And it goes on and on... and on.
It's only been two full days. I'm nauseous. I'm literally sick to my stomach. Christmas Eve has become a dreaded night for me now. I was going to go visit with you and your family and now, on the first christmas eve i've had off in 4 years, I'll be sitting here alone. I suppose I could join my extended family at my uncle's father's house but wherever I end up that night I'm sure all I'll be thinking about is the fact that I was supposed to be with you. And last Christmas... same thing.
What I can't get myself to comrehend or digest is that idea that if you don't want to be with me then I shouldn't want to be with you.
It's simple. It's logical. It's right. But... I just can't. I still want to be with you despite the fact that you've destroyed me a second christmas in a row. Why do I still even want you after the pain you've caused me again. What the hell is wrong with me?
I don't know, but the fact remains I want this to be fixed. Now.
What I can't get myself to comrehend or digest is that idea that if you don't want to be with me then I shouldn't want to be with you.
It's simple. It's logical. It's right. But... I just can't. I still want to be with you despite the fact that you've destroyed me a second christmas in a row. Why do I still even want you after the pain you've caused me again. What the hell is wrong with me?
I don't know, but the fact remains I want this to be fixed. Now.