5 years later...
Hi! I finally got around to doing something I've intended to do for a very long time, and that is take out identifying information from my private entries so that I could share a little bit of my story about my struggle with mental illness with the public. I wanted to do this because I don't think there is enough awareness about what it's really like. My struggle to find out what was going on in my mind and the long, long, looooong process from realizing something was not right to getting even a proper diagnosis is something that a lot of people go through, but don't really talk about. A simple example of this is that all posts about my personal struggles were marked "private" until today. I didn't change anything other than removing names. I even left in all the typos *cringe* because I think they illustrate the state of mind I was in.
I'd like to say that all is well now, but the truth is that I live with agoraphobia, general anxiety, and the risks associated with bipolar disorder (heavy on the depression) every single day. I also have panic attacks, though luckily not every day (anymore and for now.)
I recently started a tumblr blog that is heavy on fandom stuff, but I will probably start cross-posting to that about my experiences. I hope I don't come across as self-involved, though I guess any time you are sharing about yourself it is by definition self-involved. But my main goal is to help others feel not as alone and isolated as we inevitably feel when we have a disease of the mind.
I hope people will feel free to comment and share their own experiences with me. This is going to be a safe place, I have no qualms about deleting any posts from trolls and hopefully if that happens I will catch it before anyone else has to see it.
That's all for now! I'll be writing more about what's happened to me since the time of my last post in the future, but it's an emotional subject so it might take some time.
HOUSEKEEPING: Since I mostly used livejournal to communicate with family and record my private thoughts, I am not very experienced in using the website. Forgive me if I mess up!
Also, it was brought to my attention recently that my handle "kittyfajitas" could be taken kinda dirty. It is not meant that way! It's an inside joke about not having enough money for food, so we'll have to eat the cats. Kittens are the perfect size for fajitas (yes, I'm from Texas.)
I'd like to say that all is well now, but the truth is that I live with agoraphobia, general anxiety, and the risks associated with bipolar disorder (heavy on the depression) every single day. I also have panic attacks, though luckily not every day (anymore and for now.)
I recently started a tumblr blog that is heavy on fandom stuff, but I will probably start cross-posting to that about my experiences. I hope I don't come across as self-involved, though I guess any time you are sharing about yourself it is by definition self-involved. But my main goal is to help others feel not as alone and isolated as we inevitably feel when we have a disease of the mind.
I hope people will feel free to comment and share their own experiences with me. This is going to be a safe place, I have no qualms about deleting any posts from trolls and hopefully if that happens I will catch it before anyone else has to see it.
That's all for now! I'll be writing more about what's happened to me since the time of my last post in the future, but it's an emotional subject so it might take some time.
HOUSEKEEPING: Since I mostly used livejournal to communicate with family and record my private thoughts, I am not very experienced in using the website. Forgive me if I mess up!
Also, it was brought to my attention recently that my handle "kittyfajitas" could be taken kinda dirty. It is not meant that way! It's an inside joke about not having enough money for food, so we'll have to eat the cats. Kittens are the perfect size for fajitas (yes, I'm from Texas.)