to look life in the face...
Thank you guys so much for your support and thoughts. As I've been reminded, this wasn't even a serious accident…I am fine…my car is fine…but I don't feel it. the fear is still there. The tension and the anxiety are still there. And the idea that it could have easily gotten so much worse is horrifying.
It really does mean a lot to me that some of you have been there for me and have worried about me. A lot of you have offered virtual hugs…I could so use one for real.
I slept a lot today. All of the anxiety and tension has been weighing heavily on my body, and when I've slept I was curled up tight in a ball and so my whole body aches now. I took a muscle relaxer and it knocked me out, but I don't feel much relief in my body. I'm still a little shaky and just…shocked. I can't believe that it happened.
But yea…so people have been awesome and supportive and caring. It means a lot to me, and is helping me to definitely get back on my feet quicker. I even got a special web cam/voice chat cheer up from my lady love, and it made me feel a lot better. She managed to make me smile and to distract me, and she was here for me without actually being here. That's friendship. That's love. Knowing someone will go out of their way just to try to calm you down, or make you better. It's the same with Emma, and some of my other friends - knowing that I can count on them absolutely with no worries of feeling like I'm imposing or being a burden. I'm so thankful to have people like that in my life.
And then you have other people, who prove your worth to them and remind you how much better off you are without them in your life.
Shannon gave a half assed conversation to me about the accident, and then disappeared for hours without responding to the conversation. When I called her out on it, she then went on to say that my posts/messages about the accident were to get pity and attention, and that I play too many head games. She said that I need to get my own life and stop obsessing over hers, and then ended the insults by telling me that she had to go because she had a date.
Nice, huh?
All of this….it just reminds me what's important, and what isn't. I'm safe…I'm alive…I have friends and family who love me and would do anything for me…I'm in love…and I'm okay.
It'll be okay.