- School is amazing; lots of classes = less unhealthy snacking.
- Being married is amazing; I get to cook low fat meals all the time AND eat smaller portions than I did at my parents house.
- I haven't been feeling very sexy or appealing lately... feelings which my husband can read like a book. He is always telling me how beautiful I am, but I don't ( Read more... )

today has been rough. breakfast was a glass of tea, and i've been staring at an apple and a bunch of grapes just TRYING to eat them.

sigh.

antm starts tonight. praise God. i need a fix, and a new season keeps me focused on something other than myself. classes have started, and i'm really happy. i'm smart, and it feels fabulous that i've finally come ( Read more... )

Today, I woke up to go to the doctor for a pregnancy test (my husband and I are both happy that it was negative) and migraine help. I closed my eyes when the nurse put me on the scale, but she said the number aloud. Damn. I have already been struggling with my healthier weight, and now I am faced with the fact that I weight 5 pounds more than I ( Read more... )

long story short, people got too worried. august was the first time i've had my own computer since february. i doubt that any of you will remember me, but i thought i'd stop by and say hi :o)

intake has been horrible lately. i can't seem to eat more than 400-500 cals a day. oh yeah, i'm married now (which is why i got my computer back: hubby trusts ( Read more... )

I really (more than usual) hate the way I look today, just as I have for the past week or so. I haven't weighed myself in almost 2 weeks, and that might be a new record for me.

Just wanted to get it out there.

I just heard that the average woman in America is 5'4" tall and weighs 152 lbs.
That makes me 3 inches taller and 35 pounds lighter than average.

...So why do I still feel so fat and ugly?

<3

I've been keeping a spreadsheet of my measurements, weight, exercise, and intake. It's a sick system, but I feel SO much relief knowing that the cold hard facts are being recorded ( Read more... )

Intake:
3 cups of coffee
1/3 chicken breast
7 reduced fat cheez its
3 bottles of water

I feel great. I did pilates twice today. I can feel my abs (they're pretty tight). I know that if I can cut my fat/cal intake some more, I'll see mad abs. I can see the outlines of abs on either side of my stomach. My hip bones are sticking out. My stomach is flat. I' ( Read more... )

and my mindset has been challenged while i was away. I've learned many things about myself. (1) I'm losing weight for my own peace of mind; changing others' opinions of me is merely a bonus in the scheme of things. (2) I'm not as pretty as people tell me, they're just too kind to be honest. (3) I can hide taking diet pills and not feel guilty about ( Read more... )

i'm afraid for people to find out about my ED ( Read more... )