Considered doing a video post but then I decided against it when I realized that I look like a troll. So…possibly lengthy written journal times ahead.

Health stuff:I had my meeting with the specialist. I got lost on the way there, which had me tense and panicked, but I managed to figure it out without having to call the place AGAIN for directions ( Read more... )

i'm pretty pessimistic about most things in life...

...except when it comes to love.

when love is concerned, i'm pretty damn hopeful.

here's to having my fairy tale love.

8 months. <3

Sometimes I sit here at night, when my defenses are low, and wonder when the good things in my life are going to come to an end. Because it sometimes just feels inevitable, ya know? Like I fight so hard and give up so much of myself to maintain something beautiful that makes me happy, and I can't help but just think that it's too good to be true ( Read more... )

Made a new layout tonight. Lyrics from "Love, Save the Empty" by Erin McCarley, which I'm obsessed with right now. It's a little more chipper and happy looking as a layout than I intended when I opened photoshop this evening, but maybe that's a good thing. Whatcha think?

I'm really regretting coming off of my anxiety meds. I never gave much thought ( Read more... )

*groans*

i'm in a crappy mood. i'm going to crawl into bed soon and hide under the covers but i felt like writing.

easter was nice....i very much enjoy the get togethers with my family. joshua was in a little suit and jilly had on a dress with a pretty little hat (which, yes, i stole and wore). we played and stuffed our faces. it was good times. it ( Read more... )

Thank you guys so much for your support and thoughts. As I've been reminded, this wasn't even a serious accident…I am fine…my car is fine…but I don't feel it. the fear is still there. The tension and the anxiety are still there. And the idea that it could have easily gotten so much worse is horrifying.

It really does mean a lot to me that some of ( Read more... )

So. Remember my whining/complaining/freaking out about money entry?

Today while I was working on consolidating my loans and looking into a different health insurance with my aunt, I got a call from the principal of the hardwick school. She told me she needed a sub starting tomorrow for ten to fourteen days and wanted to know if I'd be interested. I ( Read more... )

I just put on some classical music so I could focus on writing this, and I can only hear the blast of guns in the next room and guitar downstairs. *headdesk*

Don't you love when your mood does a complete 180? It's like mental whiplash. Ugh. I feel like throwing up.

I was doing all wonderful and was all warm and fuzzy inside…I had an internet date ( Read more... )

Imagine, if you can, being in love with someone. Imagine that this person is someone you know to be wrong for you, to be your complete opposite. This person's weaknesses have hurt you beyond measure and yet, for all intents and purposes, this is still the person with whom you are painstakingly in love. You go to bed at night, still feeling like ( Read more... )

what does "moving on" entail?

does it mean forcing yourself not to be in love?

does it mean jumping into a relationship with someone you don't know that well just because they're pretty, convenient, available, safe?

does it mean turning your back on your pain?

does it mean taking the time to work through your pain? realizing what you've done wrong ( Read more... )