Toilet paper should care for my rectum.
I was in desperate need to take a dump when I reached the toilet and noticed there was a lack of toilet paper. I screamed in agony and ran to the cupboard where the spare toilet paper is stored. To my joy and appreciation someone had had the goodwill to buy me some super soft ultimo hardcore TP. I almost dropped my load right there so I could wipe my arse with it's soft sweetness. I am sick and tired of ripping my arse to shreds with cheap scratchy shit toilet paper.
I say fuck trees, my arse is so much more important than trees. We should make 10-ply TP that is so soft and fluffy it feels like you are wiping your arse with clouds and everytime you flush you give an angel wings. None of this thin newspaper like shit you find at a public toilet. Anyway, who would want to take a dump in a public toilet. Unless you are fucking majorly desperate and have a serious case of explosive diarhhea leaking out, do not fucking go there.
I say fuck trees, my arse is so much more important than trees. We should make 10-ply TP that is so soft and fluffy it feels like you are wiping your arse with clouds and everytime you flush you give an angel wings. None of this thin newspaper like shit you find at a public toilet. Anyway, who would want to take a dump in a public toilet. Unless you are fucking majorly desperate and have a serious case of explosive diarhhea leaking out, do not fucking go there.