On the news tonight they had a report on the name of the new Harry Potter novel and the person reporting it actually seemed like they were excited. They also said that J.K. Rowling was upset about rumours of the name of the book that were untrue. "Oh fucking no, they have made a false name to my new novel it is the end of the world, I am going to ( Read more... )

"The man is a legend and we are going to show a whole new side of him. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humor." This here is a statement made by Ice T about Baywatch star David Hasselhoff. For some incredibly ridiculous reason Ice T thought it would be a good idea to make Hasselhoff into a rapper, "Hassel The Hoff ( Read more... )

I do not need someone to tell me what I am about to watch, I read that in the fucking snippet in the newspaper. Why should they get money to stand in a room and tell me about the shit I am about to observe? Fuck you Sandra Sully and fuck you Lisa McCune, you could at least do it naked, then it may seem like it is part of a world around us. Saggy ( Read more... )

I was in desperate need to take a dump when I reached the toilet and noticed there was a lack of toilet paper. I screamed in agony and ran to the cupboard where the spare toilet paper is stored. To my joy and appreciation someone had had the goodwill to buy me some super soft ultimo hardcore TP. I almost dropped my load right there so I could wipe ( Read more... )

At my place of work some of my regular customers are deaf. Apparently, if you are deaf you have the right to be a complete fuckwit. "Oh, you can't understand what I am saying? Learn to lip read arsehole." They get angry with me because I do not know what they want. I get them to write it down if they get too angry but the problem with that is they ( Read more... )

The people that wear Dada, Eminem or Snoop Dogg clothing (these are just a few examples) should just hang a sign around their neck with the writing, "I am a poor Wigga." This clothing shits me so very very much. For starters it is cheaps and falls apart really easily and the people who wear the full track suit style parachute shit look like shiny ( Read more... )

On Saturday 17th of April I observed a great man in action. His name is Cody ChesnuTT; he is almost as good as me and also looks good in leather. He walks out on stage and all that comes into your head is this guy is a fucking dude, of “The Big Labowski” kind. First off he shakes everyone in the front row’s hand and says a few words, then he ( Read more... )

The sreenplay writer Charlie Kaufman, who is a master at tripping you the fuck out, has out done himself. After doing some brilliant mind boggling writing such as; Being John Malcovich, Adaptation and Human Nature, he has shown us what he is truly capable of with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It is just a totally awesome mad wicked flick ( Read more... )

If it was only up to Debrah Messing and that poof that plays Will this show would be incredibly shit. It's like Frasier, except the main character actually admits that he is gay (if you cannot tell by now, I really really hate Frasier). I would be more interested in Debrah Messing if she went out and grew some breasts, her chest is the premature ( Read more... )

Today I watched Coyote Ugly for the first time ever. That was a massive mistake, it is extremely shit to the 10th power. I spewed blood from most of my orifaces for the first 20 minutes of this film, I thought I would stop watching it but it is one of those movies you have to watch to see if it gets better. There are also half naked chicks which is ( Read more... )