a list of things, 5 days into 2009 ( Read more... )

fuck this, fuck this, fuck this. how do things just disappear, why do things never line up, how do you not call someone after feeling so much and learning so much and believing in it so much, and how on earth did i do this to him twice before.

i hate this i hate this i hate this.

i cant sleep ( Read more... )

what else am i supposed to do when tealights are lit, the wine is gone, and im listening to sarah mclachlan's version of I'll Be Home for Christmas ( Read more... )

a list, hungover, happy, and listening to bonnie raitt ( Read more... )

i don't know what's going on anymore, and this feeling--of not being able to sleep, of wanting to crawl out of my skin, of wondering what's underneath all that's unsaid--is so familiar. and i hate it.

i need a reprieve.

im not crazy
im intense.

as tom put it tuesday night in therapy.

you need to stop saying you're crazy. you're you. and that's okay.

things that are keeping me up right now ( Read more... )

a few things, 3 01 am, thursday morning before halloween ( Read more... )

over the course of the past 2 1/2 months (or maybe, i think, over the past 4 weekends, ever since that Giant Talk on the floor of my room), michael and i have developed something that i didn't think was in the cards. i don't think he thought it was in the cards either. in fact, i'm sure he didn't ( Read more... )