(no subject)
Yes, I do not know why I sort of deleted those two entries. hm. Anyway. Nathen and I went to see Nik tonight. He's crappy. We looked at him looking helpless and cried. Meh. I'm so bad at hard things. I was bad with Jordan when he got sick. I am still bad with Jake. Now Nik
I ended things with Nick .and really dont want to see him again. not because of anything he's done really, it's just. he loves her, and he doesnt love me. and i love him. and i dont want to hold on any longer. and i miss mason alot, and i really wish he'd come back for atleast 5 minutes so i could beg him to stay.
hm hm hm. i was thinking about getting some pills to take away my emotions, but see I've become to numb after all this shit has happened that I'm kind of just shutting down all together. And that's working better than any pill can do. I'm so glad i was never suicidal or a cutter. My body would be dead and bleeding. Instead I'm the type of person that just stops caring for a long time until something comes along and makes me care. then that all gets messed up and i do it again. i dislike that trend. the end.
Bianca told me we were going to Georgia this summer. I told her I wouldnt be able to talk to Mason even if i saw him, she said that would be stupid. She understands now, it's cool.
BUT I TALKED TO PAUL!!!!!!!!
I ended things with Nick .and really dont want to see him again. not because of anything he's done really, it's just. he loves her, and he doesnt love me. and i love him. and i dont want to hold on any longer. and i miss mason alot, and i really wish he'd come back for atleast 5 minutes so i could beg him to stay.
hm hm hm. i was thinking about getting some pills to take away my emotions, but see I've become to numb after all this shit has happened that I'm kind of just shutting down all together. And that's working better than any pill can do. I'm so glad i was never suicidal or a cutter. My body would be dead and bleeding. Instead I'm the type of person that just stops caring for a long time until something comes along and makes me care. then that all gets messed up and i do it again. i dislike that trend. the end.
Bianca told me we were going to Georgia this summer. I told her I wouldnt be able to talk to Mason even if i saw him, she said that would be stupid. She understands now, it's cool.
BUT I TALKED TO PAUL!!!!!!!!