Rest in Peace my beautiful precious Phoebe. My wonderful sweet Phoebe Furball was 17.

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This caught me completely unawares, my carer had left and I was waiting until Tilly got here. The programme started on the radio and within minutes I was completely drawn in. The Wood by John Lewis-Stempel (Omnibus)I was enthralled, enchanted and focused on nothing but listening. It was the story over the year of Cockshutt Wood in Herefordshire. He ( Read more... )

Coming on for three years since I had to leave the cottage and still my heart and very soul break with loss and longing. I have lived in seventeen places. I adored the little moorland village of Osmotherley, but the cottage was everything. I was there Seventeen years. Over two thirds of my life. I still hate this place no matter what I do. Every ( Read more... )

A terrible realisation hit me earlier this evening as news I heard without thinking about the implications sank in. I've been weepy ever since. There's so much involved, so much implicated, so much loss, it makes me feel empty, it makes my world tilt. I can't say a word, can't say a thing and all that I can think about is the need to say it. I ( Read more... )

I failed to mention the landlords visit Thursday week ago. I am to lose about 1/5 to 1/4 of my third of an acre garden. This meant that poor Tilly had to exhume poor Tobacco as he was buried next to the fence. The entire fence is coming down to be rebuilt as a horse fence but the lower area to be lost,an approximate measurement is an uneven ( Read more... )

Out today with my mother. She mentions that she saw him in Heron. I say I haven't seen him in years. There is a sorrow in her quiet exclamation of "Oh."
He never was anything to me, but ah Gods he was special for me. He never knew. I barely knew him. I still sometimes dream of him....

After the horrific events of Saturday here I needed to do something simple yesterday. Something mindless, something that required no care or thought to achieve, but achieved something so I stitched both snowflake fleecy blankets together and made a throw big enough to cover my riser/recliner chair. I'm rather pleased with it, simple to do, simple ( Read more... )

Another day passes in illness or really more illness than usual. I slept this afternoon, carer woke me when she arrived for tea, I spoke to my mum and then pretty much did very little (which I find deeply frustrating) and came to bed extremely early for me. Then woke 10ish and posted a bit here, then tablets then bed. Now I'm awake again. I feel ( Read more... )

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