Glimpse of Truth (20/?) Wavering
Title: Glimpse of Truth (20/?) Wavering
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: Teen
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: Rationally, Rose knows he's the same man, but can she accept it?
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Thanks: to momdaegmorgan for the beta.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 (all ages version). Chapter 4 (adult version), Chapter 5,
Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13,
Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19
Rose forced the breath out of her aching lungs and pressed her hand to her forehead. "No. I don't-- enough about Elechon, Doctor. What--"
"Well, then, we should probably get that lunch, after all. Don't wanna--"
"Doctor!"
She hadn't yelled at him like that in a long time. Years maybe. Definitely years. The other Doctor had always rolled his eyes when she did it, but this one fell silent and snapped his mouth shut.
"Oh, had a bad vision of Jackie just then." He did all but shudder at her and curl his lip up to show his displeasure.
She was impressed with his control.
Rubbing her face with her hands, she groaned loudly, her frustration reaching new heights. Somehow, somewhere, she'd lost control of her life. Somewhere along the way the Doctor had become her compass, but at this moment, he'd taken her out to sea and left her, rudderless, on chaotic waters.
"You can't--" She closed her eyes and dropped her hands with a sigh. "You can't just say something like that and then gab about like nothing happened."
"Actually, I can." He dropped his head and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking like a chastised, fidgeting little boy. "Got a bit of a gob on me in case you hadn't noticed."
She scoffed lightly, feeling some of her frustration dissipate. "I noticed." This Doctor was so much like her beloved Doctor that her heart ached and her arms felt empty. This man was him; he kept on insisting it anyway. But was it true? Were they interchangeable? One and the same? "Remember that trip to America with the ambassador from Tischna? He insisted on silence the entire way." She snickered, remembering the near-pain on his face after just a few minutes. "You about went mental."
"Telshana," he sighed, eyes rising to hers, lips pressed tight. "It was the Telshan delegation of the Telshana people, and we went to their ship. In orbit around the moon."
He knew, but that didn't make him her Doctor. It didn't make up for him not being there, but she wanted it to.
It was starting to.
It made her feel better, as if she'd got a piece of her Doctor back.
His head tilted to the side, eyes on her. "You can't be that oblivious," he told her. "You have to know that I want you here. You and the baby-- our baby."
My baby, she wanted to snap at him, feeling a twinge of bitterness. Old feelings and habits died hard.
"I love you, Rose." He shrugged his shoulders and arms as if it didn't matter anymore. "It's as simple as that if you want to boil it down to its simplest form. I want you to travel with me, here in the TARDIS." He sighed again and she wondered why he seemed so resigned. So much like he was giving up.
"I--"
Gaze hard on her, he crossed the room toward her. "Just say yes."
Shaking her head, knowing it wasn't that simple, she fought the tears burning her eyes. It'd be so easy to give in. To love the man before her. Because she did.
"I know you do," he told her, but there was no smile this time. "And you know that I love you. I did before his memories. I do now that I have them." Reaching out, he took her hand and moved closer. "Stay with me. Not because I'm making you. Not because you have to." He settled his hand on her stomach, smiling a little, eyes dropping to the soft curve of her belly. "Stay because you want to."
His face wavered before her eyes as her tears slipped free. She wanted to. Realizing that she wouldn't choose to go back to Earth now if she could, and that she wanted to stay with him, not go to some random planet and live there, she rested her hand over his. "Doctor..." Feelings of happiness and contentment flowed through her at the touch.
From him? Or from the baby?
His other hand settled on her cheek, reminding her of a day spent in a church with her father and the first Doctor she'd known. She'd loved that Doctor too.
Those feelings had made it easier to love this Doctor, and the human one after that. The feelings that were now all tangled up in a big ball of Doctors and time and confusion and babies and death. Tangled up in being left behind and--
"I'll stay," he whispered, resting his forehead on hers, breath ghosting over her cheeks. He threaded his hands into her hair and she sighed. "I won't leave you, Rose. Not anymore. I can't."
She shuddered at the promise in his eyes.
"Running from you, from my feelings, from what I am, it doesn't work. I've tried it. It's lonely and I'm tired of being lonely, Rose. Stay with me."
Wavering as much as her vision was, she drew in a deep, shuddering breath, fighting to keep her emotions under control. To look at it rationally, but she couldn't. Not with him this close and this earnest. This honest. Touching her with warm fingers that she knew as well as her own.
Hands that'd caressed her and teased her and made her feel pleasure.
He shuddered and she knew he was remembering the same night she was, when he made love to her in their living room, using his hands to bring her to orgasm three times before seeking his own pleasure. "Not just in the TARDIS, Rose. I want you in my room." He pressed his lips to hers, sliding his hand behind her neck, cradling it gently. "In my bed. In my life."
Chapter 21
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: Teen
Genre: AU, drama, angst
Summary: Rationally, Rose knows he's the same man, but can she accept it?
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Thanks: to momdaegmorgan for the beta.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 (all ages version). Chapter 4 (adult version), Chapter 5,
Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13,
Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19
Rose forced the breath out of her aching lungs and pressed her hand to her forehead. "No. I don't-- enough about Elechon, Doctor. What--"
"Well, then, we should probably get that lunch, after all. Don't wanna--"
"Doctor!"
She hadn't yelled at him like that in a long time. Years maybe. Definitely years. The other Doctor had always rolled his eyes when she did it, but this one fell silent and snapped his mouth shut.
"Oh, had a bad vision of Jackie just then." He did all but shudder at her and curl his lip up to show his displeasure.
She was impressed with his control.
Rubbing her face with her hands, she groaned loudly, her frustration reaching new heights. Somehow, somewhere, she'd lost control of her life. Somewhere along the way the Doctor had become her compass, but at this moment, he'd taken her out to sea and left her, rudderless, on chaotic waters.
"You can't--" She closed her eyes and dropped her hands with a sigh. "You can't just say something like that and then gab about like nothing happened."
"Actually, I can." He dropped his head and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking like a chastised, fidgeting little boy. "Got a bit of a gob on me in case you hadn't noticed."
She scoffed lightly, feeling some of her frustration dissipate. "I noticed." This Doctor was so much like her beloved Doctor that her heart ached and her arms felt empty. This man was him; he kept on insisting it anyway. But was it true? Were they interchangeable? One and the same? "Remember that trip to America with the ambassador from Tischna? He insisted on silence the entire way." She snickered, remembering the near-pain on his face after just a few minutes. "You about went mental."
"Telshana," he sighed, eyes rising to hers, lips pressed tight. "It was the Telshan delegation of the Telshana people, and we went to their ship. In orbit around the moon."
He knew, but that didn't make him her Doctor. It didn't make up for him not being there, but she wanted it to.
It was starting to.
It made her feel better, as if she'd got a piece of her Doctor back.
His head tilted to the side, eyes on her. "You can't be that oblivious," he told her. "You have to know that I want you here. You and the baby-- our baby."
My baby, she wanted to snap at him, feeling a twinge of bitterness. Old feelings and habits died hard.
"I love you, Rose." He shrugged his shoulders and arms as if it didn't matter anymore. "It's as simple as that if you want to boil it down to its simplest form. I want you to travel with me, here in the TARDIS." He sighed again and she wondered why he seemed so resigned. So much like he was giving up.
"I--"
Gaze hard on her, he crossed the room toward her. "Just say yes."
Shaking her head, knowing it wasn't that simple, she fought the tears burning her eyes. It'd be so easy to give in. To love the man before her. Because she did.
"I know you do," he told her, but there was no smile this time. "And you know that I love you. I did before his memories. I do now that I have them." Reaching out, he took her hand and moved closer. "Stay with me. Not because I'm making you. Not because you have to." He settled his hand on her stomach, smiling a little, eyes dropping to the soft curve of her belly. "Stay because you want to."
His face wavered before her eyes as her tears slipped free. She wanted to. Realizing that she wouldn't choose to go back to Earth now if she could, and that she wanted to stay with him, not go to some random planet and live there, she rested her hand over his. "Doctor..." Feelings of happiness and contentment flowed through her at the touch.
From him? Or from the baby?
His other hand settled on her cheek, reminding her of a day spent in a church with her father and the first Doctor she'd known. She'd loved that Doctor too.
Those feelings had made it easier to love this Doctor, and the human one after that. The feelings that were now all tangled up in a big ball of Doctors and time and confusion and babies and death. Tangled up in being left behind and--
"I'll stay," he whispered, resting his forehead on hers, breath ghosting over her cheeks. He threaded his hands into her hair and she sighed. "I won't leave you, Rose. Not anymore. I can't."
She shuddered at the promise in his eyes.
"Running from you, from my feelings, from what I am, it doesn't work. I've tried it. It's lonely and I'm tired of being lonely, Rose. Stay with me."
Wavering as much as her vision was, she drew in a deep, shuddering breath, fighting to keep her emotions under control. To look at it rationally, but she couldn't. Not with him this close and this earnest. This honest. Touching her with warm fingers that she knew as well as her own.
Hands that'd caressed her and teased her and made her feel pleasure.
He shuddered and she knew he was remembering the same night she was, when he made love to her in their living room, using his hands to bring her to orgasm three times before seeking his own pleasure. "Not just in the TARDIS, Rose. I want you in my room." He pressed his lips to hers, sliding his hand behind her neck, cradling it gently. "In my bed. In my life."
Chapter 21