It's funny. Ever since Patrick and I split up, I've had a really weird relationship with this apartment. I love it but I just couldn't do anything here because I was just... heartbroken. When Patrick moved out, I got roommates, who lived in the master bedroom, and I lived in the tiny guest room. I'm anxious around people, ESPECIALLY people I live ( Read more... )

It's been a little over a year since Patrick and I broke up and I moved out of, and back into, my apartment. I've made the space my own, but...

You keep scratching the faces off coins ( Read more... )

I've been trying to do something with myself that isn't sitting around feeling sorry for myself, so I started taking aerial arts classes at a studio in Seattle.


( Read more... )

Today wasn't a very good day for me ( Read more... )

I've gone back onto my original drug cocktail ( Read more... )

Everything has been going so poorly that I keep forgetting to think about how awesome some of it is. I spent two weeks at Burning Man this year and it was fucking incredible. It got rough at some points, but I had good friends around me and the experience overall was fantastic. Ian came back for the first time in five years, and we spent the ( Read more... )

I am at the beginning of an expanse of nothingness, as farad the eye can see.

Alone.

Terrified.

I will use the desolation, the nothingness, as a blank canvas, upon whose vast, beautiful, terrifying canvas i will paint and construct and sculpt nothing but my own potential.

Patrick's finally finished moving out ( Read more... )

I've been keeping this journal for over five years now, ever since I found myself in that parking lot in Oakland, shortly after pulling up roots and dropping myself soundly in the middle of the bay area. I moved to Seattle again. I lost my best friend, Erik.

I moved back to The Bay Area, landing at lilibat's beautiful home in San Rafael.i got a job. I quit ( Read more... )

Our home is coming along nicely.

We have had severe ups and downs. But with work they generally are conquered.

I'm learning to cook. I'm training myself to keep tidy. It's so interesting that having z home of ones own inspires cleanliness, a fresh start, a new way of living. We try to keep from losing the bedroom as a chill out place.

Starting from ( Read more... )