It's taken me a long time to write about this, because it's painful and I don't know what to say ( Read more... )

We found an apartment. It's nothing grand but it's in a great location, serves our needs and is the right price. This has strangely served as some sort of catalyst in our relationship.

Kurt always told me that moving into a new place with someone, making it "our" apartment rather than "my" apartment or "Patrick's" apartment... Is a changing point ( Read more... )

The job hunt goes on and on. Thankfully I'm still living with my mom, or things would be pretty dire.

I'm working as her personal assistant. I have to admit, I like the work. I'm gaining skills and it keeps me busy and helps her run her business more smoothly, since she doesn't have to do a ton of extraneous time-wasting. And I've saved up almost $ ( Read more... )

When I first moved to San Francisco, when I first started journaling this adventure, I felt, constantly, this dull terror of the unknown. The questioning, why did I do this? Was this right? Everything is wrong.

Now, I've moved back to Seattle and have affirmed: I was not wrong. It was the right thing, moving to San Francisco. And I've never felt as ( Read more... )

Things have gone well as of late. Patrick is almost ready to send in his law school applications, our relationship is doing better than ever, and we are settling into life here as well as can be expected. Patrick absolutely loves it here.

Unfortunately, I am still crushingly homesick for San Francisco. And some part of me hates it more every time ( Read more... )

I'll be honest - sometimes I really don't know what to write here anymore.  I feel that so many years of expressing my angst, struggles, triumphs and defeats in San Francisco both empowered and deflated me in terms of expressing myself about my life ( Read more... )

Things are okay ( Read more... )

We've been making an effort to get outdoors more - it's really fun exploring places I may not have otherwise gone, since Patrick has a real desire to see more of the Northwest.

Today we went on a drive out into the mountains and visited a place called Spada Lake, of which I had never heard. The Cascades rose almost directly out of the lake, which ( Read more... )

Since of late this had been a photo journal, here's a recent, fun pic I took of myself. It reminds me this isn't all that bad.


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Went all over trying to get my WA Driver's License today and was wholly ineffective.

I still don't feel like I belong here and keep thinking I'm going back to San Francisco after this visit is over - and then I remember I'm not visiting.

I hope I didn't make a wrong decision but I constantly second guess myself.

I miss my friends.