So it's been two full weeks now. I can safely say it's getting a little bit easier to not call you on account of the fact that i'm focusing my energy on the potential of other people. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, I still feel the same. I want to be with you. Even after going out with the guy that was totally out of my league in high school ( Read more... )

I don't get it. I've read what you wanted me to read about 5 times now. The first time it made me cry as I read out loud the way you used to see me when we first started dating. It was really sweet. It's sad that you don't see me like that anymore. Because I haven't changed. I think I'm still just as radiant and even more passionate than I used to ( Read more... )

It's only been two full days. I'm nauseous. I'm literally sick to my stomach. Christmas Eve has become a dreaded night for me now. I was going to go visit with you and your family and now, on the first christmas eve i've had off in 4 years, I'll be sitting here alone. I suppose I could join my extended family at my uncle's father's house but ( Read more... )

So here I sit... gritting my teeth. Angry, and filled with the worst pain. Is it possible to be filled with emptiness? That seems to be the best way to describe it.  I don't know what to do and I know there's nothing I can do. If I call you or contact you then you aren't really alone. You won't feel like you're alone. I know the phrase "If you love ( Read more... )

I hate you. I hate you. I want to sleep for days and pretend I never met you ( Read more... )

As much as the nightly rainstorms interrupt starlit walks on Playa Samara, I absolutely love hearing the rain pour down on the tin roofs of the Tico Lodge. It's the most perfect rain noise I've ever heard. Like the ones they create for sleep machines. It's coming down harder now... A good time for attempting to sleep. I haven't slept straight ( Read more... )

I forgot to mention I was reading the blog you wrote that I never knew you wrote until I read it in Oz. The one that brought me to tears it was so beautiful.

It made me smile, but like you said, at the same time made me sad.

I had to wonder... do you feel the same, or should I just consider it a found memory?

So I thought it necessary to write a ( Read more... )

I don't really know what label to put on the weight I felt today...

I wouldn't call it anger, depression, or sadness even. Maybe giving up? No, that's too final and certainly not what I want.

I don't remember when I talked to you last but I wasn't happy when I hung up. I've sent you probably 8 messages since then and have checked everyday for a reply ( Read more... )

I understand. I really do... I don't just pretend to ( Read more... )

As I'm staring into my computer screen and the words all blur together I wonder "why?"... That one word can sum up so many thoughts running through my head right now ( Read more... )