron asked as he took her hand.
She sat up and smiled at him.
'Sounds lovely.'
.oOo.
3rd June 1998
'They want me to go to France.'
She knew she should have softened the blow a little but she had been so taken aback by the news that her brain was past being cautious.
'They what?'
His expression was half smirk, half confusion. She sighed.
'They want me to do part of my training in France. Same job, same training, just in... France.'
'France, France?'
'How many Frances do you know?'
Ron shook his head as if clearing his thoughts.
'Sorry, right. France. Wow!'
'Yeah. Wow.'
'You don't sound very enthusiastic about it.'
She knew he was keeping what he really felt to himself and she loved him for that but didn't want him to.
'I... honestly I don't know how to feel. It's an amazing opportunity and a privilege to be asked but... I'd be in France and you'd be here.'
He nodded. 'Yeah.'
'Ron, please say something.'
It was as if she could see his defences slide up.
'Thought I was!'
'You know what I mean!' she snapped. She closed her eyes and sighed, trying to calm herself down. She didn't want this to turn into an argument. She hated fighting with Ron. 'I want to know how you feel about it. Whether you think I should do my training at the French Ministry or whether I should stay here. Whether you'll hate me if I go. Whether we'll be okay if I did...'
Ron nodded and stepped towards her. Hermione held out her hand to him and he pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his robes.
'How many people have they asked to go?'
'Just me. Apparently my N.E.W.T marks are... well, good, so the Ministry want to... McGonagal said the Ministry wants to show me off a little.'
She had mumbled the last half of her sentence into his chest and she felt the rumble of his chuckle.
'Even on leaving school you're a swat!'
She managed half a smile.
'When you say your results are good, what are they? Did they tell you?'
She shook her head. 'Not specifically, only that in one of my papers I'd... beaten all previous scores.'
Ron pushed her away from him but kept a tight hold on her shoulders.
'You got the highest score ever in one of your exams?'
She nodded and gave a small smile.
'Hermione, that's... you're brilliant, you know that?'
She managed a genuine smile. 'You have a habit of telling me when I most need it.'
Ron leaned towards her and kissed her hard and hugged her.
'You need to go to France,' he said quietly into her hair.
She pulled back and stared at him.
'But-.'
'I'm not going to be the reason that you don't go and dazzle the world with how brilliant you are.'
'But, Ron, I can take the same job in this country. The fact that it's in France only adds to the fact I have to become fluent in another language to the whole thing.'
'And therefore challenging you and giving you more chances to shine.'
'But what's the point of shining if you're lonely?'
'Hermione. Look at me.' She had resolutely been looking at the collar on his robes and finally looked into his eyes. 'I'm going nowhere. I start training soon and I'll be just as tied up with work as you. I love you enough to know that we will work through this. There's weekends, there's international portkeys, and there are owls. We'll be fine. I didn't go through all that crap fighting evil to lose you because of a bit of sea, okay? We'll be fine. Forever and eternity, yeah?'
She smiled and nodded, tears burning her eyes.
'Forever and eternity.'
.oOo.
24th September 1999
She was pacing and reading and reading and pacing and wasn't going to stop any time soon. The parchment in her hand was possibly the most important thing she had ever written and she was determined it was going to be perfect. She knew that she had only been given the job of writing her boss's opening statement for the trial he was about to be a part of because he was lazy. He had worded it as though he was giving her a big break, but after only a year of training this wasn't going to fast track her anyway soon. Even so, she jumped at the chance and had read and re-read her boss's notes on the crime and all the evidence there was.
She had been concise, to the point, and had what she thought was a very healthy opening statement. She had asked her friend, Isabelle to check her grammar as she was still not quite confident enough with her French to leave it as it was, and was now checking through it one last time before she left it on the desk behind her and left for the afternoon.
There was a knock on the door but she kept on reading and pacing.
'Entré,' she said, her eyes carrying along the parchment as if she hadn't been disturbed. She heard the door open but still carried on reading.
'I don't think I'll ever stop finding you speaking French, sexy.'
Her head snapped towards the door and her eyes fell on Ron in his Ministry robes, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
'Ron!'
All thoughts of the parchment in her hand disappeared. She hurried around the desk and threw herself into his outstretched arms. He picked her up and spun her around. Happiness bubbled through her and she laughed into his shoulder.
'What are you doing here?' she asked as he put her down, but kept a tight hold around her waist.
'What do you think I'm doing here? I'm here to see my wonderful, gorgeous, sexy, French speaking girlfriend and spend the weekend with her.'
She smiled wider than she thought possible.
'You're here for the whole weekend?'
'I am! I've booked a hotel for us so you don't have to worry about anything and we can just relax for the next two days. Providing you don't have anything else planned, of course.'
She playfully hit him on the shoulder.
'Even if I did have plans, I'd cancel them for you.'
He grinned and leaned down to kiss her. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of him and couldn't help but smile as he kissed her. She sucked on his tongue and grabbed a handful of his longer-than-she-remembered hair. They broke apart panting.
'I suggest that we stop this unless you want me to throw you on that desk and shag you senseless.'
She giggled and took half a step back from him. 'Well, Adrian is due back soon so that could be... awkward to say the least.'
He grinned at her. 'You're thinking about it though, aren't you?'
She laughed. 'I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.'
'Liar. When do you finish?'
'Actually I finish now, but then I'm back at six for a couple of hours to get everything sorted for the trial on Monday.'
'So, a late dinner about eight is okay?'
She frowned. 'Make it nine, just to be sure.'
Ron nodded and smiled. 'So, you have a couple of hours now, then?' he asked with a smirk.
Hermione tried to hide her smile. 'I might have. That depends entirely what you plan to do with me!'
He stepped in to her and grinned. 'Well, you need, what? Ten minutes to snack? Twenty minutes to get ready for our meal into something that is both sexy but still okay for your meeting, so that leaves us with a whole hour and an added thirty minutes bonus time to do whatever we like.'
'Oh, I think we can find plenty of things to fill that time.'
~~~
She landed heavily on the mattress and instantly Ron was hovering over her and kissing her like she was the oxygen his body needed to survive.
She fisted his hair and scrabbled at the buttons on his shirt. He was fumbling with the clasps on her trousers and growled in frustration when he couldn't get them open.
'Ron?' Hermione said when he took a second to look at the obstruction that was annoying him. 'I know we don't have a lot of time, but we have longer than ten minutes!'
Ron grinned at her. 'I know, but if I don't have you now I will actually die. After I've shagged you through the mattress then we can take it slow.'
Hermione rolled her eyes at his exaggeration but smiled. She reached inside her robes and grasped her wand. 'Well, why didn't you say so?'
She waved her wand and all their clothes disappeared. She waved it once more and they reappeared in a heap by the side of the bed. Another, well practiced, wave and her wand joined the clothes on the floor.
Ron looked at her and she bit her bottom lip. She had no idea why she felt self conscious when his eyes raked over her body, but she did.
'Merlin, you're beautiful.'
She didn't have time to smile before his body covered hers. His hand was in her hair and the other was kneading her breast. She brought her legs up and dug her heels into his arse, trying to push him forwards. He sucked on her neck and brought his hand to her folds and brushed over her clit.
'Fuck!' she exclaimed.
Ron growled and she felt him push against her. He was teasing her, nudging forwards ever so slightly. She pushed with her heels and he entered her. She gasped and wrapped her arms around him. He pushed forwards again and she tilted her hips slightly so he could push further. He cried into her hair and started thrusting.
'I love... you... so much,' he said, pushing himself onto one elbow so he could look into her eyes.
'Love you... too,' she replied as his hand found her clit once more.
Her hips met his every thrust in a well practiced rhythm and she sucked on his shoulder and kissed his neck.
'This is gonna be short and sweet, babe, just so you know. Missed this... so... fucking much!'
She bit her lip to stop her shouting out loud at the sensations tearing through her and she knew she was close to orgasm.
'As long as you don't leave me... hanging... my lo-ove!'
Her orgasm shook through her and she pulled Ron to her as he shouted obscenities to the room. He collapsed on top of her and his hips jerked out of rhythm before he finally stilled. She kissed his hair and he rolled them over so she was lying on his chest and breathing him in.
'Fuck, I've missed this,' Ron said in a whisper.
Hermione pushed herself up and rocked her hips against him causing a high pitched whimper from Ron.
'I guessed that,' she said with a grin. 'And I can see you're fine if I stay here and slow the pace down slightly.'
He placed his hands on her thighs and grinned widely.
'Take it as slowly as you want, my love.'
~~~
The paperwork pile had been taller than she had ever anticipated but she had to work through it, the trial was first thing Monday morning after all. Thankfully there were three other people there to work through it with her, so she was optimistic that it would all be done in the three hours she had and set to work.
~~~
'Hermione, vous n'auriez pas dû partir?'
Hermione's head snapped up from her parchment. She was on the last section and was hurrying through but had lost track of the time.
'Quelle heur et il?' she asked her co-worker.
'Il est... neuf heures et demie.'
'Shit!'
She turned back to her parchment and ignored the raised eyebrows as she scribbled something down. She threw the paper on her pile and as she left the room she told her colleagues that she had finished and begged them to put her pile of paper with theirs in the correct order. They agreed and said goodbye to her with a smile.
~~~
'Ron, I'm so sorry I'm late. The paperwork we were left was ridiculous and I did it as quickly as I could but I lost track of the time and-.'
He had kissed her to stop her talking. She pulled back and blushed.
'Sorry.'
'Stop apologising, it's fine. You're here now and that's all that matters. They're running a bit late anyway.
He pulled her chair out from underneath the table and motioned that she should sit down. She hid her bulky work bag under the table and straightened herself out before taking the seat.
'Thank you. And thank you for this, Ron.'
She motioned around her and she relaxed when she saw him smile.
'You're welcome. Would you like some of the normal wine or would you like to try the special one they've been trying to get me to order since I sat down?'
She chuckled. 'Why do I get the impression that the special one comes with a special price?'
Ron grinned. 'I think your impression would be right, but ignore the astronomical pricing. Tonight is... special... so, order what you want.'
Hermione nodded and blushed a little even though she had no idea why she did. Ron reached across the table and took her hands in his.
'I miss stuff like this,' he said quietly.
She nodded. 'I know. I do, too.'
She looked at him and thought he was going to carry on the conversation but instead he smiled and started talking about Harry and Ginny instead. She loved hearing about how everyone was doing and it was with a twinge of regret that she realised how much she was missing at home. Though the conversation was easy she thought Ron was holding something back and he was fidgeting more than was normal for him. She didn't mention it and they ate their starters and main course with contented conversation and a lot of giggling.
They were waiting to look at the desert menu when the waiter arrived with a small, tightly wound scroll.
'Un message est arrivé pour vous, Mademoiselle Granger,' he turned and left as soon as he had placed the scroll on the table.
Not having the time to thank him, Hermione frowned and looked at Ron. She fumbled in her robes for her wand and tapped the scroll. It unravelled and she read the words. Her heart sank and she sighed.
'What is it?' Ron asked.
'Adrian's dropped some more paperwork into the office and wants me there to go through it.'
'Now?' Ron asked, his tone annoyed.
'The trial's Monday, it's either now or tomorrow or Sunday. I'd rather get it over and done with.'
'But we haven't finished here yet! Can't it wait? I'm only here for the weekend and I... I want to spend every minute possible with you.'
She reached over and took his hands. 'I know it's rubbish timing, and I'm sorry but it's best I get this out the way, isn't it? I'll make it up to you, later. I promise.'
She smiled at him and after a few seconds his frown turned into half a smile.
'Shall I get pudding to take to the hotel?' he asked.
'Sounds like an excellent idea. Hopefully I should be back in a couple of hours. Nothing major seemed to be missing earlier so I can't imagine it's going to take too long.'
Ron nodded and took her hands in his. He kissed her knuckles and she stood. Ron took a card out of his pocket and handed it to her.
'The address of the hotel where we're staying,' he said with a smile.
Her eyes scanned over the address and her eyebrows raised.
'Ron! This is the most exclusive and overpriced hotel in France! How did you get us in there?'
Ron grinned, obviously please with himself. 'Our best friend is Harry Potter. Pulling a few strings was not difficult!'
Hermione giggled and mouthed 'I love you' at him.
'I love you, too. Room three-one-seven, I'll let everyone know you're respectable enough to come in.'
'Why, thank you! I'll see you soon.'
~~~
'Soon' had been far too optimistic. She had been hoping to be back at the hotel with Ron for eleven, but it was now nearly half past midnight and she didn't know how upset or angry Ron would be when she opened the door. She knocked quietly and waited to hear footsteps. She heard nothing so pushed the door and was relieved when it opened. She presumed Ron was asleep, she couldn't blame him, so she locked the door behind her and toed off her shoes. She hung her robes on the door hook and looked through to the deceptively large room.
She smiled when she saw Ron lying on his back, dead to the world. She tip toed around to the other side of the bed, intent on waking him up in his favourite way, when something on the floor caught her eye. She squinted in the soft lamp light and bent down to see what had obviously dropped out of Ron's hand and on to the floor. Her heart began to race when she noticed it was a small, square, velvet covered box.
She reached out and picked it up. She felt the hinge on one side and followed the break around the other sides. She walked to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down, her elbows on her knees and her hands passing the box from left to right.
She didn't have a clue what she was feeling. Her initial excitement had been replaced by uncertainty and - she was somewhat ashamed to admit it - fear.
She loved Ron, of this she was sure, but marriage? She had just turned twenty years old and she lived in a different country to him! When she thought about the future she thought about a future with Ron in it and never anything different. But she thought about that future after she had done her six years hard graft and when Ron was fully qualified and comfortable in his position at the Auror department.
Thoughts flew through her mind, what might happen if she said yes, what might happen if she said... no. But it wasn't no, it was a yes-in-a-few-years. She would never say no to Ron, she just wasn't sure if saying yes now was the right thing to do. There was so much she wanted to do with her life and it scared her that marriage might put an end to that. It was a ridiculous notion, having a ring on her finger wouldn't stop her doing anything, that was a stereotype and something she knew Ron would be mortified about if he knew she had even thought that for a second.
But was it a good idea to get engaged when they lived in different countries, both worked most of the hours in the day and only occasionally managed to see each other at weekends? She didn’t know, and the thought of making that decision now scared her.
She heard him shuffle and her heart pounded in her chest.
'You're here!' he said, his voice a little gruff and his eyes half shut.
'Ron, what's this?' she held out the box towards him and watched as his expression went from terror to disappointment and then to a forced calm.
'I mean I think I might know what it is but I haven't opened it yet.'
He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He straightened his tie which he still hadn't taken off from dinner and stood up.
'I wanted it to be a surprise,' he said, the disappointment in his voice coming through.
He took the box off her and knelt on one knee in front of her. He opened the box and turned it towards her. Her breath caught at the ring inside. It was a thin gold band with a solitaire diamond and two smaller sapphires on either side.
'Hermione, I love you and I will love you forever and eternity. Would you do me the greatest honour, and say you'll marry me?'
Part of her was screaming 'yes' but the other half couldn't say a thing.
She took his hand and stood in front of him, he followed her and looked at her with a confused look on his face.
'Do you think we're ready for marriage?'
He smiled. 'I've been ready to marry you for years, Hermione.'
'But we live in different countries, Ron!'
'And that's why I'm doing this! I want to stop being apart from you! I miss you so much and we're... we're...'
He had taken a step back and was running a hand through his hair.
'We're what?' she asked in a whisper.
'We're drifting apart! We only owl every couple of weeks, we're lucky if we see each other every six months... I just... I don't know what's going to happen...'
'So you thought proposing would fix it all?' She tried to raise her voice above a whisper but she couldn't.
'I thought proposing would show you that I want this to work so badly and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you!' she knew he was frustrated and angry and he was struggling to keep his temper under control.
'Ron, believe me when I say I want to spend the rest of my life with you-.'
'So say yes!'
'But I don't think we're ready for this! When we're settled in our careers and when we know we can spend all day, every day together without driving each other mad then that's the time we can start thinking about marriage.'
He slumped down on to the edge of the bed, and Hermione looked at him as his shoulders slumped and as he scrubbed at his face with his hands.
'You're saying no!' His voice cracked and she felt tears burn her eyes.
She sat on the bed next to him and took his hand in hers.
'I'm not saying no! I'm saying some day in the future. I'll say it again, I love you, Ron and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I just think we need to be a couple for longer before we have this huge... pressure and title to live up to! After everything we've been through I think we need to take the time to be us. Okay?'
He replied by falling back on the bed and closing his eyes. She crawled up the bed and pushed herself under his arm and draped herself over his body, trying to show him that everything would be all right.
'I love you,' she whispered into his chest.
She was relieved when his arm curled around her waist and stroked up and down her side.
'I love you, too.'
She closed her eyes and listened to Ron's heartbeat.
'Forever and eternity.'
She fell asleep before she heard his reply.
~~~
She woke up and for a few seconds didn't know where she was. She sat up and as her stomach squirmed she recalled everything that had happened the night before. She turned to her left, expecting to see Ron sprawled out on the bed next to her, but fear gripped her when she saw no trace of him. She looked around, looking for some sign that he had just popped out the room for something, but she couldn't see his robes, his backpack or the little box he had brought with him. There was no hastily scribbled note, no sign whatsoever of how things stood between them.
She looked around the room once more, apparently numb to everything she should be feeling. She unhooked her robes off the back off the door, pulled her shoes on and with one last look at a room she knew she'd never forget, and she left.
...oooOOOooo...
She flicked through to the end of the book and took out the rumpled piece of parchment that was neatly folded in two. She had read these words so many times but her heart still pounded every time she did as if it was the first.
Hermione,
There's a launch party... signing... thing in Diagon Alley, Flourish and Blotts if you'll believe it! I want you to be there, none of this would have happened if you hadn't suggested it, and I miss you. Next Friday night, Harry says he can get you a portkey sorted if you need it.
Really hope to see you there,
Love, Ron x
She traced her finger along the ragged edge at the bottom of the parchment. She hadn't waited to think about anything other than the fact that nothing would stop her being there, tore off the parchment and scribbled her reply. She remembered what she wrote as if she had just put ink to parchment.
Ron,
I wouldn't miss it for anything. See you next Friday.
Love, Hermione x
She smirked when the memory so recently uncovered came back to her again. She never found out from Ron his story of what had happened that evening and it didn't matter now, anyway. Maybe if she'd stayed things could have been different. She knew that it wasn't that decision that had taken her life on a different course than she expected, it was the decision she made in the French hotel room that had done that.
She replaced the parchment in the back of the book and walked through to her bedroom. She put the book in its rightful place on the bookcase and lay on her bed. She closed her eyes, trying not to torture herself with the memories that haunted her almost daily.
She heard the fireplace roar but because she was expecting Ginny sometime soon, didn't move or flinch.
'Hermione?'
Her eyes snapped open at hearing Ron's voice. She stopped herself jumping up and running out to greet him, she was still annoyed about what had happened at the Harpies' mid season ball, and part of her just couldn't be bothered with any more heartache that might occur through any conversation with him. She wasn't expecting him to knock on her door again, and before she had thought about what she would do, he had turned and walked back through to the lounge.
'That's the second time you've left without saying anything,' she said without raising her voice or without opening her eyes.
She heard footsteps and the door opening.
'I thought you were asleep.'
She opened her eyes and sat up.
'You could have woken me. It's hardly late.'
Ron leant against the doorframe.
'I've come to apologise, and yes, I should have done it before now, but maybe... Maybe I was avoiding it because I don't want to fight with you. I hate fighting with you.'
She smirked. 'Ron, we've been fighting since we met.'
He frowned and shook his head. 'We argued and bickered, that's what we did, but fighting's different. I hated it then and I hate it now. Anyway... I'm sorry you got upset the other night. I didn't mean to do that. I never mean to do that.'
Hermione frowned. 'So, you're not sorry about what you said, just that I got upset about it?'
Ron matched her expression. 'I'm not going to apologise for caring about you and wanting the best for you!' He pushed himself away from the doorframe and took a step into the bedroom.
'So, you're not going to apologise for telling me how to run my life when it's got nothing to do with you?'
'I wasn't telling you how to run your life!'
'You were telling me that the man I was talking to wasn't good enough for me! How is that you not telling me how to run my life!'
She thought she heard something in the lounge but didn't look. She presumed it was Ginny returning home. Ron didn't turn at the sound.
'I just-. He's not-.'
'You?'
The word hung between them and Ron slumped back against the doorframe.
'That's not...'
'No, I know it's not what you meant but it's what it looks like Ron. I told you that night, I get that you're with Mattie but I don't get your behaviour. I made my choice and I have to live with that, you know how I feel about... well, that's neither here nor there... and I've stopped completing sentences so I'm going to accept your half arsed attempt at an apology and suggest you go home.'
'Hermione, don't be like that.'
'Like what, Ron? I don't know what you want me to say! You're sorry for upsetting me, fine, I accept that, but what else is there for me or for you to say?'
'It was Mattie's idea, you know,' he said with a smirk.
'What was?' she asked aggravated at the mention of Mattie's name and the random change in conversation.
'That we go to the party together. She said it would be nice for us to spend time together and catch up.'
'Oh, well, at least I now have one reason not to like her,' she had mumbled the sentence, but loud enough for Ron to hear.
'What's that supposed to mean?' He took a step towards her, obviously needing to defend Mattie. Hermione inwardly rolled her eyes.
'It means that I didn't have a legitimate reason to not like her, but now I do! If she hadn't suggested we go together we wouldn't be arguing!'
She knew it was childish but she didn't care. She just wanted this conversation over and done with.
'You're trying to find reasons to dislike her? Hermione, that's... ridiculously childish.'
'Yes, you're right, but until I find another way to deal with my bitterness and disappointment this will have to do.'
'So you don't like Mattie?'
'Merlin, Ron, why does it matter what I think?'
'Because it does!'
Part of her was happy that Ron obviously cared what she thought, and a part of her wished he didn't.
'How can I like her, Ron? I was naive, I admit. I thought I'd come back home and we could try again at what we failed at miserably, but Mattie did the sensible thing and caught you and grabbed on to you and isn't letting go. She's what I want to be and for that, I can't like her. Is that what you wanted to hear?'
She took the few steps towards the bedroom door and took the wood in her left hand. Ron didn't move back but turned to look at her. Movement caught her eye and her head whipped round to look through to the lounge. It was dark as she had extinguished all the light. Someone was taking the pot of Floo powder off the fireplace.
'No need to go, Gin, Ron was just leaving.'
'Home to me, I hope,' Hermione's heart raced as Mattie's voice reached her ears.
'Mattie?' Ron said, fear in his voice.
'Actually, I'll be at my flat, Ron, suddenly I don't feel like spending the night with you. I'll see you at the publishers tomorrow. The meeting starts at nine, sharp.'
'No! Mattie, wait!'
Hermione watched as Mattie threw the powder into the fireplace and disappeared in a rush of green flames.
'Shit!' Ron shouted as he hurried towards the fireplace.
'Just a word of advice, Ron,' Hermione said as he scrambled for some Floo Powder. He turned to look at her his hand poised with green powder in hand.
'Apologise better to Mattie than you did to me.'
For: queenb23more who bid for this on the help_chile community.
Chapter Rating: Nc-17. There be smut!
Chapter Warnings: Angst, swearing, smut
Featured Characters/Pairings: Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Harry, OFC, Ron/OFC, Ron/Hermione
Chapter Word Count: 6,024
Summary: Hermione's life is not what she expected it to be and she doesn't know how to change it. Will moving back to what she knows help? Or if she pinning all her hopes on a dream that ended years before?
Author's Note: Flashback time, and hopefully an explanation to all the wtfery going on. Just don't stab me with a quill when you're finished reading. Have faith! :D
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
Leaning Slightly to the Left
Revelation
She had spent the last couple of weeks avoiding Ron at all cost, to the point that when he came round one evening she pretended to be in her room asleep. She had found a note in the fireplace when she came home telling her he was coming over to see her, and when he arrived she had been lying on her bed reading. She wasn't sure why she did it, but when he walked through the house trying to find her, she just closed her eyes and let her book fall to the bed.
He poked his head around her door after knocking and telling her he was coming in. She heard him sigh and thought she could detect a smile when he did. She wondered what he would do, whether he would wake her and say what he wanted or walk away and leave it unsaid. He walked away.
She was disappointed, wanting to know that he needed to talk to her, but she knew that playing games with him was ridiculous and childish and she decided not to do it again.
But she hadn't had the chance because she had no reason to see Ron, and she hadn't made the effort to do so. She knew the longer she left it before seeing him the more impact there would be when she did, but at the minute she needed the escapism.
Which is why she found it very bizarre to find herself reading Right Hand Man. Again. She had flicked through the many pages, and had read Ron's account of the time he had spent at Shell Cottage without her and Harry. She had read his words describing how she had been tortured, and finally she had read the final chapter where the madness had ended and their future was just beginning.
She remembered the way he had stared at her while they sat at the table waiting for something to happen and she remembered him leaning in and kissing her. Before she knew it, she was remembering far more than she wanted to.
...oooOOOOoo...
2nd May 1997
She wasn't entirely sure how she felt. So much had happened and she could barely remember some of it. All she knew for certain was that she was alive, Harry and Ron were alive, other people she cared about were alive, but other people she cared about were not.
She wanted to jump up and down and run around with the relief that she had a life to live how she wanted, without oppression and the weight of something huge pressing down on her shoulders, but she didn't because she also wanted to sit where she was and cry because of everything she had had to do and everything she had been through. She felt like she was going to burst with all the things she was feeling, but at the same time she felt empty.
She looked at the wand in her hand - the wand she hadn't let go of since they arrived at Hogwarts - and was both terrified at what it had done to her and thankful that she had it.
Confusion didn't even begin to cover it.
For the seventh time in the past hour - she had no idea why she was counting - she felt tears burn her eyes and she turned to look at Ron. He was staring at the table in front of him and he looked afraid and shocked and her stomach squirmed in fear.
'What is it? What's wrong?'
He turned to look at her and she was partly relieved to see his expression change and a smile appear on his face. He leant forward and kissed her, taking her completely off guard, and she couldn't help but smile. This is what she wanted. Small things that were new and exciting but felt natural. She wanted to do this all day long, even though that was a ridiculous notion.
They both pulled apart and rested their foreheads together.
'Um...' she started before inwardly rolling her eyes at herself for not having a clue what to say.
'Fancy a walk?' Ron asked as he took her hand.
She sat up and smiled at him.
'Sounds lovely.'
.oOo.
3rd June 1998
'They want me to go to France.'
She knew she should have softened the blow a little but she had been so taken aback by the news that her brain was past being cautious.
'They what?'
His expression was half smirk, half confusion. She sighed.
'They want me to do part of my training in France. Same job, same training, just in... France.'
'France, France?'
'How many Frances do you know?'
Ron shook his head as if clearing his thoughts.
'Sorry, right. France. Wow!'
'Yeah. Wow.'
'You don't sound very enthusiastic about it.'
She knew he was keeping what he really felt to himself and she loved him for that but didn't want him to.
'I... honestly I don't know how to feel. It's an amazing opportunity and a privilege to be asked but... I'd be in France and you'd be here.'
He nodded. 'Yeah.'
'Ron, please say something.'
It was as if she could see his defences slide up.
'Thought I was!'
'You know what I mean!' she snapped. She closed her eyes and sighed, trying to calm herself down. She didn't want this to turn into an argument. She hated fighting with Ron. 'I want to know how you feel about it. Whether you think I should do my training at the French Ministry or whether I should stay here. Whether you'll hate me if I go. Whether we'll be okay if I did...'
Ron nodded and stepped towards her. Hermione held out her hand to him and he pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his robes.
'How many people have they asked to go?'
'Just me. Apparently my N.E.W.T marks are... well, good, so the Ministry want to... McGonagal said the Ministry wants to show me off a little.'
She had mumbled the last half of her sentence into his chest and she felt the rumble of his chuckle.
'Even on leaving school you're a swat!'
She managed half a smile.
'When you say your results are good, what are they? Did they tell you?'
She shook her head. 'Not specifically, only that in one of my papers I'd... beaten all previous scores.'
Ron pushed her away from him but kept a tight hold on her shoulders.
'You got the highest score ever in one of your exams?'
She nodded and gave a small smile.
'Hermione, that's... you're brilliant, you know that?'
She managed a genuine smile. 'You have a habit of telling me when I most need it.'
Ron leaned towards her and kissed her hard and hugged her.
'You need to go to France,' he said quietly into her hair.
She pulled back and stared at him.
'But-.'
'I'm not going to be the reason that you don't go and dazzle the world with how brilliant you are.'
'But, Ron, I can take the same job in this country. The fact that it's in France only adds to the fact I have to become fluent in another language to the whole thing.'
'And therefore challenging you and giving you more chances to shine.'
'But what's the point of shining if you're lonely?'
'Hermione. Look at me.' She had resolutely been looking at the collar on his robes and finally looked into his eyes. 'I'm going nowhere. I start training soon and I'll be just as tied up with work as you. I love you enough to know that we will work through this. There's weekends, there's international portkeys, and there are owls. We'll be fine. I didn't go through all that crap fighting evil to lose you because of a bit of sea, okay? We'll be fine. Forever and eternity, yeah?'
She smiled and nodded, tears burning her eyes.
'Forever and eternity.'
.oOo.
24th September 1999
She was pacing and reading and reading and pacing and wasn't going to stop any time soon. The parchment in her hand was possibly the most important thing she had ever written and she was determined it was going to be perfect. She knew that she had only been given the job of writing her boss's opening statement for the trial he was about to be a part of because he was lazy. He had worded it as though he was giving her a big break, but after only a year of training this wasn't going to fast track her anyway soon. Even so, she jumped at the chance and had read and re-read her boss's notes on the crime and all the evidence there was.
She had been concise, to the point, and had what she thought was a very healthy opening statement. She had asked her friend, Isabelle to check her grammar as she was still not quite confident enough with her French to leave it as it was, and was now checking through it one last time before she left it on the desk behind her and left for the afternoon.
There was a knock on the door but she kept on reading and pacing.
'Entré,' she said, her eyes carrying along the parchment as if she hadn't been disturbed. She heard the door open but still carried on reading.
'I don't think I'll ever stop finding you speaking French, sexy.'
Her head snapped towards the door and her eyes fell on Ron in his Ministry robes, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
'Ron!'
All thoughts of the parchment in her hand disappeared. She hurried around the desk and threw herself into his outstretched arms. He picked her up and spun her around. Happiness bubbled through her and she laughed into his shoulder.
'What are you doing here?' she asked as he put her down, but kept a tight hold around her waist.
'What do you think I'm doing here? I'm here to see my wonderful, gorgeous, sexy, French speaking girlfriend and spend the weekend with her.'
She smiled wider than she thought possible.
'You're here for the whole weekend?'
'I am! I've booked a hotel for us so you don't have to worry about anything and we can just relax for the next two days. Providing you don't have anything else planned, of course.'
She playfully hit him on the shoulder.
'Even if I did have plans, I'd cancel them for you.'
He grinned and leaned down to kiss her. She closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of him and couldn't help but smile as he kissed her. She sucked on his tongue and grabbed a handful of his longer-than-she-remembered hair. They broke apart panting.
'I suggest that we stop this unless you want me to throw you on that desk and shag you senseless.'
She giggled and took half a step back from him. 'Well, Adrian is due back soon so that could be... awkward to say the least.'
He grinned at her. 'You're thinking about it though, aren't you?'
She laughed. 'I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.'
'Liar. When do you finish?'
'Actually I finish now, but then I'm back at six for a couple of hours to get everything sorted for the trial on Monday.'
'So, a late dinner about eight is okay?'
She frowned. 'Make it nine, just to be sure.'
Ron nodded and smiled. 'So, you have a couple of hours now, then?' he asked with a smirk.
Hermione tried to hide her smile. 'I might have. That depends entirely what you plan to do with me!'
He stepped in to her and grinned. 'Well, you need, what? Ten minutes to snack? Twenty minutes to get ready for our meal into something that is both sexy but still okay for your meeting, so that leaves us with a whole hour and an added thirty minutes bonus time to do whatever we like.'
'Oh, I think we can find plenty of things to fill that time.'
~~~
She landed heavily on the mattress and instantly Ron was hovering over her and kissing her like she was the oxygen his body needed to survive.
She fisted his hair and scrabbled at the buttons on his shirt. He was fumbling with the clasps on her trousers and growled in frustration when he couldn't get them open.
'Ron?' Hermione said when he took a second to look at the obstruction that was annoying him. 'I know we don't have a lot of time, but we have longer than ten minutes!'
Ron grinned at her. 'I know, but if I don't have you now I will actually die. After I've shagged you through the mattress then we can take it slow.'
Hermione rolled her eyes at his exaggeration but smiled. She reached inside her robes and grasped her wand. 'Well, why didn't you say so?'
She waved her wand and all their clothes disappeared. She waved it once more and they reappeared in a heap by the side of the bed. Another, well practiced, wave and her wand joined the clothes on the floor.
Ron looked at her and she bit her bottom lip. She had no idea why she felt self conscious when his eyes raked over her body, but she did.
'Merlin, you're beautiful.'
She didn't have time to smile before his body covered hers. His hand was in her hair and the other was kneading her breast. She brought her legs up and dug her heels into his arse, trying to push him forwards. He sucked on her neck and brought his hand to her folds and brushed over her clit.
'Fuck!' she exclaimed.
Ron growled and she felt him push against her. He was teasing her, nudging forwards ever so slightly. She pushed with her heels and he entered her. She gasped and wrapped her arms around him. He pushed forwards again and she tilted her hips slightly so he could push further. He cried into her hair and started thrusting.
'I love... you... so much,' he said, pushing himself onto one elbow so he could look into her eyes.
'Love you... too,' she replied as his hand found her clit once more.
Her hips met his every thrust in a well practiced rhythm and she sucked on his shoulder and kissed his neck.
'This is gonna be short and sweet, babe, just so you know. Missed this... so... fucking much!'
She bit her lip to stop her shouting out loud at the sensations tearing through her and she knew she was close to orgasm.
'As long as you don't leave me... hanging... my lo-ove!'
Her orgasm shook through her and she pulled Ron to her as he shouted obscenities to the room. He collapsed on top of her and his hips jerked out of rhythm before he finally stilled. She kissed his hair and he rolled them over so she was lying on his chest and breathing him in.
'Fuck, I've missed this,' Ron said in a whisper.
Hermione pushed herself up and rocked her hips against him causing a high pitched whimper from Ron.
'I guessed that,' she said with a grin. 'And I can see you're fine if I stay here and slow the pace down slightly.'
He placed his hands on her thighs and grinned widely.
'Take it as slowly as you want, my love.'
~~~
The paperwork pile had been taller than she had ever anticipated but she had to work through it, the trial was first thing Monday morning after all. Thankfully there were three other people there to work through it with her, so she was optimistic that it would all be done in the three hours she had and set to work.
~~~
'Hermione, vous n'auriez pas dû partir?'
Hermione's head snapped up from her parchment. She was on the last section and was hurrying through but had lost track of the time.
'Quelle heur et il?' she asked her co-worker.
'Il est... neuf heures et demie.'
'Shit!'
She turned back to her parchment and ignored the raised eyebrows as she scribbled something down. She threw the paper on her pile and as she left the room she told her colleagues that she had finished and begged them to put her pile of paper with theirs in the correct order. They agreed and said goodbye to her with a smile.
~~~
'Ron, I'm so sorry I'm late. The paperwork we were left was ridiculous and I did it as quickly as I could but I lost track of the time and-.'
He had kissed her to stop her talking. She pulled back and blushed.
'Sorry.'
'Stop apologising, it's fine. You're here now and that's all that matters. They're running a bit late anyway.
He pulled her chair out from underneath the table and motioned that she should sit down. She hid her bulky work bag under the table and straightened herself out before taking the seat.
'Thank you. And thank you for this, Ron.'
She motioned around her and she relaxed when she saw him smile.
'You're welcome. Would you like some of the normal wine or would you like to try the special one they've been trying to get me to order since I sat down?'
She chuckled. 'Why do I get the impression that the special one comes with a special price?'
Ron grinned. 'I think your impression would be right, but ignore the astronomical pricing. Tonight is... special... so, order what you want.'
Hermione nodded and blushed a little even though she had no idea why she did. Ron reached across the table and took her hands in his.
'I miss stuff like this,' he said quietly.
She nodded. 'I know. I do, too.'
She looked at him and thought he was going to carry on the conversation but instead he smiled and started talking about Harry and Ginny instead. She loved hearing about how everyone was doing and it was with a twinge of regret that she realised how much she was missing at home. Though the conversation was easy she thought Ron was holding something back and he was fidgeting more than was normal for him. She didn't mention it and they ate their starters and main course with contented conversation and a lot of giggling.
They were waiting to look at the desert menu when the waiter arrived with a small, tightly wound scroll.
'Un message est arrivé pour vous, Mademoiselle Granger,' he turned and left as soon as he had placed the scroll on the table.
Not having the time to thank him, Hermione frowned and looked at Ron. She fumbled in her robes for her wand and tapped the scroll. It unravelled and she read the words. Her heart sank and she sighed.
'What is it?' Ron asked.
'Adrian's dropped some more paperwork into the office and wants me there to go through it.'
'Now?' Ron asked, his tone annoyed.
'The trial's Monday, it's either now or tomorrow or Sunday. I'd rather get it over and done with.'
'But we haven't finished here yet! Can't it wait? I'm only here for the weekend and I... I want to spend every minute possible with you.'
She reached over and took his hands. 'I know it's rubbish timing, and I'm sorry but it's best I get this out the way, isn't it? I'll make it up to you, later. I promise.'
She smiled at him and after a few seconds his frown turned into half a smile.
'Shall I get pudding to take to the hotel?' he asked.
'Sounds like an excellent idea. Hopefully I should be back in a couple of hours. Nothing major seemed to be missing earlier so I can't imagine it's going to take too long.'
Ron nodded and took her hands in his. He kissed her knuckles and she stood. Ron took a card out of his pocket and handed it to her.
'The address of the hotel where we're staying,' he said with a smile.
Her eyes scanned over the address and her eyebrows raised.
'Ron! This is the most exclusive and overpriced hotel in France! How did you get us in there?'
Ron grinned, obviously please with himself. 'Our best friend is Harry Potter. Pulling a few strings was not difficult!'
Hermione giggled and mouthed 'I love you' at him.
'I love you, too. Room three-one-seven, I'll let everyone know you're respectable enough to come in.'
'Why, thank you! I'll see you soon.'
~~~
'Soon' had been far too optimistic. She had been hoping to be back at the hotel with Ron for eleven, but it was now nearly half past midnight and she didn't know how upset or angry Ron would be when she opened the door. She knocked quietly and waited to hear footsteps. She heard nothing so pushed the door and was relieved when it opened. She presumed Ron was asleep, she couldn't blame him, so she locked the door behind her and toed off her shoes. She hung her robes on the door hook and looked through to the deceptively large room.
She smiled when she saw Ron lying on his back, dead to the world. She tip toed around to the other side of the bed, intent on waking him up in his favourite way, when something on the floor caught her eye. She squinted in the soft lamp light and bent down to see what had obviously dropped out of Ron's hand and on to the floor. Her heart began to race when she noticed it was a small, square, velvet covered box.
She reached out and picked it up. She felt the hinge on one side and followed the break around the other sides. She walked to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down, her elbows on her knees and her hands passing the box from left to right.
She didn't have a clue what she was feeling. Her initial excitement had been replaced by uncertainty and - she was somewhat ashamed to admit it - fear.
She loved Ron, of this she was sure, but marriage? She had just turned twenty years old and she lived in a different country to him! When she thought about the future she thought about a future with Ron in it and never anything different. But she thought about that future after she had done her six years hard graft and when Ron was fully qualified and comfortable in his position at the Auror department.
Thoughts flew through her mind, what might happen if she said yes, what might happen if she said... no. But it wasn't no, it was a yes-in-a-few-years. She would never say no to Ron, she just wasn't sure if saying yes now was the right thing to do. There was so much she wanted to do with her life and it scared her that marriage might put an end to that. It was a ridiculous notion, having a ring on her finger wouldn't stop her doing anything, that was a stereotype and something she knew Ron would be mortified about if he knew she had even thought that for a second.
But was it a good idea to get engaged when they lived in different countries, both worked most of the hours in the day and only occasionally managed to see each other at weekends? She didn’t know, and the thought of making that decision now scared her.
She heard him shuffle and her heart pounded in her chest.
'You're here!' he said, his voice a little gruff and his eyes half shut.
'Ron, what's this?' she held out the box towards him and watched as his expression went from terror to disappointment and then to a forced calm.
'I mean I think I might know what it is but I haven't opened it yet.'
He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He straightened his tie which he still hadn't taken off from dinner and stood up.
'I wanted it to be a surprise,' he said, the disappointment in his voice coming through.
He took the box off her and knelt on one knee in front of her. He opened the box and turned it towards her. Her breath caught at the ring inside. It was a thin gold band with a solitaire diamond and two smaller sapphires on either side.
'Hermione, I love you and I will love you forever and eternity. Would you do me the greatest honour, and say you'll marry me?'
Part of her was screaming 'yes' but the other half couldn't say a thing.
She took his hand and stood in front of him, he followed her and looked at her with a confused look on his face.
'Do you think we're ready for marriage?'
He smiled. 'I've been ready to marry you for years, Hermione.'
'But we live in different countries, Ron!'
'And that's why I'm doing this! I want to stop being apart from you! I miss you so much and we're... we're...'
He had taken a step back and was running a hand through his hair.
'We're what?' she asked in a whisper.
'We're drifting apart! We only owl every couple of weeks, we're lucky if we see each other every six months... I just... I don't know what's going to happen...'
'So you thought proposing would fix it all?' She tried to raise her voice above a whisper but she couldn't.
'I thought proposing would show you that I want this to work so badly and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you!' she knew he was frustrated and angry and he was struggling to keep his temper under control.
'Ron, believe me when I say I want to spend the rest of my life with you-.'
'So say yes!'
'But I don't think we're ready for this! When we're settled in our careers and when we know we can spend all day, every day together without driving each other mad then that's the time we can start thinking about marriage.'
He slumped down on to the edge of the bed, and Hermione looked at him as his shoulders slumped and as he scrubbed at his face with his hands.
'You're saying no!' His voice cracked and she felt tears burn her eyes.
She sat on the bed next to him and took his hand in hers.
'I'm not saying no! I'm saying some day in the future. I'll say it again, I love you, Ron and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I just think we need to be a couple for longer before we have this huge... pressure and title to live up to! After everything we've been through I think we need to take the time to be us. Okay?'
He replied by falling back on the bed and closing his eyes. She crawled up the bed and pushed herself under his arm and draped herself over his body, trying to show him that everything would be all right.
'I love you,' she whispered into his chest.
She was relieved when his arm curled around her waist and stroked up and down her side.
'I love you, too.'
She closed her eyes and listened to Ron's heartbeat.
'Forever and eternity.'
She fell asleep before she heard his reply.
~~~
She woke up and for a few seconds didn't know where she was. She sat up and as her stomach squirmed she recalled everything that had happened the night before. She turned to her left, expecting to see Ron sprawled out on the bed next to her, but fear gripped her when she saw no trace of him. She looked around, looking for some sign that he had just popped out the room for something, but she couldn't see his robes, his backpack or the little box he had brought with him. There was no hastily scribbled note, no sign whatsoever of how things stood between them.
She looked around the room once more, apparently numb to everything she should be feeling. She unhooked her robes off the back off the door, pulled her shoes on and with one last look at a room she knew she'd never forget, and she left.
...oooOOOooo...
She flicked through to the end of the book and took out the rumpled piece of parchment that was neatly folded in two. She had read these words so many times but her heart still pounded every time she did as if it was the first.
Hermione,
There's a launch party... signing... thing in Diagon Alley, Flourish and Blotts if you'll believe it! I want you to be there, none of this would have happened if you hadn't suggested it, and I miss you. Next Friday night, Harry says he can get you a portkey sorted if you need it.
Really hope to see you there,
Love, Ron x
She traced her finger along the ragged edge at the bottom of the parchment. She hadn't waited to think about anything other than the fact that nothing would stop her being there, tore off the parchment and scribbled her reply. She remembered what she wrote as if she had just put ink to parchment.
Ron,
I wouldn't miss it for anything. See you next Friday.
Love, Hermione x
She smirked when the memory so recently uncovered came back to her again. She never found out from Ron his story of what had happened that evening and it didn't matter now, anyway. Maybe if she'd stayed things could have been different. She knew that it wasn't that decision that had taken her life on a different course than she expected, it was the decision she made in the French hotel room that had done that.
She replaced the parchment in the back of the book and walked through to her bedroom. She put the book in its rightful place on the bookcase and lay on her bed. She closed her eyes, trying not to torture herself with the memories that haunted her almost daily.
She heard the fireplace roar but because she was expecting Ginny sometime soon, didn't move or flinch.
'Hermione?'
Her eyes snapped open at hearing Ron's voice. She stopped herself jumping up and running out to greet him, she was still annoyed about what had happened at the Harpies' mid season ball, and part of her just couldn't be bothered with any more heartache that might occur through any conversation with him. She wasn't expecting him to knock on her door again, and before she had thought about what she would do, he had turned and walked back through to the lounge.
'That's the second time you've left without saying anything,' she said without raising her voice or without opening her eyes.
She heard footsteps and the door opening.
'I thought you were asleep.'
She opened her eyes and sat up.
'You could have woken me. It's hardly late.'
Ron leant against the doorframe.
'I've come to apologise, and yes, I should have done it before now, but maybe... Maybe I was avoiding it because I don't want to fight with you. I hate fighting with you.'
She smirked. 'Ron, we've been fighting since we met.'
He frowned and shook his head. 'We argued and bickered, that's what we did, but fighting's different. I hated it then and I hate it now. Anyway... I'm sorry you got upset the other night. I didn't mean to do that. I never mean to do that.'
Hermione frowned. 'So, you're not sorry about what you said, just that I got upset about it?'
Ron matched her expression. 'I'm not going to apologise for caring about you and wanting the best for you!' He pushed himself away from the doorframe and took a step into the bedroom.
'So, you're not going to apologise for telling me how to run my life when it's got nothing to do with you?'
'I wasn't telling you how to run your life!'
'You were telling me that the man I was talking to wasn't good enough for me! How is that you not telling me how to run my life!'
She thought she heard something in the lounge but didn't look. She presumed it was Ginny returning home. Ron didn't turn at the sound.
'I just-. He's not-.'
'You?'
The word hung between them and Ron slumped back against the doorframe.
'That's not...'
'No, I know it's not what you meant but it's what it looks like Ron. I told you that night, I get that you're with Mattie but I don't get your behaviour. I made my choice and I have to live with that, you know how I feel about... well, that's neither here nor there... and I've stopped completing sentences so I'm going to accept your half arsed attempt at an apology and suggest you go home.'
'Hermione, don't be like that.'
'Like what, Ron? I don't know what you want me to say! You're sorry for upsetting me, fine, I accept that, but what else is there for me or for you to say?'
'It was Mattie's idea, you know,' he said with a smirk.
'What was?' she asked aggravated at the mention of Mattie's name and the random change in conversation.
'That we go to the party together. She said it would be nice for us to spend time together and catch up.'
'Oh, well, at least I now have one reason not to like her,' she had mumbled the sentence, but loud enough for Ron to hear.
'What's that supposed to mean?' He took a step towards her, obviously needing to defend Mattie. Hermione inwardly rolled her eyes.
'It means that I didn't have a legitimate reason to not like her, but now I do! If she hadn't suggested we go together we wouldn't be arguing!'
She knew it was childish but she didn't care. She just wanted this conversation over and done with.
'You're trying to find reasons to dislike her? Hermione, that's... ridiculously childish.'
'Yes, you're right, but until I find another way to deal with my bitterness and disappointment this will have to do.'
'So you don't like Mattie?'
'Merlin, Ron, why does it matter what I think?'
'Because it does!'
Part of her was happy that Ron obviously cared what she thought, and a part of her wished he didn't.
'How can I like her, Ron? I was naive, I admit. I thought I'd come back home and we could try again at what we failed at miserably, but Mattie did the sensible thing and caught you and grabbed on to you and isn't letting go. She's what I want to be and for that, I can't like her. Is that what you wanted to hear?'
She took the few steps towards the bedroom door and took the wood in her left hand. Ron didn't move back but turned to look at her. Movement caught her eye and her head whipped round to look through to the lounge. It was dark as she had extinguished all the light. Someone was taking the pot of Floo powder off the fireplace.
'No need to go, Gin, Ron was just leaving.'
'Home to me, I hope,' Hermione's heart raced as Mattie's voice reached her ears.
'Mattie?' Ron said, fear in his voice.
'Actually, I'll be at my flat, Ron, suddenly I don't feel like spending the night with you. I'll see you at the publishers tomorrow. The meeting starts at nine, sharp.'
'No! Mattie, wait!'
Hermione watched as Mattie threw the powder into the fireplace and disappeared in a rush of green flames.
'Shit!' Ron shouted as he hurried towards the fireplace.
'Just a word of advice, Ron,' Hermione said as he scrambled for some Floo Powder. He turned to look at her his hand poised with green powder in hand.
'Apologise better to Mattie than you did to me.'