Welcome To Tinsel Town, 3.01
So, since the purple gen had all offed themselves in moments of extreme stupidity, it was time to redo the house - for the black gen and to vamp it up. NO WINDOWS. Indoor garages! But do you think that stops them from smoking? Noooo.
K FINALLY hits failure mode. FINALLY.
Some things you've just got to practice before the big show, y'know?
And in case it wasn't obvious, J is heir :) Not just because I love her more, but because she did meet the criteria for heir as per the rules. K was closer to Celie and Vasyl from the beginning, but I think Vasyl was playing favourites.
Believe it or not, there are actually guests. They just all chose to stay inside.
And the ONE person to watch?
Walked THROUGH the happy couple. As in BETWEEN them. DURING the ceremony. Wow, way to try to upstage your sister, K.
K ignored them after that, and went swimming.
But...she changed back into her formal dress while swimming.
SHE CAN WALK ON WATER. HOLY FUCK SHE'S JESUS .
I suppose it is safer to keep a good distance from three vampires.
PICKLES! NO!
Luckily for Pickles, this cowplant is REALLY fussy. It wouldn't eat Vasyl, either.
Smustle time!
Obligatory woohoo during reception time!
MUSTARD! NO!!!
I'm glad this plant doesn't like condiments.
Orly?
Ohno!
Ketchup! Only one person is meant to be getting into the groom's pants, and it ain't you!
Despite being married to the most beautiful man alive - so to speak - she's just not that happy.
Edward and his daughter (from when lauriethemuppet had gen 1 of the Happypants family) have an intimate family moment.
Bleh fight!
K is NOT happy that J is getting all the attention. Even when she's dressed like a tribal slut, K misses out.
So it's time to beat each other up again!
Please note how Edward is running...is he going to watch? To support his new wife? To watch, concerned?
Nope. The coward ran outside. WAY TO BE A MAN.
Pickles just has some Edward/K fantasy going on there. That, or he wants to see Edward in drag again.
Yet another fight to K!
But J still wins, because it was a kick ass party - pun intended ;)
The lights seem to be working, Edward, so there's no need to signal by hand!
Edward: There's no way you can be pregnant. Vampires can't have babies!
J: Dude, it's MOVING ALREADY. I'm knocked up. Deal. Don't make me call Rosalie, bitch.
Edward: o_O
J: Oh yeah, I went there.
Edward: Fine, but if I see a werewolf loitering around, it's ass is grass.
J told K to move on out, and damn, that stand off looks painful.
*headdesk*
She just can't stay away. And she keeps coming back in the daytime.
Portrait time!
Turns out he's a Celebrity Chef. That may be why Lark could never get up there - he had the job!
*headdesk*
It's a bit hard to tell - but we have a pop!
I figured that since he'd already reached the top of the culinary career, I could get him into his LTW, which is Hand of Poseidon. Cooking animals is the opposite of saving them, right?
He's not so sure.
That's it, J, harvest those peen plants.
Can you spot what's wrong with this picture? :D
MY FIRST LAMP OMG I GOT SO EXCITED!!! Well, my first LEGITIMATE lamp. I had one turn up on one of my sets for Erinsborough Bay, and Jen got one in Dear Diary, but they aren't regular houses so they don't count.
But before we can deal with that...
Meet Alex! The first boy born to this family. This gen's naming theme is from A Clockwork Orange. Which I haven't seen, but that's okay.
I love that he got Edward's eyes :)
The cuteness! It overwhelms!
Edward: I promise not to slip my marble manhood into anyone else, if you don't, okay?
J: You think I'm going to slip your marble manhood into someone else without you knowing about it? It's detachable?
Edward: No! Your marble man...you know what? Forget it. Just don't cheat.
J: Man, a detachable penis, how cool is that?
Edward: They're called dildos, love.
Oh, Edward.
Oh, J. That's so gross.
Why hello Count Val, swimming along by the second floor there.
Edward: Hmm, it's a bit dusty. If I rub it a bit I can see my face the better...
Genie: OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck!
Edward: Uh, I'm over here.
Genie: Hello, Edward. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Ed?' Or maybe just 'Ward?' Or how bout 'Dwar?'
Edward: ...
Genie: Just make a wish.
Edward: Hmm. Money, I have. Beauty, I have, obviously. I've got the love. I'm not meant to be happy...but I could always be more beautiful. I don't know if that's possible, but it's certainly worth trying...
Genie: This guy's a chump.
WE TAKE A BREAK DURING EDWARD'S DELIBERATIONS TO REALISE THAT THE COWPLANT FINALLY ATE SOMEONE. BUT THEY WERE A TOWNIE SO IT'S OKAY!
Seems you can bring back the dead, so we did.
I was hoping for a zombie, because that would've been a huge aspiration dump for everyone, but no.
J: Mmm. Townie juice.
And because of this, J is now older than her mother by 9 days.
o_O
DO NOT BE THINKING OF YOUR MOTHER IN LAW AS YOU HIT ON YOUR WIFE.
DON'T MAKE ME SMITE YOU.
Cowplant: Eat me. Go on, eat me. Eat me. EAT ME.
*headdesk*
BAT RACES!!!
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