every once in a while i wander onto your account late at night and read the entries you wrote and

oh, god, I wish things were the way they used to be
but I don't.
We were so naive.
We were so new, like babies together, born into this and struggling to learn the feel and smell and taste of it all. We drank in so deeply, wrapped ourselves in the novelty ( Read more... )

It rained today and I played Mew with the window up, and got a simple calmness. Now I want to write very badly and can't because I haven't got anything to write, and it's all irritating in a way, but reading Caleb's writing is making me happier and happier because whatever our problems with being friends, Caleb is a fucking brilliant writer, jesus ( Read more... )

So ends the week before the week before the last week of school ( Read more... )

My brain is severely dysfunctional today.
I dreamed last night:
we were together, you and I, in my room
and we must have been upset, I don't know...there was some kind of tension between us, as if we either had just argued, or were about to, or were trying not to. Something.
But you looked at me. You just stopped talking and you looked at me and the ( Read more... )

One of my favorite songs by A Perfect Circle is an absolutely perfect photograph of what I become without you.
The emptiness, the cheating, the desperate race to fill the aching gaping place you leave behind.
I know the words by heart. They're here for you now. The parts that hit extremely hard directly on home (instead of close to home) are bolded ( Read more... )

      Oh god I wish someone would fix our hot water heater soon. If I have to take one more cold shower I....well I'll take it, of course,  but I won't like it. I hate, HATE not being able to go to bed with my skin reddened and my eyes low and drowsy from a hot shower, my mind clear and running at a normal speed with minimal confusion, all ( Read more... )

Man, what a week it's been.
This week I have:

+ told Daemon to stop treating me like shit (that brought strange results, if you can call them that)

+ told Drake he was pathetic for pushing what Daemon does with him (if it's even true) in my face every time we talk, and to leave me the fuck alone if he was just going to keep bragging about Daemon; also ( Read more... )

   Why does it seem like we spend as much, if not more, time talking about whether our relationship will last, or how to make it last, or  what have you, than we do actually having the relationship ( Read more... )

You know, I'm not at all certain why it makes me nervous, you and Caleb living in the same place. It's not as if there's a very great chance of you crossing paths; there are hundreds of thousands of people here in Baton Rouge that I never see, and I'm sure Edmonton is just as big, if not bigger, than here. Honestly, what are the odds?

am i afraid ( Read more... )

today is a depression day ( Read more... )