(no subject)
If my windows were open any wider, I'd be living outside. I'm not typically one for sunny, hot weather--unless I'm in a pool--but there's nothing quite like this feeling after a long, difficult winter. Music sounds better, food tastes better, I am actually enjoying things, and I'm oddly motivated for my finals. I'm very season-driven, so I can't help but believe that the change I've been being patient for is in effect. The best part is I feel that I've worked for it. I've made it through the frosts and can now enjoy the thaw.
There are a lot of things "brewing" right now, but the nice thing is I feel like I can deal with them, however they turn out. I've been through a lot of highs and lows just in the last two months alone, but everyone has to test the waters before they swim. When I think now about what might NOT happen, I realize I'll still be okay. A job might take a while to get, but it will happen when it needs to and where. Significant others will come and go, but right now there is no reason I need to be serious about that anyway. Really the only thing I have to be serious about is school, everything else gets my permission to be fun.
I called home this morning and listening to my dad narrate what the neighbours are doing at that moment is always a reminder of how much I miss home. I miss my smoothie orange room with all my posters, the artsty ones, the creepy Alice In Wonderland one, the cutouts of hot people from magazines, and the CD inserts taped to my headboard. I miss my Spongebob light and my Van Gogh looking desk in the sun room branching off my room. I miss that palace of windows, and the view of our amazing backyard. I miss the backyard especially--all our flowers, trees, plants, critters... I can't wait to go home. I didn't realize how much you start to miss it when you can't just go home every month anymore.
Now I see pictures of my animals on facebook and I'd forgotten how they looked. In some ways, it's kind of a neat feeling to come back to these things after such a long time; it's like having ice cream for the first time in years, and you treasure it more. I've done so much since I left, it's almost unreal to think I used to live in that other world. But I like it. I like having two worlds, two lives, two existences. This world is fun, but I'm definitely ready for a trip home.
There are a lot of things "brewing" right now, but the nice thing is I feel like I can deal with them, however they turn out. I've been through a lot of highs and lows just in the last two months alone, but everyone has to test the waters before they swim. When I think now about what might NOT happen, I realize I'll still be okay. A job might take a while to get, but it will happen when it needs to and where. Significant others will come and go, but right now there is no reason I need to be serious about that anyway. Really the only thing I have to be serious about is school, everything else gets my permission to be fun.
I called home this morning and listening to my dad narrate what the neighbours are doing at that moment is always a reminder of how much I miss home. I miss my smoothie orange room with all my posters, the artsty ones, the creepy Alice In Wonderland one, the cutouts of hot people from magazines, and the CD inserts taped to my headboard. I miss my Spongebob light and my Van Gogh looking desk in the sun room branching off my room. I miss that palace of windows, and the view of our amazing backyard. I miss the backyard especially--all our flowers, trees, plants, critters... I can't wait to go home. I didn't realize how much you start to miss it when you can't just go home every month anymore.
Now I see pictures of my animals on facebook and I'd forgotten how they looked. In some ways, it's kind of a neat feeling to come back to these things after such a long time; it's like having ice cream for the first time in years, and you treasure it more. I've done so much since I left, it's almost unreal to think I used to live in that other world. But I like it. I like having two worlds, two lives, two existences. This world is fun, but I'm definitely ready for a trip home.