I'm going to start a new journal. Not because I want to leave this behind me. I don't believe that's a good way to live - we are all our past more than we are our present. No matter how much we try to live in the now, if we do, we are always everything that we've ever done, and everything that has ever happened to us. Even if you're not a ( Read more... )

Reasons I Have Been Especially Grateful for Sam (in no particular order ( Read more... )

I can't handle anything. Every little thing is too much. I am disgusted at myself for this.

Today I laughed and it sounded like another language, from another time, in another person's mouth and lungs.

I haven't been feeling like myself. It's hard to pinpoint when it started, except when I look back on my relationship with Sam. Because I guess by myself there's no reference point, but it's easier to trace that kind of thing when you're really affecting another person ( Read more... )

Bleehhh. Last week I pulled both my calf muscles at the gym (still not sure how; never felt overstrained [I was only on the elliptical for 40 minutes and didn't even work my lower body on weights], ate enough and drank enough...) and couldn't walk for two days ( Read more... )

I had the worst dream I'd had in a long time. I'd awakened earlier, having gotten far too little sleep (especially after a grueling-awesome workout yesterday and work all day all weekend). I was annoyed and almost resigned to waking up and yet again being listless for another day until bedtime, but Sam tickled my back. Immediately I was calm again ( Read more... )

Sam's list of all artists seen (and his entire entry on the trip ( Read more... )

Vacation, Day 1 - Touring half of Rehoboth Ave: Beautiful Indian clothes, red velvet Smith Island cake, a seafoam dress from a hippie store (Sam and two women gasped when I walked out with it on; how could I resist that kind of ego-stroking?), rainbow LGBT stuff from Out Gear, fancy candies and liquorice, sunset beach stroll, fantastic dinner at ( Read more... )

Lately: Calmer, less quick to anger/annoyance, less anxious, more patient ( Read more... )