Alrighty, I am over it. The whole male thing. Mason is really gone no matter what i tell myself. I wont ever be over him but I'll deal. Nick is gone too. so is Matt. None of which I am being sad over. Sure, I'll miss Nicks good sex and having someone who made me happy at times. But i wont miss crying over him and being hurt. as for Matt, well, i ( Read more... )

I'll try my hardest ever in this entire world to stay as long as you let me. I made that mistake once and I learned enough to realize that I should have never left at all.. - Mason2. Thats the number of times that I really, really fucked up. Once was in August 2003 when I made him doubt my feelings for him and just watched as he walked out of ( Read more... )

Yes, I do not know why I sort of deleted those two entries. hm. Anyway. Nathen and I went to see Nik tonight. He's crappy. We looked at him looking helpless and cried. Meh. I'm so bad at hard things. I was bad with Jordan when he got sick. I am still bad with Jake. Now Nik ( Read more... )

yay/ i am back in business. happy go me.

not really.

nik fell into a coma
i miss cassie

Today is.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NICK

Tomorrow is HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KERK

Friday is my day.

Yeah. My net is shut off until Friday. Alot of crap has happened since last week. On Wednesday Nik and Ryan got in a car accident. They were both knocked out, but Nik woke up to a broken arm, a screwed up face, and a few broken ribs. But Ryan still hasnt snapped out of the coma. But he will. Then on Thanksgiving I spoke to Rolando over the phone. ( Read more... )

I was looking through a photo album of an old journal. and i found this.

( Read more... )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BITHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR LEX
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

it was nice. last night/early this morning. people came over. people beat me up. people made me laugh. person made me happy. i got a hug. and kissed. and felt special. it still makes me feel weird, the way he makes me feel special. we're still like a dirty little ( Read more... )

last night/this morning was so fun ( Read more... )

matt, dusty, and markie were just here. it's weird, i just dont feel right with them anymore. I dont feel right with anything anymore. Nik and Kerk were both here last night, Kerk left earlier and Nik stayed til about 2. The whole time we were just laying on this little bed cuddling and Nik goes "Sometimes I guess you just need someone to hold you ( Read more... )