There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about how things would've been if I'd made different choices in my life. I guess I wouldn't exactly call it regret. I'm not sure what I would call it. There's just a wonder about what kinds of things my life would of encountered had I gone in the opposite direction. I guess it all goes to still ( Read more... )

I think I'd gotten past what its like to be forgotten about. But lately, it is the only thing on my mind. I need my own place again. I used to bare the freezing cold just to sit next to the lake and write down everything I felt flowing through me at that exact moment. It is almost as if I don't have any feeling to put into ink or words. Maybe I don ( Read more... )

Man o man. I sure can sit back and think of the pages and pages I could fill with differences in my life between now and even a year and a half ago. As much of the blackness in my life that's been cleared away...there is still some inside of me that I can't decipher the meaning of, that I can't figure out for the better of me. Do you ever feel like ( Read more... )

I've looked through this thing long enough longing for the ability to become my former self in the writer's sense. I'm back. I don't care who reads, I don't thrive on other people's responses...I've realized that that some time from now in the future...I'll read my own writings and long for that ability, just as I do now. I'm back. Bottom line ( Read more... )

Its like noithing has ever even happened here. This is no special place. I almost delt like I would see a reflection in the water of things that were positive, times of writing, times of laughter, times of a completely ful-filled heart. What could I honestly expect? Its fucking lonely feeling anymore. Its like a graveyard for memories....without ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what's gotten into me today and tonight ( Read more... )

Life isn't about worrying. There isn't a point to it anymore. There probably never was one. It took a good 4 day of constant writing, headaches, and aggravation to get to the point of understanding. Either something good will happen, something bad will happen, or it will all stay in the grey. If, by chance bad things happen in life...you can only ( Read more... )

I see you. Yes you. lurking there in jealousy...waiting for some non-existent opportune moment to strike. But you're scared...and you should be, because you're wasting your life away. You are dreaming and fantasizing about something you will never have, because it wasn't meant to be. I will never again give up on the things in my life that I have ( Read more... )

Ah. And yet the world continues to turn. I find it confusing how humans are supposed to figured out things for themselves and make choices where intentions and endings are unknown, yet are also supposed to lay so much trust on the choices that the people they love make as well. How do we do it ( Read more... )

The easel falls as he clenches his chest, then rips through his hair with both hands...before covering his darkend, wet face. He removes his salt-encased hands from his brow, and stares at the dissapointment, the hatred, the hurt, the anger, the pain, the politics, and the beautiful eyes back at him. Buddies.Friends.Laughter.Mistrust.Lies.False ( Read more... )