I've not been at all well physically today. Neither mentally. Three Fucking Years here to the day. I'm absolutely trapped and all I want to do is move away. I hate it. All my things in the wrong home. If I could still drive I'd have just got into my car and gone. I've lived in Eighteen different places, three of which were completely isolated which ( Read more... )

Coming on for three years since I had to leave the cottage and still my heart and very soul break with loss and longing. I have lived in seventeen places. I adored the little moorland village of Osmotherley, but the cottage was everything. I was there Seventeen years. Over two thirds of my life. I still hate this place no matter what I do. Every ( Read more... )

It never gets easier. Fucking agency rota tonight shows 2 strangers for this week & a newbie. Only 4 of 19 hours are my Actual Agreed Care Team & that also makes me afraid 😢 Just as I start to get a level of acceptance for that bloody place, my father fucks it over. It's such a fragile balance between the forced acceptance & the hatred of that ( Read more... )

Yet another day of extreme stress, that's Four days in a row of Extreme stress from dealing with the builder for that Fucking place 😠 I Can't do this and no one is listening! Today's was made worse because I was awake from 5am to 8am really stressed over the 4 major issues at the front of that place. Then I wake to find a message from the builder ( Read more... )

What happened.... ... Hard to believe it's just over 2 weeks since I felt that I broke. I have had some extremely hard stressful situations going on ( Read more... )

So many, many thanks to those who replied to previous posts etc, I really do appreciate it. Especially since I've perfected the art of alienating myself from almost everyone ( Read more... )

I have no idea how to word all this, because I'm really not understanding it myself. Home for me is a place of safety, a place of comfort, it's where I love to be, it's where I want to be. I don't have holidays, I've always wanted to stay at home & as soon as I was old enough my parents left me behind. In all my adult life I've only ever had one ( Read more... )

I am in a foul mood & have finally finished viewing 1240 properties online today from any of the market towns we're after. Not one thing suitable for any of the now three possible plans. Two of which are dead in the water anyway & the third fucking horrid. I am fucking bastard pissed off & throughly fucking fed up.

Certainly a lot better than I was yesterday. My parents have been frantic house searching this weekend, & rang me up to tell me they were going to a property they saw yesterday to get photos so they could go to the planning office with them. Erm, mighn't I wish to see the property before dashing off with things I know nothing about but may end up ( Read more... )

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