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Sometimes I remember...
Sometimes I remember you, but at least it's fondly. It's more than you deserve. It was slight, whatever it was... just a structure, bare bones leaning against each other trying to make a shape. It was fun, and sometimes fun is fleeting. But I'm glad this particular fun ended. I am here now partly because of you. I was going to wait until grad ( Read more... ) -
15 June
I'm annoyed with myself. I haven't been sleeping well and I can't get anything done. There's a traffic jam in my mind; thoughts are clogging up and driving me crazy, but I can't turn them off. I should be excited for Pride this weekend: I get to see one of my best buddies, I'll be keeping busy, seeing friends, going to a club and watching concerts ( Read more... ) -
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To those closest to me ( Read more... ) -
Grind
Heavy weight already before getting up. I wake up before my alarm; I need to feed the cat. Not my cat, and I won't make him wait. I should just go in pajamas, everyone around here does, walking their dogs and having their early-morning lung-clearing smoke. I put on the hoodie I've worn every morning--it's already caked in hairs--throw on pants ( Read more... ) -
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The music’s not fitting--trying to draw a picture with no commas and no thought--my life. Sometimes your heart pounds for no reason and you can’t eradicate the problem, like invisible weeds. That girl doesn’t know it, that man hasn’t felt it, that couple has never known, holding hands across sticky tables and paying no attention to whatever ( Read more... ) -
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A near life experience is taking walks in wet grass with no shoes at midnight. A near-life experience is feeling numb in the mind. A near-life experience is spending time talking to the guy who takes your order at Wendy's simply because he's alive and your happy to be around him. A near-life experience is sleeping naked. A near-life experience is ( Read more... ) -
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If my windows were open any wider, I'd be living outside. I'm not typically one for sunny, hot weather--unless I'm in a pool--but there's nothing quite like this feeling after a long, difficult winter. Music sounds better, food tastes better, I am actually enjoying things, and I'm oddly motivated for my finals. I'm very season-driven, so I can't ( Read more... ) -
Thoughts on Zen
I try on different lives like borrowed jackets. Some fit, some even feel good. Some are nice, but need tailoring. I know the things I like, the things that I try to keep-- but sometimes they get buried at the bottom of the closet while I rip and tear at the ones that I realize now are not worth wearing. So I'm not buying any new ones, and I'm ( Read more... ) -
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Dirge Without Music
"I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the ( Read more... )
