Pimp my Ride...

[aguyfromhowell]

It's tiring to hear you all complain about how I haven't updated in some odd years. The truth is there is something much more vindicating than peddling my thoughts onto a webpage no cares to comment about anymore. I'll give you hint, it starts with a D and ends with riving. After the celebration of the new era marked by my 17th birthday, auto insurance premiums soared across the country, and with good reason. Since I've started driving, I've cracked the windshield on the Cherokee, burnt out the brakes on the Wrangler, and worn the treads off all four tires on the blue truck. To make a long story short, I got downgraded until my vehicle of choice was burning off its' wheels on the side of i 195. So to bring things up to date, I'm currently driving quite possibly the most bodacious 91' Chevy WT ever to grace the roads. I might as well get personalized plates that say URDRULN cause this sheetmetal beauty would even make the fools over at MTV's pimp my ride jealous. To start, it's exterior paintjob is textured with rust spots and a sleek dark blue streak down the side, with the initials WT in it. Whether these initials signify Work Truck or White Trash is still open to debate. Then there are the wheels. Forget about Dubs and 25 inch rims, just give me wheels that spin and stick to the road. Since most of you drive new vehicles you take certain luxuries for granted. You know, things like air conditioning, glove compartments that latch, and ANTI-LOCK BRAKES. This truck was before the age they coined the phrase, stops on a dime. Back then they used, slides for a while, hits bus full of nuns and eventually ceases to move. I really can't figure out how the truck passed it's last inspection. There must have been some insane Enron bribery involved because the emissions could choke Mrs. Tyndell, and that's one big bitch. I swear that every time the engine turns over and the cab fills with fumes, points peal off my SAT score. If I keep driving this quality vehicle, my next SAT won't come back with scores, instead, I'll get one of those little hats and a work application to Burger King. Yea, I should just save some time and put a bumper sticker on the truck that says, Passengers are Brookdale Bound. But for the time being, let the good times roll. Next time you hear Hey Ya being blasted from the shitty four speaker system of a blue pick up truck, you won't even need to look at the asshole wearing safety sunglasses with a farmer's tan to realize it's me. I updated and in case anyone has forgotten, I still rule. End of Story.
http://www.ryano.net/iraq/?212