Fic: Okaasan? (Chapter 13)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12
Click. Click. Click.
Kazuya looked across the horizon to see any other good views for him to submit to his manager. Once he finally did, he focused his camera lens to the said view and took some shots of it.
Truth be told, he finally got back to his work of being a photographer after his ‘job’ of being Yuki’s mother. After all that ended, he went to Osaka and lived there for a few months without anyone knowing. None except for Ueda.
He had trusted the older man than anyone else and he knew it’d be hard for the other to keep it, but he hoped it was for the best. Ueda was left in Tokyo with Ryo and promised to keep the secret. Ueda knew that Kazuya needed some time to rest from all this drama.
Kazuya, however was happy that Jin did try to not find him.
He was happy.
But not entirely.
Jin wasn’t that type of person who quickly follows orders.
No.
He’s not.
He’s a kind of person that would be so stubborn to do it again and again until he gets what he wants. But what does he want? Does he want Kazuya back? If he does, then he should at least make an effort of pleading for him to get back, right?
Kazuya sighed. Jin not doing anything meant a lot of things. But one thing he’s sure: Jin doesn’t want him back just as he thought-or hoped-he should.
He knew he was being so stupid to think about it. And a little selfish. But this is what he wanted. He left the Akanishi family 10 months ago and he should already have moved on, right? Besides, it’s as if his feelings were considered. He was just there to pretend to be Yuki’s mother.
But why does it always feel like he wants to come back?
He needs to come back.
-
Jin closed the door quietly and locked it while biting his lip. Kazuya sat on the bed, hands covering his face, totally unprepared for this unexpected event. The room was quiet and awkward again-just like the road trip on the way back from school, but the only different was, Yuki’s soft sobs could still be heard and both adults could already pity the little kid for crying too much already.
And every word that came out as explanation in the room became important already. Because every words come with great decisions that would change their lives forever.
Yuki was sobbing uncontrollably that both adults were already worrying about his health. He looked up with tearful eyes to Jin and Kazuya and looked liked he wanted to ask a question. But Kazuya beat him in answering it at once.
“Yes Yuki, I’m not your real mother,” Kazuya whispered causing the kid to just stare at him, too shocked to even say or do anything. Jin continued to bite his lip, worrying how Yuki could understand such incident like this. His son was only 5 years old! He shouldn’t be undergoing through this. Kids his age normally wouldn’t understand any of it.
But I guess Yuki was just too mature and smart for his age sometimes.
“…Why?” Yuki asked with his little voice, pain, hurt and fright evident in it.
Why. That was a question that would answer everything. But the real question is, would they be able to answer it…truthfully? They weren’t sure whether Yuki could handle it or not. Jin was sure before until now. Now everything seemed so complicated.
Kazuya sighed. Shaking his head, not knowing where to start. Fortunately, Jin sat next to him and was the one who answered.
“Because I saw that you needed a female company. It was so obvious; even before you dragged Kazuya from the park, thinking he’s your mommy,” Jin smiled sadly as he looked at his son.
“He?” Yuki’s shoulders shook. Kazuya nodded sadly. “Yes, I’m not even a girl.” He replied.
“Where is my Mommy? NO. You’re my mommy!” Yuki refused to believe the truth and hung on to Kazuya like his life depended on it. He sobbed and sobbed and apologized. “I’m sorry for throwing a tantrum earlier! Yuki won’t do it again. You’re my mommy! You are, you are!”
Kazuya didn’t realize that he too was already tearing up. He couldn’t help it. He was already too attached to the kid like he was his real parent. “No Yuki,” His voice broke. He hugged the little boy and carried him in his arms.
“Mommy, mommy, mommy…” Yuki continued to cry. He never cried like this before and it hurts so much for people to see him like this. Kazuya combed his hair using his fingers and tried to make the other relax.
“Mommy died already, Yuki,” Jin said roughly, making Yuki stop and look at him. Stare, rather. “…What?”
“Mommy died.”
“NO. Mommy’s here! Yuki’s hugging Mommy!” Yuki buried his head onto Kazuya’s chest and whimpered.
Kazuya and Jin sighed. This was going to be harder than they thought.
But what did they expect? They were talking to a child! They paused for a few moments, only hearing Yuki’s cries until Kazuya finally made a decision. He waited for Yuki to calm down and fairly enough, he did, at the same time he fell asleep.
Kazuya looked at Jin and gestured him to Yuki, giving an idea that Yuki was already asleep. Both adults stood up with Kazuya carrying Yuki and heading to the child’s room. Once there, he placed the young one on his bed, wrapped him up in his blanket and stared at him sadly as he thought about his decision.
He was already aware what Yuki’s reaction will be after he’s gone, and that’s what he’s worried about. The child might suddenly have a trauma about mothers and never recover again. But he knew this was for the best and lying longer would be much more painful than now.
Jin was standing in the doorway, waiting for Kazuya to walk back to him. Kazuya stood up and looked straight at Jin and told him.
“I’m leaving.”
What?
Jin’s eyes widened at Kazuya’s sudden words. But he knew he would come up with this decision.
“…W-When?” Jin couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t prepared for it. He wasn’t prepared for anything for that matter!
“When you least expect it,” Kazuya whispered and walked pass him the doorway leaving a well-shocked Jin and a sleeping Yuki.
Jin was expecting that Kazuya would still be there the next day since he never noticed the younger one packing or such. But Kazuya was right, he did leave when he least expected it.
And now he was gone.
With only a note that ordered him to do one thing: Don’t try to find me.
He never even had the chance to reveal his feelings.
Now he never can.
-
It took a great deal of Kazuya’s willpower to leave like that. He tried his best to let go of everything. He knew he would get scolded by Ryo or Ueda and say, “You always think of the right things for others, think about yourself once in a while!”
Those were true though. He never thought of himself that much the way he thought about others. No matter how much others worry for him, he would only assure him that he was fine and he was good at convincing them even.
Kazuya sighed as he put away his camera and decided to go home. He had enough worrying for the day. He should worry about other important things, right? Like, submitting his photos to his editor, his grocery shopping, and other stuff to keep him living.
But he never worries about what he needed to keep him living happily.
He got inside his car and drove back to his apartment. He looked at the clock in the car and saw that it was already 9:48 in the evening. He bit his lip as he drove along the dark streets of Osaka trying to focus.
-
He fumbled with his keys as he opened the door to his apartment. He was welcome with darkness but the thought of opening the lights wasn’t considered. He knew his apartment too well so he walked around and his feet led him to his living room.
Moonlight and city lights were keeping the room lit and every furniture glowed with it. He plopped down his couch only to feel something very uncomfortable. Kazuya frowned at what he thought was a body so he got confused and looked at his couch.
His eyes suddenly widened at the thing that was actually lying on his couch.
“Jin!”
-
Author’s Notes:
So did the flashback clear everything up? I though it did. :] Haha. Only 2 more chapters to go and an epilogue!
So how’d you guys like it? Love it? Hate it? Comment about it. :D
♥
Click. Click. Click.
Kazuya looked across the horizon to see any other good views for him to submit to his manager. Once he finally did, he focused his camera lens to the said view and took some shots of it.
Truth be told, he finally got back to his work of being a photographer after his ‘job’ of being Yuki’s mother. After all that ended, he went to Osaka and lived there for a few months without anyone knowing. None except for Ueda.
He had trusted the older man than anyone else and he knew it’d be hard for the other to keep it, but he hoped it was for the best. Ueda was left in Tokyo with Ryo and promised to keep the secret. Ueda knew that Kazuya needed some time to rest from all this drama.
Kazuya, however was happy that Jin did try to not find him.
He was happy.
But not entirely.
Jin wasn’t that type of person who quickly follows orders.
No.
He’s not.
He’s a kind of person that would be so stubborn to do it again and again until he gets what he wants. But what does he want? Does he want Kazuya back? If he does, then he should at least make an effort of pleading for him to get back, right?
Kazuya sighed. Jin not doing anything meant a lot of things. But one thing he’s sure: Jin doesn’t want him back just as he thought-or hoped-he should.
He knew he was being so stupid to think about it. And a little selfish. But this is what he wanted. He left the Akanishi family 10 months ago and he should already have moved on, right? Besides, it’s as if his feelings were considered. He was just there to pretend to be Yuki’s mother.
But why does it always feel like he wants to come back?
He needs to come back.
-
Jin closed the door quietly and locked it while biting his lip. Kazuya sat on the bed, hands covering his face, totally unprepared for this unexpected event. The room was quiet and awkward again-just like the road trip on the way back from school, but the only different was, Yuki’s soft sobs could still be heard and both adults could already pity the little kid for crying too much already.
And every word that came out as explanation in the room became important already. Because every words come with great decisions that would change their lives forever.
Yuki was sobbing uncontrollably that both adults were already worrying about his health. He looked up with tearful eyes to Jin and Kazuya and looked liked he wanted to ask a question. But Kazuya beat him in answering it at once.
“Yes Yuki, I’m not your real mother,” Kazuya whispered causing the kid to just stare at him, too shocked to even say or do anything. Jin continued to bite his lip, worrying how Yuki could understand such incident like this. His son was only 5 years old! He shouldn’t be undergoing through this. Kids his age normally wouldn’t understand any of it.
But I guess Yuki was just too mature and smart for his age sometimes.
“…Why?” Yuki asked with his little voice, pain, hurt and fright evident in it.
Why. That was a question that would answer everything. But the real question is, would they be able to answer it…truthfully? They weren’t sure whether Yuki could handle it or not. Jin was sure before until now. Now everything seemed so complicated.
Kazuya sighed. Shaking his head, not knowing where to start. Fortunately, Jin sat next to him and was the one who answered.
“Because I saw that you needed a female company. It was so obvious; even before you dragged Kazuya from the park, thinking he’s your mommy,” Jin smiled sadly as he looked at his son.
“He?” Yuki’s shoulders shook. Kazuya nodded sadly. “Yes, I’m not even a girl.” He replied.
“Where is my Mommy? NO. You’re my mommy!” Yuki refused to believe the truth and hung on to Kazuya like his life depended on it. He sobbed and sobbed and apologized. “I’m sorry for throwing a tantrum earlier! Yuki won’t do it again. You’re my mommy! You are, you are!”
Kazuya didn’t realize that he too was already tearing up. He couldn’t help it. He was already too attached to the kid like he was his real parent. “No Yuki,” His voice broke. He hugged the little boy and carried him in his arms.
“Mommy, mommy, mommy…” Yuki continued to cry. He never cried like this before and it hurts so much for people to see him like this. Kazuya combed his hair using his fingers and tried to make the other relax.
“Mommy died already, Yuki,” Jin said roughly, making Yuki stop and look at him. Stare, rather. “…What?”
“Mommy died.”
“NO. Mommy’s here! Yuki’s hugging Mommy!” Yuki buried his head onto Kazuya’s chest and whimpered.
Kazuya and Jin sighed. This was going to be harder than they thought.
But what did they expect? They were talking to a child! They paused for a few moments, only hearing Yuki’s cries until Kazuya finally made a decision. He waited for Yuki to calm down and fairly enough, he did, at the same time he fell asleep.
Kazuya looked at Jin and gestured him to Yuki, giving an idea that Yuki was already asleep. Both adults stood up with Kazuya carrying Yuki and heading to the child’s room. Once there, he placed the young one on his bed, wrapped him up in his blanket and stared at him sadly as he thought about his decision.
He was already aware what Yuki’s reaction will be after he’s gone, and that’s what he’s worried about. The child might suddenly have a trauma about mothers and never recover again. But he knew this was for the best and lying longer would be much more painful than now.
Jin was standing in the doorway, waiting for Kazuya to walk back to him. Kazuya stood up and looked straight at Jin and told him.
“I’m leaving.”
What?
Jin’s eyes widened at Kazuya’s sudden words. But he knew he would come up with this decision.
“…W-When?” Jin couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t prepared for it. He wasn’t prepared for anything for that matter!
“When you least expect it,” Kazuya whispered and walked pass him the doorway leaving a well-shocked Jin and a sleeping Yuki.
Jin was expecting that Kazuya would still be there the next day since he never noticed the younger one packing or such. But Kazuya was right, he did leave when he least expected it.
And now he was gone.
With only a note that ordered him to do one thing: Don’t try to find me.
He never even had the chance to reveal his feelings.
Now he never can.
-
It took a great deal of Kazuya’s willpower to leave like that. He tried his best to let go of everything. He knew he would get scolded by Ryo or Ueda and say, “You always think of the right things for others, think about yourself once in a while!”
Those were true though. He never thought of himself that much the way he thought about others. No matter how much others worry for him, he would only assure him that he was fine and he was good at convincing them even.
Kazuya sighed as he put away his camera and decided to go home. He had enough worrying for the day. He should worry about other important things, right? Like, submitting his photos to his editor, his grocery shopping, and other stuff to keep him living.
But he never worries about what he needed to keep him living happily.
He got inside his car and drove back to his apartment. He looked at the clock in the car and saw that it was already 9:48 in the evening. He bit his lip as he drove along the dark streets of Osaka trying to focus.
-
He fumbled with his keys as he opened the door to his apartment. He was welcome with darkness but the thought of opening the lights wasn’t considered. He knew his apartment too well so he walked around and his feet led him to his living room.
Moonlight and city lights were keeping the room lit and every furniture glowed with it. He plopped down his couch only to feel something very uncomfortable. Kazuya frowned at what he thought was a body so he got confused and looked at his couch.
His eyes suddenly widened at the thing that was actually lying on his couch.
“Jin!”
-
Author’s Notes:
So did the flashback clear everything up? I though it did. :] Haha. Only 2 more chapters to go and an epilogue!
So how’d you guys like it? Love it? Hate it? Comment about it. :D
♥