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My love letter to BtVS
October of… I had to do the math. It was 2013. I was starting my 3rd year of an extreme bipolar depression (yes, I know “extreme depression” is redundant, but dammit there’s depression and then there’s DEPRESSION. I’ve experienced many levels and this one was the worst.) Throughout 2013 I had become addicted to The Vampire Diaries, show and ( Read more... ) -
5 years later...
Hi! I finally got around to doing something I've intended to do for a very long time, and that is take out identifying information from my private entries so that I could share a little bit of my story about my struggle with mental illness with the public. I wanted to do this because I don't think there is enough awareness about what it's really ( Read more... ) -
Today I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder
I don't have the mental energy to make a post, but I wanted to document the day
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(Untitled)
The thing that is so hard is not knowing the terms for what I am feeling. I feel shitty. But I also just don't give a fuck. I am trying everything I can to get my mind to SHUT THE FUCK UP! but it's just not working. 1.5 clonopin, several beers, etc. I've felt this way before, but never really though about it. Like I thought this was just the ( Read more... ) -
**sigh**
Maybe I'm making things worse in my mind than they really are. I just know that I would not be feeling like this if the Zoloft was working. It is hard to tell how I really feel and how I have felt in the past. I read some things about bipolar II and cyclothymia and they really resonated with how I feel sometimes. Maybe I have mixed states? I ( Read more... ) -
Been a few weeks...
So I haven't been writing like I said I was. Oh, well. I should document that we actually received a relatively significant snowfall on February 23rd. It was so awesome. I was at the office when it started, and looking out the windows over the valley looked like a snow globe. BIG flakes. It was so pretty with the evergreens that we have ( Read more... ) -
Private (well, not so much anymore)
So I went to the doctor yesterday for a check-in regarding my anti-depresants/anxiety meds. I told him I was backsliding a little and I thought it may be the "winter blues", but that I had an anxiety attack last Tuesday (first one since my surgery). He actually said I am doing pretty good on the Klonopin (12 pills left from the 30 he prescribed ( Read more... ) -
Okay, this time I'm really going to start writing
I will now try to write at least a few times a week, even if nothing exciting is going on. I think it is important to chronicle life. Not sure why, but it is neat to look back years later and remember "how things were ( Read more... ) -
Update
So I can say that I have been feeling quite a bit better over the last week. I did have the flu September 2 - 7, but my spirits were fine despite being ill. Allergies have been buggin like crazy - I have used 6 of my Imitrex since Friday, so I think I need to get some different allergy medicine, the Claritin just doesn't seem to be doing the ( Read more... ) -
Feeling okay
I am feeling okay today. A little emotional this morning, but not depressed or anxious. I did, however, continue with a headache last night, didn't sleep well at all. I am relatively sure it is related to seasonal allergies, though. Today I took a Claritin before a headache started, and 2 Excedrin as one was starting, and it knocked it out. I ( Read more... )