My home is clean now.

Everything is really nice here.

I just need to find a way to keep this place without getting evicted, since I'm still desperately unemployed and it's getting ridiculous.

It's been a little over a year since Patrick and I broke up and I moved out of, and back into, my apartment. I've made the space my own, but...

You keep scratching the faces off coins ( Read more... )

Ugh, I just ate breakfast and I'm still FUCKING STARVING.

Fuck this medication, fuck my broken ass brain chemistry, fuck it all.

Today wasn't a very good day for me ( Read more... )

I've gone back onto my original drug cocktail ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel so goddamned empty that if I close my eyes, I wonder if I still exist.

Everything is hard.

I hate it here.

I'm so fucking lonely.

I feel like I'm living in this huge echo chamber.

I lost my job the other day. Basically they told me I'm not a good fit. At least they said they liked working with me, so that's a thing.

I've been off my various medications for months and am losing functionality.

Everything is closing in.

I am at the beginning of an expanse of nothingness, as farad the eye can see.

Alone.

Terrified.

I will use the desolation, the nothingness, as a blank canvas, upon whose vast, beautiful, terrifying canvas i will paint and construct and sculpt nothing but my own potential.

To make my already precarious emotional situation SO MUCH BETTER...

My already part time job has had to cut everyone's hours. In fact, they've cut my hours next week down to FOUR. And next week, fabulously, is when rent is due. OF COURSE.

Time to find a second job. Or a new job. Or curl up in a ball and die.

The funny thing about breaking up is that you get lonely ( Read more... )