Oh, right. Cristina. (I wasn't there, but I am now...).
I must admit that I did initially think you were gonna 'go there' with A/C towards the end... and I was kinda rooting for it. But then I put aside my Owen hatred and my need to get back at him and I really thought about it... and I AM SO GLAD YOU DIDN'T. It made what happened so much more meaningful that they really all just did it as friends. No ulterior motive.
Back to Alex/Lexie: “He was always the better guy,” he whispers, at the wedding, her skin cold underneath his fingertips, that little shiver she gives running straight into his body.
Alex kisses her cheek.
(She forgets to believe him.)
THE LAST LINE KILLLLLLED MEEEE!
and this: (She opens her mouth to him, lets a hand curl around to the nape of his neck and the press of his body against hers be the only thing holding that towel in place, because, momentarily, she forgets not to.
They’re both the same in that way; always forgetting to push the other away.) And this is also so, so perfect in all the most painful ways.
And, to finish... as if I wasn't gonna latch onto this... Centralia is practically the next town over from Chehalis and he’s spent his time here looking over his shoulder in anticipation of something other than a brandished gun. And I don't even care if you don't mean he spent his time waiting for Izzie to suddenly appear because, even if you didn't, that's still what happened in my head!
And now that I've quoted 3/4 of your fic back at you I'll leave you alone! Haha!
Actually, one last thing. I stand by my original interpretation of mine as sad and yours as dark. I think they're still appropriate. But I'll qualify it a little more now...
Mine is sad. And depressing. With a kind of hopeful ending (if you squint). And that's about it.
Yours is dark. And raw. And powerful. And has DIALOGUE! And is stunning. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna ask it to marry me... so there!
I know I said this to nursebadass, but I'm saying it again: there were three versions of this originally, and the second was definitely Alex/Cristina. And it just didn't work. I felt like I was compromising the story I was trying to tell because, really, Cristina was just the thing that pushes him over the edge and sends his ass to therapy. Because she's a mess and Meredith's gone and that leaves him to deal with it, and he doesn't really know what to do with her any more than he did with Lexie earlier on, except he can't just tell her to get out and end things in the hopes that someone else will deal with it. That's not an option. So, in a way, it forced him to address his own problems to some degree.
I'm really big on the friendship aspect of this show. Of course, I turn that into non-canon shipping with Alex/Meredith and Alex/Cristina, but at the same time I really value the dynamic that the three of them bring to the table -- they're what's left of our interns and they've been through so much together. And I knew that this wasn't going to be an Alex/Meredith story, and then Jackson forced his way into things (I'm not kidding -- I in no way planned on, or even thought about him showing up at all, but he had a throwaway line in the beginning and then just made his presence known halfway in) and I figured out that I didn't want to have this be the 'Alex and Lexie get back together at the end and everything ends happily ever after' story, I decided that maybe friendship and...community, for lack of a better word, was going to be the overall theme, outside of the resignation you mentioned earlier, which was more of a character theme. When it comes down to it, most of this fic is interaction between friends. Derek isn't in it, Owen isn't in it, Mark is barely in it, and Alex/Lexie heads south pretty quickly. So the bulk of the story ends up as either Alex centric character study crap (I call it crap because I already know you did it better, haha), or the way these characters interact on a platonic basis. Alex and Lexie didn't hop into that elevator and proceed to jump each others bones. They went their separate ways and she moved into the attic again. Do they ever hook up again? Who knows. At the end of the day, that wasn't all that important to me.
Jeez, I'm sorry I'm writing so much. Feel free to ignore me. I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of cut scenes, speaking of which:
Centralia/Chehalis. That was totally deliberate. In fact, that scene probably shouldn't be in there because I removed the other ones in the same vein (can you tell that this story couldn't make up its mind?). I wanted to bring Izzie back. I did. But I've got another fic on my hard drive that's trying to tell the exact same story that I would've touched on if I had, so I decided to let it go. So, yeah, he is aware of where he is in relation to the last place he knew she was. That's the entire reason that scene exists.
I agree with your comparison's of the two stories (I'm halfway through yours) to a point, until you say and that's about it. Cause no. It sounds way dismissive. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, I cover my weakness (imagery and the like) with dialogue. If you have a weakness, you hide it nicely.
I'm going to stop talking now, I promise.
So, once again, thank you so much! I'm so beyond thrilled that you enjoyed this -- believe me, waking up to this review brightened my entire day.
I'll start this by quickly saying that I didn't mean to sound dismissive of mine I always think people who say "my story is crap" are only looking for other people to turn around and say "oh no, it was fabulous" and that's not what I was intending! I guess I've been dulled to it a bit by the fact that well, one... I wrote it! And two... after the 379th read through, things tend to lose their impact! Haha! So, I guess I'm not a very good/subjective judge on it at the moment...!
Okay. Right. Where was I? Replying to your reply!
I hadnt read your explanation to nursebadass, so I wasn't aware of the three versions and the existence of a A/C alternative. I stand by my initial point of being so pleased you didn't go there. I think you're right, it would have diluted what happened, and changed a dynamic between them that would have sent them spiralling in a completely different direction. A/C would be hot together, but they'd be even more dysfunctional than even Alex/Rebecca was! It could never be a healthy relationship and I don't think a hook up like that would have added anything to what you've created here... and, in fact, I'd say it probably would have detracted because the emphasis (for the reader) would have been on them getting together, and NOT them (well, mostly Alex) being there for each other in the detached kinda way that A/C are/were.
The friendship theme that is woven through this is a real highlight for me (besides the obvious Alex introspection of course!), because, in Izzie's absense, I really do want that for them... and I feel like, on the show at the moment, they're starting to lose it. Mer/Cristina are heading into fucking creepy territory, Alex appears to be being left by the wayside completely for the most part... the three of them are fracturing as a group (maybe as a plot device to make the transition to M/A/C/J/A smoother?) but I feel like they're sacrificing so much in the process. AND YOU PUT IT ALL BACK TOGETHER RIGHT HERE!!!
(wow, that was wordy and incoherent.)
But I've got another fic on my hard drive that's trying to tell the exact same story that I would've touched on if I had, so I decided to let it go. NOT GONNA LIE, THIS MADE MY DAY!
And there is ABSOLUTELY no need to stop talking! Haha! I always have plenty of things to say!
Also, random Jackson insertion (which sounds dirty but is not intended as such!)... don't you love it when characters do that! Kinda pop up and say, "um, excuse me! I'm right here and I'd be perfect in this scene" despite the fact that you had no intention of using them in the first place!
(I feel JC could use some of this ability with the GA writers!).
Anyway, in case you can't tell. I LOVE THIS!!! And I'm glad you enjoyed my thoughts.
SHOW TONIGHT!!! Heee! *crossed fingers and toes for something meaningful*
Also, have you heard the Justin Beiber spoiler? WTFUCKERY??? It better not be as lame as it sounds...
Oh no, I didn't think you meant it like that. I just mean...don't sell yourself short ;) But you're right, you read through things enough and you start to almost hate it. Or at least I do.
I agree, A/C could never be a healthy relationship. There is too much wrong with them individually. Plus, like you said then it would've been the 'how Alex/Cristina get together story' which was so not what I was after. There's a reason this is Alex centric according to the subject line.
I feel like, on the show at the moment, they're starting to lose it.
They've always been really bad with being consistent on a friendship aspect. Meredith/Cristina is really the only thing that they really remember to follow through with, so I'm used to Alex breaking off a little bit. A lot of my fixation with Alex+Meredith and, to a lesser degree, Alex+Cristina, is due to my own invention. But I know what you're saying -- they really are sacrificing a lot by trying to make the new fab five work (which I will never buy but whatever, I don't like change or replacements).
NOT GONNA LIE, THIS MADE MY DAY!
Canon's totally fucked it but, unlike what I let it do to my epic A/I fic last Christmas hiatus (no one's seen it, don't think you're missing anything), I don't care.
don't you love it when characters do that
Usually? No. Because then I get distracted and my story goes haywire. Here? I didn't mind. He's more of a background character here, so he couldn't really do much to throw things off.
I feel JC could use some of this ability with the GA writers
Amen, dude. Seriously.
Also, have you heard the Justin Beiber spoiler?
Explain. Please. Or if it's too horrible, just send a hitman.
Explain. Please. Or if it's too horrible, just send a hitman.
It's something along the lines of...
Alex channels his inner Justin Bieber for a paediatric patient who develops a crush on him.
THIS. Just. I don't KNOWWWW! Haha. What the hell? I mean, I don't know much about JB, except that he sings songs that 12 year olds have heart attacks over and is Canadian? Yes? Do you think JC is gonna sing???? Hmmm. I think I'll reserve judgement...
I'm kinda mortified by the idea that Alex even HAS an inner Justin Bieber TO channel!!! Just, NO! At least, not the Alex that I know and love!
Where was I?
Oh, right. Cristina. (I wasn't there, but I am now...).
I must admit that I did initially think you were gonna 'go there' with A/C towards the end... and I was kinda rooting for it. But then I put aside my Owen hatred and my need to get back at him and I really thought about it... and I AM SO GLAD YOU DIDN'T. It made what happened so much more meaningful that they really all just did it as friends. No ulterior motive.
Back to Alex/Lexie:
“He was always the better guy,” he whispers, at the wedding, her skin cold underneath his fingertips, that little shiver she gives running straight into his body.
Alex kisses her cheek.
(She forgets to believe him.)
THE LAST LINE KILLLLLLED MEEEE!
and this:
(She opens her mouth to him, lets a hand curl around to the nape of his neck and the press of his body against hers be the only thing holding that towel in place, because, momentarily, she forgets not to.
They’re both the same in that way; always forgetting to push the other away.)
And this is also so, so perfect in all the most painful ways.
And, to finish... as if I wasn't gonna latch onto this...
Centralia is practically the next town over from Chehalis and he’s spent his time here looking over his shoulder in anticipation of something other than a brandished gun. And I don't even care if you don't mean he spent his time waiting for Izzie to suddenly appear because, even if you didn't, that's still what happened in my head!
And now that I've quoted 3/4 of your fic back at you I'll leave you alone! Haha!
Actually, one last thing. I stand by my original interpretation of mine as sad and yours as dark. I think they're still appropriate. But I'll qualify it a little more now...
Mine is sad. And depressing. With a kind of hopeful ending (if you squint). And that's about it.
Yours is dark. And raw. And powerful. And has DIALOGUE! And is stunning. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna ask it to marry me... so there!
Reply
I'm really big on the friendship aspect of this show. Of course, I turn that into non-canon shipping with Alex/Meredith and Alex/Cristina, but at the same time I really value the dynamic that the three of them bring to the table -- they're what's left of our interns and they've been through so much together. And I knew that this wasn't going to be an Alex/Meredith story, and then Jackson forced his way into things (I'm not kidding -- I in no way planned on, or even thought about him showing up at all, but he had a throwaway line in the beginning and then just made his presence known halfway in) and I figured out that I didn't want to have this be the 'Alex and Lexie get back together at the end and everything ends happily ever after' story, I decided that maybe friendship and...community, for lack of a better word, was going to be the overall theme, outside of the resignation you mentioned earlier, which was more of a character theme. When it comes down to it, most of this fic is interaction between friends. Derek isn't in it, Owen isn't in it, Mark is barely in it, and Alex/Lexie heads south pretty quickly. So the bulk of the story ends up as either Alex centric character study crap (I call it crap because I already know you did it better, haha), or the way these characters interact on a platonic basis. Alex and Lexie didn't hop into that elevator and proceed to jump each others bones. They went their separate ways and she moved into the attic again. Do they ever hook up again? Who knows. At the end of the day, that wasn't all that important to me.
Jeez, I'm sorry I'm writing so much. Feel free to ignore me. I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of cut scenes, speaking of which:
Centralia/Chehalis. That was totally deliberate. In fact, that scene probably shouldn't be in there because I removed the other ones in the same vein (can you tell that this story couldn't make up its mind?). I wanted to bring Izzie back. I did. But I've got another fic on my hard drive that's trying to tell the exact same story that I would've touched on if I had, so I decided to let it go. So, yeah, he is aware of where he is in relation to the last place he knew she was. That's the entire reason that scene exists.
I agree with your comparison's of the two stories (I'm halfway through yours) to a point, until you say and that's about it. Cause no. It sounds way dismissive. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, I cover my weakness (imagery and the like) with dialogue. If you have a weakness, you hide it nicely.
I'm going to stop talking now, I promise.
So, once again, thank you so much! I'm so beyond thrilled that you enjoyed this -- believe me, waking up to this review brightened my entire day.
Reply
Okay. Right. Where was I? Replying to your reply!
I hadnt read your explanation to nursebadass, so I wasn't aware of the three versions and the existence of a A/C alternative. I stand by my initial point of being so pleased you didn't go there. I think you're right, it would have diluted what happened, and changed a dynamic between them that would have sent them spiralling in a completely different direction. A/C would be hot together, but they'd be even more dysfunctional than even Alex/Rebecca was! It could never be a healthy relationship and I don't think a hook up like that would have added anything to what you've created here... and, in fact, I'd say it probably would have detracted because the emphasis (for the reader) would have been on them getting together, and NOT them (well, mostly Alex) being there for each other in the detached kinda way that A/C are/were.
The friendship theme that is woven through this is a real highlight for me (besides the obvious Alex introspection of course!), because, in Izzie's absense, I really do want that for them... and I feel like, on the show at the moment, they're starting to lose it. Mer/Cristina are heading into fucking creepy territory, Alex appears to be being left by the wayside completely for the most part... the three of them are fracturing as a group (maybe as a plot device to make the transition to M/A/C/J/A smoother?) but I feel like they're sacrificing so much in the process. AND YOU PUT IT ALL BACK TOGETHER RIGHT HERE!!!
(wow, that was wordy and incoherent.)
But I've got another fic on my hard drive that's trying to tell the exact same story that I would've touched on if I had, so I decided to let it go. NOT GONNA LIE, THIS MADE MY DAY!
And there is ABSOLUTELY no need to stop talking! Haha! I always have plenty of things to say!
Also, random Jackson insertion (which sounds dirty but is not intended as such!)... don't you love it when characters do that! Kinda pop up and say, "um, excuse me! I'm right here and I'd be perfect in this scene" despite the fact that you had no intention of using them in the first place!
(I feel JC could use some of this ability with the GA writers!).
Anyway, in case you can't tell. I LOVE THIS!!! And I'm glad you enjoyed my thoughts.
SHOW TONIGHT!!! Heee! *crossed fingers and toes for something meaningful*
Also, have you heard the Justin Beiber spoiler? WTFUCKERY??? It better not be as lame as it sounds...
Reply
I agree, A/C could never be a healthy relationship. There is too much wrong with them individually. Plus, like you said then it would've been the 'how Alex/Cristina get together story' which was so not what I was after. There's a reason this is Alex centric according to the subject line.
I feel like, on the show at the moment, they're starting to lose it.
They've always been really bad with being consistent on a friendship aspect. Meredith/Cristina is really the only thing that they really remember to follow through with, so I'm used to Alex breaking off a little bit. A lot of my fixation with Alex+Meredith and, to a lesser degree, Alex+Cristina, is due to my own invention. But I know what you're saying -- they really are sacrificing a lot by trying to make the new fab five work (which I will never buy but whatever, I don't like change or replacements).
NOT GONNA LIE, THIS MADE MY DAY!
Canon's totally fucked it but, unlike what I let it do to my epic A/I fic last Christmas hiatus (no one's seen it, don't think you're missing anything), I don't care.
don't you love it when characters do that
Usually? No. Because then I get distracted and my story goes haywire. Here? I didn't mind. He's more of a background character here, so he couldn't really do much to throw things off.
I feel JC could use some of this ability with the GA writers
Amen, dude. Seriously.
Also, have you heard the Justin Beiber spoiler?
Explain. Please. Or if it's too horrible, just send a hitman.
Reply
It's something along the lines of...
Alex channels his inner Justin Bieber for a paediatric patient who develops a crush on him.
THIS. Just. I don't KNOWWWW! Haha. What the hell? I mean, I don't know much about JB, except that he sings songs that 12 year olds have heart attacks over and is Canadian? Yes? Do you think JC is gonna sing???? Hmmm. I think I'll reserve judgement...
I'm kinda mortified by the idea that Alex even HAS an inner Justin Bieber TO channel!!! Just, NO! At least, not the Alex that I know and love!
Reply
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