A trip from Silverstag Eco Hamlet to Snowland with Paladin and talking about Metheus. A raw potluck reuniting me with old friends which included a powerful experience with Gavreel. Then a night beside Eagle, a lover of mine from 2014 who I had not seen in over a year. ( Read The Story )

Reflections on the five love languages as they pertain to writing someone a letter:
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A letter has the capacity to be a gift, quality time, or words of affection.
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It is a gift it to me if it explores aspects of who I am, and what I am.
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It is quality time if it shares who you are, what you are, or how you feel.
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It is words of affection if it praises ( Read more... )

"Muscle imbalance is another way we reflect reality," I wrote to Paladin. I was thinking of Oryx's arms, which were very large in comparison to the rest of her body, and how Paladin's had been similar when I met him, but balanced out over the first year of our relationship. "Arms represent external interactions," I continued, thinking of how ( Read more... )

As sick as I felt Wednesday, I still hoped that Thursday morning I would make it to flow-yoga on Thanksgiving morning. When I woke I felt awful. I put the idea from my mind. Still I hoped to make it to the potluck I had organized that evening. One way or another, I'd decided that I was leaving Snowland the next morning. It would mean bailing on ( Read more... )

After Hibiscus left for his weekend trip I found my mood changing rapidly. Where I had been giddy, now I was lost. Where I had been aroused, now I was tried. Where I had been excited, now I was tentative. Where I had been wise, now I was desolate. Where I had been angry, now I was weeping.
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Saturday evening I curled up on Hibiscus's bed and Paladin ( Read more... )

Standing in the bathroom, the shower water running, the humidity filling the room, I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. I was fully dressed in a long-sleeved black shirt and two pairs of pants. It was the coldest day we'd had in weeks at Redbud Community. I enjoyed the warmth emanating from the shower.
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Relief, at last.( Read more... )

"How can polyamory be true? I want it to be true, but how can it be? I've never loved two people at once the way I love you."( Read more... )

So do I believe I will lose Thistledown as a friend? On the surface, of course not. But deep down, I fear that I will lose everyone.( Read more... )

I know a man who is genuinely upset by fat people.
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I know another man who killed a dog because his father told him to do so to get back at a neighbor.
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I know a boy who was badly abused as a child and feels impulses to steal, to rape, to hurt other people and feels like all the time he is constantly resisting. He bites his knuckles when he gets ( Read more... )

I have my first gray hairs. I'm not yet thirty and I've got three of them all sprouting out of the same place in my head. I suspect is has something to do with my level of anxiety about Oryx and thinking about her with Paladin (my husband).
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I said to Paladin last night, "And that is why I'm not sure that I really am polyamorous. I don't feel  ( Read more... )