I guess that crazy poster must have worked. I definately do not see how it could have been deemed inappropriate because as anyone can see, the burning bat is being used to light the way for lost pigme babies, and the seemingly threatening slogan is actually just a friendly suggestion for people who have lost their TV remotes. Nevertheless, ( Read more... )

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I never imagined the American culture could have degraded to the point where classic songs are ritually slaughtered by new artists to the point where they become unrecognizable. To prove my point, let's try a simple test ( Read more... )

It's tiring to hear you all complain about how I haven't updated in some odd years. The truth is there is something much more vindicating than peddling my thoughts onto a webpage no cares to comment about anymore. I'll give you hint, it starts with a D and ends with riving. After the celebration of the new era marked by my 17th birthday, auto ( Read more... )

After seeing how many of you got goosed today by the HowellSurfCo prank, you obviously forgot one of the most underrated pseudo-holidays of the year. I shouldn't even call it pseudo because after all the shitty politically correct made up holidays, April Fools Day is starting to look pretty legitimate. It's definitely made its way into the Top Five ( Read more... )

For those of you who do not know already, the cell phone that has doubled as my paper weight for 5 years has finally rang it's last ring. You may say, hey no big loss, that thing was a brick, or you may just be realizing that in fact it was a cell phone at all. Believe what you will, but all insults aside, it was a damn good cell phone. Maybe it ( Read more... )

It wasn't the bottom of the 9th. The bases were not loaded and the scores weren't even close, but I still struck someone out looking on an eefus. You might not know what that is, but you're probably just not versed in the myriad of pitches I am capable of throwing. Imagine a soggy piece of meat traveling at about 20 mph in an arc larger than the ( Read more... )

Some call him Coach Peters. Others call him Hot Tub, but we all know him as Joe Specchio. He tells people he is a 17 year old high school student who enjoys playing sports and likes history, but the truth is far different. In reality, Joe is a 73 year old man. He has three kids, Dave Irvine, Grunderella, and Dan Trucano. His pastimes include ( Read more... )

It was time for the second major Colts Neck Baseball fundraiser of the year. For the second time, it was bagging groceries. Same game, but new place. We graduated from the ShopRight in Freehold to the SuperFoodTown over in the RainTree shopping center. Bagging groceries is one of those experiences that builds character, and I say that because, ( Read more... )

Look! It's a test, it's an exam, no it's the High School Proficiency Assessment! All the homeslices out there say it slang like the HSPA, but it doesn't matter who you are, you don't even have to wear pants to know, this test is a waste of time. Right off the bat, the test is fundamentally flawed. If we're all living in this happy go lucky, ( Read more... )