Find It In Me
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about how things would've been if I'd made different choices in my life. I guess I wouldn't exactly call it regret. I'm not sure what I would call it. There's just a wonder about what kinds of things my life would of encountered had I gone in the opposite direction. I guess it all goes to still being 23, and not exactly knowing what's in store for me. My mom tells me she wants me to pick something and stick with it. Why can't I pick a lot of somethings? I feel like I only live once, and I might as well get as much enjoyment out of this life as I can. Although it seems like there's an unofficial memo that goes out to society that says in order to live you must be miserable.
I should know who I am by now...
Sometimes its hard to fully say you know who you are, when the people you think you can put your trust in change constantly. It makes you second guess yourself. It makes you unsure about what you're getting yourself into.
I miss having people in my life that I feel like I can talk to. It has nothing to do with where you live, or what you're doing tonight, or who you're dating. It has to do with the fact of whether you're the same person inside that I felt so comfortable with in the first place. The majority of my friends aren't there for me anymore...no matter how much they say they are. I understand that people are moving on in life and have their own things to take care of. I've made well-known to myself that I will never become to busy to help someone if they need me. It was only a couple years ago when I could go to the lake with a friend, drink a 40-oz in 20 degree weather and talk about life.
Everyone's forgotten what its like to reach out and be there for their best friend. Everyone's so blinded by the temporary light that is partying your ass off or rapidly finding a new significant other(no matter what random, meaningless person that may turn out to be) that they don't see what's really there.
Sometimes there are sacrifices you must take in your own pride to be there for someone that really matters to you.
I sound like a lecturing machine. It's more of a lecture to myself over anyone else. I think we all can open our eyes enough to see that our lives have taken such a toll on us that we claw and bite for a free chance to see each other. I guess I want more than that. I want to get the piece of life back in me that true friendships give to people. It becomes harder and harder every day with people taking flying leaps off of any kind of plateau of trust I have with them. Why change yourself to fit in with people that don't mean shit to you? You're losing everything I loved about you in the first place.
What are you running away from?
My new year's resolution? Getting all the true friendships (that I still want in my life) back on track to what they used to be. A lot more time spent together, a lot more trust, a lot more of being there for them no matter what, and a lot more of being the person you could confide in from the beginning.
But I will need you all to meet me halfway there. I can't do it all.
Peace and Love
I should know who I am by now...
Sometimes its hard to fully say you know who you are, when the people you think you can put your trust in change constantly. It makes you second guess yourself. It makes you unsure about what you're getting yourself into.
I miss having people in my life that I feel like I can talk to. It has nothing to do with where you live, or what you're doing tonight, or who you're dating. It has to do with the fact of whether you're the same person inside that I felt so comfortable with in the first place. The majority of my friends aren't there for me anymore...no matter how much they say they are. I understand that people are moving on in life and have their own things to take care of. I've made well-known to myself that I will never become to busy to help someone if they need me. It was only a couple years ago when I could go to the lake with a friend, drink a 40-oz in 20 degree weather and talk about life.
Everyone's forgotten what its like to reach out and be there for their best friend. Everyone's so blinded by the temporary light that is partying your ass off or rapidly finding a new significant other(no matter what random, meaningless person that may turn out to be) that they don't see what's really there.
Sometimes there are sacrifices you must take in your own pride to be there for someone that really matters to you.
I sound like a lecturing machine. It's more of a lecture to myself over anyone else. I think we all can open our eyes enough to see that our lives have taken such a toll on us that we claw and bite for a free chance to see each other. I guess I want more than that. I want to get the piece of life back in me that true friendships give to people. It becomes harder and harder every day with people taking flying leaps off of any kind of plateau of trust I have with them. Why change yourself to fit in with people that don't mean shit to you? You're losing everything I loved about you in the first place.
What are you running away from?
My new year's resolution? Getting all the true friendships (that I still want in my life) back on track to what they used to be. A lot more time spent together, a lot more trust, a lot more of being there for them no matter what, and a lot more of being the person you could confide in from the beginning.
But I will need you all to meet me halfway there. I can't do it all.
Peace and Love