Okay, so, I'll never be able to leave a comment that's going to do this fic justice. It's fantastic, it really is. The flow of it is breathtaking, I love how disjointed it is, but not. It's so beautiful. Beautiful. Everybody is brilliantly in character. I kept rooting for Alex/Cristina, haha, but I know it's Alex/Lexie. I love that the girls both separated from their 'husbands' and how Mark didn't understand Lexie- so perfect.
Just perfect.
So yeah, like I said. This isn't going to even do justice for your fic. But great work.
I kept rooting for Alex/Cristina, haha, but I know it's Alex/Lexie
This fic comes in three different flavors (aka, three different drafts), one he ends up with Lexie, one he ends up with Cristina (i'm not joking), and one he ends up with no one (which, honestly, is what this is). I scrapped the first two simply because I couldn't get either of them to work without feeling even more forced than it already did (you ever get to the end of something and just cant' finish? Because that was me all morning.). So, it was set up, at one point, to go the way of Alex/Cristina...it just didn't.
how Mark didn't understand LexieI think I got a little preachy there, in that one section, but I was half asleep -- hadn't really been to bed yet -- and got an idea and, there I sat, four in the morning, jotting it down in my little notebook. That's the unedited version of it, believe it or not. Which you probably do, because it's probably preachy, haha
( ... )
And... SHIT. YOU CAN'T READ MINE NOW BECAUSE COMPARED TO THIS IT'S LIKE... RUBBISH!!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you've captured Alex's resignation in this. It's the one thing I felt the whole way through. Like stuff was just happening to him and around him and he had no control over any of it anyway so why pretend to fight it. I loved the bit with Wyatt about control, because, the way I saw it, Alex had NO control and by not caring he kinda managed to regain some? Even if it was only an illusion (specific example: the whole situation with Lexie).
She pulls her hand back reluctantly, lingering a few moments longer than necessary, and then she settles into the space allotted to her, close but not too close, a thin line of mattress separating them - the physical manifestation of all the places where he won’t let her in and she won’t try hard enough to break on through.
And that will always be the problem. THIS IS PERFECTION! It's like, my WHOLE VIEW of their relationship tied up into a couple of neat,
( ... )
Seriously, out of everyone, your review means the most to me because you kept pushing me when I really needed it. Also, shut up, yours is not rubbish and I will have a review in your inbox by the time the day is over.
What I really love about this review, by the way, is that you're picking out all the parts that were either added last minute after a million rewrites (Wyatt's comment about control) or were my absolute favorite lines (the space between situation is actually leftovers from a much longer, much more dull scene that I ditched in order to keep it shorter and more to the point; I couldn't let those few lines go though).
I'm answering the next comment too, because I have thoughts and I talk too much, but thank you so much for being so wonderful. You are too kind to me.
Oh, right. Cristina. (I wasn't there, but I am now...).
I must admit that I did initially think you were gonna 'go there' with A/C towards the end... and I was kinda rooting for it. But then I put aside my Owen hatred and my need to get back at him and I really thought about it... and I AM SO GLAD YOU DIDN'T. It made what happened so much more meaningful that they really all just did it as friends. No ulterior motive.
Back to Alex/Lexie: “He was always the better guy,” he whispers, at the wedding, her skin cold underneath his fingertips, that little shiver she gives running straight into his body.
Alex kisses her cheek.
(She forgets to believe him.)
THE LAST LINE KILLLLLLED MEEEE!
and this: (She opens her mouth to him, lets a hand curl around to the nape of his neck and the press of his body against hers be the only thing holding that towel in place, because, momentarily, she forgets not to.
They’re both the same in that way; always forgetting to push the other away.)And this is also so, so
( ... )
I know I said this to nursebadass, but I'm saying it again: there were three versions of this originally, and the second was definitely Alex/Cristina. And it just didn't work. I felt like I was compromising the story I was trying to tell because, really, Cristina was just the thing that pushes him over the edge and sends his ass to therapy. Because she's a mess and Meredith's gone and that leaves him to deal with it, and he doesn't really know what to do with her any more than he did with Lexie earlier on, except he can't just tell her to get out and end things in the hopes that someone else will deal with it. That's not an option. So, in a way, it forced him to address his own problems to some degree
( ... )
I'll start this by quickly saying that I didn't mean to sound dismissive of mine I always think people who say "my story is crap" are only looking for other people to turn around and say "oh no, it was fabulous" and that's not what I was intending! I guess I've been dulled to it a bit by the fact that well, one... I wrote it! And two... after the 379th read through, things tend to lose their impact! Haha! So, I guess I'm not a very good/subjective judge on it at the moment...!
Okay. Right. Where was I? Replying to your reply!
I hadnt read your explanation to nursebadass, so I wasn't aware of the three versions and the existence of a A/C alternative. I stand by my initial point of being so pleased you didn't go there. I think you're right, it would have diluted what happened, and changed a dynamic between them that would have sent them spiralling in a completely different direction. A/C would be hot together, but they'd be even more dysfunctional than even Alex/Rebecca was! It could never be a healthy relationship and I don't think a hook up
( ... )
Oh no, I didn't think you meant it like that. I just mean...don't sell yourself short ;) But you're right, you read through things enough and you start to almost hate it. Or at least I do.
I agree, A/C could never be a healthy relationship. There is too much wrong with them individually. Plus, like you said then it would've been the 'how Alex/Cristina get together story' which was so not what I was after. There's a reason this is Alex centric according to the subject line.
I feel like, on the show at the moment, they're starting to lose it.They've always been really bad with being consistent on a friendship aspect. Meredith/Cristina is really the only thing that they really remember to follow through with, so I'm used to Alex breaking off a little bit. A lot of my fixation with Alex+Meredith and, to a lesser degree, Alex+Cristina, is due to my own invention. But I know what you're saying -- they really are sacrificing a lot by trying to make the new fab five work (which I will never buy but whatever, I don't like change or
( ... )
This is fabulous, as I knew it would be after the first part. You have a real gift for unearthing the depth inside canon, and finding a balance between the feel of the show and reality in your dialogue, and those are just a couple of the things that make your writing (and this is a great example) awesome.
I loved the organic development of Alex and Lexie. I really liked your explanation for Mark and Lexie not being able to stay together. He doesn't understand, and I liked how you made that a natural consequence of their being at different stages. I LOVED your Alex, I loved being in his head as he evolved. And, while I could pick out probably a hundred brilliant lines (at least), I'm going with this as gorgeous, in-character, cautious bit of optimism that made me let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding while I was reading:
For the longest moment he doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to get in that metal box, isn’t sure he wants to do it with that particular woman either. But she’s looking at him like everything’s fine and
( ... )
Wow, I suck. I was sure I'd replied to this loveliness before.
Um. THANK YOU. Seriously, this feedback killed me. I think this fic broke my brain a little because it was so long (for me), so hearing such wonderful things from people who's writing is so beyond kickass is such a joy and a relief.
He doesn't understand, and I liked how you made that a natural consequence of their being at different stages.This was exactly what I was trying to convey. I think a few people round these parts assume that my distaste for Mark/Lexie comes from the part of me that ships the hell out of Alex/Lexie. And that's just not it. It's that it doesn't, at this point in their lives, really work. Granted that's just my opinion but the point is that it doesn't come from some place irrationally hateful like I feel like people believe it does. Sometimes people just can't it together and I really believe that Mark and Lexie are those people right now
( ... )
Comments 15
Just perfect.
So yeah, like I said. This isn't going to even do justice for your fic. But great work.
Reply
This fic comes in three different flavors (aka, three different drafts), one he ends up with Lexie, one he ends up with Cristina (i'm not joking), and one he ends up with no one (which, honestly, is what this is). I scrapped the first two simply because I couldn't get either of them to work without feeling even more forced than it already did (you ever get to the end of something and just cant' finish? Because that was me all morning.). So, it was set up, at one point, to go the way of Alex/Cristina...it just didn't.
how Mark didn't understand LexieI think I got a little preachy there, in that one section, but I was half asleep -- hadn't really been to bed yet -- and got an idea and, there I sat, four in the morning, jotting it down in my little notebook. That's the unedited version of it, believe it or not. Which you probably do, because it's probably preachy, haha ( ... )
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(The comment has been removed)
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And I'm lost for words.
And... SHIT. YOU CAN'T READ MINE NOW BECAUSE COMPARED TO THIS IT'S LIKE... RUBBISH!!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you've captured Alex's resignation in this. It's the one thing I felt the whole way through. Like stuff was just happening to him and around him and he had no control over any of it anyway so why pretend to fight it. I loved the bit with Wyatt about control, because, the way I saw it, Alex had NO control and by not caring he kinda managed to regain some? Even if it was only an illusion (specific example: the whole situation with Lexie).
She pulls her hand back reluctantly, lingering a few moments longer than necessary, and then she settles into the space allotted to her, close but not too close, a thin line of mattress separating them - the physical manifestation of all the places where he won’t let her in and she won’t try hard enough to break on through.
And that will always be the problem. THIS IS PERFECTION! It's like, my WHOLE VIEW of their relationship tied up into a couple of neat, ( ... )
Reply
Seriously, out of everyone, your review means the most to me because you kept pushing me when I really needed it. Also, shut up, yours is not rubbish and I will have a review in your inbox by the time the day is over.
What I really love about this review, by the way, is that you're picking out all the parts that were either added last minute after a million rewrites (Wyatt's comment about control) or were my absolute favorite lines (the space between situation is actually leftovers from a much longer, much more dull scene that I ditched in order to keep it shorter and more to the point; I couldn't let those few lines go though).
I'm answering the next comment too, because I have thoughts and I talk too much, but thank you so much for being so wonderful. You are too kind to me.
Reply
Where was I?
Oh, right. Cristina. (I wasn't there, but I am now...).
I must admit that I did initially think you were gonna 'go there' with A/C towards the end... and I was kinda rooting for it. But then I put aside my Owen hatred and my need to get back at him and I really thought about it... and I AM SO GLAD YOU DIDN'T. It made what happened so much more meaningful that they really all just did it as friends. No ulterior motive.
Back to Alex/Lexie:
“He was always the better guy,” he whispers, at the wedding, her skin cold underneath his fingertips, that little shiver she gives running straight into his body.
Alex kisses her cheek.
(She forgets to believe him.)
THE LAST LINE KILLLLLLED MEEEE!
and this:
(She opens her mouth to him, lets a hand curl around to the nape of his neck and the press of his body against hers be the only thing holding that towel in place, because, momentarily, she forgets not to.
They’re both the same in that way; always forgetting to push the other away.)And this is also so, so ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Okay. Right. Where was I? Replying to your reply!
I hadnt read your explanation to nursebadass, so I wasn't aware of the three versions and the existence of a A/C alternative. I stand by my initial point of being so pleased you didn't go there. I think you're right, it would have diluted what happened, and changed a dynamic between them that would have sent them spiralling in a completely different direction. A/C would be hot together, but they'd be even more dysfunctional than even Alex/Rebecca was! It could never be a healthy relationship and I don't think a hook up ( ... )
Reply
I agree, A/C could never be a healthy relationship. There is too much wrong with them individually. Plus, like you said then it would've been the 'how Alex/Cristina get together story' which was so not what I was after. There's a reason this is Alex centric according to the subject line.
I feel like, on the show at the moment, they're starting to lose it.They've always been really bad with being consistent on a friendship aspect. Meredith/Cristina is really the only thing that they really remember to follow through with, so I'm used to Alex breaking off a little bit. A lot of my fixation with Alex+Meredith and, to a lesser degree, Alex+Cristina, is due to my own invention. But I know what you're saying -- they really are sacrificing a lot by trying to make the new fab five work (which I will never buy but whatever, I don't like change or ( ... )
Reply
I loved the organic development of Alex and Lexie. I really liked your explanation for Mark and Lexie not being able to stay together. He doesn't understand, and I liked how you made that a natural consequence of their being at different stages. I LOVED your Alex, I loved being in his head as he evolved. And, while I could pick out probably a hundred brilliant lines (at least), I'm going with this as gorgeous, in-character, cautious bit of optimism that made me let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding while I was reading:
For the longest moment he doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to get in that metal box, isn’t sure he wants to do it with that particular woman either. But she’s looking at him like everything’s fine and ( ... )
Reply
Um. THANK YOU. Seriously, this feedback killed me. I think this fic broke my brain a little because it was so long (for me), so hearing such wonderful things from people who's writing is so beyond kickass is such a joy and a relief.
He doesn't understand, and I liked how you made that a natural consequence of their being at different stages.This was exactly what I was trying to convey. I think a few people round these parts assume that my distaste for Mark/Lexie comes from the part of me that ships the hell out of Alex/Lexie. And that's just not it. It's that it doesn't, at this point in their lives, really work. Granted that's just my opinion but the point is that it doesn't come from some place irrationally hateful like I feel like people believe it does. Sometimes people just can't it together and I really believe that Mark and Lexie are those people right now ( ... )
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