So Virgin Radio comes up with this swell new marketing idea in which tey will depict radios, despondent over the crap they are forced to play, on the verge of committing suicide. "Give your radio a reason to live", goes the tag line, displayed with the Virgin logo, presumably implying that if your radio gets to play cool, hip, sassy Virgin Radio, ( Read more... )

Last night I was regaling mrs_clubber with a personal tale of adventure, which I concluded by saying, "It was a mystery". To which the love of my life burst out, "There was no mystery! You're just dumb!"¹

♣     ♣     ♣This morning I was seated at the end of one of the two "give up this seat for elderly or handicapped" rows on the bus. Every other person ( Read more... )

I gave up my seat on the bus today to an older woman in perhaps her late-sixties or early-seventies. Her equally elderly friend sat beside her, and in their sweet, little-old-lady voices, they had this conversation:

LADY #1:Are those new boots?

LADY #2:Yes! They're cozy and warm, and they'll keep my feet warm up to forty below! And look! [unzips ( Read more... )

The non-Canadians among you are probably unaware that our public transit service (the TTC) is on strike. Despite weeks of promises that we would receive 48 hours notice if a strike was to occur, they simply walked off the job en masse Friday at midnight (leaving a shitload of people coming drunk out of clubs at 1am with no way to get home, if they ( Read more... )

The TTC has apparently agreed to study the feasability of selling corporate naming rights to subway stations as a way to offset costs.

Man, I can't wait to give someone directions: "Okay, take the eastbound train to McDonald's, transfer south, and go two stops to Pepsi."

This is yet another reason why I need to be filthy rich. Right now I'm torn ( Read more... )

The bus driver this morning was refusing to collect any fares from boarding passengers. She would put her hand over the farebox and say "It's not working; just have a seat" as each person got on ( Read more... )

A woman was murdered in our apartment building last night; according to reports in yesterday's media, she was decapitated by her husband. I didn't know the family by name, but now I am running through the mental images of everyone I've ever seen push the PH button in the elevator and wondering if it was them. Creepy ( Read more... )

On the bus this morning, there were relatively few seats left. The best-looking prospect for me was occupied by a woman's purse, so I indicated to her that I wished to sit there. Wordlessly, she pointed to a completely unoccupied seat across the way, indicating that I should sit over there, as her purse was using this seat. The seat she was ( Read more... )

This morning I had the pleasure of sitting next to the Incredible Farting Woman on the subway. It sounded like she was sitting on trombone, and apparently she is rather fond of eggs.

I was going to move, but I kept thinking, "Okay, she has got to be out of gas now..."

Bad call all around. Not an auspicious start to the day.

Just thought I'd

Last Thursday while I stood waiting for my subway, a Way Too Drunk Guy on my platform realized he needed to be on the opposite platform, and proceeded to head directly over there: he climbed down onto the tracks, and started walking on over. He fell down three times in about as many steps, laying between the rails (and klonking himself a good one ( Read more... )