This makes no sense...
I don't get it. I've read what you wanted me to read about 5 times now. The first time it made me cry as I read out loud the way you used to see me when we first started dating. It was really sweet. It's sad that you don't see me like that anymore. Because I haven't changed. I think I'm still just as radiant and even more passionate than I used to be. As I get closer to my dream, now that I'm working with whales I feel elated most of the time. You act like you have the power to ruin my life. There was a time where I let guys have that power but I don't anymore. Yes, I was crushed beyond belief when you did this to me again. But that's what happens when you actually let someone in. I guess you wouldn't know what that's like because you keep people out. I trusted you and it backfired. Such is life. I usually dont fully trust guys either. But I trusted you. I really did. I knew you wouldn't leave me for someone else, I knew you wouldn't hurt my feeling intentionally or disrespect me like some guys have. But sometimes I did worry that you would leave me for yourself. I could ignore it and just live day by day but that's a little niave. I hoped it wouldn't happen and gave all my love anyway, knowing it might. I loved you too much to just give up what we had because if we did last being with you would be the most amazing thing in the world. It was worth the risk. It still hurt though.
That's why sometimes my glow gets dulled. Most of the time I'm incredibly happy and never even think about you leaving me, but once in a while it would become blindingly apparent that you wanted to venture off in a life by yourself without any regard for me. I would be inhuman if that didn't stab me in the heart a little. It feels like rejection times a million. You have to give your heart to love someone or it doesn't feel as powerful. That amazing feeling everyone talks about that was so intense with you I felt because I let you in and let my guard down. You have to to be connected to someone at that level. I don't think you get that. I think it scares you. Your comfy shirt is being alone. But it won't be like that forever. It won't. And went you want your new shirt, it wont be there and you'll be stuck with the old dirty one until it disintagrates to nothing and your left bare.
That's why sometimes my glow gets dulled. Most of the time I'm incredibly happy and never even think about you leaving me, but once in a while it would become blindingly apparent that you wanted to venture off in a life by yourself without any regard for me. I would be inhuman if that didn't stab me in the heart a little. It feels like rejection times a million. You have to give your heart to love someone or it doesn't feel as powerful. That amazing feeling everyone talks about that was so intense with you I felt because I let you in and let my guard down. You have to to be connected to someone at that level. I don't think you get that. I think it scares you. Your comfy shirt is being alone. But it won't be like that forever. It won't. And went you want your new shirt, it wont be there and you'll be stuck with the old dirty one until it disintagrates to nothing and your left bare.