(at least that's what they tell me.)

i'm a "smart" girl with a promising future. i'm a decorated student with a passion for learning.
i'm a "pretty" girl with long brown hair and bright green eyes. i'm the one who "eats what she wants and never gains a pound."
i'm a "fun" girl with friends in all of the cliques and friends with her teachers, too.
i'm a ( Read more... )

i just flushed a bunch of food. i wasn't trying to keep it from myself and i hate feeling wasteful... i just HATE knowing that there is food nearby. i feel like the calories might float through the air and land on me or something. sigh. i need to lie down. life is hard when you have no energy from not eating for days.

<3

love you, dolls.

i must admit that i'm grateful to have been born with naturally skinny legs. but i haven't eaten in a while, and now i can't feel them. you know that feeling you get when you sleep on your arm funny and your hand falls asleep? welp, my legs feel that way from the knees down. funny thing is, i've just been sitting here doing nothing. at first, i ( Read more... )

i haven't eaten more than 200 cals/day for as long as i can remember. i've plateaued. i'm sick all the time, my heartbeat is irregular, i'm always tired, and i'm trying to find someone who can get me some speed. i'm sick of always being too fat for my own good ( Read more... )

and i'm sorry. school has been hectic, and balancing homework, research, two jobs, family, friends, and a boyfriend has proven to be exhausting. i'm tired all of the time, and my scales are gone. i think my roommate hid them, but that's because she's fat and jealous. i started my period last night, so on top of not knowing what i weigh and being ( Read more... )

i'm sick... in more ways than one, and i can't focus enough to keep control. i've been eating here and there all day, but nothing major. total cals for the day have to be under 600, but i must admit that i wasn't keeping track. i feel like shit right now. i just want my boyfriend to come and hold me until i fall asleep; he makes me feel so peaceful ( Read more... )

i love when my roommate is gone; it is silent. the only things i hear are the cars driving by, my fingers on the keyboard, and my stomach telling me how thin i'm getting. i feel like i'm going to have an emotional breakdown soon. i'm the type of girl who bottles things up, keeps herself together on the outside, then breaks down every once in a ( Read more... )

not sure who cares, but here's what i'll be doing for the next month. if i do it this way, then i'll be more likely to get back on track if i have an off-day. i usually just write this out in my ana journal, but it's at home (i can't risk my roommate finding it). there's only a week worth of liquid fasting listed, but i'm sure i'll do more than 7 ( Read more... )

has made me feel like a cow. a plain baked potato with black pepper and a cup of hot tea. i'm bloated, but i needed something warm in my tummy; it's ridiculously cold, and i needed to take lots of notes in one of my classes. i'm getting ready to walk to work now. i've decided that walking in the cold will be my punishment for eating when i didn't ( Read more... )

day 2 of my fast. today will be busy a busy one, and i think my best friend will try to get me to break my fast. we'll be together for10 hours or so, and i'm positive that there will be food somewhere in there. on the bright side, my wisdom teeth are coming in, so i'm hoping to use that excuse to get out of any possible meals today. my mouth is ( Read more... )